Chapter 3: Expertise and Its Downsides
“The castle...” Icy muttered to herself, still in awe. The giant crystal structure was a constant sight in Ponyville, its tips viewable from nearly anywhere in Town. Icy had passed it a number of times since she'd moved here. And, sure, she'd assumed she was probably going to go inside at some point, probably for a school trip or something, but so soon? And on “Official Business” to boot? She couldn't have expected that. As such, she was practically skipping down the street in excitement.
Neither of her companions seemed to notice, of course – Scootaloo was busy moaning about how slow they were going, her wings buzzing intermittently and making her scooter leap forward sporadically – apparently slowness wasn't easy for her – and Alula? Well, she probably did notice Icy, but since her expression was as blank as ever, it was hard to tell.
Icy looked up, seeing the castle nearing. To be honest, she didn't know why the Princess would know that much about the Power Ponies. I mean, yeah, she was a princess and a librarian, so she probably knew everything about everything anyway, but Icy had assumed she'd have better things to worry about.
She looked up at the town clock tower. It was about 4:30, the time Pinkie had told them to arrive. For some reason, the boisterous mare had been tight-lipped about the meeting after Icy had mentioned meeting the princess, only giggling a little and sending them on their way. Icy didn't understand it, but since that seemed to apply to ninety percent of everything Pinkie said or did, it didn't bother her.
As they neared the door, Icy scampered ahead of Scootaloo (a rare occurrence in itself) and gave a sharp knock on the door, hearing it echo around the crystalline structure. Of course, with as big as it was, it'd probably be a while before anyone...
“Hello? Oh, hey there!”
Icy shook her head and looked up at the pony had opened the door, only to find either someone invisible or no one. Confused, she looked down, only to be startled to find someone at her eye level. She was further surprised as she looked at him to find he was a small dragon.
She blinked hard, resisting the urge to facehoof. Right, of course, her pet dragon. She'd seen him a couple of times accompanying the Princess on... Princess-stuff, she assumed, but hadn't paid him much mind. In fact, as she was rapidly realizing, she didn't even know his name.
“Hey, Spike!” Scootaloo greeted him, saving Icy from the terrifying spectre of social awkwardness. She finished chaining up her scooter and joined her in front of the door “You got a moment?”
“Sure, c'mon in.” Spike stood aside, holding the door open as the three fillies entered. He led them down a hallway and Icy had to stop herself from gaping at the crystal walls, else she might have lost them in the palace's corridors.
“Good thing you came when you did – I've just started my break and I was afraid Twi'd call me back any minute. But now I got an excuse to take as long as I like.” Spike continued with a chuckle.
Icy was about to point out that Pinkie had suggested when to come before what Spike said registered.
“Wait, you've been working for her?” She asked. “On a Sunday?”
“Pft, yeah,” Spike waved a hand dismissively as he opened a door with the other, “as if I'd let Twi reorganize the fiction section on her own.” He paused before muttering darkly. “Again.”
Icy was about to ask about that when she realized they'd stopped. She looked around at the room they'd come to, which appeared to be... a bedroom. With a small wardrobe, a bed with a small lump under the covers and a bookcase full of comics. The sort of room she could appreciate, she had to admit, but...
“Where's the Princess?” She asked.
“The Library.” Spike, Scootaloo and Alula answered in unison. Spike continued, apparently not thinking the question odd. “So, what's up?”
Icy was about to say something else when Alula pre-empted her. “Well, you're something of an expert on the Power Ponies, correct?”
Oh. He's the expert. Icy tried not to let her expression wilt. She didn't do a very good job of it.
Not that anyone seemed to notice. Scootaloo and Alula were facing away from her and Spike... well, the smile on his face and his starry eyes seemed to indicate he wasn't paying much attention to her at that point.
“Well, I dunno about “expert”, but I've got so many issues... did you want to borrow the latest issue? It's really, cool, see the Mad Thespian's got this device that...”
