Age of the Pony

by Jacoboby1

Prologue

Age of the Pony

Prologue

"Many will talk of the day Ebonyblade saved us, and then they will talk about how he almost destroyed us"
Princess Celestia

___________________________________

Spike hated being dragged around. The two guards dragging him were not friendly looking ponies at all. Spike would try to escape but the young dragon knew it was useless to try and run from two fully armed and trained members of the Royal Guard. Even if Spike wanted to escape he knew it wasn't a good idea. His dragon scales were hard but he wasn't invincible. The last few months have proved that more than anything.

"I suppose bail is out of the question at this point?" Spike said to one of the guards dragging him with magic. The guy didn't even make a face as he dragged the violet baby dragon along. Spike looked around for some clue as to where he was going. So far the dungeon hallways were bare and had only torches adorning them.

One of the guards stopped and opened a nearby door. Spike was tossed in with magic and set down in a chair. A single beam of light shone from the ceiling. It was dark, he had no idea where he was and Spike grabbed his tail for some comfort. He didn't do well in interrogations and he wasn't looking forward to this one.

That's when a midnight blue Alicorn stepped out of the shadows. Princess Luna was looking at a book with an unreadable expression. Then she turned to look at the baby dragon. Her expression was still unreadable as she closed the book and sat down in front of a bewildered Spike.

"Princess Luna? Look I already told Celestia, I don't know anything about what happened!" Spike said trying to sound brave.

"Thouest know quite a bit more than thou let on Dragon" Luna said setting the book down on the floor.

Spike crossed his arms "About what? Unless it's about getting ambushed by Royal Guards in my own home I don't think I can help you"

"I do not seek to banter with thou dragon" Luna said clearly not pleased. Spike was taken aback by this sudden change in tone.

"But what do you want from me? I don't know anything" Spike said trying to mask his guilt.

"Do not lie Dragon!" Luna marched forward and got right in Spike's face. Her teal eyes two orbs of growing anger in his face. "I seek the champion"

"Which one?" Spike said innocently "Equestria has about a gazillion of them in her proud history"

"Thouest are very well aware of that which I seek!" Luna shouted her blue eyes flaring. "Tell me, lest I use other methods to make you talk"

Spike held up his hands in surrender and Luna backed off "What do you want to know?"

Luna paced in front of Spike "Everything, start from the beginning"
______________________________________________________

Ebonyblade lifted up his blade and plunged it into the Darkling's head. He tasted the black blood of the beast and prayed it didn't enter any of the many wounds he's suffered in this long and grueling battle.

He looked up and saw more Darklings coming at him. They resembled ponies but were far nastier and almost reptilian in appearance. Many held weapons in their teeth but their teeth would've made deadly weapons in and of themselves.

Ebonyblade held out one hoof before them. A blade extended from a hidden leather harness on his leg. The blade was held before the Darklings and they quivered in true fear at the sight of the dark warrior.

"You will meet death either by my blade or by the blades of your masters! Make your choice today!" Ebonyblade shouted at them.

One grimlock charged at Ebonyblade either in blind fear or sheer stupidity. Ebonyblade leaped over the Darkling's head and thrust his blade into the spine of the dark beast. It wailed in pain as it drew its last breath and fell to the ground in its own blood. Ebonyblade then drew a blade from his other hoof and leapt into the rest of the Darklings.

He spun around on one hind hoof and beheaded two of the Darklings followed by a stabbing to the third's neck. Just as a forth was about to hit him from behind a bolt of violet lightning hit the beast in the back. It fell into a pile of ash as a violet unicorn walked to Ebonyblade. She was wearing the robes of a Mage of the Circle, a staff floating next to her as she channeled her magic through it like a second horn.

The unicorn looked at one of the fallen grimlocks and frowned. "Scouts, there are more of them coming Ebonyblade"

The black earth pony smiled at her. "Then we make our stand here Twilight" He brushed his white blood stained mane out of his eyes.

