John
I stepped out of the tent and into the morning sunlight. Feeling its warmth wash over me, I moved to stretch my still somewhat alien body from head to stumpy little fluffy tail. Even though I felt the satisfying pops and clunks as my bones shifted into place, I still felt on guard for—
The searing sting snatched at my lower spine as my skin pulled taut across my back. I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my jaw, but a yelp of pain still escaped before my teeth clamped tight.
When the tightness and clenching pain finally started to ease, I let my breath out in slow, ragged gasps. Opening my eyes, I did my best to distract myself by examining the camp. As it had been since we arrived, the camp was a bustling hive of activity. Especially now that more specialists and assessors had clearly arrived. Most notable of which were the pegasi.
They closely watched those with wings, putting them through rigorous testing for if and how well they could fly. From what I saw, most left the assessors very satisfied. The few who didn’t or refused to take part, some declaring a fear of heights like a particular purple-maned bat pony, were stood to one side for further counselling.
Watching it all, I had to wonder, what was everything leading to? There were just so many of us, well over a hundred if what I’d overheard the medical unicorns talking about was accurate. That left a heavy lump in my stomach. And these were only the ones successfully freed during the battle. How many more remained under the control of Sombra and his helmets?
I shook the thought aside then quickly moved on.
Passing another of the larger tents, I peeked inside to see a number of unicorns sitting in rows, most listening attentively to the specialists who were trying to drill the very early basics of magical control into the group of former humans. For a moment, I thought of joining them, but decided against it. My magic was different and probably worked in some completely other way to the focusing of a unicorn.
Outside, just next to the tent, I found more unicorns, including Jacob, who were being put to the test of levitating small objects by another group of assessors. To my surprise, Jacob appeared rather adept at floating the wooden buckets he was instructed to use. Three, four. I quickly counted more. Up to eleven in total. I also watched in amazement as Jacob spun them about in a wide circle before returning them to the ground. A splintering crack announced that he still had something to learn about being delicate. Something the assessor watching him made very clear.
Of course, he wasn’t the only unicorn to be tested. Many performed very well, while some clearly needed a little more teaching in the basics. One who accidentally picked up a heavy metal barrel before flinging it across the camp with unintended ease, smiled bashfully at their assessor; a purple unicorn with a dark purple mane and tail. She looked a little frazzled by this sapphire blue unicorn’s rather unexpected display of magical strength.
A distant metallic ‘tong’ was quickly joined by a shriek of alarm. A cry for a medic went up and I felt it was time for me to move on.
Worse was to come. I stiffened as I neared the tent of the missing. Where those trying to find others with whom they had arrived in Equestria gathered together. It was agony to walk by, seeing those inside looking to anyone who approached in hope that their friend or family member had finally arrived.
Those who had witnessed the transformations of their companions were the first to let their faces fall. They knew what creatures they were looking for and I wasn’t it. The ones who hadn’t, looked to those who came near, their eyes pleading with hope only to have it dashed as everyone moved on. And yet, they were the lucky ones.
On the first day, I had been approached by more than a few who had been searching for a deer. There was August, who was looking for her sister, February. Renzo sought his little sister Tauru. Both had looked to me in hope, but none broke my heart as much as when I had to explain to a rather strong and protective Earth pony named Lali that I wasn’t her daughter Adana.
The look in her eyes…
I squeezed mine shut at the memory and pressed on. I know why they asked of me. I was a deer and I was now female. They had clearly seen their loved ones changed. But I also knew that Sombra wasn’t interested in the deer his teapot had made, so he cast them aside. Wondering what could have happened to the deer who had come before me and not been seen since left me stricken.
I looked to Boo and Cremator as they approached me. I stopped and waited for them. I had been so very lucky. My friends, both new and old, and my sister were all here. We were somehow reunited while others remained apart.
Unsurprisingly, Boo was in her pegasus form. She may have been accepted by two Princesses of this country, but apparently, Changelings were still considered public enemy number one. As such, Boo had agreed to take a less conspicuous form when around other ponies.
As they approached, I could hear them discussing something, but I didn’t quite catch on immediately.
Boo scoffed. “Not like I want to go anywhere near a hive. Not looking for their kind of ‘education’.”
She went so far as to use her feathery wings as fingers to create visible quotation marks.
Cremator nudged her with an elbow. “Not to mention, you’re probably on their most wanted list.”
Boo shot my dragon friend a rather flat look. “Please don’t joke about that.”
At that, I decided to interject. “Don’t worry, William—”
“Cremator,” Cremator quickly corrected.
I looked at her, arched an eyebrow then sighed and faced Boo again before continuing. “Sorry, Cremator likes to make jokes even when they aren’t entirely appropriate.”
Boo nodded. “I am quickly learning so.”
Cremator spread her arms and grinned. I felt a shudder at the sight of her vicious teeth. “You know you love it.”
I sighed again and shook my head. The most annoying part was, Cremator was right. “Anyway, what’s this about education?”
