A Weird New Life
The Subspace Highway was a terrible place to get lost. It was long, twisty, constantly changing, and sometimes fatal if you didn't have a guide. Unfortunately for our Canadian born hero, he was seperated from his beloved girlfriend do to an epic act of heroism, that we will explore in some later chapter. Our Hero gazed into the twisty horizons that sort of reminded him of Rainbow Road from Mario Cart, a contemplative look on his face. A card showing his name and important information appeared nearby.
“What?” he exclaimed, looking down on his own info card. “If that thing's back, it looks like I'm probably going to have another overly complicated and insane adventure...I thought I was done with those.” He said, sighing. “Whatever, If its showing up now that means something will probably happen soon if I keep walking.”
-ONE HOUR LATER-
“God damn it!” He shouted, angry that his info card has mislead him. Too make matters worse, he had to pee. Scott Pilgrim, winner of Romona Flower's heart, slayer of 7 evil Ex-Boyfriends (one of whom was a girl), Best Fighter in Canada, and totally the best bass Player ever... Defeated by what seems like a never ending Rainbow Road to nowhere. Trying to take his mind off the fact he had to pee, and the narrative seemed to be going nowhere, he let his mind wonder.
He missed his friends. He wondered how Stephen Stills and Kim were doing in the band...or did the band break up after they realized they were terrible and had no fans? Scott cursed his own terrible memory. He wondered what Wallace would say to him if he were here. Probably something smart like not getting lost or whatever. He also missed that one guy with a car. If he were there he could totally drive him so he didn't have to walk! He of course, missed most of all, was his girlfriend Ramona Flowers. The girl he fought so hard for and now lost on this strange Highway of the mind.
When all hope seemed lost, and Scott heavily considered peeing off the side of the road, he saw in the distance that someone's dream. That could be his ticket to directions and a bathroom! He ran as fast as he could towards the dream, noting that from a distance it looked rather colorful... Probably a kids dream or something.
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A purple unicorn stood in front of her own library, quivering in fear as she looked up at her mentor and ruler who seemed very upset with her. The white alicorn goddess, had been carrying a stack of paper's with her magic. “Miss Sparkle, All of these reports that you have written are terrible! Its obvious you haven't really learned anything while you were here and it was a mistake to ever make you my student!” she said in a harsh authoritative manner.
“Your punishment, is that you must repeat magical kindergarten forever!” She said as lightning struck in the background. The unicorn was on the verge of tears, “Why Celestia? Why is this happening!” she said as a dunce cap appeared on her head.
“Its not!” came a voice in the background. The unicorn looked over to see some strange ape-like creature walking towards her front door. “You're just having some strange dream”
The rest of the dream sort of just stopped, leaving the unicorn standing in front of the weird visitor, obviously a figment of her imagination. She was about to shrug it off and try waking herself up until it started speaking again.
“Umm, yeah, I'm Scott Pilgrim, so um.. Your parents wouldn't mind if I just walked in and used their bathroom, would they?”
The Unicorn raised an eyebrow, thinking about how weird her sub-conscious was. But she decided to humor her own mind. “I'm..Twilight Sparkle and...”
Twilight stood confused staring at the black card that just showed up. This was by far the weirdest dream she ever had, at least of the ones she remembered. “Age unknown? But I know my age! I am...wait, you? Scott person! Come back here!” The creature called Scott ignored her and proceeded to knock on her door.
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Twilight woke up to knocking. Strange coincidence.. She yawned and got out of bed. “I'll get it!” came the voice of her number one assistant, as she walked down stairs, wondering who it could be. When she got to the bottom of the stairs, she looked over at her little baby dragon assistant, Spike.
Twilight stood still looking at the black box. There it was again, Spike didn't seem to notice it, but she did! What was this? It didn't make sense! Was it some sort of spell? And what of this age unknown thing? Spikes age was obviously... Wait a second, if that from her dream was happening, what were the chances that..
The door opened and a familiar voice spoke. “Hey, I'm Sco- AHH! GIANT LIZARD MONSTER!” Before Twilight could do anything, Spike was launched across the room and hit a bunch of books. Twilight ran to the aid of her friend and assistant.
