10161085 Um, You realize I'm setting up character development for the MC, I mean, he's literally dealing with Aliens, He's not Arnold Schwarzenegger, so He'll be gaining a spine
10161095 Ok... you're throwing out Schwarzenegger and Disney princesses for straw man. The fact of the matter is this guy was kidnapped, held against his will, experimented on against his will (which is considered torture by law) and was threatened with being dissected. What has he shown after being released cowardice and submissiveness. Most human beings fight their captors... not immediately submit to them. I digress, you write what you want to write you do you my dude.
Don't get me wrong I'm not saying it's a bad story idea. It's just being built up as a fetish story specifically a sub male dom female fetish which is fine, it's just not my thing.
10161138 Yeah I can understand that, I'm just writing it how I could see someone getting kidnapped by aliens and start to grow, I'm just got to make sure the characters do grow, I just dislike writing characters that are sudden badasses, or just starts overwhelming, since he is in a disadvantage at the very moment.
10161151 I understand that, but shifting to the extreme on the opposite side by having them act like submissive and scared children makes for bad reading.
His clothes were gone, as he laid in a hospital gown.
This is at the beginning of this chapter
“Good, Now please remove your clothes"
This is midchapter. At what moment did he put on clothes when he is strapped down?
I feel annoyed by this
“Say that to all the sapiens you meet?”
Reason by this is that I don't believe aliens would use the term "Sapien" or any human terminology, unless that the TransWorm is substituting words so that Spike can understand but I feel like that would cause a bit more trouble later on.
“Help, get me out of here come on, I know I have rights!”
I feel like it's missing a comma in this sentence.
“Wait what?” Spike was quiet confused
she was quiet an intimidating woman
interesting Species and quiet New the universe
you’ve cum quiet a bit
You kept using quiet instead of quite in which it was both funny and annoying. Unless this TransWorm needs to update its grammar rules.
I can do an estimated guess on who is the Captain.
I am still surprised that Spike isn't more shocked at the moment, but I can guess that he is a bit of a Sci-fi aficionado. Or seen enough 90's Tv to know where this is going!
The moment you mention her four arms and tits, all I could think of was Sheeva from MK 11, a Shokan. I was already in love with this ship!
Please don't get mad about the errors or get discouraged.
10161896 Lol yeah your on the money with the transworm and its translation needing more updating ita basicly the most successful version twi made the others before it had dangerous side effects. As for the clothes well that was my fault
10161953 so, is the clothes bit gonna be fixed? It is quite jarring to be reading and suddenly Spike is removing clothes that had been removed already....
Hmm... If Twilight's not the captain, then who is? 🤔
10161028
Hmm I guess you'll have to stick around and find out I guess XD But a hint she is definitely going to be a twist
Nice
10161032
glad you liked it lol
I get that this is supposed to be porn, but the spineless submissive human MC kinda ruins it for me. So I'm tagging out my dudes.
10161085
Um, You realize I'm setting up character development for the MC, I mean, he's literally dealing with Aliens, He's not Arnold Schwarzenegger, so He'll be gaining a spine
10161085
Also they're space pirates, they're not Disney princesses.
10161087
10161095
Ok... you're throwing out Schwarzenegger and Disney princesses for straw man. The fact of the matter is this guy was kidnapped, held against his will, experimented on against his will (which is considered torture by law) and was threatened with being dissected. What has he shown after being released cowardice and submissiveness. Most human beings fight their captors... not immediately submit to them. I digress, you write what you want to write you do you my dude.
In it for the porn. That is it. And sexy alien ladies
Don't get me wrong I'm not saying it's a bad story idea. It's just being built up as a fetish story specifically a sub male dom female fetish which is fine, it's just not my thing.
10161138
Yeah I can understand that, I'm just writing it how I could see someone getting kidnapped by aliens and start to grow, I'm just got to make sure the characters do grow, I just dislike writing characters that are sudden badasses, or just starts overwhelming, since he is in a disadvantage at the very moment.
10161151
I understand that, but shifting to the extreme on the opposite side by having them act like submissive and scared children makes for bad reading.
man don't know if i should envy him for meeting some alien women that would do that for a type of examination or feel sorry for him
Four arms and tits eh, now you've got me curious about the other five
I am a bit confused about this.
This is at the beginning of this chapter
This is midchapter. At what moment did he put on clothes when he is strapped down?
I feel annoyed by this
Reason by this is that I don't believe aliens would use the term "Sapien" or any human terminology, unless that the TransWorm is substituting words so that Spike can understand but I feel like that would cause a bit more trouble later on.
I feel like it's missing a comma in this sentence.
You kept using quiet instead of quite in which it was both funny and annoying. Unless this TransWorm needs to update its grammar rules.
I can do an estimated guess on who is the Captain.
I am still surprised that Spike isn't more shocked at the moment, but I can guess that he is a bit of a Sci-fi aficionado. Or seen enough 90's Tv to know where this is going!
The moment you mention her four arms and tits, all I could think of was Sheeva from MK 11, a Shokan. I was already in love with this ship!
Please don't get mad about the errors or get discouraged.
10161896
Lol yeah your on the money with the transworm and its translation needing more updating ita basicly the most successful version twi made the others before it had dangerous side effects. As for the clothes well that was my fault
Is this a nudist thing?
This was a wild first meeting with Twilight,I wonder who the Captain of this ship is.
a space adventure, this is really unprecedented, i've seen middle ages, modern and supernatural, but this is new.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
10161953
so, is the clothes bit gonna be fixed? It is quite jarring to be reading and suddenly Spike is removing clothes that had been removed already....