S6 18: Dungeons and Discords (What If?)
Fluttershy was busy packing up things for a trip, a trip she'd just found out about a short time ago. As such she was most surprised when Discord of all creatures happened to drop by for one of his unscheduled visits. "Tea?" He offered, producing a gasp from his oldest and closest friend.
Discord quickly scanned over the various objects strewn about the cottage. "Trendy coats? Bedrolls? Saddlebags? Oh! A surprise vacation just for the two of us? How thoughtful of you, Fluttershy. May I make a suggestion? I hear Puerto Caballo is lovely this time of year. Sand like powdered sugar." He picked up some sand while dressed in an outfit one might expect if you were going to the beach, complete with sunglasses. He then blew the sand, causing Fluttershy to cough.
Fluttershy tried to put what she was about to say as delicately as possible. "Um, it's not for the two of us, Discord. Princess Celestia's taking the six of us on an overnight goodwill tour of Yakyakistan. I actually just found out."
Discord frowned. "Really? You're not taking Spike with you? Or what about that new friend of yours? Starlight what's-her-face?"
"Starlight Glimmer, and she wasn't interested. Neither was Spike," Fluttershy explained. "I'm really sorry you had to find out like this, Discord."
The spirit frowned anew and shrank down briefly with a gasp. "So what you're saying is 'no tea'? Ugh," He cleared his throat and returned to normal. "Er, that's... fine. I wasn't really thirsty anyway."
As Fluttershy resumed packing she suggested to her friend. "If you're looking for something to do, you could spend the evening with Spike and Big Macintosh."
Discord laughed. "Oh, that's a good one! You had me going there for a moment!" When Fluttershy didn't laugh with him he slowly realized that she was being serious. "Oh, you're not kidding. You actually think I'd do that?"
"Why not, it would be a nice change," Fluttershy suggested. "Give you a chance to make some new friends. Heck, Spike and Big Mac, they've got their own 'top secret' thing they like to do whenever the rest of us leave Ponyville," Then she giggled. "Although if we're being honest, everyone knows about it so it's not really a secret. We just like to humor them."
The spirit only remarked. "So I see."
Fluttershy added as she finished packing. "You should give it a chance, I think you'd have fun."
At that Discord remarked quite stubbornly. "Fun? With sidekicks? Oh, you must think that we're in a dimension where everything is opposite," He proceeded to snap his paws, bringing about just such a dimension (which also had an echo to it). "Da-dee-la! I'm Opposite Discord, and I want to hang out with Spike and Big Mac! I'm sure I'd have fun!"
Fluttershy suddenly fluttered up and shouted. "Oh yeah?! Well, guess what, Sassafras?! I'm Opposite Fluttershy, and I'm sick of being nice and quiet all the time!"
Discord proceeded to snap his paws again and bring everything back to normal. Fluttershy seemed surprised by her sudden outburst. "Look, Fluttershy, I appreciate the gesture but it's all I can do just to be friends with the rest of your pony friends. I haven't even really gotten to know Starlight," He explained. "Spike and Big Mac? I don't even know the first thing about them, other than the fact that they're guys, and that one of them doesn't talk much, and the other is Twilight's adopted son."
Fluttershy smirked. "Seems like you already know a lot about them, Discord. I really do think you'd like their 'top secret' event," Then she added. "Unless you're afraid they won't like you?"
The spirit groaned. "Oh, please. Don't stoop to tedious reverse psychology. You're better than that."
"What can I say? I learned from the best." The pegasus replied with a giggle.
Discord simply sighed, his entire body starting to droop. "Oh, all right, if it'll make you happy. Consider it considered."
"Great!" Fluttershy declared. "I'll let them know. Make sure to show up at Twilight's castle at sundown, don't be late."
"'Twilight's castle, sundown'," Discord wrote down the details on a small sketch of paper. "Hm, interesting, I think I can make room in my schedule for... whatever it is." He proceeded to toss out a random book full of pages, on it was written the names of various ponies and included some unusual nicknames for the princess "'Little Lulu' for Luna and 'KK' for Celestia".