"Here they come!" Twilight said as she drew her staff. Ebonyblade looked to see a lot more Darklings than before all looking to feast on pony tonight. "Shall I deal with them?" Twilight said cheekily.

Ebonyblade smiled and stepped back "All yours Twi"

Twilight twirled her staff and a rain of fire broke from the sky and landed in the center of the group. The Darklings became a mass of screeching, flaming, pieces of flesh. Ebonyblade leaped into the crowd to pick off the stragglers. His blade sang as it cut through Darklings left and right.

Twilight was busy fending off darkling archers that tried to take pot shots at Ebonyblade. A lightning spell made short work of the archers. She turned as a grimlock tried to ambush her. She swung her staff like a bat and knocked the beast senseless. Her horn glowed brightly and the Darkling soon froze solid in its tracks. She turned and bucked the frozen monster, shattering it into a thousand pieces.

Twilight shouted to Ebonyblade whom had just finished off a darkling and was soon facing two more. "There's no end to them!"

Ebonyblade looked around and then heard this roar coming from the hills. He turned to see this colossal purple dragon. This dragon was Spike and he swooped in to save the day in a torrent of fire and then they….
________________________________________________

"Taurus Stercore! That's not what really happened!" Luna growled indignantly

Spike shook his head and shrugged "Isn't that what all the tales say about him?"

"We are not interested in fairy tales. We came to hear the truth" Luna said circling the sitting dragon.

Spike looked at her "And what Celestia given idea makes you think I know the truth?"

"DO NOT LIE TO ME DRAGON!! THOU HAST KNOWN HIM LONG BEFORE HE EVEN WAS THE CHAMPION!!" Luna shouted in the Royal Canterlot Voice.

Spike shook his head trying to get the ringing out of his ears. Then he shrugged and said, "Look, even if I knew him I can't tell you where he is now" He spoke with complete honesty.

At that Luna turned away from Spike and looked down. Her voice seemed to be quivering. "Dost thou have any idea what is at stake here?"

Spike nodded "The whole kingdom is falling apart at the seams and you want to find the pony responsible. Who coincidentally is also the pony who can put all this back together?"

Luna turned back to Spike her blue eyes looking at him earnestly. "We need the champion to help us stop this madness. If thou cannot point us to him then tell us everything thou knowest about him"

Spike crossed his arms "Ya know, I could just be making it up as I go along"

Luna frowned "I will know if thou are lying” She then smirked evilly “Thou will pay dearly for it"

Spike gulped a little then leaned back in the seat he was in and folded his claws in thought. His green slited eyes closed for a moment. He had to tell her now, if he didn't tell her then one the others would be found and would be forced to tell. He couldn't imagine what the Princesses had in mind for his friend but he knew he was going to find out. He opened his eyes and looked at Luna.

"I'll start at the beginning; Ebonyblade was a soldier in Prince Blueblood’s army…”

Comments

[CeresBane]

Canterwall?

like redwall? like mathias?

[The Sweezlenub]

Oh, no. Dragon Age MLP. Actually quite funny to see it done this way. Though I do wish you'd played a bit with those stupid lines from the game's prologue:
"Aren't you afraid I'll make it up as I go along?"
"Not at all."
And then something akin to "Well, then, in that case. . ."
Still good though. Especially interested if you're thinking of embracing more of a parody thing. Are you going to be?

Either way, do continue!

[pwny]

'Ebonyblade' really does not roll off the tongue.

Could you just call him 'Greg' or something?

[CrypticMetaphor]

"IN THE AGE OF THE PONY THE PONIES WILL TALK...."

[Emerald Zweihander]

I was wandering when someone would make a dragon age fanfic.My hopes have been answered thand Andraste,and Celetia.

[Jacoboby1]

1060646While I'll admit some of the lines in DA 2 are...lack luster
I plan to make this my own thing with some of the plot elements
The only real parody was that whole sequence of ebonyblade fighting, it was supposed to be over the top. Because that was how the legend about him was told until today.

