Ch.31 Hot and Bothered..."Let's see where this goes..."
You know, I've never had a guy's night before.
Not that I had anything against the idea or anything. I just never had enough pals to make a real thing out of it. So, when Autumn's troop decided to take me out for a night of drinking, I didn't really know how to react at first. Well, I said, "What the hell? Why not?", but that's beside the point. Plus, after the whole thing with Rarity and Sid's ball-trip candles, I've been meaning to get to know these wackos. Doing it with a few brews getting passed around was just a bonus, as far as I was concerned.
So there we were, me, Zeal, Flash Bang, Gangplank, and Zephyr sharing a round table at a bar, throwing back mugs and shooting the shit. Well, Zeal was drinking green tea, but you get the idea. We all had our own munchies to go with our drinks, like bowls of small pretzels and a couple trays of hay fries for the ponies in the group. Again, except for Zeal. Not that I didn't try. I offered him a few of my pretzels, but he told me he didn't need them. Maybe it's a changeling thing or a him thing. Either way; if the guy didn't want to eat, I wasn't gonna force him.
"You know," Zephyr smirked, one mug in and already looking halfway gone. "I don't think *hic* I've ever seen the boss lady look as happy as when you showed up."
"I think you might want to slow down there a bit," I snorted, shifting in my seat.
"It's true," Flash Bang chuckled. "That doe's been practically glowing these last few days."
"Even her training hasn't knocked her spirits down," Gangplank snorted, taking a pull from his mug three stools to my left.
That- wait WHAT?!
I looked over to the bat pony so fast, I almost popped a joint in my neck.
"Training? What kind of training?" I demanded.
"Combat training," Zeal calmly stated, sipping at his tea. "Specifically, with your kitsune friend and the green earth pony that brought you here."
"Okay?" I nodded, frowning a bit. "Why would she want to do that and how do you know that?"
"I used to be a surveillance agent for my hive," he said, perfect pokerface still in place. "Seeing as my mate's livelihood depends on Autumn's safety, I use those skills to keep her safe."
"Soooooo, you were a spy?" I asked, then took a long pull from my mug.
"I believe that is the common description of my former job, yes," he nodded.
Huh....so I'm at a table with the Equestrian version of James Bond. You know what? Why the fuck not?
"So, how's she doing?" I asked.
"Fairly well," he nodded, proving to me that the dude does in fact have emotions by smiling. "Both of your friends are keeping her on her hooves and letting her grow at her own pace. Given enough time, I'm sure she will no longer need my protection."
"Good," Zephyr cackled, looking like he was about to fall out of his chair. "C-Cuz *hic* thaaaaaaat's his job!"
When he said that, he pointed a hoof at me......then flopped like a dead fish out of his chair onto the floor.
"And he's out folks!" Flash Bang laughed.
"He's got a point though," I frowned, looking into my mug.
Not wanting to kill the mood too much, I forced a smile and shifted the topic a little.
"So, how'd you all end up working for Autumn?" I asked, taking a swig.
They all looked at each other, then smirked and nodded towards Flash Bang.
"Well, damn, guess I'm first," he chuckled. "As I'm sure you can guess, my special talent isn't something most ponies like. Sure, I'd get payed to do a few fireworks shows here and there, but that wasn't how I kept the rent. For that, let's just say, some ponies payed big bits to make big booms. You get me?"
He smiled and winked at me when he said that.
It didn't take long for me to put two and two together for that.
"So, you were a mercenary?" I asked, brows raising.
"Yep," he smirked, chomping on a handful (hoofful?) of fries.
I let out a chuckle at that. Seriously. What kind of crazy cosmic bullshit would have to happen to get me dumped into a world were I'd be taking shots with pony versions of Spy and Demo-man from TF frickin' 2? Seriously! Give Zeal a french accent and he's golden!
"So, did Autumn hire you for a job or something?" I asked.
"Sort've," he shrugged. "I was doing a job for a circus that was passing through Manehatten when she found me. I guess she liked what I was doing, cuz right after the show, she offered me a job as her special effects manager. Paid me pretty damn well too. Thought I'd give the job a chance and I've stuck with her ever sense."
Huh. I guess that's pretty cool.
Sounds almost like a hero's origin story.
I know, right?
"So, what's your story?" I asked, nodding towards Gangplank.
"Nothing too fancy," he chuckled. "Before I met Autumn, I was a pirate doing night jobs in the Wild Tide."
"Really?" I asked, giving the guy a once-over.
I guess he noticed, cuz he chuckled and said, "I know I don't look like much, but my crew and I could really hold our own out there. Kind've had to be, all things considered. Between sea dragons, ghost pirates, and the occasional random sea monster, your crew needed to be as tough as steel just to make a living out in those waters. The fact that we were all nocturnal made things even more hazardous, but that also made the pile of bits even taller to make up for it."
