Resistance Is Futile

by bdoubleowo

Pinkie Knows the Future

“Yeah!”

Everypony in the room was cheering, including Twilight. She noticed Rainbow Dash sneaking out of the room, but decided to not mention it. Rainbow was a pegasus, she needed to stretch her wings occasionally.

When they were done, Discord got up and stretched. “It was lovely having that little chat, ponies. Fluttershy, next Tuesday like usual?”

“Of course, Discord. Do you want me to get the tea or do you want to?” asked Fluttershy. Applejack raised an eyebrow.

“Fluttershy, we’re about to embark on a dangerous quest into a cube-shaped spaceship to rescue our princess, and you’re talking about Tuesday tea?” she asked incredulously.

“Well, of course!” Fluttershy said. “It wouldn’t be nice to skip it just because of a quest. Besides, Discord helped us.”

Discord smiled. “That I did, Applejack. That I did.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Fine.”

“Alright girls! Let’s go!” Twilight shouted, then stopped, realizing that Rainbow hadn’t returned yet. “Um, girls? Has anypony seen Rainbow Dash?”

“I saw her earlier!” Pinkie said, then bounced over to Twilight. “She flew out the door!”

“I saw that too. I mean, did anypony see her come back in?” Twilight asked, now worried.

“She went to-“ Pinkie clapped a hoof over her own mouth.

“Pinkie? Do you know where she went?” Applejack asked.

“I- I do!” Pinkie said through her hoof. “But I can’t say.”

“Why not?” Twilight said, confused. “I don’t understand why. I mean, if Discord made her disloyal again…” Twilight glared at Discord. “All I’ll say is, he better not have.”

Discord held up his claw in a scout’s-honor gesture. “I swear on my friendship with Fluttershy that I did not do that. I haven’t corrupted anypony lately.”

Twilight squinted at Discord.

Discord sighed. “Okay, okay. There was an incident last week, but that’s all I’m saying.”

Twilight nodded, satisfied. “It doesn’t help us, anyway. Too far in the past.” She turned and looked at Pinkie. “Now, about why you can’t tell us where Rainbow Dash went?”

“Because if I tell you, you’ll know about something earlier than you should.” Pinkie said.

Twilight sighed. “Just tell us, Pinkie. Rainbow’s our friend, we can’t just leave her wherever she is while we go on a quest.”

“Fine, I’ll tell!” Pinkie took a deep breath. “Shesinthelibrarystillandsheslockedinside!” She huffed and puffed. “There, that’s all I can say!” She looked up to see all of her friends staring at her in shock. “What?”

“She’s what, darling?” Rarity asked.

Pinkie gasped. “Oh no, you heard!”

“Yes, I did, Pinkie,” Rarity said, then sighed. Twilight took this as a cue to step in.

“Pinkie, did I hear you say that Rainbow was locked inside the library?” Twilight asked.

Pinkie nodded. “Yup. She was locked inside a trunk, actually, but the person writing this couldn’t put that part in or the words wouldn’t look right.”

Twilight blinked. “…what?”

“Don’t question it,” Applejack whispered to Twilight. “She’s Pinkie. Just accept the fact that someone’s writing our every move and word, and think that that’s not creepy at all.”

“Oookayyyy…” Twilight said. “Let’s just go and unlock that trunk.”

*In the library*

“So which trunk?” Twilight asked. All around the room were trunks, for Twilight liked to keep certain objects together, and the only way to do that was to have them in a certain place. And… also because Twilight liked having trunks. Ever since she lived in Canterlot, actually.

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Geez, Twilight. You sound like I know everything!” She bounced off towards the bookshelves.

Twilight blinked, then shook her head. “Alright.” She looked around and saw that there were six trunks. Perfect. “I’ll get the one behind me and the one in my room. Each of you, choose one to try and open.”

“Yay!” Pinkie shouted. From out of nowhere, she pulled her party cannon out and blasted confetti in the air. “RESCUE-RAINBOW-DASH-FROM-A-LOCKED-TRUNK-IN-TWILIGHT’S-LIBRARY PARTY!!!”

Twilight rolled her eyes, then turned towards the trunk. “Let’s go!” She used her magic to open the trunk in front of her. It opened, and Rainbow Dash was staring at her, gagged.

Twilight jumped back in shock. “How exactly was it that easy?”

Applejack walked over. “I don’t know, but I guess now there’s no reason to open the other trunks.”

Twilight levitated the gag off of Rainbow Dash. The cyan pegasus gasped and flew out of the trunk.

“Somepony fillynapped me!” Rainbow said, out of breath.

“What?!” Twilight couldn’t believe her ears. “Are you sure? Who was it?”

“When somepony locks you in a trunk, yeah, you’re being fillynapped!” Rainbow looked at Twilight with a “well, duh!” look on her face. “And no, I don’t know who it was.”

“How do you know it was a mare?” Rarity asked. “It could’ve been a stallion.”

“Trust me, it wasn’t. I was in the right position, let’s just say that.” Rainbow shuddered. “I was definitely a mare.”

“Alright, alright! I get your point!” Twilight said. “So what happened next?”

“She shoved me into the trunk, then turned around and there was a flash of green light, then a second flash of green light, I had turned over so that I wouldn’t be blinded, but when I turned back around her legs were cyan, like mine.” Rainbow sighed. “The weird part is that her legs were pink before.”

Rarity gasped. “Are you saying you looked at a mare’s legs?”

“I will NOT stop reading fanfics, they are now correct and are NOT confusing me! I knew it for years!” Pinkie said, a satisfied look on her face.

Rainbow facehoofed. “I’m not gay!”

“If you say so,” Pinkie said, still looking satisfied.

Rainbow turned to Rarity. “And I’m not saying that, I’m saying that her legs changed color! That’s physically impossible, unless she had flank paint!”

“And… did she?” asked Twilight, who was intrigued against her better interest.

“No!” Rainbow said. “That fact, plus the green light, means that the mare who fillynapped me was…”

“A changeling!” everyone shouted at once.

Pinkie smacked her forehead. “I TOLD you you’d find out soon!”