Icy tried. She really tried to contain it. But, as Spike's recounting of the story accelerated, a tiny sound escaped her mouth.
Tsk.
She paused, only then realizing she was in the middle of rolling her eyes, to notice everyone now staring at her.
“...sorry.” She said, hoping they wouldn't linger on her reaction. No such luck.
“It's quite alright – do you have a problem, Icy?” Alula asked, oblivious to Icy's silent pleas to drop the subject.
“No, no, no problem.” Icy replied, a brittle smile on her face.
Spike giggled. “It's fine, I know comics aren't for everyone...”
“No, that's not it, I love comics!” Icy interrupted, her enthusiasm for the subject giving her enough energy to speak and enough momentum not to stop before saying: “I just never liked the Power Ponies. They always seemed kinda lame.”
Spike couldn't have looked more shocked if she'd slapped him in the face with his rarest issue.
“Lame? How... How could you... how are they lame?”
Icy continued, unaware of how rapidly Spike's face was falling. “Well, I mean, not all of them – there've been some good stories and I kinda like Marevolous, but, like... So Zapp's got weather control and Radiance has got constructs? Well, wow, get a few pegasi or a decently trained unicorn and they can show you those “Powers”. And Matterhorn? She's got energy blasts, but that's it – when you think about it, she's less powerful than some unicorns. Or at least less versatile”
Spike's face had, at this point, gone past horror and was now shifting into anger. “What about Filly Second and Saddle Rager? They've got cool powers!”
“Yeah, when the writers let them use them!” Icy answered obliviously. “I mean, yeah, there's some interesting stuff you could do with them, sure, but every story, they have to come up with some reason why Filly Second can't just super speed the baddie away or Rager can't just thump them into...”
“That's a bunch of horseapples!” Spike interrupted. Icy flinched back, flashed back to the stuff she'd read about dragons and suddenly remembered that, baby or not, she was still talking to a clawed, fire-breathing reptile who could bathe in molten lava. “So the writers like to be creative and don't want every villain to be taken down easily, so what? It's still one of the best comics out there!”
Icy's fear was then forgotten as quickly as it had come – no way was she going to let that one slide. “No, it isn't! What about...”
Fifty minutes later...
“...and his son from another bad future... how can you keep track of all that continuity?”
“It's not that bad. I mean, if you look at Lane Moor's run on it...”
“Oh, geez!”
“What? You got a problem with Lane Moor?”
“Nah, it's just people always bring him up. Well, him and a few others – Nail Game, Warren Ales, Art Spigot – as if they're the only ones who write comics worth reading.”
“Okay, guess so, but what about Waymark or Cut Brick or...”
“SHUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUP!”
Icy and Spike turn their heads, their ears (Or side-head-spines in Spike's case) nearly brushing against each other after how in-each-other's-faces they were. To the side, they saw Scootaloo, her head hanging upside-down from the bed, looking bored out of her wits. Her hooves idly played with a white plushie that had presumably been under the covers. To her side, Alula was curled up, her eyes staring, unblinking. It took Icy a moment to realize that those weren't eyes, they were here eyelids shape-shifted to look like open eyes.
Scootaloo huffed, bringing attention back to her. “You guys have been arguing for, like, hours or something! Can't you just give it a rest?”
Icy and Spike backed away from each other a step. Each pointed a hoof or claw at the other.
“But he said...”
“But she said...”
“I don't care!” Scootaloo yelled. “We came here for a reason, you know, and I dunno about you, but I don't wanna be here all day while you argue about nerdstuff, got it?”
Icy and Spike's collective anger at the slur against comics died on their tongue as they looked at each other out of the corner of their eyes, realizing just what they'd been doing and how long they'd been doing it. They turned to each other again.
“I'm sorry!” They said in unison before realizing they had and letting out a similarly-unified giggle.
“Sorry about that,” Spike began, rubbing his arm awkwardly, “I just get a bit...”
“No, it's fine,” Icy replied, looking away with her front hooves crossed. “I shouldn't have got so...”
