One on One Philosophy with Discord

by CrackedInkWell

Twilight and Silverstream (Part 5) - On Dictatorship and Anarchy

Needless to say, neither Silverstream nor Princess Bookworm was impressed with the Republic universe either. The details about what happened are so dry that they make the sands of Southern Equestria look like an oasis. So, to spare you from being bored to death, I’ve boiled it down to you in a stock and canned it for you.

Basically, after we arrived from the floor of the Senate building, I explained to them that in that universe, Equestria never had a monarchy and instead have created a Republic out of the Pegasi model. Eventually, the borders spread to the point that it covered other lands. So that explained why Ocellus was there on the floor debating about what to do when a mule drops dead while carrying junk around. I ended up explaining to them how this works is that each senator is elected by the ones that they represent in any given region to make laws for them. Of course, it didn’t take long for Silverstream to notice the problem immediately as soon as one of the silver-tongued Flim or Flam convinced them to raise taxes so that they could live more comfortably than everyone else. That this had the same problems as the Democracy one.

So, after we bid Universe: 5739563857210472-96-A goodbye, we said hello to Universe: 8474750363214037-04-L. We entered in by boat. Or at least, having the cafeteria table be the boat lazily floating in the moat. Shortly by being arrested, whacked with sticks and tossed into a cell before any of us could get a word out. Frankly, that’s how you start a story!

“What the hey was that about!” Twilight exclaimed.

I rubbed my head from the recent whacking. “As I was gonna say before the welcoming committee found us. Welcome to the universe where Equestria has a Dictator. By the looks of it… I’d say we’re in said Dictator’s house. Or at least the basement portion of it.”

“Let me guess,” my boss said flatly. “Starlight?”

“Actually, nope. In this universe, someone else had risen to power.”

“Mr. Discord,” Silverstream inquired, “remind me again, what is a Dictator?”

I floated over to her, “To oversimplify it, a Dictator is someone who has been given absolute power from the masses so that they could control every aspect of life from what you do in bed to how the economy works. This universe is an absolutist one, where no opinion, no protest, no speech, no letter, no job, no festival, no food, or anything else is said or done without their approval. And if they don’t approve, it doesn’t happen because they would be thrown in prison or executed on the spot.”

My hippogriff student took back several steps in shock. “W-Why would anyone agree to live under something like that?”

“There are several reasons. One of them being that it’s a society’s way of giving up. They already tried other forms of government, so instead of trying to fix it, let’s hand it over to just one fella and let them do all the work. Another is because the one who got to the top was just so charming and likable that a lot of citizens felt that one should be the one to rule. Or maybe that they happened to have a powerful army. Or that they blackmailed everyone and threatened to show off their dirt if they don’t comply. Or maybe because they convinced everyone that there’s a threat out there that if only they were in charge, they could make said threat go away. Feed them sweet lies that as long as they swear loyalty to them, then they don’t have to worry about problems any more.”

“And what’s this Universe’s excuse?” Princess Bookworm asks.

“How the dictator came to power isn’t important here. But rather, what do they do when they have no one they could tell them ‘No’ to.”

Then, as if out of conveniences from an author that can’t think of any other better ideas, the door to our cell opens up and a guard demands us to move. So, we were led upstairs at spearpoint from the dungeons to the grand halls with a night motif. Even before we reached the office of the Dear Leader, it didn’t take any of us long to figure out who’s in charge of this universe.

Inside the spacious office with black marble-like floors that shine like a still pond at night, a high ceiling with mage lights that twinkle like stars, An arched window as big as a wall that looks out to Equestria in the eternal night was a familiar blue alicorn in a suit behind a big, imposing desk. Luna didn’t bother to look up at us as paperwork seemed to be more interesting than us, or me especially. Frankly, it’s rather annoying.

“My Moon,” the guard that brought us here announced, “these three were caught trespassing on your grounds in the moat. What shall we do with them?”

She still didn’t look up, continue to work, “Is it something that I should be concerned about?”

“You are the leader, My Moon.”

She gave off an annoyed moan, finally looking up. After a beat, she called out for another guard in which one immediately came in and saluted. She pointed to the one that brought us here. “Have this one taken to the wall and shot for incompetence.”

So, the guard that brought us here was too taken away at spearpoint, kicking and screaming. Twilight was stunned by this. And by that, I mean ready to rip this Luna a new one. As soon as they were gone, she turned on her. “What they hey is wrong with you!?”

Dictator Luna blinked, “Come again?”

“How can you just execute one of your own guards just like that?”

