I'm a fan of long prose, but once it gets repetitive it feels like I'm wasting my time. You mention the grass in the valley twice: once in the description of the scene and then again through our peddlers perspective, maybe leave it out in one of them?
Definitely get a second opinion though, I'm just a person on the internet.
what a unique take on the HIE genre. you have my attention
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Thanks! :)
Interesting to say the least, will this story have clop? Fisto must know.
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Perhaps. Though I think it best to leave it for the future to tell, eh? (Nice profile by the way, love Fallout New Vegas.)
Hm.
The guy sounds like a merc. Instead I found out that he's alike to an old man being generous with his offers
It has good potential I'm excited to see what you do next keep up the good work
Interesting...
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Thanks. :)
Peddler: A person who goes from place to place selling small items.
Noice
I'm a fan of long prose, but once it gets repetitive it feels like I'm wasting my time. You mention the grass in the valley twice: once in the description of the scene and then again through our peddlers perspective, maybe leave it out in one of them?
Definitely get a second opinion though, I'm just a person on the internet.