“Higher ups have declared the camp is to be broken up by tonight,” Boo replied.
I blinked at that. “Wait. What? What do they expect to do with us all?”
Cremator interlocked her fingers and cracked them loudly. “Don’t know about you, but I’ve be told to visit the dragon lands. I’m supposed to learn how to be a dragon.”
I stared at Cremator in disbelief. “You’re kidding?”
Cremator puffed out her chest proudly. “Nope, I’m a dragon.”
Apparently, I appeared somewhat distressed as Boo cut in to ease my rising concerns. “I have orders to escort her. Best not to let her wander the world on her own.”
I can’t say it greatly helped. This was a strange world filled with magic and untold dangers. That and Cremator was more likely than anyone else I knew to run head on into trouble the moment she saw it. I tried to clear my suddenly rather dry throat and let out a squeak when next I spoke.
“What– What about Jacob…” I shook my head. “I mean, Shield Breaker and Comet Streak?”
My gaze switched quickly to Cremator then back to Boo. “What about my sister?”
Boo’s head snapped back and she gave me the strangest look before glancing between me and Cremator. “You two… are related?”
“What?” I exclaimed, unintentionally causing Boo to jump. “Oh, no, no, no, no, no!”
Cremator stepped up beside me and wrapped an arm around my back before squeezing me against her side. I winced as the skin of my burn let out another protest. Cremator simply pressed her cheek to mine and grinned at Boo. “You don’t see the family resemblance?”
I struggled against Cremator’s grip before finally managing to break free and shove her away. I heaved out a large breath then looked at the rather confused Boo and said, “Jackie is my sister.”
Strangely, her expression didn’t become any less confused. “The yak… is your sister?”
I swear I just saw Boo’s brain short circuit. “Remember, teapot.”
“Right,” Boo nodded hesitantly. “The teapot. Maybe someone should look into why it turns people into certain creatures. See if there is some sort of pattern.”
She looked to Cremator, adding, “We should probably get moving. It’s a long way to where we have to meet the dragon contact.”
I looked to Cremator then stepped forward. I reared up on my hind legs and put my front hooves on Boo’s shoulders to hold her while making her focus on me. She stiffened in my hold. I simply sighed deeply, looked into her eyes and said, “I just wanted to tell you, good luck. We’re all counting on you.”
Boo simply arched an eyebrow in question then quirked her lip in a smirk.
My gaze moved to Cremator and stared at her briefly before looking at Boo again. I nodded and said, “You’ll need it with her.”
Boo looked at me as if to ask, Really?
I nodded again.
“All right,” Boo said as I returned to my four hooves. “You are the strangest people…”
She shook her head and moved to join Cremator.
I stamped a hoof and raised my voice so I could be heard as they walked away. “You didn’t answer my question!”
“And what question is that, deer sister.” Simply by the tone, I could tell I was being given the cheesiest of smiles. Turning, I came face to fringe with Jackie.
I eyed him flatly and said, “You’ve been hanging around William too much.”
“She prefers Cremator now,” Jackie said, still smiling at me. It felt somewhat sinister how he was so focused on me.
“I know, I was just…” I trailed off before adding, “You know what, never mind.”
I fixed him with the biggest smile I could muster. “What do you want?”
“Can’t I just come to visit my tiny little sister?” Jackie asked. “See how you’re doing?”
I eyed him sceptically. “Sis, one, I’m still older than you.”
“Are you?” Jackie butted in. “Looks to me we’re about the same age now.”
“You know what I mean,” I growled before pressing on. “And two, I know you. What do you want?”
“Me?” he asked, dramatically pressing a hoof to his chest. “Whatever do you mean, deer sister?”
“Stop that,” I said bluntly. I looked him squarely in the eye and said, “I know that look even if I can’t see your eyes.”
Jackie gave a big snort and pouted. Such a strange sight on a brutish looking yak. “Aw, you’re no fun.”
“Jackie,” I pressed.
“Ugh,” he grumbled, his voice drifting into the deeper one of his new form. “Fine. Told get sister. Meet our guide. Go to forest.”
My eyebrows shot up at that, and not just because of Jackie’s suddenly rather stunted speech pattern. My surprise was quickly brushed aside by caution. “We’re going where?”
“Forest.” He tapped a hoof against my chest. At least I think it was a tap. It sure pushed me back a few steps and left another sore spot for me to worry about. “You learn magic. Control plants better.”
I blinked several times at that. “Oh.”
That sounded like a really good idea. I cringed as a memory flashed through my head. Maybe it could mean I don’t accidentally break buildings next time I try to defend myself? I eyed Jackie again. “And who is to be our guide…”
* * *
At least while we travelled with another group of former humans, before entering this forest, I finally got my answer. All the former humans had been split up and sent out into the world with instructors and, in the case of Shield Breaker, an assessor. Oddly enough, most of the gryphons chose to remain in Equestria rather than go mingle with other gryphons. I guess they knew something I didn’t.
