Silence
Silence
I sat in my window nook, staring at the door for almost an hour before Vinyl poked her head in. Seeing me waiting she entered fully and shut the door before taking a seat on my bed. “So,” she said, puffing out her cheeks, “everything?”
I nodded.
“That makes it sound like there’s a lot, but it’s... it’s not, not really.” Vinyl sighed again and flopped back on my bed. I waited patiently for a couple of minutes while she got her thoughts in order. “I, um, met Hazelblossom at 78RPM - that music shop - last year. His dad owns the shop and he works there when he isn’t playing at The Underground or mixing music. I had some questions about mixing equipment and we started talking.
“At first he was just showing me how to make different kinds of music. He showed me how to swap around my setup to do different things. I kept experimenting, kept making stuff, but my stuff here doesn’t have all the bells and whistles, y’know? Er, not to say the stuff your parents got me isn’t great, but it’s not quite top of the line.”
“So you started using his?” I asked.
Vinyl shook her head. “Nah, not at first. We were trying to see what all could be done with my setup. We got some pretty cool stuff going, honest. You’ve probably heard it the last couple of months, but it probably all sounds the same.”
Her gaze wandered around the room, stopping on a shelf of pictures of the four of us outside a concert hall in FIllydelphia. “When I went in to get music for the train ride to Manehatten, he mentioned he was going to be playing up there for several days. That’s when I agreed to meet him up there. While we were there and you were spacing out - “
I tried my best to look guilty, but I don’t know if it worked.
“ - he was telling me how it all worked, and I really, really wanted to try it. So after we were ungrounded, I snuck out and went there after he got off work one night so he could show me how to DJ. It’s hard, Tavi, but it’s so much fun. I can kind of do it with my equipment here, but it doesn’t quite work right.”
It finally all started to make sense. “So that’s why you were sneaking out, to practice?”
“Yeah, exactly. He sleeps during the day and works at night, so I basically had to sneak out at night, that’s when he’s awake,” Vinyl responded.
“I didn’t even realize you’d started skipping school, though,” I prompted.
Vinyl snorted. “I figured you wouldn’t, I stay away from all the smart pony classes.”
She laughed again and ducked as I threw a pillow at her. “I just want to make music, Tavi. Math, science, all that other stuff seems so boring. I graduate in a few months, but I don’t want to waste the time.”
“I don’t think it’s a waste of time,” I said.
It must have been the wrong thing too, because Vinyl jumped off the bed and started pacing, anxiously. “Maybe not for you, but you’re actually going somewhere. You graduate, go to the Conservatory on that scholarship that we both know you’re going to get, and become a better cellist than your mom, or composer than your dad. I can’t play an actual instrument, I’m not smart like you are, and I don’t want to ask your parents for money for college that isn’t going to do anything for me.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but Vinyl stopped pacing in front of me and wrapped a hoof around my muzzle. “Don’t, Tavi. I literally just had this conversation with Melody.”
I prodded at her chest with a hoof until she let go. “What did you guys talk about?”
“I told her that I just want to make music and that Hazelblossom can help me with that. She doesn’t like him, thinks he’s a bad influence on me. I tried to tell her that I knew all this stuff before I even met him but...” She shook her head. “We didn’t get into a fight or anything, but it wasn’t much of an agreement.”
One of my ears twitched. Two of the most stubborn ponies I knew were Mother and Vinyl. I found myself very, very happy I wasn’t in that room. Vinyl hopped up onto my window bench, squishing me against one wall, and continued, “We, uh, didn’t really get much accomplished, honestly. But I think we both realized that neither of us are going to change our minds. It’s a bit of a stalemate really, since I turn eighteen next week.”
It took me a moment to think of what that could mean. “You can’t possibly be thinking about dropping out.”
Vinyl’s ears flattened and her gaze darted away from mine. “I... I don’t really know. But I won’t lie, I’ve been thinking about it.”
“Vinyl! You can’t!” I shouted, sliding off my seat to the floor in front of her. “I know you think that staying in school is boring and a waste of time, but think about how much of a waste it will be if you leave so close to the end?”