But no one could've imagined that Discord's personal invitation to Spike and Big Mac's 'secret' would not only add to it but also bring it to life in a way no one could've imagined. And by the time it was over, all three were going to be drawn closer together.
The six mares boarded the train for Yakyakistan and departed with little fanfare, despite a bit of not so subtle teasing from Twilight and Applejack about Spike and Big Mac's 'secret' get together.
"Well, guess we'd better get everything ready for tonight," Spike told Big Macintosh after the train left. "Just hope Discord doesn't mind the activities."
Hours quickly passed, and as the sun set off to the west Spike and Big Macintosh had gathered in Twilight's castle. Starlight yawned as she trotted past them. "Think I'll call it an early night, Twilight says my studies are suspended while she's in Yakyakistan." She commented. Of course, Spike and Big Macintosh knew that this was her not so secret cue for them to start holding their "secret" get together.
Spike rushed to a nearby window, watching as the last of the sun's rays disappeared into the gleaming twilight. "3, 2, 1, and... we have sundown. Repeat, we have sundown," He rushed back to the main hallway of the castle. "I hereby declare tonight's guys' night ceremonies officially open!"
"Eeyup!" Big Macintosh happily shouted. And he and Spike began to chant (or rather, Spike chanted and Big Mac just said "Eeyup."): "It's guys' night, oh yeah! Havin' fun now, oh yeah!"
But just as they had finished their chant, the sound of trumpets blaring in dramatic fanfare caught their attention. They ran to the front of the castle, where the sound was coming from. And they could not believe the sight that greeted their eyes. "Uh, what the hay?" Spike commented out loud. Big Mac said nothing.
As the trumpets ceased their playing, a miniature version of Discord came running up with a scroll in his paws. After taking a moment to catch his breath he declared. "Fillies and gentlecolts! Announcing the much anticipated arrival of the spirit of chaos and disharmony, the purveyor of pandemonium, lord of lawlessness, earl of turmoil, bringer of bedlam... etcetera etcetera. Dun, dun, a dun, a dun dun! Discord!"
The miniature Discord quickly vanished as a poster of Discord dressed in some kind of sports jersey appeared in its place. Music started playing and spotlights shown as Discord emerged from the poster, bouncing a basketball around and throwing it into the air where it exploded into confetti! "Tada!" He proudly declared. "See guys? That's how you make an entrance!" And then with a smile he declared. "So, guys' night is it? Well why didn't you just say so?! Shall we hop to it? I made a list of the rowdiest establishments in Ponyville to visit," He unfolded a small sheet of paper which showed only two names. "It's rather short. Maybe you can help me expand it."
Spike blushed. "Uh, we're staying here. I don't think Twilight would really approve of me sneaking out to clubs after dark. And even if she doesn't find out, I'm pretty sure Starlight will," A sigh of regret escaped his lips. "Having a big sister can really stink sometimes."
"Oh, I see, Twilight keeps you on a short leash doesn't she?" Discord commented.
"Hey, exny on the leashy!" Spike warned as he blew smoke from his mouth.
Big Macintosh promptly whispered to Discord. "He doesn't like to talk about it, won't even tell me why it gets him all riled up," Then he changed the subject. "We don't need to go out to have a good time. We've got an awesome game we like to play."
"A game? Ooh, I do like a good game!" Discord commented in amazement. "I still fondly remember the days of trapping best friend ponies in hedge mazes and turning them against each other. I wonder if I could turn it into some kind of game show?"
Spike quickly spoke up. "Uh, I'm talking a real game. I'll go get it! Trust me, you're gonna love it! It's awesome!" He rushed away to retrieve it.
Discord watched Spike disappear and called into the distance. "Whatever it is, it can only get better by adding me to the mix."
Only a few moments later Spike called out to Big Mac and Discord. "Okay! Ready!" Big Mac headed the call, leading Discord to a dark room in the corner of the castle.
Spike clicked on a flash light and began to announce. "In a world where evil reigns supreme, a small band of warriors stands tall against the darkness. This is... Ogres & Oubliettes!" The lights flicked on a moment later, revealing a game made of cardboard cutout figures, a paper map, and lots of dies. And it was all set up on the magic table throne that often sent Twilight and her friends off on friendship quests!