"So you were all bat-ponies?" I asked, chomping down on a few pretzels.
"Most of us were," he nodded, giving me a cocky smile. "But there were a hoofful of cat and wolf-ponies too. We even hired a zombie-pony as a watchstallion once, but he only stuck around for one job."
"There are cat-ponies and wolf-ponies?" I blinked.
"Yup," he chuckled, munching on a fry. "They aren't very common in Equestria, but you'll find a few islands full of 'em in the Wild Tides. A bit more aggressive than the ponies you find here, but still pretty good folks. Don't set off any of their superstitions and you'll do fine around them."
I nodded, following as best as I could.
You're just going to walk past the fact that he said he worked with a zombie?
Yup.
Just checking.
"So, what kind of jobs did you do?" I asked, casually popping another pretzel into my maw.
"Nothing too fancy," he shrugged. "We shipped cargo between islands. For the most part, we were just delivery stallions that worked the nightshift and had weapons. Heck, my main job was keeping the ship from sinking and to let everypony know if something nasty tried to sneak up on us."
"Huh, sounds pretty legit," I shrugged. "What kind of stuff did you guys deliver? Drugs?"
Nah," he laughed, shaking his head. "Nothing like that. The stuff we transported was legal, super expensive stuff that other nobles and pirates would've sold their left kidney to get. The only reason we were trusted enough to do the job was because our ship, The Nightcap, was the fastest there was and was damn-near impossible to detect. On top of a whole bunch of enchantments getting woven into every single piece of the thing, it was painted with a special black paint that repelled moonlight. Because of all that, only things like ghosts and sea monsters could see us and we had "ways" to deal with those."
"Like what?" I asked, leaning towards him.
"Nothing fancy," he shrugged. "Cannonballs inscribed with sacred runes. Bombs that freeze or shoot lightning when they blow. The usual."
"Right," I nod, giving Zephyr a side-eye.
I pointed a paw at him and asked, "So, is he some kind of government weapon or something?"
They traded looks for a second, then Gangplank and Flash Bang burst out laughing. That got me to relax a bit, pulling a small chuckle out of me. After everything I've been through and all of the crap they dumped onto my lap, I was honestly expecting them to tell me that the dude next to me was something crazy too. Hell, at this point, Zephyr could be the fucking King in Yellow and it wouldn't really surprise me.
Gangplank was the first to get his shit together.
"Nah," he chuckled. "Zephyr's a normy."
"Yeah," Flash Bang sighed, smiling. "The only reason Autumn hired him is because Fluttershy recommended him."
"Pretty good call, though," Gangplank added, taking a swig from his mug. "Guy may have an ego bigger than the moon, but he's a damn good stylist."
"I guess I'll take your word for it," I shrugged, calling a waitress over for a refill.
"You should take more than that," Zeal frowned, gesturing to the waitress for a refill. "He did Autumn's mane for your first date."
"Wait, that was his handy work?" I gaped, pointing at the knocked out pegasus.
He nodded.
I looked down at the snoring lightweight drooling a puddle on the floor. I stayed like that for a few seconds, then chuckled and shook my head. Yeah, I didn't know him all that well and he was pretty annoying, but the guy did both Autumn and I a solid.
He's earned at least this much out of me.
I used my Extrasensory to pick him off of the ground and get him seated up properly. The guy barely reacted, but that was fine. Wasn't doing this for the praise anyway.
"Are you guys sure he's not some secret weapon or something?" I asked, giving them a small smirk.
Zeal put a hoof to his chin and in a thoughtful tone said, "Well, he is normal, but his brother-in-law is able to bend reality over a table. Does that count?"
My whole body and mind froze. I mean, I'm pretty sure a hurricane couldn't have moved my fur with how much I froze. In that one moment, I think Brain blink out of existence. When we both came back, I was....calm? No. I was past that. I think I was even past "Done with this shit". It was around that time that a fresh mug was put down in front of me.
I nodded a thanks to the Waitress, downed the mug, and asked for another refill.
I am way too damn sober for this shit...
You and me both. I wonder what the girls are doing with Dahlia right now?
Probably making her pop a blood vessel, I thought with a chuckle.
Brain chuckled at that, but as I prepared to down another mug, my thoughts drifted towards Autumn. If she managed to get these four wackos to work for her, just what other brands of crazy did she let drag off my friend? I chuckled, the booze helping me get over the bombshell from earlier. The second Autumn's smiling face crept into my buzzed mind, that same strange urge to give her something crept into me. Shaking my head, I pushed the urge back and took a long pull from my mug. When the urge faded, a small, worried question leaked past the haze in my head.
Why she didn't go with them?
***
Sid was an Absol of simple pleasures. After his sister's breakdown, all he wanted to do was spend a nice quiet evening with his not-girlfriend. The fact that said sister was resting at his friend's girlfriend's place was a huge weight off of his shoulders. Not that he didn't care about her. It was just that her confession was a shock that he needed a moment to properly process.
