Jason was always kind of a loner, him moving to a new place was his way of trying to solidify his life. However, things change a lot more than he thought they would when he meets a pink girl in an alleyway who's more...'open' than anyone he's met.
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Well I'm hooked lets see where it goes from here
Nice
Why is he not asking how she could see him, but he couldn't find her? Even when looking for her. I mean he practically blends into the crowd, whereas she is one of the only two bright pink people in the entire town, she would literally stick out like a sore thumb.
Sounds like she has been betrayed more then a few times.
Does she prefer being in charge because she has been betrayed to many times?
That sounds like something a prostitute would say.
Is she saying that because she has become almost desensitised to it?
That sounds like slut grade praise.
Experienced? what makes her so experienced. and when a female says 'a girl has her ways' isn't the most compromising, provocative option usually the correct one
Meet who about what? I'm very concerned.
Did someone find out she was a part time prostitute and use that as blackmail material, and in tern ruin her social life?
I know that Diane said she doesn't sleep around, but that might not have always been the case, after all only adult women, whores, sluts, escorts and prostitutes have that much Experience right, not a high-school girl right.
Oh what Pinkie, you invade someones mind as a split personality, lock them away and take over their life, and when you're ready you acknowledge them, and when they don't meet your standards, They are the evil one and you purge them from their own mind.
Do you think that's okey, Do you feel your actions are just, How can you sleep at night knowing that you all but killed the owner of that body you're wearing, How can you live with your self knowing that you are a replacement for someone you killed.
Maybe that's why Diane hates you, you are wearing her body like a puppet
This is getting really interesting!
oh. So it's Flutters then. ok
The only issue I have so far with this story is how much he spilled to the random group of girls he met for the first time. That was so SOD shattering that I had to stop reading for a bit. Like, that level of shy awkwardness feels like it would have been semi-paralyzed by the attention of so many girls at once, not spilling his guts about a very personal encounter at the drop of a hat to strangers. It felt like a kind of betrayal, to be honest. You just don't TALK about that kind of thing/offer to people you don't explicitly trust, if at all.
This is really good but I dont like how the coming chapters are being projected. It's not looking good for him and Diane at all unless her and pinkie can somehow be split up. Its pinkie during the day and diane at night and they obviously know each other and hold bad feelings for each other.
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I can't help but agree with you, in retrospect, I could have handled that better. I do feel like I was doing a good job of staying consistent with his character before that and after that, but that scene was a mess up on my part. I promise you I am trying to write this story the best I can, and hopefully won't do something like that again, I only aim to improve.
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Soon....
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It might not be as simple as you think.
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I try.
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I've seen/written a lot, and I mean a lot, of Pinkie and Pinkamena stuff. Not saying I don't love it to death, because I absolutely do. But I wanted to try something a bit different and a bit less...grimdark? Sad? Something like that. That split personality concept has always been interesting to me, and I always thought that the premise of a guy falling for the two separate personalities of one girl could work as a very interesting romance stories.
I'm not the best at writing romance or clops, or writing in general tbh, but I'm giving it my best shot.
Oh wow. He done got hi a crazy one. On the one hand, the crazy ones pound the hardest, on the other hand he might want to be careful as he might wake up to a knife to his throat, not saying she'd kill him or anything, but when dealing with a split personality, they can be somewhat unpredictable because of whatever happened to cause her psyche to split and sometimes that trauma can sometimes come out in not so nice ways.
Interesting so far, and is that a Dexter reference I see?
could Jason get in trouble for Pinkie not consenting if Diane and Pinkie are the same person
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THESE are the kind of showerthoughts everyone should have.
Wish many of my first times were with Diane, or at least someone a bit like her.