She stood slowly and, with a shake of her head, went to the door. “Like I said, I don’t know. I’m kind of tired, I’ll see you in the morning.” With that, she left, letting the door latch behind her.
For a moment I thought about going to find Mother, but there didn’t really seem to be much point. Nothing I said was going to change what was going on between those two, and that was where the trouble really lay. Faintly I could still feel the bass of Vinyl’s speakers through the floor. It was comforting after the absolute silence of the night before.
I’d gotten what I wanted though, Vinyl told me exactly what was going on. I just didn’t know how to help, or what to do about it. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if it was something I could actually help with.
<><><><><>
Tensions around the house rose in the week leading up to Vinyl’s birthday. She stopped joining us for dinner, preferring instead to eat by herself. I also saw her leaving in the middle of the night without a word, probably to Hazelblossom’s, but she was always home in the morning.
Neither Mother or Father asked where he lived and even if they did I didn’t know if I’d tell them.
Vinyl’s actual birthday came and went without anypony exploding, which might have been a minor miracle. Mother had never made us go to school on our birthdays, but since Vinyl hadn’t gone in two days it seemed a moot point. She was around long enough for me to wish her a happy birthday before disappearing into the city.
As I was walking home from school, Vinyl was waiting for me a couple of blocks from our house. She waved when she saw me, then started walking towards the park we used to play at years ago. I heard the creaking of the swing before I saw her. With a small grin, I sat on the open swing and kicked off.
“Have fun today?” I asked as our swinging naturally synced up.
Vinyl didn’t answer. I watched her swing for a moment, her two-tone mane blowing in the breeze, before asking again.
“I think I’m going to drop out,” she said after I asked a third time.
Caught off guard, I missed my next kick and spun the swing, knocking into her and the swing supports. “What?” I squeaked from both pain and surprise.
A burst of power from Vinyl’s horn quickly stopped my erratic swinging. “I’ve been thinking about it for awhile,” she continued, much more audible without the creaking of my swing. “I haven’t gone basically all week. I just don’t care. I’m old enough now to remove myself and Melody can’t stop me.”
“But what are you going to do?” I asked. “If you don’t finish high school, you don’t go to university, and you can’t get a decent job. How are you going to afford to live in Canterlot?”
“I told you the other day, I’m going to make music,” she said, becoming more defensive.
“Maybe in the long run, but the bits don’t just show up. It takes some time!” I was starting to get frustrated too. I understood wanting to start something right away, but wasn’t throwing away years of schooling right before the end just as bad? And how were Mother and Father going to react when they found out?
“Then I’ll take the time! I’ve got ways to get my music out there, Tavi. Hazelblossom said he’d start mixing some of my music into his sets, and there’s always that stallion in the music shop I went to as a kid!”
“You don’t even remember his name though!” I forced myself to stop and take a couple of deep breaths, masking this from Vinyl by dismounting the swing. I continued in a much more reasonable volume. “I just don’t want you to be in a bad position.”
Vinyl dismounted right after I did, visibly irritated. “I know, I’m just done with it all. I’m done with school, I’m done with being told what to do. I’m done with everypony saying they know what’s better for me than I do.”
I tried to answer, but she turned around and started walking towards our home. Her legs are longer, so I had to trot to catch up. She refused to look towards me, just sped up. By the time we reached home, she was practically in a full gallop, with me not too far behind. Vinyl threw open the door and was upstairs before I could cross the threshold. From upstairs, her door slammed shut.
Mother hurried herself into the entryway hearing the noise. “Octavia! Is everything okay?”
She walked over to me and put a hoof around me. I took a shaky breath and forced myself to stop shaking and calm down. I was not an athletic pony, and that run had done me no favors.
“It’s Vinyl,” I puffed out, allowing myself to be led to the parlor. Mother pushed me to a seat then went to make tea.
“What’s that crazy filly doing now?” she asked with a shake of her head, upon returning with tea. She poured us both cups and sat beside me, waiting.
So I told her everything.
Mother started by looking concerned, but the more I spoke, the sadder she became. When I finished, she looked up at the ceiling, towards Viny’s room, with a sigh. “That girl...”
“What are you going to do?”
