A Magical Issue

by My Little Epona

The Last Straw

Author's Note:

Hello everypony! Welcome to another new chapter of my fic!
Also, you know when your writing an MLP fic when you start adding words like "Cloudsdale", "Alicorn", and "everypony" to your dictionary.
Enjoy!

Chapter 5

The Last Straw

The new Ponyville Library was a small building—recently built, funded by Twilight herself. It was a clean place, shiny with fresh paint and new hardwood floors. Ponies spoke in hushed voices, trotting through the aisles in pursuit of knowledge. It was an extremely pleasant place to be in.

As soon as she stepped through the doors, Twilight inhaled deeply. She loved the smell of this library—old books mixed with new wood and paint.

“Hello, your highness.” One of the librarians trotted up, beaming. “You’re here for the story time, I presume?”

“Yes, I am.” Twilight offered her a smile. “Sorry I’m so late.”

“It’s not a problem.” The librarian offered Rainbow Dash a respectful nod of acknowledgment. “Right this way, please.” Twilight followed her through the aisles, Rainbow trailing them.

“Here you are.” The librarian left them standing in the center of a group of staring children. “Let one of the staff know if you have any questions.”

“Thank you.” Twilight smiled. The librarian nodded and departed.

“Hello, everypony!” Twilight addressed the crowd of wide-eyed foals. “Are you ready to read?”

Amid the general, halfhearted murmur of assent that followed this question, Rainbow took a seat on a nearby couch. Both Rainshine and Thunder were awake now, and she rocked them gently as Twilight began the story.

“Ahem.” Twilight cleared her throat. “The Three Little Bovines and the Big Bad Timberwolf! Once upon a time—” A hoof shot shot up into the air, making her pause.

“Yes?” She asked.

“Whatth a boovin?” A colt lisped.

“Bovine.” Twilight corrected. “It means cow.”

“Oh. Okay then.”

“Yes….right. Well. Once upon a time, in a land far, far away—”

“How far?” A filly interrupted. “Like way big massive all the way to the Crystal Empire far?”

“Yes. I’m sure it was that far.” Twilight smiled. “Can I continue?”

“Yes.” Said the filly, satisfied.

“Okay. In a land far, far away, there lived three little bovines--”

“Cowth.” The colt interrupted, a dead serious expression upon his face.

“Yes. Cows. Now, these cows were best friends. One day they decided to build houses for themselves.”

“Didn’t they live with their mommies and daddies?” A filly asked, frowning.

“I don’t know.” Twilight’s voice was endlessly patient. “It’s not in the story. So, the little cows went on till they came to a big clearing in the woods. They all decided to build their houses there. The first little bovine—”

“Cow.”

“The first little cow decided to build his house out of straw.”

“How do you build a house of straw?”

“I’m not sure. But this little bovine—”

“Cow.”

“This little cow did it. He was done in a single day, and moved into his house that night. The second little bo—cow decided to build hiss house out of sticks.”

“I build houses made out of sticks all the time.” A colt interrupted. “But they always fall down.”

“Well, you’ll see what happens next in the story.” Twilight’s voice hid a tremor of impatience. “The second little cow took a little bit longer than the first one to build his house, but he got it done in a few days. Then he moved into his own home.”

“What did the third little bovine—”

“Cow!”

“Ugh. Fine. What did the third little cow use to build his house, princess?”

“I’m just getting to that. The third little cow decided to build his house out of bricks.”

“He’s the smart one.” A filly said importantly. “Smart like me.”

“Right. Well, it took the third little cow many, many days to build his home. The other two little bovines—“

“Cowth!”

“The other two little cows laughed at him for working so hard. They said he should have used straw or sticks—than he would be done as fast as them.”

“They’re mean!”

“Mmhm. Never be mean to your friends. Well, eventually the third little cow finally finished his house and moved in. For a time, they all lived together peacefully. Until….”

“Ooooh, I can’t handle the thuthpenthe!”

“Yes. Well. One day, a timberwolf came strolling along. He saw the three houses and decided to annoy the creatures living there.”

“He’s meaner than the other two cows!”

“I’m sure he is. He knocked on the door of the first house and said, ‘dear little bovine, let me in!’”

“It’th COW.”

“Right, sorry. The cow saw who it was, and he replied—‘not by the spots on my skinny skin skin!’ Then the timberwolf said—”

“Wait.” A filly interrupted. “In what universe do timberwolves talk?”