She shrugged, “It’s rather easy. He should have taken you three,” she waved a hoof at us “as in you, the trespassers, out to the wall and be shot. So instead of thinking of doing just that, he’s going in your place instead. Any capable guard should know how to do that by now without bothering me. After all,” she looked back down at her paperwork, “I have work to do.”

“What kind of work?” Silverstream asked.

Luna looked up at us again, raising an eyebrow. “You three are not from around here, are you? Do you know who I am?”

My student tilted her head. “Should I?”

The Dictator flinched as if someone had sprayed water in her face. “Yes. You should. I am Luna, Absolute Leader of Equestria, the Immortal Moon of the Night. But curious…” She got up. “Everyone outside of these walls is wise enough to tremble before me. And yet, here I see that there is no fear in any of you. Why?”

Before Twilight could come up with a response Silverstream said to her within point-blank range: “Because I don’t know you. Why should I be afraid of something I don’t know? That’s silly.”

Suddenly Luna was face to face with her. “You had my curiosity, now you have my attention.”

I raised my claw, “Oh! Oh! Pick me! I think there’s a question you two are overlooking. Why, exactly, are they afraid of you?”

Luna the Dictator hummed as she turned towards the window. “Do you see this?” She waved a hoof out, “This land and its creatures? Years ago, they once were under the oppression of a tyrant. One who allowed year after year some catastrophe out of incompetence. The ponies were afraid when the Changelings invaded and sought out for a savior. To which, I took up the task that as long as they swear loyalty to me, they shall have their safety. The more fear there was, the more Equestria deemed me worthy to be the leader.

“Even when the revolution had succeeded me to be Sol Invictus of this land, there were those that dared to question what I bring. And the more that question me, the less power I have. And the less power I have, the fewer means I have to protect them. So, I looked back to the leaders of the past, and one voice inspired me. During the Prench Revolution, Robespierre made terror the order of the day. After all, he put it best as I took to heart.” She closed her eyes and recited, “‘If the element of popular government in time of peace is virtue, then the element of popular government in revolution is, in one and the same, virtue and terror. Terror, without virtue, is disastrous; but virtue without terror is powerless. The terror is only justice: prompt, severe, inflexible; it is then an essential form of virtue. It is less a distinct principle than a natural consequence of the general principle of government, applied to the most pressing wants of the country.’”

“So what?” Twilight interjected. “The only way to combat the villains is to… what? Become one?”

This got a reaction from Luna. Her eyes narrowed at her. “The truth is, that for a nation to be strong, it needs to have a Leviathan. The first rule I’ve learned when it comes to power that, if left to their own devices, the public will always find some way to destroy themselves. They need me. They need me to dangle the carrot in front of their faces and a good size stick with a nail in it to threaten them with. Otherwise, nothing gets done.”

The fumes alone that were coming out of my boss’s ears were burning enough to roast a marshmallow over. She turned to me. “Okay, I get it now what this Dictator stuff is all about?”

“You do?” I asked with an amused smirk. “Care to share with the class?”

“A Dictator is only a bully that is so caught up in the idea with being good that they blind themselves long enough to become the very monsters they sought to destroy.”

“HOW DARE YOU!?!” Luna shouted in her native Canterlot Voice. Now it’s the Dictator’s turn to be angry. “How dare you speak about me like that! I am not a bully! I am not a monster! I am THE Dear Leader of this proud land!”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. It was the kind of look that was taking off the kiddy gloves and pulling out something that she knew would hurt this Luna more than anything. And boy, did she have something that stung. “With a mentality like that, Celestia would be proud of you.”

She’s either really lucky or unlucky that Celestia wasn’t around to hear that.

That did it. Luna’s eyes glowed white in fury and shot a beam at us. Instinctively, the cafeteria table that had my pixelated lunch on it shielded us. Thus, I chose that now was the time to get out of this Universe and move on to something else. With a snap, we were floating back in the multiverse.

But even when pulled out to safety, my Boss was really on edge. Silverstream, being really brave or really foolish, decided this would be the time to say – “Headmare, are you okay?”

Shaking her head, she breathed in deep. “I just… I can’t stand with anyone that thinks like that. Yeah, I know it's not the Luna I know but… what else could I say? I don’t like bullies that make up excuses.”

My student nodded. She checked through her notebook. “I admit, this is really frustrating. Every government we go to they’re all deeply flawed. Why couldn’t there be one where there isn’t anyone that rules over anyone, where anycreature could just take care of themselves?”