She stood and gently patted my head. “I’m going to go talk to her. Why don’t you make dinner tonight? Something special for VInyl, hmm?” Without waiting for an answer she strode through the door and up the stairs.
I busied myself in the kitchen taking stock of ingredients. We didn’t really have what we needed, so I grabbed a small bag of bits from Mother’s room and went to the market. I was determined to make Vinyl a great dinner, to be enjoyed after Mother and her got done talking, again.
Maybe I should have gone up with her. It didn’t seem like Mother and Vinyl’s talks went all that well anymore...
When I returned about an hour later, they were still up in Vinyl’s room, talking. They didn’t seem to be yelling, which was a good sign. I busied myself in the kitchen for almost another hour to whip together a salad I knew Vinyl liked, and a small cake for her as well.
After setting everything on the table, I fetched Father from his study and, after filling him in, went upstairs to get Mother and Vinyl. I knocked twice, then poked my head into the room. “Mother, Vinyl, dinner is ready.”
They both turned to look at me, Mother from a chair by the desk, Vinyl from the floor. My friend sat behind a big box, a small selection of records floating in her magic over it. Behind her, the shelf that held her stereo sat mostly empty, all the records likely having been already boxed.
I stepped into the room and looked around. A lot of Vinyl’s music equipment had been broken down and packed into a couple of cases, and a small box overflowing with cabling. “What’s going on?” I asked, heart plummeting.
“Just taking some stuff to Hazelblossom’s,” Vinyl replied, setting the last of the records down and sealing them in the box.
“Octavia...” Mother started, but I cut her off.
“Why?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Just moving some stuff for a bit. I wanted to try something, but his equipment is kind of weird, so I’m just going to rig my own to it and try that way.”
“Let’s eat,” Mother said. I opened my mouth again to argue, but a sharp look from her stopped me cold. She hefted one of Vinyl’s boxes while my friend did the same. They left me in the room, alone, and headed downstairs.
With all of Vinyl’s equipment packed up, true silence fell in the house again. I hated it, having grown used to the gentle thrum of bass at all times of day. My ears dropped as I left the room, clicking off the light behind me. With my appetite suddenly gone, I didn’t have much desire to eat dinner. I placed the borrowed bag of bits back in Mother’s room, then went to my own and hid under my bed covers.
Sometime later that night, somepony woke me from a very light sleep by knocking on my door. They said nothing and I did not respond.
I must have actually fallen asleep some point after that, because a loud bang from the front door startled me awake several hours later, late enough that sunlight streamed through my cracked curtains. I stumbled on drowsy, uncooperative hooves to the window and peered out.
A small carriage sat on the street right outside the front door. Vinyl stood visible around the side, helping load a couple of boxes into it. Being half asleep, it didn’t quite click until Hazelblossom stepped down from the back and walked around to the front, to talk to the driver. Vinyl hopped into the cab, followed by the stallion, and they left.
That was Saturday. She was gone Sunday as well, and only showed up to school on Monday long enough to turn in her paperwork to officially drop out. Even before she did, though, the rumor mill had already started churning, and an unending wave of ponies threatened to drown me in questions. If it wasn’t for Symphonia, I don’t know if I would have made it.
Tuesday afternoon, Vinyl was home when I returned from school. She flashed me a smile when I walked in, which I did everything I could to return.
“Hiya, Tavi,” she said.
“What are you doing back here? I saw you leaving Saturday.”
“I told you I was just taking some stuff around to play around with,” she replied, a wounded look on her face.
“But you didn’t come by all week,” I replied. I felt my voice rising, the stress and quiet of the last couple of days flooding my cheeks with warmth. “On monday, you didn’t even bother to come say hello. I think I talked to every single pony in our, my, school at least once.”
Vinyl flinched back, her ears drooping at the tips. “S-Sorry, I got kind of distracted all weekend, playing around with cables and things. And yesterday they basically kicked me out once I turned in my paperwork.”
“You still could have come home Monday. Or this morning. You were gone all last week, decided to drop out of school, then moved a bunch of stuff out of the house the next day. It really doesn’t seem like you want to be around here anymore,” I said. Pricks of heat burned at the corner of my eyes, and I quickly tried to wipe them away.
