Equestrian Law

by East Coast

Arriving In ponyville, and a great and powerful run in.

It had been about a day sense I sent my response to Ms.Berry Punch, I had to plan my flight path to Ponyville (my little law firm, well it's less of a firm and more of a lavishly decorated office... A small, lavishly decorated office... Was based in Canterlot which was quite a deal of flight time. I needed to plot [heh... Oh yeah, you'll get this later] rests stops...)Or so I thought... Then I remembered the train...

So I took the train. I shared a nice car with it appeared only one other pony, a mare who I knew from law school.

"Trixie? Trixie is that you?"

The little blue mare raised her head almost timidly out of the seat, looking back at me with a what seemed like a mix of hope and dread.

"M? That really you? It's... Nice to see you, you can keep walking if you'd like."

"What? Keep walking? You kidding?"

"Of course not... The..."

She took a deep breath and smiled at me

"The great and powerful Trrixxie NEVER kids!"

"Great and powerful who now?"

"What?! You mean you don't KNOW?!"

She told me everything.
_______________________________________________________________________________________

"You stopped an Ursa MAJOR?!"

"Was there ever any doubt?"

"My-Oh my... Wow Trix..."

"It was nothing really, just saved a whole town, no big."

"No I mean... Wow..."

"How did you-"

"Lulled it to sleep. All it needed was a nap, what a baby right?"

"So why's this car empty? I'd think that you being so popular-"

"I had the ponies in charge keep all ponies out. Signing autographs is probably the only thing more tiring than exterminating an Ursa..."

"I can imagine..."

"No, you really can't."

"So..."

"Yes well, where exactly are you doing?"

"Oh I'm just a lawyer. I'm on my way to Ponyville to deal with what I'm betting is a DnD."

"Haha! You still play?!"

"Haha, nooo! A drunk and disorderly... Do you?"

We both looked away, I still played allot of diamonds and dogs. But, I mean, Trixie was a big monster slayer now, I couldn't tell her I still played that nerds game...

Not that if you play Dnd it makes you a nerd...

Not that nerds dont play dnd...

Why do you always need this justification?

Leave me alone.

"Wait... Did you just say Ponyville?!"

"Uhh, yeah... It's the last stop... The next stop..."

"WHAT?!"

She was now panicked, what the hay could be in Ponyville to make an Ursa hunter panicked?! What had I gotten myself into?!

"Nonono! We CAN'T go to Ponyville! I REFUSE to face, to face, to face that bitch!"

"What bitch? What's in Ponyville?"

"A HUUUUUUUUGE bitch! Ugh I can't stand that Twilight Sparkle!"

Twilight Sparkle... I heard that name before...

" 'Oh look at me, I'm Twilight Sparkle, I'm a nervous shut in bookworm, whore! Who sucks Celestia's big fat-"

"That's it! She's Celestia's apprentice! Wait... Why don't you-"

She seized my head with her magic and yanked it down into her tiny booth

"She is evil. Do you understand? That mare is as vile as they come. You don't trust her for a minute alright?... Do you have a hood or something I could wear till I can catch the next train out of Ponyville?"

"Uhhhmmm-"

"Oh I know you do, you always carried one."

And just like in school, Trixie just rummaged through my bag like it was hers and pulled out what she needed... And just like in school she was right. I had brought a burlap cloak, just in case. She slipped it on and just like in school, she looked kinda cute.

"Can you see my face?"

"No but-"

"Good. I'm bunking with you tonight."

"Uhhhmmm-"

"Glad to hear it."

And so now I had a black mage. I couldn't help but feeling my party was a little light on defenders... Oh goddess I needed to stop playing dnd...
________________________________________

I was staying with the family that owned the local sweet store called 'sugar cube corner' it was a pretty quaint place. Heavy on the smell of cupcakes and there were weird sounds coming from the basement, but I suspected it was the lovely couple simply showing me some friendly respect. Trixie seemed to be shooken up by the place and headed upstairs, taking everything I save my briefcase, which she probably would have had it not been secured to my side. Which left me to find where somepony keeps their prisoners... A town with no jail... Well... Actually that was pretty common in Equestria, as far as I knew only Canterlot and Manehattan had one... And Detrot, but it was Detrot they always had had one. I decided to ask the first pony I saw, a pink pony who was walking out of the basement.

"Hello, uhm I'm-

"Magna carta! I'm Pinkypie! Hey what's your favorite number?"
________________________________

Well... Last time I ever talk to that one again. After telling her my favorite number was twenty-one she proceeded to guess why. Then, after deducing I like blackjack, she went off on a tangent on how she preferred lil' pip. Who the feather was lil'pip? Then she went on to explain that she was pleased to meet me and I should prepare for a surprise, but I shouldn't prepare too much or that would ruin the fun of it, but she knew I didn't like surprises so much(how did she know that?) and gave me a cupcake for my heart condition(how did she know that?! Furthermore, how the hay does a cupcake help a heart condition?!) And then went on and on about her friends, most of it was too fast for me to follow, but I did get that the pony to see around here for information was Twilight Sparkle, which I was kinda hesitant about but then she told "Don't worry, Trixie just has sour grapes... Or maybe a sour shake? Sourgrapes, sourshake, sourgrapes, sourshake..." And that seemed to catch her in a loop. Which gave me time to escape to... A tree...

Not that I don't like trees
Trees are cool...
Can't you just leave me alone?
...
SHUTUP!

*knock, knock, knock*

>Spike! Answer the door!<
>Why?<
>Because I'm expecting somepony!<
>Who are you expecting?<
>Discord! Who does it matter? Just answer the door please!<
>Ok, ok alright.<

The door opened up and there was a little purple dragon.
A little, baby, purple dragon...
A dragon...

Surprisingly enough, there was already a hole in the ceiling I found myself flying through in my panicked response to the DRAGON IN THE DOOR!

"Good thing we didn't get to fixing that after the last time Rainbow crashed through... Anyway, who are you?"

"I'm Magna Carta, I was told to come see you for information on the case..."

"Oh yeah, Pinky told me you'd be coming."

"How could she, I just-"

"She told me this afternoon. Said that her tail twitched but it didn't feel like it would actually happen till later on today... And she was right..."

"How could she-"

"I don't understand it. Science can't explain it. She says she gets a look at the script before the episode comes out."

"What the hay does that even-"

"I don't know anymore, I just trust her enough to just believe her."

"Riiiight..."

"Well Berry is staying with her sister Cherilee, so that's where-"

I was out before she finished. I had crashed through the ceiling in a new place and decided to fly to the cube (that really wasn't so much a cube as a circle) and figured my best option was to get in my best fitting suit and head over... Which was actually a terrible idea... Because when I got back I discovered...

"What do you mean I don't have any suits?!"

Comments

[BenRG]

"What the hay does that mean...?"

"I don't know anymore."

That pretty much sums up any conversation where something PInkie said comes up.