I know I felt a little better when I learned that Comet Streak would be accompanying Shield Breaker in his travels. At least we were together, if only in sets of twos.
My eyes narrowed at that thought and I shot the one assigned to guide me and Jackie the harshest glare. I don’t exactly know how withering I could make it, having not studied deer facial expressions much, but it appeared to have the desired effect on Spears.
As I had throughout much of the journey when left to muse on our situation, I kept grumbling to myself. How had it come to this? Scratch that. I knew how. Better question was, of all possible ponies, why him? It was a question I raised as we continued our journey deeper into the forest.
Spears, still seeming uncomfortable around me, stiffened before replying, “It was an order from Princess Mi Amore Cadenza herself.”
“Ha!”
I jumped at Jackie’s surprisingly loud laugh. I eyed him cautiously. His entire body was shaking as he struggled to keep further laughter from escaping. My sister/brother is incredibly weird.
When I looked at Spears again to comment further, I found his face to be a little redder than before. I arched an eyebrow.
Riiight. I don’t think I want to know, even if they are both acting so strangely.
We pressed on, me moving a little ahead of the others. Not like I knew where I was going. I just didn’t want to deal with either of my companions right then. Not that I had much choice.
I couldn’t easily ignore them either as my twitchy ears honed in on every word they uttered, particularly Jackie. Every murmur, grunt and whisper he made caught my attention. I even picked up all but a few of the words which passed between them; most of which amounted to Jackie trying to urge Spears to do something. Whatever that something was clearly involved me in some way as I heard the words her and she a lot, along with my name.
I tightened my jaw as we continued on and Jackie kept pushing and pushing until I finally had enough.
“I am here, you know!” I snapped back over my shoulder at them. That probably wasn’t my best moment as the ground disappeared beneath my hooves and I started to fall. Not that I fell far before I felt the familiar tingle of magic surrounding my body.
With adept skill, Spears quickly had me back on firm ground alongside him. Now it was my turn to be red in the face as my embarrassment at being so clumsy sank in and rapidly grew.
My eyes flickered to Spears then back to the edge of the embankment and the murky… I want to say water, beyond. With my cheeks still burning, I uttered my sheepish thanks to Spears, especially as I remained dry. To his credit, Spears didn’t make a big deal out of it.
Wish I could have said the same about Jackie…
If I had thought whatever he was pushing Spears to do was annoying before, it was nothing compared to the teasing Jackie unleashed on me from that moment on. It didn’t take long for Jackie to step on my last nerve and when he did, I felt something which had been building up inside of me suddenly shift.
Moving ahead of Jackie, I quickly turned and reared up in front of him. My front hooves flailed in the air, even as the scar on my back protested the movement, before I brought them down with a crash and screamed, “Enough!”
Birds burst from the surrounding trees. Lizards and other small animals went scurrying for cover. And both Jackie and Spears backpedalled a few steps as the world in front of and either side of them erupted in a cloud of dirt and thick twitching vines.
“Do you really have to keep at it?” I snapped. With a step forward, the vines moved with me, ripping open more of the forest floor and lashing at the possible escape routes Jackie and Spears might take.
“I’ve spent the last few weeks worried sick about you and our friends! And now, just when I know we are all safe from the guy who tried to brainwash us all, you want to pick up all your childish games and unleash them on me?”
Jackie, to his credit, actually shrank under my withering gaze and words.
“I’ve been doing the best I can to make sure we survive in this world from the moment I escaped Sombra’s dungeon,” I stated. Thrusting a hoof at Spears, some of the vines lashed toward him, not that I intended it, and he quickly threw up a small magical shield to hold them back. “I even got thrown in jail just for trying to help people. Yet you think it’s funny to push me until I snap? At least Spears knows when to back off! But you–”
I caught my tongue as I felt something ripple through the ground beneath me. My vines instantly collapsed. Half a heartbeat later, some of them rose again, swirling and lashing toward me.
I stepped back, my eyes wide in horror. Had I really lost control to such an extent?
As the vines whipped back, circling me, I suddenly found myself surrounded by a barrier of pale purple light. My awe at the sight of the familiar magic was quickly struck aside as the vines slammed against the barrier before wrapping around it and doing their best to squeeze it while blocking everything beyond them from view.
My heart beat faster as the vines wriggled and squeezed. I gasped as a yelp went up outside the vines. A moment later, the magical barrier vanished. When it did, the vines crashed in, quickly enveloping me, wrapping around my limbs and body before holding me tight.
When I could see again, I found both Jackie and Spears surrounded by no less than six deer stags; all silent, all wearing metal helmets, and all glaring at the three of us. Spears opened his mouth to speak but one of the stags shot him a stern look, instantly silencing him.