Discord locked eyes on the game and let out a gasp! Whatever he had been expecting, it was most definitely not something like this. "Oh my... this looks like..."
"-The best game ever?! Well, you're right!" Spike giddly replied. "This isn't just any tabletop game, oh no! This is the king of them all!"
"Yes, I can see," Discord remarked and under his breath he added. "A game that makes you build it all yourself, I guess that's one way to make a living."
Spike could sense that his new guest wasn't exactly thrilled with the game and quickly tried to cheer him up. "Oh come on, Discord! Ogres & Oubliettes is a fantasy role-playing adventure game," He fondly added. "Shining Armor taught me how to play it when I was but a hatchling, and sometimes Twilight would join in."
"We were gonna let Shining Armor join in," Big Macintosh commented. "But he's too busy takin' care of his daughter, and lots of other times he's had to take a rain check 'cause of his wife. A shame, I hear he's really good at this game."
Spike nodded, puffing out his chest. "He taught me all the ins and outs, all the best tricks and tips! But now, I think it's safe to say that I'm the Ogres & Oubliettes champion of the Sparkle family!" Then he sat down in Twilight's throne, explaining the basics of the game. "Our goal, defeat the evil Squid Wizard, or... " He stiffled his share laugh with Big Mac. "As we like to call him... the Squizard!"
Big Mac laughed, pounding the table. "Ya gotta admit, it's a clever play on words. And boy, doesn't it just crack ya up?"
"Ah yes, how very creative of you." Discord sarcastically grumbled.
Spike, unaware of Discord's comment, cleared his throat and regained his composure as he went on explaining the game. "The Squizard has laid siege to the last free city in Spiketopia. That's the name of the land. And he's kidnapped a beautiful unicorn princess named Shmarity," Realizing what that sounded like the dragon quickly added. "Er.. which is like a normal name in Spiketopia, so, you know, don't think about it too much. It means nothing."
Discord moved a zipper across his mouth. "Not to worry, I heard nothing. Your romantic 'fantasies' are safe with me," Then he remarked. "But why do you think I'd be interested in something like this? It doesn't sound very appealing."
"Come on, you haven't even tried the game yet," Spike insisted. "Trust me, it's tons of fun once you get the hang of it," He pulled out a book and a character sheet. "Okay, first thing's first, you've gotta make your own character. It can be anything you want, within reason of course."
"Oh, okay, what about... Discord?" The spirit immediately proposed.
Spike shook his head. "You can't play as yourself, that defeats the whole point of the game. The fun comes from creating your own custom character, and emersing yourself in the rich world you've created," Then he explained. "Take me, for example. In this game I'm not Spike the Brave and Glorious. I'm Garbunkle, a famous magician. Everyone treats me with the utmost respect. Oh, and don't get jealous but I happen to be a level 30 Enchanter with major skill points assigned to Intellect and Perception. After all I have been playing this game for a long time."
Discord tried his best to feign interest. "Yeah, sure, go ahead."
Spike gestured a claw over to Big Macintosh, seated in Applejack's throne. "Big Mac's character is Sir McBiggun, a level 27 Black Knight Unicorn from Castle Chadwick! His skill with a sword is without equal."
Discord still pretended to care about the game. He was convinced that if he just sat through Spike's long dribble he could kindly bow out and have some fun on his own. "I see. I suppose that counts for something."
"Oh it does!" Spike proudly explained. "For you see, when his king aligned himself with the Squizard, Sir McBiggun would not besmirch his honor. Thus he met Garbunkle, and the two formed an alliance of their own."
"Eeyup," Big Macintosh proudly nodded. "I'd sooner be buried with my sword than give myself to some evil wizard."
"And so it came to pass!" Spike declared in a dramatic tone of voice. "The magician and black knight vowed to rid Spiketopia of the evil Squizard. And today, it just so happens that a new traveler has joined their group. And his name is..."