Unfortunately for him, he was not the only one struggling to wrap their head around the news.
Autumn paced Wallflower's living room, frustration and confusion switching places at random with each step. The couple watched her with trepidation at the coffee table, both of them ready to spring into action the second they saw a spark. The Kirin barely noticed, her mind too busy pulling itself in two different directions to fully care.
"Um.....Should we say something or...." Wallflower nervously asked, leaning towards Sid.
"Just....give her a minute," he frowned, not taking his eyes off of Autumn.
A few more minutes of pacing passed.
At its end, Autumn let out a frustrated groan and slumped to her haunches at Wallflower's coffee table.
"Are you good?" Sid calmly asked.
"I don't know," she sighed. "I'm just......I don't know."
"Same here," he said with a rueful chuckle. "And I thought I knew my sister. Hope this is the only surprise she has up her sleeve."
"Same," Autumn chuckled. "I don't think I can handle anything crazier than this."
"Coming from a Ponyville Kirin, that's saying something," Sid laughed.
Mare and doe both joined him, the irony not lost on either of them.
"Goes to show just how crazy this whole thing is ," she sighed. "It....really hurt to see her fall apart like that, but I don't know if I can handle being in a herd."
"I...um.....don't think you'll need to worry about that," Wallflower nervously cut in.
She flinched when they looked at her.
"What do you mean?" Autumn asked, a faint edge decorating her tone.
Wallflower gulped, instantly regretting putting her two bits in. Muscling past her nerves, she took a deep breath and put her thoughts into words.
"W-When she had her....episode, she talked about how she didn't deserve to be with him. She likes him, but she refuses to act on it. If that is h-how she chooses to think, then she won't try to be with him."
Sid and Autumn took that in with conflicted frowns.
"I....know," Autumn nodded, then let out a groan as she added, "but that's because she feels guilty about Sandra, not because he has a mate now."
"She has a point," Sid sighed. "It'd be one thing if sis decided to back off because of Autumn, but this is a completely different sack of rocks. If Dahlia doesn't get this all worked out, she's likely going to end up in a very dark place."
"Oh....." Wallflower nodded, a thoughtful look crossing her face.
"Hopefully, Vermillion can help," Autumn chuckled.
"What did she have in mind?" Sid asked, a protective fragment slipping into his tone.
"Well," she smirked. "If everything went according to plan, she's at a love spa in the Changeling district getting the complete service package."
"A.....what spa?" he blinked.
"A love spa," Autumn repeated, quirking her brows at him.
"I...Heard you," he nodded. "I just have no idea what that is."
Wallflower blushed heavily and stammered out an answer.
"I-I-I-I-It's a pl-pl-pl-pl-place single creatures go to, to.....um......"feel loved"."
Sid stared blankly at his not-girlfriend for a minute, then aimed a flat look at Autumn and stated, "You sent her to a brothel."
"It's a love spa," Autumn smiled. "And yes. Yes I did."
"And you said it was in some place called the Changeling District?" he asked, tone still flat.
Autumn nodded.
"So then, that means the place is run by Changelings, right?"
"Mostly," she nodded.
"I see," he nodded. "In summery, you sent my sister to a brothel full of Changelings."
"Again, it's called a love spa," she chuckled. "and again; yes."
"I see," he nodded, then casually asked, "Just out of curiosity, how hard is it to get an appointment?"
A searing glare from Wallflower was aimed at the Absol the second the words left his mouth. He gave the mare a passing glance, then asked something that made the heat of her stare shift into an equally scalding blush.
"Can we make that two appointments?"
Autumn burst out laughing at that while Sid gave Wallflower an impish smirk.
"I-I'll talk to Vermillion to see if she can work something out," she smiled, wiping a happy tear away. "Maybe it will get you two to stop tiphoofing around each other.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," he frowned, raising a brow. "Right Wallflower?'
No response.
Curious, they looked at the mare in question. Said mare was frozen in place, her whole head burning red with a sheepish smile sitting on her muzzle.
Autumn gave him a knowing smirk and asked, "Do I really need to say anything?"
"Says the doe that hasn't made a move," he snorted, raising a brow at her.
"H-How do you-," she sputtered, face heating up.
"Bros talk," he shrugged, grin turning devilish.
Autumn's blush grew, a bit of smoke wafting off of the tip of her horn.
"W-We agreed to take things slow," she sheepishly muttered, staring down and tapping her hooves together.
"I'm not saying that you need to blitz through anything or jump straight into your dance," he chuckled. "But it might not hurt to set the mood for him every now and then."
"Can you....give me some ideas?" she asked, still staring at her hooves.
"I think I can do that," he shrugged, then nervously added, "After Wallflower's brain reboots. I think we might've broke her."