Into our midst strode the regalest looking pale deer stag I had ever seen. Not that I had seen much outside of common deer back as a human, but seeing this stag, that was definitely not a fair comparison. When he reached the middle of our tiny clearing, he stopped and set his stern gaze upon me. He appeared to study me for a little while, a time in which no one dared to speak.
And, when words finally slipped from his lips, they carried a weight I had only felt when watching royalty in fantasy movies back in our human world. In my mind, this could only be the King Aspen who Spears had talked about earlier in our journey.
“One with so little control,” said the regal stag. “No wonder the ponies requested our help.”
Aspen snorted in distaste at his own words. “If it were not for what information had been passed to us, I would have thought you one exiled from Olenia.”
His stare hardened further as he continued to appraise me. “From what I have witnessed, you are a danger to yourself and those around you.”
My head drooped. Not that I didn’t know it already. Just, I could actually feel the authority radiating from this stag, along with his disappointment.
I watched as Spears bowed low to the stag, even as his words partially clarified my earlier assumption. “Your Majesty. Princess Celestia sent us to you, knowing that your people would be best suited in teaching John your customs and how to control her abilities.”
The stag king’s gaze never faltered, nor did it shift from focusing on me. “You are in great need of training, young doe.”
Aspen gave a small inclination of his head. The other stags shifted their hooves, lightly brushing them over the ground. They didn’t even leave a trace of the movements and, within moments, the vines which had held me, not only set me free, but had vanished entirely back into the earth itself.
I stared at the ground around me, absolutely fascinated by there not even being a crack left in the soil as a reminder of the vines’ presence. Turning to gaze up at the regal stag, I followed Spears’ lead and quickly bowed. “Thank you, your Majesty. That is all I could hope for.”
King Aspen said nothing to me. Instead, he turned his gaze to Spears and Jackie as if noticing them for the very first time. His eyes narrowed as he beheld them. “Those who accompany this doe. I shall grant you entrance to Thicket. However, if you show disrespect for our ways, you will be banished from this forest.”
Spears, still bowing, nodded his agreement. Jackie silently added his acceptance as well.
Even as I watched them, a thought from back in the camp brushed against my mind. Doing my best to sound humble, I asked, “Before we move, may I ask a question?”
The other stags appeared to bristle at my words. Aspen paused a moment later.
“Ask,” he said. “It is how we all learn.”
I nodded to myself as I formulated my next question. “There were other deer created by Sombra and he cast them aside. Your Majesty, forgive my question, but, have you had any recent arrivals? Other than me, of course.”
Aspen stood frozen as if in thought. Some of the other stags looked at each other in question before the regal one spoke again.
“None have set hoof in our forest,” he replied.
My heart sank at his answer.
“Yet, that does not mean they have not trodden in farther reaches.” Aspen nodded to one of the guard stags before adding, “We will send word to Olenia. They may know more.”
With that said, he began to walk away. The guard stags fell into step either side of him as they slipped gracefully in amongst the surrounding trees and underbrush. Without another word, Spears, Jackie and I fell into step along with these deer of the deep forest, headed for a place where I could come to understand more about what I had become.
* * *
Our arrival in the village… I can’t say we were greeted with joy and excitement. In fact, I felt a distinct amount of hesitance and trepidation among the villagers. Many of them stepped back as we approached, some even rushed their young back inside their huts, which actually looked as if they were living inside hollowed out trees. I blinked at that in curiosity then shook my head.
I couldn’t blame them. I glanced at Jackie on my left. With his covered eyes, beaming grin and huge frame, he was a very intimidating creature to be around. Spears strode on my right. His stiff military pace did little to ease the minds and expressions of the deer watching us.
Of course, they reacted like this. We were strangers and we had arrived unannounced. That and they were deer and, like myself, they probably had the flight instinct ingrained into their very bones. Even being in the presence of their King did little to lower the caution projected by those who watched us.
It did, however, help when we approached a half circle of benches which appeared to be untouched by metal tools. It was as if they had been willed into existence from the trees themselves or somehow coaxed to take such a practical form. I frowned at the green leaves growing above the benches like their own special canopies; branches outstretched from the slender trunks at either end of each bench.
Tending to these apparently living benches was a slender deer with a silvery coat. When she finally turned her gaze from her task of coaxing a few smaller shoots to join with another bench, she caught sight of us. She took a quick step back, fear twisting her face until she realised King Aspen was with us. She bowed her head, but kept an eye on me, Jackie and Spears.
“Silverthorn,” Aspen stated, standing as proud as ever. “This doe requires your guidance. Her skill is wild and needs control.”
Keeping her head down, this sliver deer, Silverthorn, replied, “Of course, your Majesty.”
Aspen turned his gaze upon me and my companions. “Heed Silverthorn’s instructions. She will teach you well.”
I bowed my head and said nothing. Aspen nodded to two of his guards to remain before moving further into the village with the rest of his entourage. Once no longer under the gaze of their king, Silverthorn drew herself up and warily eyed myself, before taking several cautious glances at both Spears and Jackie as she stepped a little closer to me.