“Whatever universe the story is in.” Twilight said, fighting back a sigh. “Now, the timberwolf said ‘then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house down!’ But the little cow didn’t believe him. So he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew the house of straw to bits!”

A few of the foals squealed in excitement. Rainbow gave an amused smile, holding a bottle to Thunder’s mouth.

“The first little cow leapt up and began running as fast as he could. But he had gotten very, very fat, so he fell down, and the timberwolf—” Here Twilight broke off, dissolving into a coughing fit. “Hold on a second, everypony. I’ll be right back.” She stood up and trotted over to a nearby librarian.

They had a quick, hushed exchange, of which Rainbow could only hear the words “children’s book”, “graphic material”, and “protect their innocence” coming from Twilight, along with the librarian agreeing with everything she said.

After a few minutes, the Alicorn returned, carrying a new version of the story.

“Well?” A colt demanded. “What happened next?”

“Next, the timberwolf tripped over the first little cow.” Twilight continued smoothly. “He rolled into a tree, and while he was stunned the little cow could get up and run for the second little bo—cow’s house.”

There were a few suspicious mutters at this turn of events within the storybook, but they subsided as Twilight continued reading.

“He barely managed to make it inside the house and lock the door before the big bad timberwolf got up.” She said. “Then he went over, knocked on the door, and said ‘dear little cows, let me in!’ But the two replied, ‘not by the spots on our skinny skin skin!’”

“And then the wolf’s gonna break the second house, right?” A colt asked.

“Let’s find out.” Twilight said. “The wolf replied, ‘then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down!’ But the two little cows held strong. So the timberwolf huffed, and puffed, and blew the second house to pieces! The two little cows got up and ran for their lives. They made it safely to the third little cow’s house and locked the door.”

“Phew!” A filly sighed in relief. “They’re all safe.”

“Yep. The timberwolf knocked on the third little cow’s door and said ‘dear little cows, let me in!’ And all three replied ‘not by the spots on our skinny skin skin!’ So the wolf said ‘then I’ll huff and puff and blow your house down!’ But the steadfast little cows refused to obey him.

“Yeah.” A colt snickered. “They said—‘nice try, bozo, nopony can blow down stone!’”

There was a moment of silence. The colt shrunk under the weight of many stares.

“Moving on.” Twilight said. “The wolf huffed and puffed, and he tried to blow the house down, but the brick held steady!”

“Three cheerth for the thmart third cow!” A colt cried cheerfully. The resulting explosion of noise caused Twilight and Rainbow to cover their ears and probably shattered a few windows. Several librarians came galloping to the location, trying desperately to calm the overexcited foals.

“Let’s keep reading!” Twilight yelled over the chaos, and it slowly died down. The librarians retreated to their usual duties, looking slightly shell-shocked.

“When the timberwolf saw he couldn’t blow the house down, he decided to climb down the chimney.”

“Like Santa Hooves!”

“Yep. The three little bovines—”

“IT’S COWTH FOR CELETHTIA’S THAKE.”

“Yes, it is, calm down. The three little cows heard him on the roof, and the third little cow quickly thought up a plan. Taking all the chairs and furniture in his house, he crammed it into the hearth to block the way inside. Then, when he was sure the timberwolf was climbing down the chimney, he and the other cows went outside. He climbed on top of the house, and, using a large tree branch, blocked the top of the chimney as well. When the wolf found he couldn’t exit at the bottom, he tried to climb back up, but found that way was blocked as well. In a fit of panic, he broke through the wall into the house, causing it to come crashing down on top of him.”
“Yaaay!”

“He was buried so deep there was no way he’d ever get out. The three little cows decided living in the middle of nowhere wasn’t all that cracked up to be, so they moved to Manehattan and opened a haybuger joint. The end!” Twilight closed the book. “And that’s the story of the Three Little Bovines and the Big Bad Timberwolf.”

“IT. ITH. …...Actually, I give up.”

“No, I’m sorry, you’re right. It’s cows.”

“Now, children, story time is closed for the day.” A librarian came over, her voice gentle but firm. “I’m sure the princess has many other things she must do.”

“Thank you.” Twilight smiled. “Miss….?”

“Marian, your highness.” The librarian said. “Marian the librarian.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Marian.” Twilight said. “As a matter of fact, I do have one or two small issues to attend to. Thank you for understanding.”

Rainbow stood, carefully depositing Thunder and Rainshine into their separate saddlebags. As the two friends trotted away, Rainbow leaned over to whisper to the Alicorn.

