One on One Philosophy with Discord

by CrackedInkWell

Twilight and Silverstream (Part 3) - On Imperial Empire

The next place was Universe: 2543204659482160-49-T and coming down from the sky in a floppy helicopter, the first thing we’ve noticed right off was that Ponyville seemed to be replaced by a big, imposing, forbidding palace.

My boss looked at me confused. “Discord? What’s going on here?”

“Welcome to the universe where Equestria as you know it has fallen centuries ago.”

“Fallen!”

“Yes,” I stroked my goatee, “and if I remember right, this universe is where the Griffon Kingdom never fell, but became more powerful and invaded Equestria. Not to mention winning and establishing its capital right here.”

“So, Mr. Discord?” Silverstream asked, “What sort of government does this one have?”

“This one we’re coming down to is something called an Imperial Empire.”

“So like the Crystal Em-”

“No, a real empire,” I corrected her. “One that has an actual emperor, one who decides the fate over other nations and colonies. Oftentimes gaining power through conquest or just controlling most of the goods that go in and out.”

“Halt!” Right then, we were surrounded by armed griffons in cumbersome armor carrying long spears. “You are in restricted airspace! Identify yourselves and land immediately!”

Ah, the welcoming committee. “Good afternoon, gentlegriffs,” I said, pulling out a black wallet, “I know this is last minute, but we do have business here.”

“Let me see that!” one of the guards flew over and snatched the wallet. After giving it a once over, the guard looked up in surprise. “Oh! Lord Discord, forgive us, we didn’t know that you were coming today.” He bowed, giving the wallet back. “It’s alright, let’s take them to the Forbidden City.”

From there, it was smooth canoeing. Twilight asked me on the way down, “What did you show them?”

“Oh, this thing?” I held up the wallet, “I may or may not have pick-pocket some doctor a good thousand years ago. Turns out, it has this paper in which allows me to show the weak-minded whatever I want them to see.”

“Let me see that,” my boss took the wallet and opened it up. “But there’s nothing on it.”

“Like I said, for the weak-minded,” I said, snatching my wallet back, “the thing is rather defective when it comes to smart ponies, I’m afraid.”

“Mr. Discord,” my student inquired, “what exactly did you just do?”

“I just gave all of us clearance to see the Emperor.”

Soon we landed and I must say, this place makes Canterlot look like a backwater town. With high walls, red tile roofs, the golden seal of the Griffons, and plenty of guards around. Leaving the cafeteria table behind for now, we walked through city block after city block sized courtyards, under tunnels, and across important looking buildings. We passed by carved statues and carvings, glazed tiles with complex designs, and lots of red and gold everywhere.

No sooner had I thought of bringing some hiking shoes given the vast amount of distance we were walking then we finally reached the final big courtyard. Unlike the previous ones where most of them were almost empty, this final one was packed full to the brim with all sorts of creatures in robes, each holding a scroll. If anything, the long line looked like how ponies would stand at the post office on Hearths Warming Eve. A mile-long line that snaked its way around the courtyard that lead up towards a smaller but still very important looking building in the middle. Fortunately, the guards let us be, our fast pass allowing us to just cut the line and head towards the very end of it.

Up a small flight of stairs and past a screen of yellow silk, we entered into what looks like a throne room. Then we saw him, there on a golden throne (well, more like a couch really) was a familiar-looking griffon in a yellow robe – asleep. Next to him, a hippogriff, made of white feathers and some light green ones on top of his head (from what I could see from his uniform) stood, listening to a pony that looks suspiciously like Blueblood reading out a proposal.

“…. And that’s why a good chunk of bits should go into my mansion.” He finished before bowing.

The hippogriff elbowed the Emperor awake. “Huh? Wha?” The Emperor blinked, “Uh yeah, whatever.” He said before falling back asleep.

While the Blueblood look-a-like was giddily going over to a table to get that stamp of approval, I looked down to where I found my student gawking. “What?”

“Is that Gallus?” She asked, “And is that Terramar?”

“Who?” I asked.

“My brother.”

Oh yeah… I guess we all forgot about him, huh?

The brother took notice of us, “Silverstream?”

“Huh?” Emperor Gallus was stirred awake, “is it over yet?” He asked, rubbing his eyes. Then after blinking a few times, he pointed at us, “Who’re they?”

“Lord Discord,” a guard tells him, “he’s because he has an invitation from you.”