Discord frowned. "Oh, we're still doing this? I already have the best name in the universe. Why would I change it for something like... I don't know... 'Captain Wuzz'?"
"Ah, Captain Wuzz it shall be," Spike wrote down the name on a character card. "You'll start at level 1, that's how it works for all newcomers. You'll level up the longer you play and the more battles you partake in, some on your own and some with your allies. Now, there's still the matter of class. Choose wisely, once you've chosen one there's no take backs. There's a whole bunch of classes, but for a beginner might I recommend something simple? Archers, Mages, Rogues..."
The spirit rolled his eyes out of his head, pulled them up from the ground, and put them back in as he groaned. "Honestly, those classes all sound lame. Can't I just leave? This really isn't my kind of game."
Spike shrugged off the complaint. "Come on, Discord. Give it a chance," And he settled on a character for Discord. "Well, how about an archer? They're great at ranged attacks, and we could certainly use that to cover our flanks. Magicians are support based and Black Knights fight up close and personal."
"Ugh, fine, I'll be an archer. But only for this game, after that I'm never playing again!" Discord vowed.
The little dragon laughed in his throat. "That's what they all say, but after one game they're hooked. I've got character sheets of all sorts of players to prove it. I've even played it with my dragon sitter, Princess Luna. And let me tell you, she sure knows how to get into character," After regaining his composure he turned to Big Macintosh and asked. "Sir McBiggun, are you prepared to enter the world of Ogres & Oubliettes?"
"Eeyup." Big Macintosh firmly nodded.
"Captain Wuzz," Spike turned to Discord. "Are you—"
"Yes, yes, just get on with it!" Discord impatiently declared. "The sooner this game ends, the better."
Spike rolled the dice and then picked up the game book, reading aloud from one of its passages. "Ah, what an interesting predicament. We find our heroes trapped in the dungeon of the evil Squizard. The bars are locked tight," When Discord noticed the lack of actual bars, Spike explained. "The bars exist in our imagination."
"Oh really? So we just pretend things are real now?" Discord complained.
"They are real, Discord, in our imagination," Spike quickly replied. "I'll let you take the first move since you're new to the game. So, Captain Wuzz, what do you want to do?"
Discord grumbled. "Does it matter? I'd like to curse myself for deciding to come to this meeting," Then he realized. "Oh, you meant the game. Well, what can I do, exactly?"
Spike told the spirit. "Almost anything you'd like, really. Then I just roll this twenty sided die and see if you're successful. However, certain things are harder for you as an Archer. And likewise, some things are ease. But more on that when we get to it."
Discord poofed up a set of bars and stuck his head out from them as he declared. "How's this? I stick my head through the bars and demand for the immediate release of the Lord of Chaos. Which Captain Wuzz just happens to be, just so we're clear."
"Not in this game he isn't, there's no class for Lord of Chaos," Spike replied. "Persuasion's not your strong suit as an Archer. You're taking a big risk, you'd have to roll a seventeen or higher. Better hope lady luck's on your side," He picked up the die and rolled it, looking down at the number. It was an eight. "Ooh, bad idea. The guard gets mad. Perhaps Captain Wuzz would like to have one of his teammates take over?"
But Discord growled. "No, Captain Wuzz has a trick up his sleeve!" He looked down at a book nearby, eyeing the things written on it and then declaring. "Ah, here we go! This spell here. I cast it and turn him into a parsnip. I can do that."
"Actually, you'd need eleven Intelligent points to cast a Transform Into Root Vegetable spell. Maybe you should've picked a Mage," Spike told Discord. "Mages are great at spell casting and healing. But maybe you'll get lucky?"
Discord scoffed at the notion. "Luck has nothing to do with it. How could I not be intelligent? This game makes no sense. I cast the spell anyway because this game is stupid."
Spike rolled the die again, watching as it landed on a nine. "Ooh, not quite, Captain Wuzz! The spell backfires. So," He had to pause due to fits of laughter that were erupting from him. "Your claws grow leaves and transform into parsnips!"
"What?! Are you for real?!" Discord growled.
Big Macintosh just started laughing hysterically. "Parsnips!"