“Spike! Spike! Are you okay?” Spike seemed a bit dazed, one odd thing that Twilight noticed was that the green on spikes spine scales were now white. “You punched the green out of his scales!” she turned too the large ape creature who looked confused and threatened. She let her magic pulse through her out of concern for her friend and anger that someone would so quickly hurt him.
“YOU PUNCHED THE GREEN OUT OF HIS SCALES” Her eyes glowed, she picked up the weird intruder she remembered as Scott Pilgrim and threw him against a wall. He hit it hard, and fell unconscious.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scott shook his head waking up. His head hurt. He must have had a weird dream. As his eyes opened and he examined the room, he noticed that he was tied up, and in a library... which doubled as a tree. Oh crap, it wasn't a dream. The demon horned horse thing called Twilight stood in front of him. She seemed angry, and weirdly curious.
“Who are you? What are you? Why did you attack my Assistant? Did someone send you? Did I create you in my mind? Are you a work of Discord? An ancient civilization? Do you know Pinkie Pie?” The questions were just drilled at him one after another with no pauses.
“Umm...yeah, I didn't catch that.. Can you ask the last one again? And possibly all the other's before that?” Twilight let out a sigh.
“Okay...What are you?” She asked frustrated.
“Oh.. Um, I suppose I'm Human? Is that what your asking?”
“Okay..Where did you come from?”
“Toronto, Canada”
The Purple Unicorn thing named Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Canada? You mean Canterda?”
“...What?” Scott had no idea what was going on anymore. One second he was on a magical rainbow bridge traveling through a road that goes through peoples minds with his girlfriend who he had to beat up 7 people into coins to get with, all perfectly normal. Now he was in a world where ponies talked!
“Why are you here” The Unicorn finally asked.
“I got lost on the Sub-Space Highway.. Do you guys have that in..um..is this place Canterda?”
Twilight laughed “oh, Oh no. Canterda is another name for the Frozen Planes north of here. No, This is Equestria...and, no, I've never heard of this..Highway of yours, but I will look it up as soon as my number one assistant (whom you attacked) gets up”
The Unicorn began picking up several books off her shelf using her magic. She turned to him “oh! by the look on your face and the fact that you come from a far away place, I'm sure your confused how exactly I'm doing this huh?”
“No no, I'm not stupid. Its obviously because your Vegan”
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Oh, all my yes.
BUCKIN'! MOAR! NOW!
You see what you did?! YOU'VE PEAKED MY INTEREST!!!!
.............*ahem* please continue.
By the way, it seems like you need an editor because of the grammar and spelling mistakes or at least look this over.
Please Please Please let him punch blueblood.
Wait a minute Flim and Flam are twins ,Gilda is an angry female bad ass, Trixie is a jerk with magic powers, and Blueblood is a rich jerk all you need is a famous jerk, and cheating vegan jerk and you have a full set.
Slightly disappointed with the grammar and spelling, though.
Grammatical errors edited in bold, spelling underlined.
“What?” he exclaimed, looking down on his own info card. “If that thing's back, it looks like I'm probably going to have another overly complicated and insane adventure...I thought I was done with those.” He said, sighing. “Whatever, If its showing up now that means something will probably happen soon if I keep walking.”
“God damn it!” He shouted, angry that his info card has mislead him. Too make matters worse, he had to pee. Scott Pilgrim, winner of Romona Flower's heart, slayer of 7 evil Ex-Boyfriends (one of whom was a girl), Best Fighter in Canada, and totally the best Bass Player ever... Defeated by what seems like a never ending Rainbow Road to nowhere. Trying to take his mind off the fact he had to pee, and the narrative seemed to be going nowhere, he let his mind wonder.
He missed his friends. He wondered how Stephen Stills and Kim were doing in the band...or did the band break up after they realized they were terrible and had no fans? Scott cursed his own terrible memory. He wondered what Wallace would say to him if he were here. Probably something smart like not getting lost or whatever. He also missed that one guy with a car. If he were there he could totally drive him so he didn't have to walk! He of course, missed most of all, his girlfriend, Romona (was Ramona) Flowers. The girl he fought so hard for and now lost on this strange Highway of the mind.
When all hope seemed lost, and Scott heavily considered peeing off the side of the road, he saw in the distance that someone's dream. That could be his ticket to directions and a bathroom! He ran as fast as he could towards the dream, noting that from a distance it looked rather colorful... Probably a kid's dream or something.
