Chaos Runs Rampant

by RK_Striker_JK_5

Chapter thirteen

Sergeant Bobby Field and Colonel Henry Potter made their way through the Castle of the two Sisters, Bobby at point and his magic club held high. The two soldiers jumped at every noise, every movement in the shadows. “And to think I thought this was gonna be an easy assignment before retirement,” Henry quipped. “If I may ask, Sergeant, is Equestria anything like the Realm you and your friends and sister found yourselves in?”

Bobby paused and glanced back at him. “Well, sir, in the sense that magic's real, yes. Oh, and they've both got unicorns.” He turned ahead and started forward once more. “Other than that? The Realm was a lot more... adventury, for lack of a better term.”

A pair of fruit bat/tool hybrids suddenly flew in from behind a stone wall and made a beeline for the pair. Bobby let out a shout as he swung his club, striking the first one and disassembling it into a fruit bat and jackhammer. The second hybrid, a combination of a fruit bat and sledgehammer, bobbed and weaved around Bobby's subsequent swings. It buzzed and waggled its wings, almost in a taunt, before spinning about and heading straight for Potter.

The colonel unholstered his pistol and fired off two rounds at the hybrid. Both struck true, but ricocheted off the sledgehammer head, now in place of the fruit bat's actual head. He let out a scream before ducking, letting the hybrid pass mere inches above his head and striking the wall behind him. A large chunk of the stone was knocked loose upon impact, teetering slightly before falling and almost missing Potter's head from above.

Bobby's grip on his club tightened. “Oh, no you don't! No one assaults Bobby the Barbarian's commanding officer!” He charged forward, club raised above his head. The hybrid had no time to move or do anything before the Bobby brought his weapon down, striking it and separating the fruit bat from the sledgehammer. Bobby skidded to a halt and raised his club high in the air. “No one defeats Bobby the Barbarian!”

Henry straightened up and tugged down on the front of his shirt. “Excellent job, Sergeant.” He looked around as the fruit bats flew off in separate directions. “Still no sign of the restoration team or our detachment. I don't mind telling you how worried I am, Sergeant.”

Bobby nodded. Memories of being separated from his friends and sister in the Realm flashed before his now-distant eyes. “I have... experience with how dangerous it can be when alone in a magical land such as Equestria.” Bobby's head shot around at the sound of rustling branches. “Colonel, you hear that?”

A pegasus mare and earth pony stallion emerged from the edge of the Everfree Forest, the mare wearing a pith helmet and pocketed shirt while the stallion wore a shirt and neckerchief. Both were grayscale in color, with thin lines running across their bodies and little black curls appearing every so often. The mare swooped down towards the stallion, shaking her hooves. “You won't get the artifact this time, Caballeron!” the mare exclaimed, voice rising and falling with each word.

The stallion–Caballeron–cantered about, his slick mane bouncing with each step. “Curse you, Daring Do!” he shouted, waving a hoof in the air. “You think you've won this round, but I, Doctor Caballeron, shall recover the artifact and sell it for a mountain of bits!”

Bobby and Henry stared at the pair as they shouted back and forth. Potter looked to Bobby and waved a shaking finger back and forth between the ponies. “Sergeant, I think something's happened to Professors Yearling and Caballeron.”

Bobby hefted his club. “I think you mean Daring Do and her nemesis in those film serials they're making based off of Professor Yearling's books.” He squinted. “Man, they'd fit right in with those old Flash Gordon film serials Major Houlihan likes.”

'Daring Do' and Caballeron turned as one to Bobby and Henry. Daring Do jabbed a hoof at Bobby's club. “Ah, the artifact!” Daring Do shouted, flying towards Bobby. “Give it to me, you ruffian!”

Caballeron's eyes tracked Daring Do as she flew off. “Bah! Why bother getting my hooves scruffed?” He pursed his lips together and let out a shrill whistle. “Henchponies, get me that club!”

Four earth pony stallions and one pegasus mare bounded from behind a bush far too small to hide them all. All five were black-and-white, like Daring Do and Caballeron. One stallion wearing a fedora and neckerchief pointed at Bobby. “It's 'da artifact!” Biff said, his voice's cadence somewhat stilted. “We gotta...” He paused, reached behind himself and pulled a sheaf of papers out from somewhere. “We gotta get it for the Doctor,” he read, eyes going back and forth.

Bobby stared at him. “Son of a bitch, he's reading from a script!” He brought his club up as Daring Do flew over at him. “I'm not gonna like doing this, Professor, but you'll thank me–OOF!”

Biff and two other stallions, Rogue and Withers, galloped over to Bobby and Henry. Biff ducked a low swing from Bobby's club, while Withers cantered around Henry, brought his head low and bowled into his legs. Henry let out a shout as he tumbled forward into Bobby and knocked into the younger marine. Bobby fell to the ground, losing his grip on his club and sending it flying.

Daring Do grinned as bobby's club flew up into the air. “At last, the artifact!” she proclaimed, grabbing the club in her forelegs. She turned and started flying off, but was tackled to the ground by Rosy Thorn, the lone pegasus of Cabelleron's henchponies. Daring Do grunted and bared her teeth as she lost her grip on the club and she and Rosy Thorn struggled and rolled around in the grass and dirt. “Let me go!”

The club fell and bounced a few times on the ground before coming to a stop at Cabelleron's hooves. He smirked and grabbed the club. “At last! I shall sell this for a jaunty jangle and retire to some coastal island! Because I'm evil!”