“Yeah, great, he's sorry, she's sorry, I'm sorry I had to listen to that, everyone's sorry!” Scootaloo interjected sharply. “Now can we please get on with what we came here to do?”
Icy turned to Scootaloo, nodding. “Yeah, I guess we should...” she stopped as she noticed Alula again. “Didn't she wake up when you were shouting?”
Scootaloo smirked. “Nah, Alula could sleep through a tornado. I mean, I'm pretty sure she has. But watch this!” Grinning evilly, Scootaloo slowly extended a hoof to Alula's sleeping body. When it was a couple of centimeters away from her coat, Scootaloo suddenly pressed it firmly into Alula's stomach.
“Boop!”
The effect was immediate – Alula's faux-eyes snapped up to reveal her real eyes (a sight that was not as disturbing as Icy felt it should have been) and she leapt a good three feet into the air, before landing on the footboard of the bed. Her body was angled away from the offending hoof, fur on end like a cat on the edge of a bathtub.
After a moment of no threats becoming obvious, Alula relaxed slightly. She looked down, seeing Icy's surprise, Spike's snickering and an expression on Scootaloo's face so innocent you could practically see the halo.
Alula's eyes narrowed.
“You saw nothing.”
“...and then Fluttershy was all like “RARGH, Fluttershy smash!” and took out the...”
Icy smiled as she listened to Spike's recounting of events. Even if she didn't share his opinions, it was kind of fun to see just how excited he'd get about it. The story itself, on the other hand, she was a bit iffy on. After they told him who they had encountered, he'd starting telling them a story about him and his friends being sucked into a comic book and meeting the Mane-iac. Normally, she'd have dismissed it instantly as just an overactive imagination talking. Heck, if Pinkie had been the one to say it, she'd probably barely even listen. This may have been the reason she'd sent them to Spike.
On the other hand, it did explain an awful lot. And Pinkie had sounded pretty certain that it was the same pony. Which, given what Icy had seen of her so far, might not have meant anything, but the others had assured her Pinkie wasn't that kind of crazy.
Furthermore, looking over the comics Spike had foisted upon them, the similarities were uncanny. Other than the obvious age difference and some slight variation in the costume, such as the addition of goggles, the character on the page was nearly identical to filly they'd seen the previous night. The coat was precisely the same shade of purple, the mane the same green, the face the same shape, the expression the same demented glee. Even the way her hair moved and fought from panel to panel seemed the same. Overall, if you ripped the character off the page, made her 3d and shrunk her down to a filly... well, Spike would probably be mad you'd ripped up his comic and you would get the pony they'd fought.
It was far too uncannily similar to be a mere copycat. As unbelievable as it was, it seemed that they really were dealing with the comic book character come to life. Which should have been impossible, but then, Icy was talking to a two foot tall dragon, so who was she to judge?
“So,” Alula's voice broke Icy out of her thoughts, “we appear to have the real Mane-iac on our hooves here.”
“Miniac!” Scootaloo corrected, having taken a liking to Archer's nickname. “She's the Miniac!” She was still pouting – she'd been offended when she was told that Rainbow Dash wasn't Filly Second in the comic universe. She'd been mollified somewhat by the suggestion that maybe whoever decided the roles couldn't make her any faster than she already was, but it still seemed to bug her.
Alula nodded. “Very well, that would seem to be a useful way to distinguish this version. My point remains – it's definitely her.”
“I don't see why not.” Spike said. “I mean, if there's an enchanted comic that can suck ponies in, why couldn't there be one that lets characters out?”
“Wait,” Icy spoke up, having kept quiet for the most part (partially for fear of starting another argument), “you said a guy sold you an enchanted comic?”
“Yep!” Spike nodded.
“Isn't that, like,... illegal?” Icy asked.
“Nope!”
“...”
“...”
“...Okay then.”
