The Night Janitor

by Knox Locke

Chapter 34: Cognitive Dissonance

"Gah!" exclaimed Cozy, "Why do my friends have to be so... friendly all the time? It makes me feel guilty for manipulating them!"

She was currently venting to her lone confidant, who'd met with her in Pinkie's loft at Sugarcube Corner. She'd been sharing her thoughts on everything with her confidant since the week Knox and Pinkie started dating. Little did she know, every word she'd ever uttered in his presence was permanently captured in his memory. In fact, her confidant had, unbeknownst to her, figured out all 637.5 ways Cozy's Master Plan could turn out. If he wanted to, he could recount the details of every last one right now.

'But is it truly manipulation,' thought her confidant, 'if everycreature gets what they want?'

"I don't know how Knox is going to react if he ever finds out what I'm planning," Cozy continued, "and I'm pretty sure poor Sweetie Belle would be crushed if she found out I was keeping secrets again."

'No need for you to worry about that,' her lone confidant said without noise, 'Knox is as forgiving as they come, and Sweetie is one resilient little filly. She can take it, and she'll most likely forgive you. Besides, if you think about it, they've already caught you keeping secrets, haven't they? You didn't tell anypony but me what you were going through with your trauma. Now look at you: diagnosed with PTSD and lovingly supported by everypony you care about.

'For what is trauma, really, but a single moment and a choice. The choice is as such: choose to remain trapped and tormented within that moment forever, or try to overcome it! The choice is yours, Cozy Glow. You simply have to work towards the ending you choose.'

"I don't even know how I ended up with so many ponies caring about me," Cozy stated. "I thought it would take longer. Then again, I don't get why Knox was so deadset on freeing me either."

'It's a complex matter. Knox cared about you deeply before you were imprisoned, and you know what they say: 'absence makes the heart grow fonder.' Then again, Knox tried to distance himself from anything that reminded him of you for a while, and that seemed to make him happy. Nowhere near as happy as he is now, but happy nonetheless. I guess it's like they say: out of sight, out of mind. He even went so far as to spend the night here once.

'Speaking of spending the night here, that brings us to Pinkie Pie. She's growing more present in your life by the day now that she and Knox are romantically involved. Makes you wonder, though... What do they see in each other? Pinkie is energetic and nearly happy to a fault, while Knox is rather secluded and still something of a ticking time bomb when he's under a lot of stress. Just goes to show, opposites attract.

'I believe they're good for each other, though. Pinkie helps Knox to step out of his comfort zone, while Knox helps keep Pinkie grounded in reality. Pinkie helps Knox to occasionally stop worrying, while Knox helps keep Pinkie calm when she gets upset. There's an anomaly in this 'opposites attract' theory, however: the relationship between Knox & you.

'Here you both are, severely broken individuals with enough emotional baggage to break an elephant's back and hairtriggers more sensitive than Fluttershy. I suppose you either simply enjoy each other's company due to your somewhat similar personalities, or, perhaps more likely, your similar shortcomings and struggles put you both in a unique position to be able to help each other to overcome them. Either way, you two seem to stick to each other faster than birds of a feather! I guess that makes sense. After all, the broken take better care of the broken. Knox would do anything to protect you, Cozy. I can only hope you know how true that is.'

Her confidant continued to say nothing, as always.

"Well, thanks for letting me vent, Gummy," she said as she reached over and stroked the alligator's head. "You're a great listener."

'Anytime,' he thought. 'Always a pleasure.'

Author's Note:

In The Next Chapter: Cozy's panic attacks are becoming a problem. She needs help. Let's find out who she seeks the aid of!

Comments

[asdtroi8895]

That is an interesting confident. I guess Flutterhy's lessons really payed off.

[Yosh-E-O]

As I read down a few lines, along with knowing the location, I was like, "Ah! It's Gummy!". Cozy may, or may not, hear 'voices in her head' that make Gummy appear to answer, but it still beats Chrysalis making friends with logs. :)

PTSD is definitely no joke. The most recent turn into stone certainly will take a long time to even not 'physically' feel. (My PTSD from all that happened in my life going 100% blind and being largely ostracized from people IRL manifests as arm and neck pain. Even when I have learned techniques and got on proper medicine, the pain still comes. It's like the mind is still feeling the anguish even if you are not thinking of it.)

Maybe this is why I root for Cozy? The line, "The broken take care of the broken." is certainly one I have lived in and have found sanctuary from discrimination and being seen as a 'worst nightmare' by those who even bother to ask me about it. *Shrugs*

It is going to be interesting to see how Cozy handles her Panic Attacks. I've had all sorts and they can do a lot of different things. However, based on the cockatrice incident, it would be fair to believe she'll erupt into uncontrollable shaking and stammering before, if not brought down, she falls down against the weight of her inner demons.

[Wild Stallion]

She was currently venting to her lone confidant, who'd met with her in Pinkie's loft at Sugarcube Corner. She'd been sharing her thoughts on everything with her confidant since the week Knox and Pinkie started dating. Little did she know, every word she'd ever uttered in his presence was permanently captured in his memory. In fact, her confidant had, unbeknownst to her, figured out all 637.5 ways Cozy's Master Plan could turn out. If he wanted to, he could recount the details of every last one right now.

I know where this is going!

"Well, thanks for letting me vent, Gummy,"

Knew it!

And by the way, best use of Gummy I've seen around the site recently. It's been a while.