An interesting story you have here so far. You could definitely use an editor to give it a good polishing, but aside from that I really like what you've got going here. Keep up the god work .
"Before Fluttershy could reach back into her bag however she was practically dragged into a large group hug by Big Macintosh who looked to be on the verge of sobbing himself right then and there."
I believe the term you are looking for is "bear hug".
This was an awesome chapter, all in all. Good job.
1276278 Thank you for the input and the heads up! It is very helpful!
Also, I did mean group hug as I intended Big Macintosh to drag ALL of them into it. I need to make that a little clearer it seems.
As for the description and the edits in the first chapter you are correct on all accounts.
I worked on my "show and tell" and gave it a more natural feel, allowing for a better understanding of Krysta as well as broader depth for the manticore encounter.
Thank you very much for not only noticing my work, but praising me for it. I worked hard on fixing it and hadn't written anything before it was done. It was pretty much what I had hoped for in the edit, so thank you for giving me that.
I was searching through the story archives (not sure why, considering I have plenty in my read later list) when I came upon this story. I'm usually not fond of HiE stories, so I was about to pass this one by when I saw that human tag. I'm not entirely sure why I stayed and read the story. Perhaps it's because I noticed that you were the author, but I'm certainly glad I did read it. Very engrossing, the first chapter alone had me hooked! It's quite immersing, Krysta is fairly interesting as a main character, nobody seems to be OOC (in fact, the characterization is great!) and the pacing is also very good. I would read much more HiE stories if they were all written like this. I gotta give this A/5.
I don't feel posting an image is good enough for such a well written story, so I'll give you a like, a favorite and a watch... or a follow, since that's what they're calling it now. I sincerely hope you decide to write more.
This line bugs me a lot "'If she really did attack Fluttershy then what can we do? Even Gilda never laid a claw on her'" because it's a false analogy. Gilda was never captured and held captive. With Gilda's more abrasive and potentially violent nature, she probably WOULD attack in order to escape. Most species of animal, little alone sapient species, don't like being locked up.
Hmm. Long and laborious learning of the native language? Or a clever spell by the princess to allow a sort of "universal translator"
Love it. Can't wait for more.
An interesting story you have here so far. You could definitely use an editor to give it a good polishing, but aside from that I really like what you've got going here. Keep up the god work .
1273388 a spell would be really helpful. Learning a new language like that would take quite some time
"Before Fluttershy could reach back into her bag however she was practically dragged into a large group hug by Big Macintosh who looked to be on the verge of sobbing himself right then and there."
I believe the term you are looking for is "bear hug".
This was an awesome chapter, all in all. Good job.
1276278 Thank you for the input and the heads up! It is very helpful!
Also, I did mean group hug as I intended Big Macintosh to drag ALL of them into it. I need to make that a little clearer it seems.
As for the description and the edits in the first chapter you are correct on all accounts.
I worked on my "show and tell" and gave it a more natural feel, allowing for a better understanding of Krysta as well as broader depth for the manticore encounter.
Thank you very much for not only noticing my work, but praising me for it. I worked hard on fixing it and hadn't written anything before it was done. It was pretty much what I had hoped for in the edit, so thank you for giving me that.
You are awesome~
*puts on her moustache*
i am really really enjoying this story. i really am not one to enjoy a HiE story but this one got me. Love it. Faved it. Thumbed it.
Very nice story, hoping to see more. Faved and Liked
I was searching through the story archives (not sure why, considering I have plenty in my read later list) when I came upon this story. I'm usually not fond of HiE stories, so I was about to pass this one by when I saw that human tag. I'm not entirely sure why I stayed and read the story. Perhaps it's because I noticed that you were the author, but I'm certainly glad I did read it. Very engrossing, the first chapter alone had me hooked! It's quite immersing, Krysta is fairly interesting as a main character, nobody seems to be OOC (in fact, the characterization is great!) and the pacing is also very good. I would read much more HiE stories if they were all written like this. I gotta give this A/5.
I don't feel posting an image is good enough for such a well written story, so I'll give you a like, a favorite and a watch... or a follow, since that's what they're calling it now. I sincerely hope you decide to write more.
This line bugs me a lot "'If she really did attack Fluttershy then what can we do? Even Gilda never laid a claw on her'" because it's a false analogy. Gilda was never captured and held captive. With Gilda's more abrasive and potentially violent nature, she probably WOULD attack in order to escape. Most species of animal, little alone sapient species, don't like being locked up.