“If she did come out of a comic book,” Spike continued after the awkward pause, “it was probably one of his, come to think of it. I mean, I don't think he'd sell one that's dangerous, but maybe it... escaped or something.”
“Comic books can't escape, Spike.” Alula pointed out, frowning slightly.
Spike shrugged. “Neither can comic book characters.”
Alula sighed. “Point.”
“If you want, I can ask him – I'm going up to Canterlot on Tuesday with Twi, and I was going to stop by anyway to get my monthly pull.” He stopped, suddenly considering something. “I was going to get it last week, but the place was closed. You don't think...”
“He's probably out looking for it.”
Spike nodded. “Maybe. Still, I can see if I can track him down and ask.”
“That would be helpful.” Alula nodded. “In the meantime, is there anything you can tell us about the Mane-iac.”
Spike thought for a moment, the side of his mouth pulling back in consideration. “Not sure, most of it you probably already know – she's one of the worst villains out there.”
Icy's mouth instinctively opened to dispute this, but her brain just about managed to get ahead of it and closed it again.
“Don't underestimate her – she's a genius with gadgets and machines, she's an amazing fighter with her hair and she's totally insane. If she thinks she can do something, she probably can and she definitely would.”
“But she is still a literal cartoon character.” Alula said quietly.
Spike chuckled. “Oh yeah, she's not the most subtle villain. She loves grandstanding, traps and big weapons – freeze rays, mind control devices, weather machines...
“Lasers...”
Everyone else went silent and looked at Icy as she realized she'd said that out loud.
After a moment, Spike nodded. “Yeah, Lasers are definitely her thing. Why... Why did you say...?”
“I was just thinking about the things she's stolen.” Icy said, hesitant to speak her thoughts for fear of being laughed at.
“An oven, a bunch of lenses and a few bags of sugar.” Scootaloo rattled off, apparently having been taken out of her boredom and invigorated by the mention of lasers. “Weird bunch of stuff, now you mention it, but...”
“A big, hot bulb,” Icy said, gaining some confidence in her theory, “lenses to focus to the light and sugar.”
“Sugar?” Alula questioned, sounding like she was giving the thought serious consideration. “What would that...?”
“Energy.” Icy knew enough about chemistry to know that. “A lot of energy.”
Alula's eyes widened. “Weird way to go about it, but...”
Icy nodded. “And if she’s used to comic book science…”
Alula nodded. “Possible.”
There was silence for a few seconds as everyone considered the possibilities. By the looks on there faces, it didn't seem an enticing prospect.
For most of them, at least – the hint of a grin on Scootaloo's face gave the impression worry wasn't the only emotion lasers invoked.
“Right.” Spike said eventually. “Don't know what else to tell you... she's got a heck of an ego, so you could try using that.”
“Yeah, I noticed that.” Icy said. “She started ranting and yelling and...” She waved her hooves in a vague imitation of the grandiose gestures the Miniac had given, letting them finish her sentence for her.
Spike smiled. “Yeah, she's pretty smug and overconfident. If she thinks she's better than you, she'll let you know it. And she thinks she's better than everyone.”
“Thank you.” Alula said, standing up. “You've been... less helpful than I'd hoped, but still quite helpful. But we should probably be going.”
“Thanks... I think.” Spike said, walking to the door and opening it. “I should probably go help Twi again.” A muffled thump came from somewhere in the castle. “Definitely should help Twi again.” Spike amended without missing a beat.
“If you find anything out or think of anything else, let us know.” Alula said, giving Spike a small smile.
“Will do.”
Alula went to walk out before Scootaloo rushed through the door ahead of her, as if the “nerdiness” in the room had been physically suffocating her. Alula shook her head slightly and followed. Icy went to leave as well, but stopped at the door, turning around.
Seeing her out of the corner of his eye, Spike paused in his task of putting his plushie back to bed and turned to her. “Something you need?”
Icy took a moment before responding. “Thank you, Spike.”
Spike waved a claw. “Hey, I'm just happy to help.”