“Rare to see antlers on a doe, young one,” said Silverthorn, her voice quavering. “Tell me, do you hail from far to the north?”
“Well,” I said, doing my best to hide my apprehension behind a large smile and failing miserably at it. “We aren’t very sure about that.”
“Hmm,” she mused as she sucked her lips into her mouth for a second. “Yet you have our body type. You are a strange one.”
I said nothing. I simply waited for whatever was supposed to happen now.
“Okay.” Silverthorn pursed her lips as she regarded me anew. “And you are in need of instruction regarding the working of plants, yes?”
I nodded.
“How have you brought forth plants before?”
“Uh,” I murmured as I struggled to come up with an answer that could make sense.
“Pardon my interruption,” Spears said as he stepped up beside me. “From what I have witnessed, John brings them forth when under extreme stress and the outcome is violent.”
The glare I shot over my shoulder at Spears stripped him of his grin and flattened his ears. He shifted uncomfortably and opened his mouth to speak but stopped himself.
“Ah.” Silverthorn nodded in understanding. “Emotional response. Not uncommon in the youngest of deer.”
I scrunched my nose at that before thinking about it. Truthfully, I was a young deer, with how new to everything I was, just in an older body.
Silverthorn looked around at the living benches in thought then turned back to me when she was ready to speak again. “We shall start with the basics.”
She then directed me to take on a particular stance, even using her hooves to adjust my position to meet her needs. Then she tried to draw my attention to the plants around us while continuing to verbally paint a picture for me. “You need to feel the life of the plants around you, even the barely sprouting seeds beneath your hooves.”
Silverthorn nuzzled the slender branches of a nearby sapling then gestured to all of the plants around her with the wide sweep of a hoof.
“You can’t just take hold of them and wrench them out like a dragon ripping gems from the earth. You need to coax them, nurture them and guide them to the task you require. But never overstretch them or leave them unable to continue as normal once you have passed.”
She stepped closer to me, a hint of compassion in her gaze. She then nodded at one of the living benches and said, “When done with care, plants are willing to act in our interests, so long as their own are kept in our hearts and minds.”
I don’t doubt the look I gave her when she finished didn’t inspire much confidence in my ability to understand the concepts she tried to weave.
Silverthorn frowned then said, “Perhaps you should show me your method and we will work to improve it from there.”
As if something suddenly occurred to her, she quickly added, “Just try to keep it small.”
I snorted to myself at the instruction. While everyone took a step back to give me some room, I closed my eyes and did my best to do as Silverthorn had tried to explain. Following the order not to push things, I did my best to feel what I had beneath my hooves when I unleashed the vines in the forest, but I felt nothing. Only dirt.
Screwing up my face, I tried harder. Forcing myself to try and will whatever it was I felt in the ground previously to spring forth like before. Nothing. I clenched my teeth and ground them together in my building frustration. I could feel my body trembling as I tried to force it to happen. I had done this before. At least three times. Why was this so hard?
“Jon-Jon?” Jackie said, his tone touched with worry.
I reared up then slammed my front hooves into the ground again and again, punctuating my frustration. “Why! Won’t! It! Work!?”
Two things happened. I felt a ripple in the ground, but it was only for a brief moment. The feeling was quickly ripped away as the scar on my back screamed at me, digging into my flesh and spine with claws I knew it didn’t have in retaliation for over exerting it.
My vision flashed white and I screamed at the agony I had inflicted upon myself. Every muscle in my body clenched, trying to shrink the surface area of the pain. As I willed myself to relax my muscles, I let out laboured breaths, the motion of which drew out further pangs from my scar.
I glimpsed Silverthorn tamping the ground with a hoof. When she looked at me again, her eyes grew wide as if seeing my back and its scar for the first time.
“H-How did you get such an injury?” she asked.
It took a few calming breaths to quell the searing pain in my back before I could filter the alarm in Silverthorn’s voice. It was even longer before I could respond, even through clenched teeth, as I tried to ease my stance. “I was attacked by bat ponies controlled by Sombra.”
I heard a sharp intake of breath from Spears but continued on, cringing out some of the words as the pain bit again. “One of them was– our friend. Another friend, she is a dragon and new to breathing fire.”
I nearly bit my tongue as my back gave a spasm. This was by far the worst attack I’d had since being treated at the camp. “I had to stop her from burning our bat pony friend. Her flame caught me.”
I hung my head at the memory. “It was an accident.”
“A dragon’s flame?!” Slilverthorn darted her head back as if she herself had been burned. With a quick thought flashing through her eyes, she thrust a hoof at Spears and ordered, “You with magic. Carry her. We must seek treatment.”
Without waiting for us to respond, Silverthorn scampered on ahead. I didn’t even get the chance to step before I was swept up and carried along in Spears’ magic with both Jackie and Spears running along either side of me. Our pace barely slowed when Silverthorn burst through the front door of a living tree hut on the edge of the village; Jackie and Spears piling in after her and me without any way to stop from going along with them.