“Ask, and ye shall receive!” I said gleefully as the planets below us run by until we reached Universe: 1112324532135639-62-S. “And I can’t describe how excited I am to be here!” I told them, vibrating in my seat. “This section of the multiverse is my personal favorite. As this one right here is actually my vacation spot during the winter months.”

So I welcomed into that Universe by flying saucer, and I, donning a tropical shirt, sunglasses, and a coconut that happens to have a straw nearby, waved a hoof over to the Equestria below. “Welcome ladies, to the world of Anarchy!”

Twilight peered over the open window. “Why’s a good chunk of Equestria on fire?”

“This is a world where there’re no rules, no governments, no one here to take care of you except for yourself. A land of selfishness where the inhabitants are on a continuous quest in search of truth and fun. It is a place that makes those Purge movies look like a trip to Whinnyland.”

“But…” Silverstream raised a talon, “What exactly is Anarchy?”

“It’s where there’s nobody around to tell you what to do, where you have no one to bow down to. So it’s set up to have you, an individual, to have unlimited personal liberty as possible. So, with all that freedom with nothing to tie anyone down, this place is a breeding ground for such entertaining chaos. The kind where I don’t have to do a thing. I mean, just look at it,” we did, and a school was blown up by a barrel of fish. My eyes started to tear up, “It’s so beautiful that it makes me almost want to cry.”

“You’re sick,” Twilight told me, “you know that, right?”

“And you’re just noticing?”

“But, Mr. Discord,” Silverstream asked, “if there’s no one in charge, how does anything get done?”

“When anyone wants to do it. But don’t take my word for it,” I decided to land our UFO near Ponyville – at least, what’s left of it. “Why not take a professional opinion on the subject?”

Deciding to fly this time, the three of them went over to the ruins of the town where there wasn’t anyone there except for the Solar and Lunar Guards. And among the destruction, there was a figure that was celebrating with the army. It was someone that surprised my boss, as it’s someone she knew.

“Victory for freedom!” cried Blueblood. “The last of the hierarchists have been destroyed!”

“Blueblood!” My boss yells at him, thus getting his and the other ponies who had sharp, pointy weapons. “What in the name of sanity do you think you’re doing!?”

The prince in armor looked up in surprise. “Princess Twilight… You’re alive? How-”

“I asked you a question!” My boss snaps at him. “What are you doing to Ponyville?! Or Equestria for that matter!?”

The army turned to Blueblood for something, but he held his hoof up. “You know,” he said, “out of all the things to happen today, I never expected to be talking to a couple of ghosts. But I suppose it is fitting that even in death, you’re able to see what I’ve created. Your kingdom has fallen and starting today, Equestria is reborn in a newly found freedom.”

“Freedom to do what?” Silverstream asked.

Blueblood laughs like a second-rate villain. “Not to, from. Freedom from authority like her,” he pointed at Twilight, “If my time underneath my Aunties rule taught me anything, is that if anyone is under the constant, potential threat of loss of their freedom, then no one is truly free. After all, if all it takes is to be afraid of something that isn’t there, to cause enough paranoia to spark witch hunts; then that is not a society I want to live with where everyone, including us, could lose those precious rights overnight.”

“What?” Twilight asked, and I explained it all to her in one word – Changelings.

“Soldiers!” Blueblood began his speech, “Now that the last authorities are gone, we can finally begin anew! From now on, the sins of the past will no longer haunt us. No longer will any of us fear that our loved ones will be taken away in the middle of the night. No longer will any of us be imprisoned without cause or a trial. No longer will we be silent in the name of safety. No longer shall we be puppets to any crown, president, dictator, chieftain or senator. And no more shall we or our children be indoctrinated to respect authority without question. That obedience shall no longer be granted automatically but earned!

“From this day forth, no one swears any alliance to anyone except their own and who they love. For no one, not even me will be in charge over another. Freedom shall be without restriction or restraint. Let no one be tied down because one happens to be in power – for none shall be in power.”

As if set up for the perfect punchline, Twilight zaps him with enough magic to send him across the valley. My boss, her eyes glowing with rage and sparks were coming out of her. So much so, that the army below decided that this was the perfect opportunity to run away. However, it worked too well as Silverstream was hiding behind me.

“So I take that as a disagreement?” I asked with a cocky tone.

She gave me the ‘Speak another word for the next fifteen minutes and I will find a way to make you suffer for eternity,’ eyes.

So after returning to the table and back into the multiverse, we spent the next thirty minutes to have her calm down while I focused on my lunch. Silverstream kept her distance while my boss had fully cooled off.

“Now then,” I began, “thoughts?”