The spirit found himself growing steadily more frustrated by the second as the fits of laughter grew into loud howls. "Don't you dare laugh at me! Do you even know who you're dealing with?!" But his angry remarks only fell on deaf ears, neither Spike or Big Mac acknowledged a word of what he'd said.
Suddenly, something inside Discord snapped! His eyes burned with a fire he had experienced only once before, when Fluttershy had invited Tree Hugger to the Grand Galloping Gala instead of him. "Ooh, that's it! I've had it up to here with this game, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!" He bellowed at the top of his lungs. "I seal Sir McBiggun in a magic bubble until he stops laughing!" And he did just that!
Big Macintosh found himself suspended in a bubble that he couldn't break out of it no matter what he did. Spike angrily turned to Discord. "Cut it out, Discord! You're ruining the fun!"
"What fun could be had in a game that says I'm not intelligent enough?!" Discord snorted. "I'm intelligent! With a snap of my paw I can turn the world upside down, and with another snap I can bring it right side up again! I know magic that even Celestia and Luna don't know! I'm capeable of bending the laws of time and space to my every whim if I so choose!" Then in a low, growling tone of voice he added. "And if the Tirek incident should've taught you anything, it's that you don't want me to be the bad guy."
"Look, Discord, you had your chance and you chose to be an Archer!" Spike retorted to Discord. "I told you the things you were trying to do were risky, it's your own fault they backfired! Maybe if you'd listen to me, I could've helped you pick a class better suited to your style of gameplay."
Discord scoffed at the very notion. "Please! You call this a guys' night? I can show you a real guys' night!"
"But we don't want a real guys' night, not your version anyway," Big Mac protested. "We much prefer Ogres & Oubliettes."
It was then that Discord got an idea, a rather sinister idea at that. "Oh, you really like that game, huh? Well what if I told you, I had a way to make the experience more 'lively'?"
"What do you mean by that?" Spike nervously questioned with a gulp.
Discord flashed a toothy smile. "Oh, you'll find out soon enough. Garbunkle! Sir McBiggun! Are you ready to enter the world of Ogres & Oubliettes?!" As he spoke dark clouds ominously gathered around him, and then he held out his paws and shot two bolts of magic at Spike and Big Macintosh, making them disappear!
When Spike and Big Mac came to, they found themselves looking around at an unfamiliar landscape. It looked almost like it was comprised of colored dies, cardboard cutouts, and paper figures. And it seemed they were dressed in the outfits that matched their characters from the game of Ogres & Oubliettes. Spike had a gray wizard's robe and hat, along with a beard and a wooden staff. And Big Mac had a horn, a black mask that concealed all but the eyes on his face, and a sword that could be tucked into a small holding on his back.
"Sir McBiggun?!" Spike exclaimed, hoping beyond hope that he wasn't imaging things.
Big Mac took one look at himself and nodded. "Eeyup."
"And I'm... Garbunkle?" Spike commented as realization slowly began to sink in. "Then that means that... Sweetness! We're in the game! Check this out! Ka-zam!" He fired off a beam of magic from his staff, shattering one of the nearby dies.
Delighted at this development, Spike and Big Mac began to chant again: "It's guys' night, oh yeah! In the game now, oh yeah!"
Spike then marveled at the real life game world Discord had created. "Oh man, if only Shining Armor could see this now. He'd be begging to join in!" The little dragon looked all around, but he didn't see any sign of Discord anywhere. Either as himself or as his character: Captain Wuzz the Archer. "Discord? Hey, Discord, you there?! I know you didn't like playing the game with us, but we still owe you for bringing it to laugh like this."
From afar, Discord's voice could be heard and it sounded like a laugh. "Oh, no need to thank me. Aren't games fun when you get to be a part of the action?"
At that, Spike let out a gulp as he looked at Big Mac. "Er, you think we should worry that he's using his scary voice?" But he needn't have bothered asking, for at that moment there came the sound of an army marching.