“Ramble!” Silverthorn sounded alarmed.
I caught sight of an elderly doe, one with a lined yet caring face. She ordered me be placed belly down on a bed and Spears did so with the utmost care. Even so, I flinched at the release of his magic and the pain flared in my back again. He looked at me in open mouthed horror as if he himself had harmed me. I tried to assure him otherwise but I don’t know if I did so coherently, so I resigned myself to laying on the bed.
While one of the others explained things to the old deer, Ramble was busy stretching and prodding the scar on my back. The actual words and who was speaking vanished as my back screamed at me to get Ramble to stop. Instead, I just grit my teeth together and whimpered as I endured her examination.
I caught a glimpse of deep concern on the faces of Spears, Jackie and Silverthorn between the flashes of pain from my scar. At least I think Jackie was concerned. He sure was frowning, even if I couldn’t see his eyes.
When the words and explanations stopped, Ramble shooed the others out of the hut before moving about in search of something. I snorted heavily through my nose, simply grateful for her to stop touching me.
Once she returned, she went over what she was going to do and what it would do for me. Much of it went over my head as the continued throb of my scar stole my attention away. The bit where she said she would need to touch my back again, caused me to stiffen at the thought. My scar instantly screamed at me again.
Ramble didn’t hesitate. She simply opened a jar and dipped a hoof inside. It came back out covered in a sky-blue glistening gel, something she quickly touched to my back. I flinched at the cool touch but quickly relaxed.
“I can ease the pain and tightness it brings,” Ramble said, waving her hoof over my lower back but never touching it. Instead, I only felt the slight chill of the balm she used as it slid across my skin, stealing away much of the heat from the scar itself.
I let out a sigh and felt myself smiling as the sharper edges of the pain dulled slightly. Opening my eyes, I looked up at the grandmotherly deer and said as genuinely as I could, “Thank you.”
“You will require further treatment,” Ramble said, still working the balm with whatever method she was using. “But, I foresee your wound responding well.”
When she finally stopped and gestured for me to rise, my back only gave a throb compared to the burning agony it had when contorting it as I regained my feet. Ramble looked me over again, eyeing my movement and stance with a clinical gaze which reminded me of my father.
“Rest now. You can return to Silverthorn soon. Your lessons are too important to be left aside for long.”
I thanked Ramble again before letting my chin rest on my forelegs while the gel on my back did its job of soothing the fire within. Maybe Ramble was right. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt much from now.
Time for a stag party. Someone grab the deer!
New year, new chapter, yey!
So everyone is being taken away to different places to split them all up then. Is there something bad about them sticking together? And why would John even WANT to go with the deer after all that, they seemed like huge jerks. They go and attack him and insult him, then threaten to throw him out and exile him if he doesn't do what they want? I don't see why they qnyone woukd go with them if they introduce themselves by saying "We don't like you."
And I still don't see why jeeping Sombra's slave names is a good thing. Its divesting themselves of the only thing they have left of their old human lives, if they get rid of that they're basically saying they never existed on the first place.
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Starting with the deer. I'm following the path given, which is very limited, of the characters depicted in certain comics. Unfortunately, they are rather against outsiders, particularly those who bring harm to the forest they protect and nurture. Their King is particularly shown this way in the comics in question. The most important thing, and John understands this, is that she needs training or she will, not just could, seriously harm someone as she nearly did in this short. The Thicket group of deer are the closest and easiest reached as they are in the Everfree. This keeps Jackie and John close to the other groups. You will find out where they went in coming shorts.
With the names. This chapter shows that John isn't completely accepting of the decisions of her friends in this at this point in time. The example of this being shown is her reaction to William/Cremator correcting her. Part of why William is so accepting of the name will be glimpsed, but not entirely explained, in the next short. Jacob and Schmidt will be highlighted regarding this issue in the short after the next one. I am still to decide when Jacob in particular will have second thoughts as he is yet to tell me exactly when for it as he has some rather big plotlines/growing to go through.
A lot of what you are seeing right now is set up/world building for things to play out in either arcs 2 or 3 or in certain shorts between all three arcs and the wrap up final short after arc 3.
There is nothing inherently bad about the former humans*. Just their numbers are overwhelming for the needs they require at this point in time. It is also most important to help bring personal levels of control to those who have active magic, ie the unicorns and deer. Is why I showed the groups themselves being given crash course training and assessing. As for the Misfits, Jackie and John were kept together as they are family. They go to Thicket because, as mentioned earlier, John must get training and, like William, needs it from more specialist people than are in Equestria proper.
The groups will be merging again after these three first shorts. These elements must be shown in order to justify later events/actions, but we will be getting to some slice of life shorts for the Misfits after the first three shorts.
* Note - There are some disgruntled members among the former humans, they just have to go through some time in Equestria to really become so. They will be seen, just not yet.
so John Doe is hanging with the deer bros for now and everyone got split up nice.