A purple unicorn stood in front of her own library, quivering in fear as she looked up at her mentor and ruler, who seemed very upset with her. The white alicorn goddess had been carrying a stack of papers with her magic. “Miss Sparkle, all of these reports that you have written are terrible! Its obvious you haven't really learned anything while you were here and it was a mistake to ever make you my student!” she said in a harsh, authoritative manner (was manor).
“Your punishment, is that you must repeat magical kindergarten forever!” She said, as lightning struck in the background. The unicorn was on the verge of tears, “Why, Celestia? Why is this happening!” she said as a dunce cap appeared on her head.
“It's not!” came a voice in the background. The unicorn looked over to see some strange, ape-like creature walking towards her front door. “You're just having some strange dream.”
“Umm, yeah, I'm Scott Pilgrim, so...um.. Your parents wouldn't mind if I just walked in and used their bathroom, would they?”
The Unicorn raised an eyebrow, thinking about how her subconscious was weird. But she decided to humor her own mind. “I'm...Twilight Sparkle and...”
Twilight stood, confused, staring at the black card that just showed up. This was by far the weirdest dream she ever had, at least of the ones she remembered. “Age unknown? But I know my age! I am...wait, you? Scott person! Come back here!” The creature called. Scott ignored her and proceeded to knock on her door.
Twilight woke up to knocking. Strange coincidence.. She yawned and got out of bed. “I'll get it!” came the voice of her number one assistant as she walked down stairs, wondering who it could be. When she got to the bottom of the stairs, she looked over at her little baby dragon assistant, Spike.
Twilight stood still looking at the black box. There it was again. Spike didn't seem to notice it, but she did! What was this? It didn't make sense! Was it some sort of spell? And what of this age unknown thing? Spikes age was obviously... Wait a second, if that from her dream was happening, what were the chances that...
The door opened and a familiar voice spoke. “Hey, I'm Sco- AHH! GIANT LIZARD MONSTER!” Before Twilight could do anything, Spike was launched across the room and hit a bunch of books. Twilight ran to the aid of her friend and assistant.
“Spike! Spike! Are you okay?” Spike seemed a bit dazed. One odd thing that Twilight noticed was that the green on Spike's spine scales were now white. “You punched the green out of his scales!” she turned to the large ape creature, who looked confused and threatened. She let her magic pulse through her, out of concern for her friend, and anger that somepony would so quickly hurt him.
YOU PUNCHED THE GREEN OUT OF HIS SCALES!” Her eyes glowed, she picked up the weird intruder she remembered as Scott Pilgrim and threw him against a wall. He hit it hard, and fell unconscious.
Scott shook his head, waking up. His head hurt. He must have had a weird dream. As his eyes opened and examined the room, he noticed that he was tied up, and in a library...which doubled as a tree. Oh crap, it wasn't a dream. The horned demon-horse thing called Twilight stood in front of him. She seemd angry, and weirdly curious.
“Who are you? What are you? Why did you attack my assistant? Did someone send you? Did I create you in my mind? Are you a work of Discord? An ancient civilization? Do you know Pinkie Pie?” The questions were just drilled at him one after another, with no pauses.
“Umm...yeah, I didn't catch that.. Can you ask the last one again? And possibly all the others before that?” Twilight let out a sigh.
I'M NO NAZI!
And yes, there are more, but I've got a headache.
Hey. Psst. Author. ^Listen to this guy^
I really enjoyed this, despite the spelling and grammar issues. On that note, if you need an editor you can hit me up.
Being the huge Scott Pilgrim nerd that I am, I'm really liking this
Need moar
1055907
I agree with the grammatical errors, but 'Romona' is actually supposed to be spelt as Ramona. I checked the novel.
...
...
...
Eh, for somepony who's only seen half the movie, I think I made a good guess.
Ok I saw the movie but Scott pilgrim vs the world was a book? What has the world come to.
I mean a book? That's like making grand theft auto a broadway musical, wait scratch that, that would be FRICKIN AWSOME. Some one make this a thing, grand theft auto, the musical.
I thought Scott was 22...
Regardless, I'm excited to read this. Sounds like an awesome crossover.