“Oh…?” Then something clicked in him, “Oh!” He leapt out of the couchy throne. “Wow, you came quicker than expected. The party isn’t until a couple of days from now.”

“Well, you know,” I improvised, “trying to beat the crowds, and having to sleep in a tent in long lines is always a pain. Best to get here early before it gets really overcrowded, you know what I mean?”

“Oh sure,” the Emperor said. He paused as he noticed the long lines of petitioners, “Uh… we’ll continue this tomorrow!” There was a disappointed groan that echoed in and outside the throne room. Gallus came up to us, “So who’re the concubines?”

“Excuse me!” Twilight was taken aback by this.

“Oh I’m only here to teach them,” I told him, “they’re not my bed toys at all.”

“Silverstream?” At this point, the other hippogriff came up to us, “What are you doing here?”

Gallus raised an eyebrow, looked between him and my student, “You know each other?”

“That’s my sister, Your Imperial Highness.” The one called Terramar said, bowing.

“Huh, there it is then,” he waved a claw. “Anyway, since you’re here, Lord Discord, how about I give you and these ladies a special sneak peek of the party coming up?”

We followed Emperor Gallus out through a back door and into even more courtyards and hallways. This time around, there were even more guards that watched our every move. “So, Ga- I mean, Your Highness?” Silverstream started.

“Oh please, we’re in the private corner of my palace,” he said, draping an arm around my student, “you can drop the formalities here and just simply call me Gallus.”

“Uh-huh… So Gallus, how long have you been emperor?”

He rolled his eyes, “Since my father died, of course. And have been for the past six years.”

“You’ll have to forgive them,” I told him, “these two come from very far away and are curious about you and how this empire thing works.”

He shrugged, “You tell me.”

Both my boss and my student blinked, “You mean you don’t know?” Twilight questioned.

“Well… it’s not that I don’t know what role I have. After all, I am Gallus, Emperor of the Middle Kingdom and sovereign of many nations under Heaven. Son of the Gods, ruler of ten-thousand years, bla, bla, bla… I could go on, but you get the idea of the job description I have.”

“So you’re king, then?” Silverstream asked.

“Oh no no no!” He stopped, waving his talons. “Not like that at all! I mean, yes, I am technically a king. But I am much more than that.”

“I don’t follow.”

“Well, a king only rules over a specific patch of land, understand?” She nodded. “But an emperor, he doesn’t just have dominion over one piece of land, but dozens of them. That’s why I’m emperor, I rule over many, and from time to time have my armies go out to get some more land when needed.”

“But if you already have a good chunk of land,” Twilight questioned, “why would you want to have more?”

“Simple, we uh…” he scratched his head, “Terramar, you tell them.” He commanded, turning around and continuing on our walk.

“Uh, yes,” my student’s other brother cleared his throat, “it’s quite simple really, part of it is to make sure the military has something to do, partly to ensure the Empire’s safety and partly to force open trade when it wasn’t possible before.”

“Yes, that’s it!” Gallus snapped his talon, “I knew there was a reason!”

We followed them until we reached a garden. Fortunately, however, this garden wasn’t your typical kind. While it’s clearly still being set up with servants going about tasks like dumping barrel after barrel of strawberry soda into a lake, setting up a forest of beef jerky, planting grass made out of minty candy, and raking in dirt made out of crushed chocolate cookie crumbles. I must say, this guy has good taste.

“What is all this?” My boss asked, waving a hoof at everything.

“This is what I’m really excited about!” Emperor Gallus said, smiling. “This here is the basis of my next party. Where here, everything in this garden will be edible! Isn’t that incredible! Just imagine it! The grass is edible, the trees, the lake, the rocks, even the dirt is all a tasty delight! But I’m not gonna stop there! Not only that, but everything at the banquet too will be edible from the tables, the cloth, candlesticks, plates, you name it, everything will all be edible!”

“Okay…” Twilight nodded, intrigued. “As impressive as that sounds, why are you doing this for?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Gallus waved his claw at the garden, “This is to show off to those leaders of the kingdoms that are coming here. To show them how wealthy this empire is and how rich its resources are. Everything here in this garden will have something from the other provinces. From fish from our seas, the fresh herbs from the mountains, sugar from its plantations, the fruits from its farms, pretty much everything here will be gathered from the furthest reaches of the empire. All here, to show what immense power and wealth we have at our disposal.”

“So you’re doing this to show off?” Silverstream asked.