The horrified heroes turned around to look, and found themselves staring down a paper cutout of a giant squid with magic wands and a sorcerer's hat. The creature cackled as he declared. "Behold, I am the Squizard! Cower you fools, cower before my awesome power!" Then he added. "And look at the fine prize I picked up. Your precious Princess Shmarity is mine!"
A couple of paper skeleton warriors held a tied up Starlight Glimmer, who was dressed in a long, flowing princess robe and a crown. As she struggled in vain to break free she complained. "For the last time, I'm not Rarity!" And then she looked at Spike. "You've got a lot of explaining to do, mister!"
"Discord!" Spike growled.
Discord's voice only laughed. "You're welcome."
Spike and Big Mac immediately opted to flee from the Squizard, knowing they couldn't hope to take him head on with his army of skeletons. But they could only run so fast, and suddenly several arrows filled the sky!
But before the arrows could impact they stopped midair. Amidst the silence, Discord's voice narrated. "Oh my, what a predicament you're in, brave heroes. You find yourselves on the battlefield, right in the thick of it, as a barrage of arrows rains down on you. If you roll a fifteen or higher then the shield holds against the attack. Roll a fourteen or lower and, well..." The spirit paused in his narration to laugh. "You get the idea. Better hope lady luck is on your side."
From up above, a huge die came down and rolled around. It eventually stopped, landing right side up with the number seventeen showing. Discord continued his narration. "Ooh, seventeen! Lucky you! The shield holds and you manage to withstand the aerial bombardment, for now." Sure enough, the arrows bounced harmlessly off a magic bubble before they could touch either of the heroes.
Having been spared from what would've been a painful fate, Spike and Big Mac wasted no time and resumed fleeing. They tried to take shelter in a nearby cave to rest and hopefully find a way to survive.
Alas, it seemed Discord was already there. "Boo." He cried, before several skeleton warriors suddenly appeared.
"Discord, stop it!" Spike demanded. "This isn't fun anymore."
"Oh, but I thought you liked living the game. I thought I was doing you a favor," Discord remarked. "Isn't it more fun when I'm the game master? The one who determines whether you succeed or fail?" Then he looked down at the two heroes. "Speaking of which, I'd cover that entrance if I were you, Sir McBiggun. You don't want the Squizard's forces to get in and ambush you."
But Discord's warning came too late. The Squizard himself closed in on the heroes, and some of his skeleton warriors drew close enough to attack. Garbunkle and Sir McBiggun fought bravely, repelling many of the attackers. But the Squizard himself was too powerful, one blast from his magic wands was enough to bring them both to their knees.
And when the attacks connected, Spike and Big Mac felt a sharp, stinging pain. "That hurts! That actually hurts!" Spike realized. "Discord, are you crazy?!"
"Of course I am, Spike, it comes with the job," Discord retorted. "So maybe I forgot to mention that the game will be real in more ways than one. Can I help it if that detail slipped my mind?"
"Discord, what were you thinking?!" Spike snapped at the spirit. "This isn't fun! This is awful!"
The Squizard simply laughed in his throat. "Of course it's awful, foolish fools. Spiketopia will be mine! And Rarity shall be my bride!" After a second of silence he quickly corrected himself. "Er I mean, Shmarity."
Another zap connected, and Spike and Big Mac nearly crumpled to the floor from pain. "Why are you doing this, Discord? You're the worst!" Spike complained as the spirit finally appeared in the game world in full.
Discord simply retorted. "Really? I go out of my way to do something nice for you even after I didn't like your stupid game, and now you say I'm a horrible guy? If you really think that way, why did you even invite me to guys' night in the first place? I could've stayed in my dimension, doing whatever I felt like doing. But I decided I'd give your 'top secret' gathering a chance."
"Because we felt sorry for you, Discord! That's why!" Spike explained. "We thought maybe you'd appreciate the chance to try something new, make new friends."
The spirit stopped the game, snapping his paws and bringing everyone (including Starlight) back to the throne room. Starlight took a moment to catch her breath, then departed without saying a word.
As for Discord he just blinked his eyes but did nothing else. "You felt sorry for me?" He remarked, as if offended by the very notion. "That can't be! I'm supposed to feel sorry for you because I'm me and you're you."