"Yeah," she awkwardly chuckled, staring at the still frozen mare. "We...probably went too far."
***
I hummed a dumb song to myself as I made my way towards home. The night air felt great and everything was wrapped in a fun haze. It all would've been even better, but I didn't feel like getting trashed tonight. A good buzz was just what I needed to get over a few things. That, and I didn't want to wake up with a splitting headache in some alley or something tomorrow. Lord knows what kind of crazy shit I'd have to deal with.
Maybe Trix will summon an elder demon this time. Wonder which sin it would be connected to?
With your luck? Probably lust. Might even have slime-covered tentacles just to really show how much the universe hates you.
"Sounds about right," I snorted.
I took a deep breath, enjoying the buzzed night air. Between that and the chirping of crickets, a soothing lull started to fill my head. It was nice, letting me zone out a bit on the way home. The whole way there, my mind drifted from one thought to the other, never really settling on one topic for very long. It was kind've like I was wandering through a library in my head. At the same time, I was keeping just enough of myself together to keep on the path home. It was....hard to explain how I was doing that, but that was a pretty close description of what I was doing.
After....a few minutes? An hour? Whatever. When I managed to get home, I clicked out of the library and used my Extrasensory to let myself in.
The second I crossed the threshold, I was met with a really.......interesting sight.
All of the lights were off, candles were set up all over the place, and a trail of rose petals went from the door further into the building. At the same time, an earthy-cinnamon like smell was all over the place. It...uh......let's say it was starting to have an effect on me and leave it at that.
Brain; status report.
(dial tone sound) We're sorry, the number you have dialed has been disconnected.
"Figures," I chuckled. "Welp, let's see what this is all about."
Following the petals as best as my drunken ass could, I staggered my way further into the building. At the same time, that same scent became steadily stronger. The....effect was also getting a bit hard to ignore too.
Sometime later, the trail ended at the door to mine and Autumn's bedroom. I....think? Between my buzz and the smell, it was getting a little hard to think clearly. It wasn't like I was high or anything. Whatever was wrong with me felt...natural.
Some kind of ....Ninetales thing? Ugh. Whatever. I just need to.....lay down.
I tried to use my Extrasensory to open the door, but it slowly creaked open on its own before I had the chance. Not bothering to question it, I walked in. When the door clicked shut behind me, I saw something that......(error......error......buffering.......30%........57%...........70%.........96%......100%.......refresh complete) .
The room was filled with lit red candles that did a damn good job setting the mood. Rose petals covered the bed, but that wasn't what made my brain fizzle out. Autumn was laid out across the bed giving me....um....bedroom eyes with red ribbon wrapped all around her body. Her front and rear hooves were bound at the....uh.....I guess you'd call them wrists and ankles. She wasn't hog-tied or anything like that. It was like she was wearing a pair of cuffs. She even had a small red bow tied onto her horn. It was all really cute and.....okay; it was pretty damn hot too.
"Welcome home~," she smirked.
"Uh...thanks," I blinked, trying really hard to...to think. "What's....what's all of this about?"
As I said that, I slowly started to walk towards her. I barely noticed that I was crouching low towards her, licking my chops.
"Nothing in particular," she shrugged, a tiny blush coloring her muzzle. "Just thought I'd surprise you. Did it work?"
I nod, lightly kissing her just under her horn.
"Maybe a little too well," I smirk, struggling to hold back a whole bunch of instincts I didn't know I had. "Are...you sure?"
Keeping her hot smile, she nods at me.
"Good," I sigh, leaning in to one of her ears and softly growl, "Cuz I don't think I can hold back for much longer."
When I pulled back, her blush was a lot brighter and she looked a lot more eager.
"Well then," she smirked. "Do you want to unwrap your present?"
"Yeah," I chuckled, climbing onto the bed, rolling her onto her back as I towered over her. "but I think I'm going to take my time. We've got all night, right?"
She giggled and gave me a nod, her eyes just as beautiful in the candlelight as her smile.
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So glad to see the return of this amazing story. Hopefully everything is okay with you Arcanum. Looking forward to seeing more of this amazing story. Not gonna lie I got extremely excited seeing a new update! Keep up the amazing work!
loved this
Indeed it does
I'm genuinely happy to see and unexpected update and I couldn't be more happier
I don't know whether I would call Fluttershy smart or cruel.
UPDATE?
Well that was a Steamy Ending to a good chapter. Great work on it Arcanum and can't wait to see what happens next chapter
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I am sorry my friend, but I have been waiting for this moment ever since these two were being shipped together, even when they were basically dating.
Thank you for the opportunity. And for making this amazing Story, please continue the good work.
I know I'm mostly a silent Observer, but still you're doing a good job.
It’s great to see this Story return!
Judging by phrase, it's rather Equestrian version of Ien Fleming.