“Yep! One of the things you learn when you’re in power is that he who has the most stuff wins. Now then,” he said as he started walking towards the forest of meat, “if you’ll excuse me, there’s a tasty bark of beef with my name on it.”

While the Emperor goes off I looked down at my student and boss. Already their faces have a Sweet Apple Acres worth of questions. However, before they could start asking away, there was a noticeable “Psst!” coming from a corner of one of the buildings. We looked over, and Smolder is waving at us to come closer.

Silverstream’s brother sighed in relief and he ushered us to the conspirators’ corner.

“Lord Discord?” the other Smolder in armor asked, “What are you- you know what, never mind, your timing is perfect.”

I raised an eyebrow, “ For what? Apparently, we’re way early for the party.”

“No, it’s not that, we…” she looked at my student and boss, “Who’re they?”

“They’re friends of mine,” I told them, “and this one is his sister,” I added, pointing at the other hippogriff.

“You may speak freely with them,” Terramar said. “What news do you have, general?”

“Well, that depends, do you want the good news or the bad?”

He sighed, “Start with the bad.”

“Bad news, the attempted invasion into northern Zebrica has been a disaster.”

“I knew it… what’s the good news?”

“Well, that rebellion in Manehattan has been put down with hardly anycreature hurt. So, what’s new with you?”

“Oh you know, correcting petitions, bribing the other eunuchs, trying to balance the taxes, keeping him happy,” he pointed a thumb towards the Emperor, “the usual.”

“Hold on…” Twilight looked between him and Smolder. “Why do you talk as if you’re the ruler?”

Both Smolder and Terramar looked at one another for a moment. “That’s because I kinda am.” The hippogriff said.

“So wait,” Twilight rubbed her hooves over her temples, “are you saying the Emperor is a figurehead?”

“Huh… yes and no.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean, he still has plenty of power, no doubt about it. However... since the death of the last Emperor, Gallus is just… well…”

“The Emperor has no clue,” Smolder said bluntly.

“Wait, I’m confused,” Silverstream lifted a claw, “Terramar, what are you supposed to be again?”

He tilted his head, “You mean… you don’t know? I could have sworn I’ve sent letters to explain.”

“Hey, a little refresher wouldn’t hurt,” I said, conjuring up some of my pixelated lunch.

The hippogriff brother sighed, “Very well… In short, I serve the Emperor as the chief Eunuch, especially after… well… the invasion. It took a while to work my way up to this point, but I got to the point where I’m not only his most trusted adviser but probably the only one in this court that knows what he’s doing.”

“You got that right,” General Smolder remarked, folding her arms. “Unlike the last Emperor, that at least took his job seriously, the current one… doesn’t. I mean, do any of you have any idea how often we had to step in to make sure that the army is happy and prevent the Empire from going to pieces? A lot, that’s what!”

One hasty shush from Terramar later, Silverstream asked what a Eunuch was. At this point, my boss pulled her ear to her muzzle to whisper an explanation. From there, my student’s expression changed from curiosity to disgusted horror. So much so, that she lifted a claw to cover her jaw-dropped beak. “Oh my…” She hugged her other brother, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he said, patting her back. “I made this choice so nogriff would have to. Really, things have changed for the better. Besides, it’s the only way I could serve in this court.”

“Why’s that?” My boss inquired.

“The Emperor and the male members of his family are the only ones to be… well… fertile in the court.” Smolder explained. “I guess the whole idea is so that if anyone here gets pregnant it would be a clear sign as to who’s the father. Ya know, bloodlines and all that.”

I cleared my throat, reminding them to get back on topic.

“Right…” Silverstream pulled away from her other brother. “So… if you really run things, how do you do it behind the actual Emperor’s back?”

“First off… going behind his back would mean that he doesn’t know we’re doing this for him.” Terramar explains: “In truth, he knows already but doesn’t care as long as he spends the least amount of time doing it himself. The only reason that we’re trying to keep this a secret is so that the rest of the court would think that the Emperor is doing his job. Secondly, it’s quite simple, really. At night I take one final look at those petitions and if I have to… override a few of them. Since the Emperor isn’t interested in governing, I have to control the bureaucracy through paperwork essentially. To look at the fine print such as when to raise or lower taxes, which individual should look over cities, ease up or tighten trade, I could go on. But the only thing I can’t touch is the Emperor’s decrees. I may control the policies, but even then, some things won’t be approved without his consent.”