“That wasn’t too bad at all.” She said.

“I’m very impressed” Twilight admitted. “You handled your children expertly even while I wasn’t helping you, and Rainshine didn’t cause any disasters. I think you’ve got this all wrapped up.”

Rainbow beamed with pride.

As they drew near the door that lead outside, Rainshine realized they were leaving the library and started up a high, plaintive wail.

“Oh!” While Thunder watched his sister curiously, Rainbow reached around and took hold of the little filly, trying to comfort her. Rainshine refused the consolation, kicking her tiny hooves in the air.

“That’s the cutest thing ever.” Twilight said. “I think she’s sad that we’re leaving the library! That’s seriously adorable.”

Rainbow sighed as she looked down at her daughter. Rainshine met her gaze with tear-filled eyes, then twisted to stare at the lines of bookshelves. Her horn sputtered with magenta magic.

“Oh no.” Rainbow said, alarmed. “Not again! That’s bad! Sto—” She was cut off as a flying book slammed into her mouth, knocking her backwards.

Twilight gave a yelp as more books flew off the shelves, hurtling towards them at an excessively dangerous speed.

“Duck!” She shouted, forming a magical shield that the projectiles bounced off harmlessly.

Rainbow, who’s instincts had kicked in, had back-flipped in the air and landed seamlessly, somehow still maintaining a hold on her children. Rainshine continued crying, and Thunder joined her, while several more books spiraled towards them.

Then, with barely a warning, the bookshelves exploded.

Ponies screamed in terror, running for cover as books swarmed through the air in massive droves.Several dive-bombed random ponies, causing more hysteria. Rainbow ducked under a chair, barely able to fit in the tiny shelter, and tried to calm down her sobbing foals.

A heavy,encyclopedia-type book crashed into the chair, knocking it backwards, and once again Rainbow got a book to the face.

There was a blinding flash of magenta light, and all the books froze in mid-air, raining down onto the floor.

Rainbow unearthed herself from where she had been buried by the “Nancy Hooves” series, trotting over to her friend. Twilight’s horn was smoking, her mane was standing on end, and her eyes were unfocused.

“I’m guessing that was you?” She said.

Twilight gave a twitchy nod.

“What was that?” One of the librarians shouted, getting to her hooves.

“So….sorry.” Rainbow said, her voice echoing through the silent library. “That was me. Well, it was my daughter, that is. It’s...a long story. She’s a Unicorn, and….”

“Rainbow.” Twilight cut off her friend’s cringe-worthy explanation. “Come with me. We need to talk.”

Rainbow gave a nervous swallow, trotting after her friend as they exited the building.

“Look.” Twilight sighed. “I’ve given you all the help I could. Yet still….this happens.” She gestured to the library behind them, the door cracked open to reveal the librarians starting an attempt at cleaning up the mess inside. “I’ve tried. I’ve really tried.”

“I’m trying to.” Rainbow said. “But….I’m a Pegasus.”

“That’s not a good excuse.” Twilight accused. “You could be taking perfectly good care of Rainshine if you were even trying!”

“Woah, Twi.” Rainbow took a step back. “That’s completely unfair.”

“Is it though?” Twilight snapped, then took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “My point is….you shouldn't need my help to take care of Rainshine. You should be perfectly fine on your own. So why are you not?”

“I told you—I’m a Pegasus. I have no idea how to raise a Unicorn!”

“There you go again with that excuse! That’s completely and totally unreasonable!”

“No it’s not!” Rainbow snapped. “It’s a perfectly good reason! My contact with Unicorns has been limited my entire life—I lived in Cloudsdale for Celestia’s sake!”

“That has nothing to do with it.” Twilight insisted.

“It has everything to do with it.” Rainbow retorted.

“If you don’t want to put effort into this, maybe you should raise your child on your own!”

“Maybe I will!” Rainbow took to the air, snapping her tail in Twilight’s face as she left.

Twilight snorted in indignation, turning to trot back to the castle. Her hooves cut sharply into the ground, propelled by the weight of her fury.

As she went on, however, her anger cooled, and the hoofsteps she left in the street behind her grew fainter, until they were barely visible.

She stopped suddenly, staring into space.

What had she just done?

Comments

[Ice Star]

“Bovine.” Twilight corrected. “It means cow.”

Cow is only used for female bovines. I feel like it would be funnier for Twilight to have to resist correcting the kiddo every time 'cow' is said, even when it's incorrectly applied to a bull.