Also I kinda want to yell at John for obliviousness, yet I see she's still processing the whole species change, let alone the gender one, so I think I can give her a pass on this
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It isn't entirely obliviousness in this moment. John is actually still rather miffed with Spears over the whole getting arrested thing. Trust me, we have time in future to cover it. The list of coming chapters and arcs on my main page is not short and arcs 2 and 3 are to be about the same length as arc 1. So, yeah, lots of time for John to 'wake up' a little.
Also John isn't really aware that Cadance is the Princess of Love.
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I can see where you're going with the deer, its just that King Aspen seems rather hostile for someone there to help, his attitude and statements seem contradictory. Personally I would nope right out of there because it seems like learning how to use his magic isn't the point of it.
Also why splitting the group up completely seems bad is because they just all got back together and they don't have anyone else. That and only two/three of them are "adults" (or at least far enough into the teens to be considered semi-independant) so sending the younger members of the group off without anyone they know seems like a bad idea to me.
I'm probably just repeating myself, but it isn't really the new names that bother me, its how they came about. They're using specifically the ones Sombra assigned them as mind controlled slaves, rather than anything else. It isn't that I think they should only use their human names, but that if they're using new names more fitting to their new bodies they should have different ones. The only real way I can think of that them keeping those "Slave Names" ito not be a bad thing is that they were never actually invented by Sombra per se, but were just the alternate universe/species version of their own name that just came along with them because magic. Just don't have them take names connected to Sombra, I can't stand it to be honset.
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On King Aspen. The way I interpreted him from the comic, something I don't think was a well written story, but that is just my opinion, he came across as hostile to any outsiders especially those who threatened the forest and/or are not deer. He also didn't like being forced to do something by outsiders, especially Celestia.
In this case:
- John using her magic in such an uncontrolled manner was harming the forest as well as potentially others,
- All the guard deer did was take control of it in an attempt to restrain her. They didn't explain it at the time as they didn't believe they had to; their land, their rules and, from the comic, they came across as thinking anyone entering the forest knew their rules already (a large part of why I found it badly written but I am simply trying to keep to their characters in this instance),
- He was being made to take John in and teach her, yes, by request of Celestia. But again, like in the comic story in question he appeared hostile to that,
- Both Jackie and Spears are not deer,
- This is the only time I plan to use King Aspen and the deer of Thicket. I would rather have left them alone, much as they want to be left alone, but needed them in this case,
- I have seen comment that the deer of Thicket act much like elves and, thinking on it, that makes a lot of sense and greatly informs why they act in the ways they do.
On splitting the group. It is a form of efficiency from those in charge. They are well aware of the group's ties to each other.
- William is the most independent and, being the only dragon, was best considered to 'go alone' to get to her teaching. She is with Boo and you will see some of the benefits of that in the coming chapter,
- John and Jackie are together and they are family. This was done deliberately by those in charge to keep them together. They went to Thicket because those in charge could clearly see John needed to learn control over anything else. They sent Spears as he was familiar with the situation despite the baggage attached because they are stretched thin by the number of former humans they are dealing with,
- Jacob and Schmidt are together. Although not family to each other, they aren't family to anyone else. But, they at least knew each other before winding up in Equestria. There are things about this pairing that I am not going to give away until the chapter is posted. They also have a guide/assessor,
- Each smaller group has one of the older characters in it so I don't see the problem in that regard. They also have someone with experience dealing with Equestria,
- They also know that they will be back together after this. If this didn't come across in the chapter, it is because John wasn't privy to the conversations where this is stated and it is a point of view thing. Jackie hasn't told her because he likes to try and annoy her former brother now sister. William didn't say it as she is preoccupied with the adventure of going to the dragons. All of these are character aspects that are coming out in these side stories,
- An example of the point of view thing is, while William picked up names and such in the processing line, John didn't. This is shown by the cameo of Sapphire in this chapter but not having her mentioned by name because John doesn't know it, William does and this is John's point of view.
The naming. This is the part I have already explained and what is wearing me down. I get why you are fixated on it and why it annoys you. Truly I do. But the thing about it is this: it is a major part of the plot of the characters coming to terms with themselves. Part of that is from their backstories which are being brought out in this coming group of side stories in particular. Just remember, there are six members in the group and it will take time to tell those stories in a way which will feel natural, not only for those characters to give, but for the reader to digest. I cannot and will not just dump it all out in one hit, that is bad telling. The only reason we got even a glimpse of Boo's back story at that particular time was because, if she didn't explain certain things about herself, she would now either be dead, exiled or permanently incarcerated. Her race is public enemy number one right now while Sombra is more an emerging threat. It was narratively appropriate.
If you want to see a small dump of it, remember, this is a small dump, it will be in the side story currently titled 'Homesick Boos'. That one will scratch the surface of the original five's backstories and give a little more of Boo's.