“You know,” Icy said, pausing for a moment as if considering something before smirking, “Hum Drum Returns was pretty awesome.
It took Spike a second to realize what she was saying before a grin spread over his face. “Well, yeah. Obviously.” His smile then turned into a frown. “Shame about French Mill's later stuff.”
“Yeah.”
They gave a collective shudder before Icy waved and closed the door behind her.
Fortunately, she could still hear Scootaloo and Alula talking, else she was worried she'd get lost in the halls of the crystal palace. After a minute or so, she caught up with them.
“So, we now know what we're up against, at least.”
“Yeah, no thanks to you.” Scootaloo muttered, not quite quiet enough for Icy to miss it.
“What do you mean?” Icy asked, slightly distressed by the resentment she'd heard in that comment.
Scootaloo's eyes widened as she realized she'd been heard before quickly becoming contrite. “Sorry, sorry, I shouldn't have said that! I'm... I'm real sorry.”
Icy breathed a sigh of relief that Scootaloo didn't hate her. “That's okay... I guess, but what did you...” She thought back over the conversation. “I don't think I did anything to stop us learning stuff, did I?”
Scootaloo shook her head as they exited the castle's front doors. “Nah, not really, we did learn what we needed to... eventually.” She sighed, seeming to resign herself to brutal honesty. “After you guys spent ages shouting at each other over stuff no one cares about.”
“We care about it.” Icy mumbled. It was a token protest, though – she couldn't really defend her actions from an mission-efficiency standpoint.
“Of course you do. And it did no harm in the end.” Alula said, giving a mildly disapproving look. Though whether it was for her, Scootaloo or both was unclear. “Still, I will admit that whole argument was... somewhat less than fun.”
“Speak for yourself!” Icy said, now smiling as she thought back to the debate. “I had a blast!”
She kept walking for a few steps before she realized the others weren't next to her anymore. She looked over her shoulder to see them paused mid-stride, looking at her in surprise and confusion.
She raised an eyebrow.
“What?”
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Really? You mentioned Lane Moor without Granted Moor? They had a wizards' duel in this world! Can you imagine how it went in Equestria?
Hilarious bit on the legality of enchanted comics. That's apparently all there is to say on the matter.
We don't talk about All-Star Marevelous and Hum Drum.
In any case, Icy's made a friend. Now to see how helpful his intel really is.
9594959
Possibly, but given that their names are the same, there's a good chance they're related, so it wouldn't really be a one-to-one fit unless they're related in our world which... given that in some senses they're very similar and in others they're extreme opposites would... actually make sense... and their names aren't that far apart annnnnnnnd I'm going to stop this line of thought before I end up building a string-and-pictures conspiracy wall.
Yeah, we're just lucky the palace put the kibosh on that Celestial Terror idea of his. Yeesh!
This was a fun chapter. Especially for the nerd argument between Spike and Icy.
Totally familiar with that. ("Lane Moor"... "French Chill"... nice work! XD)
We still only have the existence of police as evidence that Equestria has laws. And we've never actually seen them doing police things
like beating zebras to deathin canon.Dang it! Now I want to know what device the Mad Thespian's got!
She's thinking of the joker isn't she?
I suspected as much.
Even so, I do think it would have been funny had it turned out to be a glasses themed plot masterminded by Silver Spoon or Twist.
Ah debate and anylasis. The past time of dorks everywhere.
I thought for a action based episode it was pretty good.
It certainly fleshed out certain elements of Spike's stories, and I like that it took a while for the Mane-iac to come up with a way to defeat them.
The enchanted comic was a bit of a question mark but it's hardly the first time the show has left us with one (even if this version is a bit too modern for my taste).
What little of the comic I've seen relays too much on swapping the characters with the Main Six.
I could understand some similarities, but having them all be roughly the same as their Larping counterparts seems underwhelming.
It's kind of how they didn't even try to tweak their origins for the card game from their inspirations, even just a little.
Some very brilliant artwork and a fun naming theme however.