"It's not always about you, Discord. Did you ever think of that?" Spike bitterly remarked. "We thought we'd be nice, Fluttershy kept mentioning how lonely you are whenever she and the girls are out of town. So Big Mac and I thought we'd invite you over out of the kindness of your hearts. Because we were trying to be nice to you, you... weirdo!"
Big Mac nodded his head in silent agreement.
Discord's mouth all but dropped open at the statement. "I ruined your night, and you don't even think I'm cool? Ugh, how embarrassing," Then he remarked. "Great, now I feel guilty. Why do you do this to me? Did Fluttershy tell you how much of a softie I can be at heart?"
"Come on, Discord, you need to lighten up a little," Spike insisted to the spirit. "You're reformed now, and just because you're Discord doesn't mean you have to always be so mean to everyone all the time. Even Starlight wasn't as defensive as you are now, and she had a hard time fitting in."
"Really? Seems like you've accepted her with open arms. I didn't even get an invitation or a heads up when Twilight took her on as a student." Discord complained.
"Because Starlight didn't want or need some big ceremony, she needed time to get used to her new life," Spike explained. "But now she's settled in, and she's become a part of the circle of friends. Heck, she's even made a few friends of her own. If she can do it, why can't you?"
Discord stuttered and twiddled his paws, a tell tale sign that something was troubling him and that he didn't want to admit it to it. "W-well..." After a moment of hesitation he sighed and confessed. "Oh, what the heck? I can't keep anything a secret from you, can I? I suppose I have to tell someone," He cleared his throat. "Ever since Tirek's defeat I started thinking. I tried to put it all out of my mind, but a part of me felt like he was right about one thing. About how I had to change who I was to fit in with ponies."
Spike shook his head. "Come on, Discord, that's just nonsense. Tirek was only trying to plant seeds of doubt in your mind so he could control you. Princess Celestia says he always prided himself on that silver tongue of his."
"But think about it, Spike, in a way he was kind of right," Discord commented. "When ponies see me they think 'Ah! Help! Run away! It's Discord, come to turn my life upside down for no good reason!'. Even Twilight still sometimes thinks I'm up to no good, like I'm a bad influence best kept to a minimum. I guess I just miss the days when I could cause chaos and not have to worry about cleaning up afterward. Not that I'd want to go back to those days, I wouldn't want to be without friends and be trapped in stone again."
Spike simply reached out a claw to the spirit. "Well you don't need to act like a jerk just because you're unhappy. Besides, even if you've changed you're still the same old Discord deep down. You're still the spirit of chaos and disharmony, and that doesn't magically change just because you made friends. For a creature who claims to have been around for eons, it's surprising how much there is that you don't know."
Discord found himself blushing for some reason. "Let it be known that age doesn't necessarily equal wisdom. I suppose even a creature like me is never too old to learn."
"Eeyup." Big Macintosh nodded his head.
Spike nodded too. "Couldn't have put it better myself," And then he turned to Discord. "So, whaddya say? Feel like giving Ogres & Oubliettes another chance? I'm kind of hoping you'll say yes, because I've got a little proposition for you."
"I'm all ears!" Discord said with a grin as he turned himself into a giant ear.
The little dragon grinned. "What if we forgot the board and the pieces for a minute? I mean, the whole game coming to life was completely terrifying, but also kind of the best thing ever! So, uh, Big Mac and I were wondering... What if you toned it down just a teensy bit? You know, maybe get rid of the whole 'the pain is real' thing."
The spirit grinned again. "Hm, I think I can make that work. It'll take some effort though and I can't exactly guarantee it'll be exactly the same as before."
"Hey, we're not asking for perfection," Spike declared. "So why don't you get it set up while I go check on a certain somepony?"
Spike raced out of the throne room and trotted down a couple of hallways to Starlight's bedroom. He knocked on it a few times but there was no reply.
That was until a sharp voice called out. "Go away! I'm trying to sleep!"
"Aw come on, big sis," Spike playfully pleaded. "I'm sorry Discord kidnapped you like that. I already made him promise not to do stuff like that again."