Edit: Oh! It's a jump into the future. I need to learn how to read, pff
1056541
Actually, he's 23 until his 24th birthday in Volume 5.
1055807>>1055839>>1055862
Thank you very much ^^ I didn't actually expect to get this much attention out of this, so seeing so many people comment makes me smile
1055907
Ah, thank you for that. I admit that I'm pretty bad when it comes to grammar. I'll try to watch what i'm doing now. Especially since I now know that people are following me and reading what I write. Its a weird feeling
1055864>>1055886
Hmmmm. Good suggestions! "Writes them down" Truth be told, I only really had a half baked idea of what I was going to do when I first started writing this. Mostly scenes that I wanted to and the general premise.... I may have just wanted to see Scott punch a couple ponies and griffons in the face
1056510
Actually, it was a book (well, graphic novel) first. As much as I want the hipster cred in saying that I read it "before it was cool", I only discovered them after I heard about the movie. It probably helped that the book store stocked them in the front shelf when the movie was in theaters.
As much as I loved the movie, and it did so good at keeping with not only the content of the books, but the spirit and tone. There weren't a lot of differences between them, and in some cases I liked the movie better. But a lot of the humor I'm putting into this is from the books that weren't really in the movie. Like how Scott (and now by extension Twilight), leans on the fourth wall and comments on things. They did that a lot in the books.
Long explanation was long, and I should probably make that explanation where more people will see it, seeing as the movie is much more popular then the books
Anyway, I just wanted to explain that.
Now, i'm off to wonder if "exploding into coins" counts as killing, and if I need a dark tag.
1056834 You could always limit the exploding into coins thing to things like timber wolves, manticore's, cockatrices, Ursa Major, and maybe even Discord(with something happening like Scott pulling a sword out of his chest and having it go Scott has earned the power of friendship or better yet have appear from nowear and have Scott it and super mode after having the elements of harmony fire on him) and just comically beat anyone else like hitting Gilda so hard all her feathers fall out, having Scott destroy a machine built by Flim and Flam,have Scott hit Trixie so hard that she stops talking in the third person, and have Scott and do a multi hit combo attack with rarity against blue blood and turn him into black and blue blood.
1057054 That could work. Anyway, after brainstorming a bit, I've got the rest of the story figured out.
This is awesome!
I demand MOAR.
This has the potential to be fucking epic. MAKE IT SO
Scott is so screwed
So so so screwed
Only one chapter? Oh well. This is by far, the most brilliant FUCKING thing I've ever seen. In the history of everything. Ever.
1057466>>1058597
1057488
A slacker human in a land full of ponies? maybe
yes, but equestria is probably the only place where an ass kicking slacker could go far. Just look at RD, work for 10 seconds and kick ass and she's living in this giant house above everyone. Keep goin and stay golden^^
New idea instead of punching Blue Blood into coins have Scott punch the money out of him with each hit until he penniless while the money fall towards the poor. And side note remember since it takes place in equestria enemies would explode into bits (those gold coins)
You know I was planing on skipping this story but I powered through it. It's fine, not something I would fav.
But then I got to the very last line... and I laughed my ass off
Can't wait to see more.
I found the part where spike had the green punched out of his spikes to be unoriginal, like the way probono is if overused. try something like a yoshi reference to spike, like what is his power when he eats shells or something
This story, gives my interests the most raging boner ever.
My favorite graphic novel and my favorite TV show together in one story.
ALL MY WANT
Silly Scott ponies can't be anything but, vegan
I wish to see what happens so please do
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSxFkkpBbMutdoRJ6cgYTff-26LrW6USphwALCuV4TP729Z8oF0HQ
"Its obviously because your Vegan"
Best line.
Also it should be "it's" and "you're."
Hummanahummanahummanahummana...yes. Tracking. And have a thumb, you beautiful bastard, you.
Seemed, never-ending
Considering the context, I think the "I am" should be "I'm"
And you may want to revise the last couple paragraphs.
But keep the last line!
1084683 actually horses tend to eat anything they can get their mouths on, and there've been sandwiches with what appears to be meat on them in a few scenes already.
1342462
My friends horse ate a pepper steak pie once... rite in front of me.
my pie to be exact. further reinforcing my immense distrust of horses.