Equestrian Law

by East Coast

A lack of suits, and a rarity

"I unpacked all your things M, you didn't bring any with you."

"Nooooo!!! T-this just isn't possible! I-I left them... I left them at home... No..."

"What? it's just a-"

"If you finish that sentence... We're gonna have a problem..."

"Why?! This-is-ridiculous."

"This is the worst possible thing, I don't have a damn thing to wear to court!"

"And? We are ponies. We are without clothes 90% of the time! This is stupid!"

"You're stupid! You don't understand! The suit is a trademark of a lawyer! I-if I don't have one... I-I won't be able to face my client, o-or go to court o-or function in the real world! I-I'll have to go into exile! Become a hermit! Th-th-this is just-"

"Oh goddess! Enough!"

*Ding-Dong*

"Who's that?"

"You get it! I'm no good without a suit!"

I felt the best option at the moment was to hide under the bed and look out upon the unsuspecting world. The suit I came in was covered in rubble from breaking through the roof in the library tree! I couldn't face anypony in this condition! Well, cept trix, but that's because she's had known me before I had suits. Ugh... Those were truly dark days. When she came back, I was in awe, of two wonderful, resplendent things.

1; A lovely marshmallow colored mare with a mane like a wave of purple sexy
2;And the rack of debonair, splendorous, wonderful suits that looked all for me, I hoped they were all for me anyway...

"I felt a disturbance in the ebb of fashion! I came as soon as I could! Where is the colt in need of suits?"

"There, under the bed, hiding from-"

"The world! Ohhh I knew I was dealing with a professional! Come here darling, momma's got a clean new suit for you."

I wasn't sure what had happened, but it seemed this pretty mare had made me into a shy puppy... Or maybe a cat of some sort. I don't know, all I know was trix was giving me a disapproving look from under the hood. It was just one of those things you didn't need to see, you just kinda knew they were looking at you funny. How could she understand?!

How can YOU understand!
YOU can't! That's how!
Wait...

Ok, let me explain. You see, when I was just a young foal, my father told me "Mags ma boy, a mans uniform, well, it's a symbol of his rank, his pride, his..." "Natural dominance in society?" 'Haha, no mahboy, women rule our society, the word is masculinity. Well without a uniform a stallion mine-as-well just... Well, you're to young to know what happen to stallions who fail at life son. Just know this, find your uniform. Search the cosmos for that one- special article of barding that makes you truly happy... And wear the shit out of it."

So you see, I did that! I looked around Canterlot, Manehattan, Cloudsdale, Fillydelphia, hell in Detrot... I hate Detrot! But I looked all over... And then, on a skywagon ride back from the summer sun celebration in Canterlot I saw it... Just, sitting there... It was love at first sight...

A moving van, it had dropped a box out the back and it hit a cloud and spilled open, sending the contents spilling out... And my one true love fell, right on my head

It was beautiful. And soft. And warm, yet cool... And... It was cool, really, really, reallly cool... Maybe about 20% cooler that anything else I'd seen before... I just felt so drawn to her, to her and those suits... I found myself just barely fluttering off the ground, floating ever closer to a dream come true.

"Thaaat's it~ Who's a good pegasus? It's you! Would you like these suits? I think they'd look good on you."

"Really?"

"Ohhhh yes! Go ahead, try one on!"

And so I did it.
______________________________________

"This! is THE BEST fit I've ever had for... For anything! Goodness how did you know?"

"Ohh pishaw! It was nothing truly."

"But how did you know my measurements? Or my favorite color... Or that my favorite color looks terrible on me?"

"A little pinky told me."

"T-That's-"

"If you're going to be staying here indefinately, learn to just trust pinkie, she's never wrong... A little off, but never wrong... Well... Yeah mostly never wrong."

"Yeah... I'm starting to get that... So what do I owe you?"

"Well you're defending Berry Punch right? I suppose... A promise will suffice."

Wait... A-A promise? Seven suits, seven awesome, spectacular, well fitted, tailor made by a luscious marshmallow of a mare and... She wanted a promise...

"Uhhmmm... Sure?"

"Just do you're best. I admit I don't know berry very well but still, I know she didn't do this. She couldn't have. Berrys' a drunk, not a thug."

"I-I'll Do that, yeah of course..."

Then something lovely happened. She kissed my cheek. Her lips pressed against my cheek, puckered and planted a flag of what smelled like grapes and lavender on my cheek...

What the HELL was Trixie talking about?! This place was great!

"Uhhma uhmm errr-"

"You know, for luck and all that... Oh! And if you could maybe just spread the word about Carousel Boutique to all your friends? I'd appreciate that too! Farewell now!"

And, I couldn't help but have some mixed feeling as I watched her diamond studded plot trot out the door I had forgotten existed.

"Hello? Equestria to Mag, Equestria to Mag! Are you listening? Of course not. No Cause you never do. If I walked around like a nymponiac like her would you pay more attention to me?"

I didn't even get her name...

" 'ohhh my name is rarity~ I'm soooo british! Look at me with my diamonds, and jewls, and fashion, and astounding abbility to give everything away! And my marshmallow coat! And my inviting eyes and precarious ways!'"

Leave it to Trix to get me a name by preforming a poor bit of impersonation...

"Rarity..."

You know... I know my mind should be on Berry, or Cherilee, or the impossible pink pony who seemed to know everything about me when I hadn't even met her till a few hours ago... But...

But...

But...

DAT PLOT!!!

Comments

[Misterf]

Unfortunately I'm busy at the moment. Marked as "read later". Will edit when done. I say all that to say this:

FIRST

[The Dragon Warlock]

1144675 You know you can get banned for 24 hours for doing that right?

[Chuckle5]

Why is it people get so but hurt from saying, "FIRST," its fun to do.

By the way THIRD

[GentlemanChoGath]

1144675
First on my wape list.

[TheTwientist]

A bit, um, typo-ish, but an interesting and pretty funny read. Just get to the action soon!

[DezzarTac]

It's slender- oh nvm, its just a suit, carry on!

btw

SIXTH

[Stea the Changeling]

....That Last line got me.....

[Relevant Heavy Metal]

I Am The Law - Anthrax

[BenRG]

Trixie! The green-eyed look doesn't suit you! First you're jealous of Twilight... which is understandable because she's an actual mage whilst you're just a lone, nomadic carnie, but now you're jealous of Rarity? Could it be that you feel... threatened?

[fattony2]

Dat Plot, huh? What an interesting way to end a chapter. Keep up the good work, though.