Enough Reasons To Die...

by Mensonge Singer

Reason 2: Disposal

Author's Note:

...oh look, another chapter...... don't think anyone would care..... still wonder why I'm still here....sorry if it's short, been at a big writers block lately....maybe I'll go back and fix it later...but don't think it would matter....sorry if it sounds rambling I wrote it in a span of a few minutes probably...I'm just gonna go cry in a corner now... ...read it if you want.... I guess....

People won’t have to deal with my crap, they’ll be rid of me. They’re all just better off… I won’t be starting any more trouble. Things won’t get out of hand because of me.

...

"There I go again, screwing everything up once more..." I mumble silently to myself as my boss yells at me. I tune him out, unable to take the shouting and just nodded my head, pretending to listen.

I do yard work for my next door neighbor just to have enough bits to keep me above water, but even then, I'm barely ashore... I don't even like my job, but I need the money. So I just suck it up like a big filly and take the constant disapproval...

"YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A BUCKING SCREW UP, AND YOU NEVER FINISH THE JOB!" he yells at me. I shut my eyes tightly as my mane falls into my face slightly hanging my head.

"Sir, I asked you nicely to please stop-"

"Shut the buck up, and do the Celestia d*** job right!"

I try to ignore the words and push down my urge to cry at the flashbacks of my trauma. I just nod my head slowly and walk away as he slammed the door behind me. Another day in defeat for proper payment. I haven't really been able to focus much lately, due to my depression so it's been affecting me with my day to day tasks. But I don't really care anymore, I just want to get it over with... not like I'll do it right anyway, so what's the point in even trying...?

He's better off with somepony who could actually do the job right... not some PTSD earth pony girl who can hardly get her life together... I just lay around all day and try to keep anxiety down, when I'm just making it worse by doing anything...I'm wasting my time... I'm just somepony who deserves to be screamed or blamed for something that wasn't my fault, but they have every right to...

I open my front door as I move into my living room and began to sob onto my couch.

...nobody will ever understand how I feel...I...just want it all to...stop...I want everything to stop...

....my pain....my sorrow...my tears...and...

....my life...