“I am… stunned.” Twilight began. “Really, I mean it. Out of all the possibilities of how government could work, that philosophy must be the dumbest out of all of them.”

“Oh? Do tell, why wouldn’t it work?”

“Gee, where do I start? Where do I end? Should I tackle the fact that it can’t work because ponies have this tendency of taking advantage of the power vacuum that’s put in place? If he thinks that if you overthrow your government violently and then expect everypony to sing Kum-bi-ya without some warlord taking advantage of that is mentally ill. Oh! Or that maybe… just a big fat maybe – that there’s such a thing as having too much freedom where it interferes and disrupts everyone else. Having to fight injustice is one thing but to just get rid of it all together only makes it worse!” She ended her rant with some heaving.

“Uh-huh,” I nodded, “it looks like you’ve grasped the main problems with Anarchy. Now, what say you, Silverstream?”

We turned to her, “Well… I agree with what Headmare Twilight had said… except…”

My boss’s jaw dropped, “You mean that you have found something to justify that madpony back there!?”

She flinched. “Just hear me out. I don’t agree with him. However, he did hit on one true thing.”

“And what’s that?”

“A ruler, or a government, should always be questioned.” She replied. “My auntie Novo once said that anyone who doesn’t hear the criticisms about themselves that could improve them, is blind. With the others, I’m beginning to see what she really meant. To be a good leader or a good country, there are times when you have to step back and ask… what if I’m wrong? I don’t know, but perhaps a little humility would give all that we’ve seen some perspective.”

My boss and I blinked, surprised at how mature that statement was.

She added, “So, we’ve looked through every sort of government and every single one of them is deeply flawed. Mr. Discord, are you telling us that having a good government is impossible?”

“All I’ve been trying to say on this field trip is that it’s incredibly tricky in reality.”

“Hang on…” Twilight said, “Now that I think of it… there is one more form we haven’t looked into yet.”

Crap. “Uh… What are you talking about?” I asked, my eyes shifting.

“At the start of this, you said there were nine forms of government. If you include our world, we’ve actually gone through eight of them. So there’s one more we haven’t looked into.”

“That’s right!” Silverstream said, looking through her notebook. “Utopia.”

I groaned, “Oh c’mon, do I have to talk about that?”

“Yes!” they both said in unison.

“But I don’t like it,” I protested, folding my arms and huffing like a nine-year-old.

“Well too bad,” my boss told me, “I want to see it.”

“Me too.” Said my traitorous student.

Seeing that if I refused might result in me being turned into stone again, I gave in. Begrudgingly, I transported the cafeteria table over to the furthest part of the multiverse. Towards the very back until we’ve reached it. The last universe of them all.

Universe: 9999999999999999-99-Z.

Sigh…

I’m so going to hate this part.

Author's Note:

To be Continued...

Comments

[Venerable Ro]

Well there's also Deiocracy, rule by one or more immortals. That's what Equestria has actually had for the past two thousand years or so, enjoying the stability of an unchanging ruler who continually gets better at their task as they amass experience. It does tend to cause cultural stagnation though, Immortals are generally very bad at altering their routines/opinions, and the citizenry will insist on emulating their unchanging ruler.

[CrackedInkWell]

9897871
Now I wonder what other nation in the real world that isn't imaginary would fit that description?

[Perpetually Confused]

9897874
China for one. Those blokes made automatons, gun powder, and I believe unless I'm mistaken means of seismic measurement but were so bogged down in tradition that sort of thing became a side show then anything

[ShadwSonic]

I'm pretty sure Utopia isn't a type of government. Rather, it's one that takes Anarchy and removes all the factors that screw it up. Thing is, one of those is the sin nature in all sapient species, and thus isn't possible outside of divine intervention (as in omnipotent deity, not anything even Discord could live up to). Every attempt that seems to work otherwise accomplishes it by suppressing the population's minds, at which point we're back to Evil Dictatorship.

[Dashie04]

Oh boy, I have deep-rooted feelings against Anarchism. Anarchism, to me, is absolutely absurd.

So, it’s basically Communism without a government, and that’s not how anything works. Some one is going to have to step up and become the government in order for the Communism to work, because people don’t share. Then, those people would riot against the government that they created and try to create a new Anarchist state, which will fall apart exactly the same!

There’s a reason the word ‘anarchy’ has become synonymous with ‘chaos’.

[CrackedInkWell]

9909765
Why do you think it's Discord's favorite?

[Dan]

Alan Moore made some good points about anarchism (a.k.a. "The Land of Do-As-You-Please") that didn't make it into the movie.

Also, https://existentialcomics.com/comic/247