“Yeah,” General Smolder nodded, “and I had to make sure that the army is given something to do. If it isn’t conquest to worry about, it’s also suppressing rebellions, acting as a police force, things like that.”

“Okay…” Twilight mused over for a moment before asking, “So if Gallus isn’t interested in being the Emperor, why doesn't he step down and let someone else take over?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Smolder asked, “It’s because of the heavenly mandate, that’s why.” My student asked what that was. “Basically, the Emperor is the Emperor because the gods said so since the first Emperor had said so. And ever since then, that title is passed down from father to son because… leadership is inherited apparently. If you’re born into it, you can’t just simply step down. The only way to do that is if an army from another kingdom successfully overthrows you, or if heaven itself makes some pretty strong signs that you should stop. So, until then, we’re stuck with the Emperor who uses the time to listen to petitions for naps and throwing expensive parties at the Empire’s expense. I swear, if he keeps this up, he might spark a revolution too big for even us to deal with.”

“I admit, it’s even a challenge for me to justify the budget.” Terramar rubbed the back of his neck.

“Any other questions?” I asked my student and boss.

The two of them thought it over for a minute until Silverstream inquired: “So… if it’s just you doing all the government work, what is the point of an Imperial Empire?”

Terramar hummed in thought. “Honestly? I think the real reason for the conquests is so that we have resources from different parts of the globe to keep us rich, and partly to maintain a status quo so as to prevent war with different regions. I admit, from what I’ve contributed, not only have I been making efforts to strengthen alliances between us Hippogriffs with Ponies and Griffons, but Dragons, Yaks, Buffalos, Changelings, and Crystal Ponies as well. That we all have something in common, otherwise, we’d only have war.”

“Ah… the Leviathan argument.” I sighed. Everyone looked at me as if they didn’t know what I was talking about. They didn’t, so I had to tell them. “It’s an idea pioneered by Hobbes. Basically, the idea is that the reason why governments started was that in the beginning, life before any laws, kings, or anyone of authority was, in his words, ‘nasty, brutish and short.’ So as a direct result of this beautiful chaos, many of them turned to strong authority figures that promised that they could protect them - for a fee. ‘Living affairs,’ as he puts it, ‘cannot be without some inconvenience.’ After all, ‘If one could rule themselves, they would have no need at all of a common forcible power.’”

“Exactly,” Terramar nodded. “While the Emperor may not be fit to rule, the idea of what he represents to those outside of these walls is essential for keeping the Empire together. That is why it’s our job to keep up with the illusion that order is kept like the rise and fall of the sun.”

As things looked as they are wrapping up, just like my portion of my censored lunch, I had us teleported back over to the cafeteria table and back into the multi-verse. “So, thoughts on this world?” I asked them.

Silverstream looked at her notes. “It looks to me that an Imperial Empire is made to keep its subjects united, but I think there’s a serious flaw with it.”

“You mean the whole inherited power thing?” My boss stated the obvious.

“Yes,” I nodded, “now can you see why somepony like say… Blueblood isn’t going to be given the reigns to Equestria in our world?”

“Yeah… Besides, that Empire model would only work if the leader is confident and knows what they’re doing with that sort of responsibility. From what I could see of this Gallus… I can’t honestly see a world like that run for very long.”

“But to be fair,” Silverstream pointed out, “it’s clear that Gallus wasn’t given any choice, unlike you. He was born into it by chance… which I guess sums up why it wouldn’t work if whoever comes after him would be the same. But what would one be like if there was a monarchy of some kind, but have a group that was elected by the subjects?”

“Oh, you mean a constitutional monarchy?” I asked and grinned, “How about we take a look?”

Author's Note:

To be Continued...

Comments

[ShadwSonic]

9834964
That's the "hobby" part of the image, silly! I couldn't just post a cross by itself and call it a day!

[Azaclop]

Gallus took one look at the line delineating "ruler" from "crazy Roman emperor territory", backed up, and took a running jump over it.

[Ri2]

9836669
At least he hasn't set his city on fire for a good violin backdrop.

[Dashie04]

Technically, Equestria is also a monarchy, but most people argue that it’s more akin to a benevolent dictatorship, so I guess Twilight and Silverstream might have experienced the bloodline idea, but I highly doubt it.

[Julian the Dreamer]

9909658
When you are ruled by a long lived ruler Like Celestia, I don't think you bother to think about succession.

She's like the sun to the ponies: always there. Which has it's own problems, but that's another theme.