Detail is something you should always be careful asking for from a stressed-out, anxious, nerdy, alicorn book horse.

Truly the understatement of the year. Though given enough time, I’m pretty sure Twilight would have had charts and diagrams prepared.

Well damn... I love this story already for the humor and writing Soon also for the trill

“Oh, hay yes you will.” Twilight laughed. “I’m thinking you’ll pay for my amarezon.com book account for the next month.”

.com? I try to overlook computer s in the magical land or EQ

Cadance suffered through an excruciatingly precise five minute lecture on Starswirl’s potion, how she and Starlight had discovered it, then found out that the key reagent was stallion semen, then even further that the critical potion in question required the semen to be harvested by an alicorn… from a member of her own family. Hence the predicament.

How... Did he find out?
Ask Celestia or Luna?
And which family members?

It had been the family dinner from Tartarus.

Twilight was halfway through her main course, her mind finally distracted from the stress of the monumental task hanging over her head… having to find some way to harvest a family member’s… essence.

But

Gap.

But she’d managed to forget all that worry, thanks to a lovely chat she was having with her beloved sister-in-law, Cadance

You're spelling it correctly in this story. Why not copy/replace fix her name on Shining Armor is a Goddamn Moron? It'd take you a couple of minutes tops.

She’d even brightened up enough to begin joking with her close friend and pupil, Starlight, as the two of them picked on her father’s penchant for adding cheeses to every side-dish he ever prepared.

I never got the impression from the show that Starlight considered Twilight a close friend. Lord knows, Twilight tried but Starlight ended up hanging out with Trixie because they got the lesbians for each other and no one will tell me otherwise.

Adding cheese to side-dishes? Beats Gordon Ramsay's habit of dumping a gallon of olive oil into each of his dishes!

Starlight was hastily chewing a third bread roll. Night Light was shooting waggling eyebrows at Twilight’s mother as he finished telling the same joke he’d told every night for the past fifteen years…

The goddamn moron! Wait, wrong story.

...and then Twilight began to orgasm.

Here's a thought. Just say, "Twilight began to orgasm". Or just take the ellipses and set fire to them. Something. Starting a sentence off in its own paragraph with a lowercase word is just blasphemy.

The next few minutes were a blur of sensation, heart-pounding fear, a cacophony of sound and stimulation as the poor alicorn did her best to blend into the background and avoid wetting herself and letting out the soft scream that was bubbling up in her gut.

Somehow, she made it through those few minutes. Somehow.

She orgasmed for three minutes straight? H-O-T! This story is already in my good books.

“Are you sure?” Twilight Velvet stood up, beginning to gather the plates. “Is it your tummy again? I told Night Light to go easy on the cheese… He knows it gives you the toots.”

You're on a roll, Cloppy! You're killing it, lad!

Twilight’s…’toots’!”

Add space.

“Fine.” Twilight said, as coldly as possible, before leaving the table, making very sure to tuck in her chair so as not to reveal the puddle left behind… and tucking her tail in tightly to try to keep the scent of her arousal as contained as possible.

Comma after 'fine' not period.

How will she cover up the smell of a giant puddle of marecum? A potpourri spell? She was cumming for three minutes! She needs to magic that shit off or something and wipe the chair and floor or they're going to reek to high heaven.

Shining forced out a little chuckle, “it absolutely could have been worse.”

I'd make these two separate sentences so you're not starting a quote with a lowercase letter.

Twilight didn’t want him to feel awful. Not over some honest mistake.

It wouldn't be an honest mistake if that happened to my asshole. There would be some chinaware being thrown!

amarezon.com

Seeing as your ponies have all this human technology I gotta ask: Does your version of MLP have ponies on the internet threatening to say the "gamer word" too? Rooftop Kirins? Pepe? Striped.com?

Feels bad man!

One of the main reasons I stopped writing Movie Night was because I added computers to it.

There was a monumental task in front of her. But she couldn’t reveal it to her brother, not yet… “Actually Shining… forget about the amarezon account… just… remember you owe me one… ok?”

Excessive ellipses.

and as much as Starlight Glimmer loved to be an impish troll,

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Night Light nuzzled his wife’s neck, growling playfully as he tried to hurry his wife toward the stairs. “C’mon my lovely Velvet lovebird… let’s go put that old bedframe out of its misery. I’m going to put your horn right through the headboard.”

Jesus Titty Fucking Christ, what the hell!? That sounds extremely painful, my dude! I don't know how the justice system works in Equestria -- whether it's like America where you get 15-20 years for big boy crime or 15-20 days for violent murder like in Canada -- but at the very least that's an arrestable offense!

Cadance rolled her eyes and looked over at her husband with a stare. “Oh… ruffling her hair, that’s nice of you, sweetie… so I guess you do know where it is appropriate to touch your little sister, after all?”

Shining’s gulp was as loud as a sneeze. “Y-yes… C-cadie…”

After so many of these stories, I'm not sure what's appropriate and what isn't so far as touching your sister is concerned.

No ‘accidentally’ sexually assaulting Starlight Glimmer while I’m not monitoring you, understood!?”

He wouldn't dare evoke the wrath of the people's revolutionary!

“There’s all sorts of different love, Twilight.” Cadance grinned. “Familial love, parental love, friendly love, fantastical love… and erotic love.”

Which one is loving something that isn't real, cuz I know all about that shit.

Like a fine wineglass clenched too tightly in a mare’s hooves, Twilight shattered into pieces.

That's a very pretty simile!

“Shh… shh… shh…” Cadance chuckled. “Don’t be such a silly filly Twilight. It’s perfectly normal, and far more common than you’d think. And like I said, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

Then why does everyone grow up with an aversion to the idea, initially? It's either the Westermarck Effect (nature) or social taboo (nurture). This is something every clopfiction writer bungles when they write their lurid incest fics. For starters, they always insist on using the horse genes excuse to write off Westermarck because inbred offspring gives people the sads, I guess? So they go with this social taboo explanation in which everyone is secretly doing it but just never talk about it which reminds me of the silliness of Clocktower Society's secret sex dungeons that everypony knows about that remains out of sight of mainstream society.

In reality, there would be no social taboos if the practice was as widespread as incest aficionados insist it was. Rant over.

“I’m fairly certain there are several laws against it, at the least.”

“Not in the Crystal Empire. Nor with any visiting diplomats from the Empire, which would include Shining… and at my pleasure, you as well.” Cadance chuckled. “Besides, those rules were only put in place because Celestia was getting tired of dealing with those noble houses that were inbreeding desperately to cling to power with no regard to love.” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t have to tell someone as intelligent as you about the low genetic risk…”

There it is! This is exactly what I was ranting about.

Twilight nodded. “But if you multiply it over a bunch of generations, over and over…”

“...aaand that’s how you get Prince Blueblood.” Cadance sighed.

“Ugh. That… makes sense, now that I think about it.” Twilight chuckled.

At least that's something. It's not much... but it's something.

“Yeah, but those laws won’t be around much longer. Besides, since when could laws ever stop love?” Cadance chuckled, prodding Twilight.

Even Cadance isn't gung ho about this using this flimsy Westermarck angle. I don't blame you, sister.

The blood pounding through Twilight’s head made it feel like her ears were ringing… or on fire. Could bells burn?

That... is a fucking BADASS line!

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Lots of jokes, lots of silliness, lots of characters acting at the 'limit' of their usual characterization.

Let me know what you thought! I don't always do comedy.

Your comedy is always good. I'm going to keep reading this one. I've not decided on hitting the like yet but it won't take much more to push me over the edge. I think this story will be just fine.