Even with Boo, not all of her back story is yet told and it greatly informs her actions. This is the same with each of the other characters, of which, Jacob will be a major highlight. Again, I don't want to just give that all away until he is ready to show it to the world. The characters are people and people need to be comfortable with others before giving stuff away. Being part of the group, the group knows them already. As such, they don't need to force these things out as they, particularly in Jacob, William and Schmidt's cases, are painful memories. They will deal with them in time and in ways they feel appropriate. Boo is the key to us the readers learning these things as she is the group's outsider and will eventually gain the trust needed to learn these things.
As I have said before, the characters have reasons for currently keeping those names, it will just take time for them to fully reveal those reasons. It is also why I am asking to please just let the story play out. These things will come to light in time. I am not ignoring these issues and have them in place to be addressed in what will feel natural for the characters. Could there have been more glimpses in the early chapters if the whole thing had been fleshed out from the beginning? Probably. But, this story has been an evolution. Initially being a stand alone one shot to suddenly ramping up to a major extent. I have had to build some things on the fly while planning ahead at the same time. This is shown in my responses to questions from both you and others in the earlier chapters, especially with my statements as to things upcoming.
A good example is the concept of arc 3, which is still not fully fleshed out. When I initially expanded the base of the story, arc 3 wasn't even a thought, but I felt too many things were left undone. As such, I found a way to address those points while also bringing everything back around to making things ultimately more about John. This had the bonus effect of keeping everything in one published story file instead of the side stories and each arc being published separately. If I was doing this as a major writing project, I would not have done things as I have and it would all have been planned out before chapter one was pushed onto the site. I am not doing this story for notoriety or fame, I am doing it to experiment a little with things I don't normally do in works I am trying to get professionally published while also having a little fun and bringing some entertainment to people.
The life of a writer is actually a very lonely one. Often, you work for years and years on a piece of writing trying to forever improve it then you take the risk of submitting it to a faceless publisher who often rejects it. You mostly get nothing but a form letter in response which gives no reason as to why. Without giving my age away, I have lived this life for years. From something I was keeping quiet in the background, I just had a response to my submitting of this story to Equestria Daily and, while rejected at this time, I can tell you, the feedback they gave me was far and beyond anything most publishers will ever give you. Again, I say most. There are rare exceptions. Note to anyone reading this, they handled this very well. Do not knock the people at Equestria Daily for this rejection. This happens and is their right to reject what they feel isn't ready.
Part of the challenge I set for myself with this story, unlike The Fractured, which I had all but one bit finished before I started posting it, was to post as a chapter was finished and to work from reader feedback. I have been doing that to the best of my ability. While much of the things being suggested by you and others are things I am addressing, they still have to be done so by the characters in a natural way. This is what is taking the time and making it feel like I'm not listening, when truly I am. It is why I have been responding to you and giving such long explanations, such as this one.
In short. Truly, I get it. I am listening. Just it takes time to do things in ways that work with the characters themselves. It is why I am asking to please, just let the story play out. This is the last I will say on the matter of the names, at least until it is actually addressed fully in the story.
How far do you plan to go with this? Because that teapot has a lot of potential. Think of someone that got turned to something like a Yak or Earth Pony and had be a ground pounder while their friends got magic or flight. I'd be willing to find that teapot and try again. It would either turn me back, into something better, or kill me. Two out of three is acceptable odds. The fun would be living with natural born of whatever race I'm trying to escape.
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lol
Hehehe this part never gets old~
The extension is nice, we finally get to see some of the Deer town.
This part reads a bit... odd. Should "water" be something else like gel or ointment? Or did you mean something else?
A few hundred is honestly a small number. Heck, some of the schools I went to had a few thousand (and that's not even mentioning how many attended university around where I live). Talking numbers is always easier than keeping the emotional impact in mind, though. That's a lot of people. Integrating and teaching them about their new bodies isn't the problem... it's always the trauma. I like how John is the empathic type, it's sadly not a character trope I see much. >.>
I can imagine what happened to them and it's not the best type of picture my mind conjures up.
I'm gonna say subconscious desire. That would be at least one thing that would make any sense, whatsoever.
Yeah... that's one of those things that has majorly been bugging me. It's one thing to change species and sex and identity, but... cultural behaviors as well? C'mon now, just because Jackie is a yak now doesn't mean they have to speak like the yaks in the show did. And don't tell me it's because they were a fan of the show, that's a flimsy excuse.
I see how it is. *wink wink, nudge nudge*
Hah! I had a feeling you'd bring the nightelf-wannabe... uh, I mean, King Aspen into this. Despite how much fun I make of him, he is actually a pretty cool character in the comics.
Eh, I would still argue seventeen to be young. :P
As far as I know, Thicket is the only deer settlement mentioned and I don't know where you got that outpost idea from. The MLP comics made it out to be a kingdom deep within the Everfree Forest (besides, Celestia calls him the 'Heart of the Forest' if I remember correctly).