10402348 Interesting. It was actually among my favorite dialogue in the chapter. I had a much harder time with the interactions between Caden and Sunset.
If it helps, she's legitimately just embarrassed. There are no hidden romantic undertones or anything going on. My analysis of AJ has always been that she speaks before thinking a lot and Caden picked up on that pretty quickly.
Pretty good so far. You exceeded my (admittedly low) initial expectations for this story so far. Looking forward to when you get into the meat of the story itself.
10498694 The sentience/sapience thing was something I forgot about. Good catch!
As far as the minotaur/centaur thing, I made a deliberate choice there. Tirek's "fingers" usually look like they are pointed, which I always took to mean they are more like claws or some sort of talon-esque digit. With Iron Will there isnt a ton of footage. Sometimes they look like our fingers, sometimes like Tirek's. So I decided to go with the idea that whatever sort of digits they have, they're closer to the dragons than ours. Just a choice on my part to make a human being there a little more exotic for the locals. Great observation though!
Always nice to see a promising story updated! Good slice of life feeling there!
Good...now continue please ;)
I think the Sunset is meant to be Sunburst.
10401887
Youre right! Fixed!
The Applejack interactions seemed kinda forced
10402348
Interesting. It was actually among my favorite dialogue in the chapter. I had a much harder time with the interactions between Caden and Sunset.
If it helps, she's legitimately just embarrassed. There are no hidden romantic undertones or anything going on. My analysis of AJ has always been that she speaks before thinking a lot and Caden picked up on that pretty quickly.
Thanks for the feedback!
10402669
No problem
Awesome chapter
10435198
Thank you! Should be an update coming this week! :)
Pretty good so far. You exceeded my (admittedly low) initial expectations for this story so far. Looking forward to when you get into the meat of the story itself.
10452816
Thanks! Next part is underway. I don't have a ton of time to write, so I appreciate the patience!
waits in anticipation
10478373
It's coming. Promise! Updates to this won't be as fast as some authors. I appreciate your patience!
10478644
Okay good luck
True! After all, if it has a tail it's a monkey; if it doesn't it's an ape!
A grumpy looking minotaur snorts in the background at that. “What am I, then? Chopped hayburger?”
Tirek just rolls his eyes and makes an impolite gesture from his cage in Tartarus, one that only Caden understands.
The sentient/sapient thing happens in this chapter, too.
10498694
The sentience/sapience thing was something I forgot about. Good catch!
As far as the minotaur/centaur thing, I made a deliberate choice there. Tirek's "fingers" usually look like they are pointed, which I always took to mean they are more like claws or some sort of talon-esque digit. With Iron Will there isnt a ton of footage. Sometimes they look like our fingers, sometimes like Tirek's. So I decided to go with the idea that whatever sort of digits they have, they're closer to the dragons than ours. Just a choice on my part to make a human being there a little more exotic for the locals. Great observation though!