• Published 16th Apr 2019
  • 524 Views, 37 Comments

Iota Force Issue #2: A Hair Out of Place - The Iguana Man



Iota Force, Ponyville's youngest crime-fighting team, must face weaponized hair, superhero science and inter-fandom rivalries as they battle a foe who is, quite literally, straight out of a comic book.

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Chapter 1: A Proper Welcome to Ponyville

Icy trotted down the street, humming a formless tune to herself. It had been a week or two since she'd helped thwart Fire Eyes's... well, she couldn't really call it a plan and he didn't seem to have any goal beyond “everyone dies”, so... efforts? Yeah, that worked. A week since she'd helped thwart his efforts, discovered her ice-generating powers and joined Iota force. She'd been given an official badge, promised a costume when it was developed, familiarized with how they did things and then... nothing. They’d explained to her that, as important as their job was, their kind of threats didn't happen every day. So, life had been relatively uneventful since then.

Well, except for that giant tree monster that had come through town on Wednesday, but the princess and her friends had taken care of that.

Today was a Saturday, though, and Icy was on her way to Sugarcube Corner - apparently the name of the building that had produced those aromas that she'd smelled when she first explored the town and had been taunting her at the back of her mind ever since. The previous weeks, she and her mom had been mostly concerned with settling in and she hadn't had a good chance to go back there. Upon hearing this the previous day, Scootaloo had threatened to tie Icy to her scooter and drag her there if she didn't go today. Although she was (probably) joking, Icy decided not to turn down the invitation.

Bringing herself back to the present, she came up to the building, seeing sugary smoke wafting from the windows. She smiled, opened the door and had barely crossed the threshold before flavour exploded on her tongue.

Her mouth took a moment to register the cupcake that had been shoved into it and the hoof holding it closed and, in that time, her tongue had decided that it didn't matter because sweetness was all that ever was, is and would be. Her eyes focused after a couple of seconds to see a bright pink pony staring at her with brighter blue eyes. Her voluminous hair practically quivered with energy and her mouth was pulled into a smile that looked like it would hurt most ponies.

“I knew it! I knew it I knew it I knew it! I knew knew knew it could contain that much sugar without being lethal, or even coma-making... Comaking! Heehee! I mean, sure, it made the mixer whine and melt a bit but now we know it's possible! This'll revolutionalise cupcake technology! It may be expensive, but look at that smile!” Her eyes were locked onto Icy's face as she continued without taking a breath. “Only 21.782% dumbfounded confusion, and the rest pure deliciousness overload! And on a new pony, we can effectively eliminate 75% of that confusion and... wait a minute! New pony? And a filly, too? You know what that means!” Her tail came around from behind her, a baking tray inexplicably balancing on it. “More free cupcakes!”

Icy's body locked up as more sweetness-delivery-vessels were shovelled into her mouth. Through it all, one thought managed to form:

Oh, that kind of loon!

After another three cupcakes had gone in and down, the pink dynamo stopped, squinting at Icy's face.

“Waaaaaaaiiit a minute! You're new, and I haven't seen you before. How long have you been in town?”

Discomfort and fear freed Icy's mouth to answer. “A... A couple of weeks.”

“A COUPLE OF WEEKS?!” The pony's smile seemed to flip upside-down. “A whole couple... and you haven't been thrown a single party?” Tears swelled in her eyes. “How.. how could I have been so inconsiderate? Why didn't I notice you before. I'm a terrible pony.”

Icy was about to try and comfort her when her tears suddenly stopped, and her face scrunched into a determined frown.

“Wait, wait, I have a plan. It's a bit unorthodox, but I can think of only one way to make up for this terrible oversight. Yes... yes, I think I can do it. It's crazy... so crazy, it just might work!” She zipped to Icy's side, put a hoof over her shoulder and whispered from the side of her mouth. “Okay, just hear me out. What I'm thinking is... I could throw you A PARTY!”

Confetti seemed to explode out of the vivacious pony's mane as her smile returned, stronger than ever. Icy could feel herself smile, and genuinely wasn't sure if it was sincere or terrified.

“I... I guess Mom and I could-”

“You have a mommy too?!” Pinkie screamed, having apparently not made that connection. “Wow, so the party will have to be superiffic enough for two! Ooh, this is gonna be tough! Gummy!” A small alligator rose slowly out of her mane. “Make a note: Party for... what's your name?”

“Icy Flight.”

“Party for Icy and her mommy must, underline must, be totally, absolutely, super-duper-luper-kuper-buper AMAZING!!! Yes, three exclamation marks, it's that serious!” The alligator blinked languidly. “Well, obviously! That goes without saying!” She said in apparent reply. The alligator blinked again and lowered itself back into her mane like a submarine. “Anyway, I need to talk to your mommy about this, where does she live?”

“23 Saddle Lane” Icy replied before she could stop herself.