“What the hay, Tavi? I’ve just been out doing my own thing, why are you being so hostile?”
“Stop calling me Tavi! My name is Octavia!” Nothing made sense, it didn’t even really feel like I was the one speaking.
Vinyl threw a hoof up in exasperation. I saw Mother poke her head over the railing of the upstairs landing. “What’s gotten into you?”
I bit the inside of my cheek and forced myself to sit and take a breath. “I just don’t understand what you’re doing, Vinyl. You do all these things so fast and suddenly. The stuff in Manehatten, sneaking out, dropping out of school, and now it looks like you’re moving all your important stuff out and staying gone for days at a time. Do you just not like it here with us anymore?”
My anger vanished as fast as it arrived, replaced again by the hot sting of tears. I scrubbed furiously at my face, trying to stop it from happening. Every little thought and doubt that spent all weekend running through my mind forced their way back to the front of my thoughts. It was almost the opposite of my worries as a filly. Instead of worrying about sharing my family and life, I was now afraid she was leaving and it would go back to just being me.
“Octavia, don’t you think you’re being a little unreasonable,” Mother said from her perch on the stairs. “Vinyl has said nothing of the sort.”
“So now you’re going at me too?” Vinyl asked, ignoring Mother. Her own skin flushed under her pale coat. “I get Melody being upset, but now that she’s off my back, you come at me too?”
“I’ve tried to be supportive, but I keep being left in the dark. Nopony is telling me anything; I keep having to find out after the fact. I’m just trying to figure out what you’re going to do, so I can prepare for it,” I countered.
Hearing that she was being ignored, Mother quickly tried to make it down the stairs, but was too late to stop Vinyl. “Fine, Octavia, if you and Melody are going to get on me for every little thing I decide to do, I don’t want to be a part of it. Just so you are informed, I’m leaving tomorrow. Now, if you’ll allow it, I have to go pack!”
Even Mother froze as the last echo of Vinyl’s shout bounced around the entry hall. My friend pushed past her on the stairs, stomped to her room, and gently shut the door. If I hadn’t already been sitting, I probably would have fallen over.
Mother’s wide purple eyes turned to look at mine. “It’s not your fault, Octavia,” she said. “Let me try to talk to her, okay?”
I nodded, numb, as she turned and climbed the stairs. I heard her knock, wait, then knock again a minute or so later. Shakily, I rose to my hooves and retreated to my room, followed by the sound of Mother knocking a third time.
My saddlebags thudded to the floor. I sat deliberately on the bed, too many thoughts running through my head to make sense of individual ones. Mother came to knock on my own door as the sun started setting, but left after I didn’t answer. As light filtering in through my window switched from sunlight to lamp light, my brain finally decided on a single thought to loop as I laid down to sleep.
I messed up.
I laid awake, staring at reflected light from the window on my ceiling. Father would have already ordered a coach to help Vinyl move, because there was no way he would make her do it alone. I wondered if she was trying to sleep too, on the other side of the upper floor. Was she awake like I was?
Did she feel as bad as I did?
Maybe if I went to talk to her, she’d reconsider. We’d both been upset. Now that we’d had a chance to cool off...
There was no point, though. I couldn’t stand the thought of going to see her, even to apologize, after I’d said what I did, and how I had. She’d been calling me Tavi for years and it never bothered me, so why did I yell? Why did anything have to happen like that?
I spent the whole night thinking about our past together, the good times, the fights, everything we said we’d do together. I remembered it all, and memory by memory, let it go. It didn’t matter anymore, I’d been too stubborn and stupid. Tomorrow, Vinyl Scratch was going to leave, and I would never see her again.
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What is a philharmonica, anyway? It doesn't even show up in my spellcheck.
10123544
It refers to a Philharmonic Orchestra, which is a different way to classifying an orchestral group.
Man, in my childhood, my brother acted just like Vinyl here and damn was it frustrating as hell. Like bro, I don't care what you're doing as long as you're safe, just keep me informed so I can help you when you need it!
Poor Octavia. I relate so hard.
Gosh, if only these two nerds could talk about their feelings. Unfortunately, they're kiddos who don't know how to do that yet.