Starlight simply replied from the other side of the door. "I don't care. I don't want to be a princess. All I want to get a good night's sleep," And she groaned. "I swear, it seems like every time I'm with you something crazy happens."
"Alright, your loss." Spike replied and returned to the throne room, deciding that Starlight was a lost cause.
Discord had just finished setting up the real life game world, and had slipped into his character costume of Captain Wuzz. "Ah, there you are, Garbunkle. Are you ready to enter the world of Ogres & Oubliettes?"
Spike nodded as he rushed onto the game world, changing into his character costume. "I'm ready!"
"Sir McBiggun," Discord turned to Big Mac. "Are you ready to enter the world of Ogres & Oubliettes?"
"Eeyup!" Big Mac declared as he changed into his character costume too.
"Okay, let's begin!" Discord declared. "Our heroes decide to confront the Squizard directly, and so they go to his castle. But the Squizard's army is there to greet them." As he spoke, a massive paper castle rose out of the ground, and several cardboard cutout skeleton warriors appeared.
The voice of the Squizard taunted the heroes. "You will never defeat me, fools! My army will make mince meat out of you!"
"In your dreams, Squizard! You're going down!" Garbunkle taunted as he swung his staff, shooting out several blasts of magic that brought down many skeleton warriors.
Sir McBiggun swung his sword around, slicing apart many skeleton warriors as well. And Captain Wuzz's well aimed arrows brought down countless more. But it seemed like no matter how many were defeated, the skeleton warriors continued to pour in.
The heroes didn't care, they were having the time of their lives. The skeleton warriors fell easily against their weapons.
At last, the Squizard himself emerged from his castle just as the heroes reached the top of it. "You've made a foolish mistake! I'll defeat you all myself, and then I'll rule Spiketopia forever!"
Captain Wuzz aimed another arrow as he instructed. "Garbunkle! Follow my lead! We'll take him down together!" He shot off an arrow in a far off direction.
"Fool! Mere arrows can't harm me!" The Squizard declared. "And you missed by a mile!"
"Oh, it's no ordinary arrow, Squizard!" Garbunkle vowed as he aimed his staff at the arrow as it bounced off the castle walls, encasing it in ice. "Let's see how you like this!"
The ice arrow soon pierced the Squizard from behind, causing him to let out a squeak! "You'll pay for that! You haven't seen the last of me!" He vowed as he ran off, trying to get the arrow out of his rear.
"Bulls-eye!" Garbunkle declared.
Captain Wuzz nodded and smiled. "Nice one! Garbunkle! I knew I could count on you!"
Then all three heroes started to chant together: "It's guys' night, oh yeah! Havin' fun now, oh yeah!"
Suddenly, they were snapped out of their game by the sound of hoofs clapping. The heroes spun around to see Twilight and all of her friends had come back to the castle, still dressed in their attire for Yakyakistan.
"Mom!" Spike blushed. "H-how much of that... did you see?"
Twilight snickered, trying (and failing) to cover her look of amusement. "Only the last little bit, Spike. Looks like you're having fun."
"W-well, yeah... all thanks to Discord," Spike declared. "But uh... we should probably pack it up now, guys' night is over."
But Rainbow Dash protested. "What are you talking about? It doesn't have to end yet! I want in!" And she happily exclaimed. "Did you see Big Mac's sword? That's awesome!"
Pinkie Pie added. "Yeah! I don't know what it is, but it looks like super duper fun!" She chased after Rainbow Dash as they stepped into the gaming world, obtaining in game costumes (Rainbow was dressed in a dark gray hooded robe, and Pinkie had a multicolored vest and a purple band that made her look like a fortune teller). "Guys' night rules!" They both declared as they rushed to join in on the fun!
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Again, you made some excellent points in your author's notes on the re-writes and you did a REALLY good job on the exchanges, characterizations and general episode wrap-up in all the right places.
Man I wish there were more episodes using this with the further adventures of the party with adding Pinkie and Dash. I think there are possibilities of fun and even morals.
Squidward the Squizard.
"I'll get you Spikebob, and your little pony too!"