[The Sweezlenub]

1060917
Ok, that's cool too. Are you planning on mostly using the cast from the show to fill in for the DA2 cast? That in itself should be rather comical.
1060688
And I must say I agree about the Ebonyblade thing. "Hawke" was one syllable. And a move from one to four is a little strange. "Greg" would be a pretty funny name for a pony, especially the protagonist of an epic fantasy, since it's so totally out of character.

[pwny]

1062635

Not to mention the family name. Is everyone a Blade or similar word? Is Carver a Woodenblade while Bethany is a Origamisword?

I know ponies don't adhere to the last-name convention strictly, but the family name in DA2 tends to be a big and unavoidable subject.

[Jacoboby1]

1066403Ebonyblade's name is a bit of a parody of the sometimes unbelievably long names of other fantasy characters, other characters in the story will come up with nicknames for him though and as for family names...well I won't have a carver or bethany counterpart so it shouldn't be a problem

[Emerulf]

All right, a few tips here and there before I talk about what I think of the story itself so far.
The paragraphs are far too 'cluttered' together. Try spreading them out, really helps reading. Speaking of which, you need to define when a paragraph starts, like I did right at the start! That also helps avoid 'walls-of-text' which, so far, the story is on the brink of achieving.

Another trick to avoid "walls-of-text" is to use break-lines. That would separate the little 'quote' you seem to have by Celestia, from the actual story, or just segments of it, like when Spike starts to tell the tale of Haw- Ebony. A break-line can go from being just a bunch of 'XxXxXxX" to a straight line "--------------". Either way, it marks the beginning of a new scene, and that's quite important. And by 'quite', I mean TOPPRIORITY-GETTOITALREADY.

Anyway, if you're going to, for example, use Luna's Royal Canterlot Voice (or some other magical-kind of speech), use 'bold'. Simple, yet effective. Also, just one exclamation mark is enough! No need for more. A bit of an eye-sore for me, actually.

...Speaking of dialogue, there are a few problems with it. When a character is done speaking, you end the air-quoted sentence with ".".
For example, "Tell me, lest I use other methods to make you talk.". Also, you need to use either a "," or a "." in situations like these:

"Spike nodded. "The whole kingdom is falling apart at the seams and you want..."
(OR)
"Spike nodded, "The whole kingdom is falling apart at the seams and you want..."

What else... Oh! Sometimes, it goes on this strange naming streak, even when there are only two characters talking. There are a couple of things that can be done to avoid that, like say, describing said character!

Luna could be referred to as "The princess" (of the night, to be specific), "The star-maned pony", "The royal mare" (if Celestia isn't around), etc...

Spike could just be referred to as "The purple-and-green scaled dragon", "The baby dragon", etc...

That small adjustment would avoid name repetition and, thus, increase the overall quality of the story.

...Onto the story then.
Let me start off by thanking the shit out of you. Finally, a DA2 crossover! And with a sort-of original concept behind it to boot (since usually crossovers seem to mean "throw-character-X-into-Equestria-and-see-things-happen!").

...I must confess though, had you gone with "Hawke" instead of "Ebonyblade", I would've loved this even more. No offense, but like others said, it's a pretty long name.
Plus, Hawke, besides having an awesome name, has the best beard ever. No OC can compete with that shit, oh no! Oh well, your story, blah blah blah.

...What was I talking about agai- Oh right. So, "Canterwall", huh? Well, I can't complain. I couldn't have come up with a better pun.

The idea to switch characters around seems like a nice idea, can't wait to see it. So long as our beloved ponies don't go off really OOC, then all is well.

Anyway, I'm really interested in this now. Though, are you suuure you don't want to switch "Ebonyblade" with "Hawke"- No?
forum.dangercheats.com.br/public/style_emoticons/default/okay.jpg

If you ever need help with anything, don't be afraid to send over a PM.
Cheers!

[Emerulf]

1060696
"OF THE DAY THEY WERE SAVED BY A HERO... NAMED HAW- I MEAN, EBONY!"

[War king]

This exactly like dragon age 2 very well done