Bobby slid out from under Henry and sighed. “Sorry about this, Biff,” he said before rising into a crouch and punching Biff twice in the muzzle. Even as the stallion reared back, Bobby was up and running towards Cabelleron. Before he could even react, Bobby struck him twice in the foreleg. Caballeron cried out in pain, but Bobby paid it no mind as he grabbed the club from him and backpedaled. He spun the club around in his hands, the enchanted wood glowing with each arc. “Nobody messes with Bobby the Barbarian!” he shouted, bringing the club down and striking the ground with a thwack!

A large translucent hemisphere of magic pulsed from the point of impact, spreading out and away. It swept over the entire area, bolts of energy trailing behind the wave. It flowed over Caballeron, turning him from monochrome to color once more. He stumbled back and shook his head. “What... where am I?” he asked, looking around.

The wave expanded, striking Daring Do and then Caballeron's henchponies, reverting them back to normal. Rosy Thorn and Daring Do slowly floated back to the dirt. “P-Professor Yearling?” Rosy Thorn asked, slowly trotting over. “How did we get out to... the east wall, near where guardhouse five used to be?”

Daring Do, or rather, Professor AK Yearling of Canterlot University, reached out and patted Rosy Thorn on the shoulder. “First off, excellent use of landmarks and terrain to figure out your location. Second off, I have no idea.” She looked around, quickly spotting Caballeron. “Cabbie, what's going on?”

Caballeron shook his head. “I do not know, my dear.” He looked up as Bobby and Henry walked over. “Ah, Colonel Potter! Do you know what in the name of the Mag'ne is going on?” He suddenly gasped and his left foreleg buckled. “Or why I'm in so much pain?”

Bobby dropped to one knee and waved his arms around Caballleron's leg. “Oh, I am so sorry about that, Doctor Caballeron! I was trying to get my club back to dispel the magic affecting you folks and I didn't have any other way to–”

“Wait, what spell?” AK Yearling asked. “Colonel Potter, what the Cerebus is going on here?”

Henry rubbed his forehead before launching into an abbreviated explanation of what had happened to him earlier, and Bobby's club. “... So our best guess is that the sealing of Discord was a failure, and his chaos magic is messing everything and everyone up. Fortunately, Sergeant Field's magic club can negate its effects.” His eyes crossed. “And those were sentences I thought I'd never say.”

AK Yearling let out a small chuckle. “Believe me, Colonel. That's a sentiment I've felt far too many times in my youth.”

Bobby turned to Henry and straightened up. “Colonel, orders?”

Henry sighed and placed his hands on his hips. “Ah, this was supposed to be an easy assignment before retirement.” He rubbed his chin. “Well, there's still the actual work crew, not to mention the security detail.” He waved his hand at the partially-restored ruins of the Castle of the Two Sisters. “Lead on, Sergeant. You and I still have people to rescue.” He looked to AK Yearling and Caballeron. “Professors, I'd suggest getting your aides out of here. It's not safe here.”

AK Yearling drew herself up as straight as possible and adjusted her shawl. “Not a chance, Colonel. No one knows these ruins like I do.” A nicker from Caballeron caused her to roll her eyes. “Almost no one. Still, you'll need someone to guide you.” She looked to Caballeron. “You get everyone else out, old friend.”

Caballeron's nostrils flared. “If you think for one second that I will abandon a treasured colleague while she gallivants around the Everfree Forest before Discordian magic is loose upon here?” He waved a hoof. “No, my dear. Honor demands I help out.”

Rosy Thorn swallowed. “I-I'm staying, too,” she finally said. She forced her lips into a smile as everyone looked to her. “I-I-I don't feel s-safe leaving the Castle of the Two Sisters.”

Biff exchanged looks with Rogue and Withers. “Ah, son of a diamond dog,” Biff finally said. “We're staying with you.” He looked to Rosy Thorn. “Don't wanna leave you too lonely here without someone your own age group to talk to,” he said, winking.

Rosy Thorn rolled her eyes. “I didn't know you cared,” she said, trying-and failing-to hide a real smile from forming.

Henry sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Just wanted a nice, easy assignment before retirement,” he said. “All right, Sergeant Field. Get your club ready. The rest of you, just... try not to wander off, okay?”

Bobby exchanged salutes with Henry. “I won't let you down, sir.” He hefted his club, but sighed as he looked it over. “A shame.”

Rosy Thorn flew over and landed beside him as he started walking. “What is, Sergeant Field?”

“It's just... not the same without my old gang.”

Author's Note:

So to explain AK Yearling and Caballeron here... I did not like the episode Daring Don't and it making Daring Do an actual person. To quote that line from Val Kilmer, "It just raises too many questions". So what's her status in my Hasbroverse? AK Yearling is a professor at Canterlot University, and Daring Do is based on her old expeditions-with a LOT of embellishment and making stuff up. Caballeron is her colleague at Canterlot U and the two are friends. Caballeron is tickled pink at being cast as the bad guy in the books.

Comments

[Pinklestia]

Ouch.

That mare should at leasr have changed some names.

[badninja]

So she fully believes in this saying.

[Starcat5]

A script. Discord had them reading from a script.

[Eurvos Morgenbrise]

Oof, so you'd be among the number who'd have been displeased if the Lunaverse had followed suit to keep with canon.

[redandready45]

Caballeron's nostrils flared. “If you think for one second that I will abandon a treasured colleague while she gallivants around the Everfree Forest before Discordian magic is loose upon here?” He waved a hoof. “No, my dear. Honor demands I help out.”

Nice to see an antagonist with a sense of honor.