1177258 Realistically, the language barrier can be a massive flop, or an amazing twist. Sorry for my rude comment, I just have yet to find a story that can pull off the latter of the two...
I am not so much using it as a twist as much as a bit of realism in the story. Though I believe it has some humorous moments, as you can tell this is not a happy story about everything turning out for the best so far. The language barrier is just a reminder to the readers and characters that, this is a tough situation and it will take some real work getting through.
Well, I have a bit of a weak spot for HiEs, especially ones with female protagonists, since I happen to be a female human. After reading through what you've got so far, I like the premise, and the characterization is solid. (It's nice to see a HiE where the human doesn't immediately flaunt brony knowledge, or become instant best friends forever with all the main six and the princesses, or is given ludicrous superpowers. ) My advice is to slow down. I'm not talking Tolkein level slow-- no one wants to read 50 pages about an uneventful stroll through Whitetail Wood in which nothing interesting happens-- but you're not fully utilizing your writer's toolkit. You have !?,.-/:;()--' and "" all at your disposal; use them! And I could go on and on about your bridge words, like however, thus, therefore, because, and all the other ones you can look up on google if you want them because I'm too lazy to list them all here. Your table's solid, it just needs a bit of varnish. (Metaphorically speaking.) Then again, if you don't want to bother with all that you could probably shout out for an editor. That'd help a lot.
Thank you very much for your input and kind comments! I am actually working on the current chapters as we speak in order to make them cleaner and more enjoyable to read!
As for an editor, I would very much like to find a willing person to do so. It never occured to me to ask here.
1190701 Try making a blog post asking for one. I'm not sure how to do it, but there's a way that you can make it notify all of your readers. Or you could add an author's note at the end of your next chapter asking for one. (since an update automatically notifies all of the trackers anyway.)
Clever idea! I will do just that! Thank you very much.
This might seem a little silly and rushed, but before I do that I feel like asking couldnt hurt. Would you be open and willing to become an editor? Your literary knowledge would be a fantastic help.
1193065 Well... I'd be lying if I said I didn't consider doing just that. I do love getting my claws into a work and tearing it to pieces. But the honest truth is that it wouldn't work out long-term. The only computer I have regular access to is this iPad, which just isn't a good machine for editing anything longer than this comment. It has a very small window and is prone to AutoCorrect mishaps. I have to type up all of my projects on a computer at school... which wouldn't work for this, since Lightspeed (the school filter) thinks that FimFiction is porn. The only feasible way it could work is if I took it to school and edited it in my study hall on a Google Document we both had access to, but then it would take forever since I'd only be able to work on it after I finished my homework. So, in short, sure! I just can't be your top editor if you want any sort of consistent timetable.
oh god not the dreaded BATH!!!
But she wants to be covered in dirt
Don't tell me:
Language barrier?
Excuse me while I go vomit my intestines into a trash can.
1176976
I am sorry for your intestines. I am just trying to make it as realistic as possible. No harm to organs was intended.
1177258 Realistically, the language barrier can be a massive flop, or an amazing twist. Sorry for my rude comment, I just have yet to find a story that can pull off the latter of the two...
1179223
Oh I agree. I have seen it all too often.
I am not so much using it as a twist as much as a bit of realism in the story. Though I believe it has some humorous moments, as you can tell this is not a happy story about everything turning out for the best so far. The language barrier is just a reminder to the readers and characters that, this is a tough situation and it will take some real work getting through.
You know what I mean?
There will be some very very minor changes to the current chapters. You know, things like grammar errors and what not!
Hope you all like the prettied up version a bit better.
Well, I have a bit of a weak spot for HiEs, especially ones with female protagonists, since I happen to be a female human.
After reading through what you've got so far, I like the premise, and the characterization is solid. (It's nice to see a HiE where the human doesn't immediately flaunt brony knowledge, or become instant best friends forever with all the main six and the princesses, or is given ludicrous superpowers. )
My advice is to slow down. I'm not talking Tolkein level slow-- no one wants to read 50 pages about an uneventful stroll through Whitetail Wood in which nothing interesting happens-- but you're not fully utilizing your writer's toolkit. You have !?,.-/:;()--' and "" all at your disposal; use them! And I could go on and on about your bridge words, like however, thus, therefore, because, and all the other ones you can look up on google if you want them because I'm too lazy to list them all here. Your table's solid, it just needs a bit of varnish. (Metaphorically speaking.)
Then again, if you don't want to bother with all that you could probably shout out for an editor. That'd help a lot.
1190433
Thank you very much for your input and kind comments! I am actually working on the current chapters as we speak in order to make them cleaner and more enjoyable to read!
As for an editor, I would very much like to find a willing person to do so. It never occured to me to ask here.
1190701
Try making a blog post asking for one. I'm not sure how to do it, but there's a way that you can make it notify all of your readers. Or you could add an author's note at the end of your next chapter asking for one. (since an update automatically notifies all of the trackers anyway.)
1193052
Clever idea! I will do just that! Thank you very much.
This might seem a little silly and rushed, but before I do that I feel like asking couldnt hurt. Would you be open and willing to become an editor? Your literary knowledge would be a fantastic help.
1193065
Well...
I'd be lying if I said I didn't consider doing just that. I do love getting my claws into a work and tearing it to pieces.
But the honest truth is that it wouldn't work out long-term. The only computer I have regular access to is this iPad, which just isn't a good machine for editing anything longer than this comment. It has a very small window and is prone to AutoCorrect mishaps. I have to type up all of my projects on a computer at school... which wouldn't work for this, since Lightspeed (the school filter) thinks that FimFiction is porn. The only feasible way it could work is if I took it to school and edited it in my study hall on a Google Document we both had access to, but then it would take forever since I'd only be able to work on it after I finished my homework.
So, in short, sure! I just can't be your top editor if you want any sort of consistent timetable.
Maybe Twilight could find a language translating spell.
Flee from the bath! Flee for it will eat your soul, Krysta!