“Okaythanksbye!” She heard from the after-image of pink in front of her. She blinked, returned herself to reality and looked around for her friends. She saw Dinky, Alula and Pip watching her with unconcealed amusement and staggered over to them.

“Yep,” Pip said as she sat down, “Pinkie Pie'll do that to you. 'specially if she hasn't had a chance to throw you a party yet.”

“So, is that why you wanted me to come here so urgently?” Icy asked. “So she wouldn't be too... like that?”

Alula gave her her usual expressionless look. “It... may have had something to do with it.”

Dinky put her hoof on Icy's shoulder. “But mostly, we just wanted you to try the food here. Wasn't it yummy?”

Icy was about to concede the point when Pinkie Pie came up to their table. “Can I take your order?” Icy looked to the door.

“Didn't you say you were going to talk to Mom?”

“Yeah, I already did that, so what can I get you?”

At this point, Icy's confusion had reached the end of the spectrum and, by the time the others had given their orders, had looped back around to acceptance.

“Okay, could I have a chocolate muffin? Oh, and maybe some...” She trailed off as she looked out of the window. Coming around the corner of the street were several police officers, moving with a purpose and carrying... well, she wasn't sure. From what she'd read and seen, while disasters, monsters and villains were common here, actual crimes were something of a rarity. At least, the sort where the police could do anything about it. She'd seen a couple on the beat, but never actually going somewhere. “Policeponies...” She muttered to herself, thinking.

“Maybe... some... policeponies, gotcha!” Pinkie said around the pencil in her mouth before she put her notebook away and zoomed into the kitchen. She'd later learn that Scootaloo was still considered the second fastest pony in Ponyville because considering Pinkie Pie for that, or indeed, for anything, was more trouble than it was worth.


After a delicious lunch of a chocolate muffin and several gingerbread policemares (and one policestallion, though Icy wasn't sure how and why Pinkie made a distinction), Icy and her friends trotted down the street to see what the actual policeponies were doing.

They didn't have to walk long – it turned out that the hospital was very near Sugarcube Corner, something Icy wasn't sure was coincidental – and that was where the police had set up their crime scene. Unfortunately, whatever had happened was on the other side of the building, so they couldn't see anything without getting closer.

As they turned the corner, a senior-looking officer spotted them and strolled up to them. His name badge identified him as “Chief Book 'Em”.

“Hey there, li'l ladies! What can I do for ya?” He smiled genially at them. He looked middle-aged, red in coat and grey in mane, but no less fit than a pony half his age. He was probably one of the bigger stallions in town (though not quite as big as the pony who'd brought Apple Bloom to school a couple of times... Yikes!), and must have worked pretty hard for it. Yet he had a gentle expression and kind demeanour that belied how determined he must have been to be ready for anything the criminal element could throw at him. No matter how small that element was.

Or maybe he's just naturally like that and I've just read too many crime comics. Icy thought. She shook herself out of her thoughts as she noticed Dinky put on an expression that... well, Icy assumed it was put on. Nopony could look that cute by accident.

“We just wanted to see what was going on.” She said, soulful eyes trying to drown the chief's defences in pure adorable. The chief chuckled – obviously his defences weren't up to much. He ruffled Dinky's hair, taking off his boot to do so, and turned around, leading them to the crime scene. “It's not a problem, Ms Doo. Don't think it's anything you'd need to worry about.”

As they walked forward, Icy whispered to Dinky. “That was really nifty, Dinky. How did you do that?”

“Do what?” Dinky asked, suddenly looking confused.

“You know,” Icy widened her eyes in a pale imitation of Dinky's previous expression, “cute him into letting us see what's happening.”

“I... what?” Dinky stopped walking, as if she was too baffled to continue moving her legs.

“He'd have shown us anyway.” Alula said as she came up behind them. “This isn't Detrot – unless there's something really nasty happening, the police here don't see a reason to be secretive. Besides, he knows who we are and what we do.”

“Oh.” Icy blinked as she realized how she'd misread the situation. “Sorry, Dinky.”

“It's okay,” Dinky chirped, before reverting slightly to confusion, “...I guess.” Apparently, she still didn't know what she'd done, so she shrugged, gave Icy a quick hug and trotted after the chief and Pip.

Alula came up behind Icy and clapped her on the back as she walked past. “I don't know how she does it either.”

Icy blinked a couple of times and scrambled to catch up with the others. They had to walk down the length of the hospital to get to the crime scene, but they could already see a small crowd gathered around the edges, not coming in any further than they had to to see. Not because of any policeponies holding them back, but because of what the crime scene seemed to mainly consist of: glass.

The area just outside one of the hospital's windows was covered in tiny shards of glass, none bigger than a bit coin. This explained the chief's boots and the crowd's distance – for a species that habitually went around barehoofed, glass could be a problem. One shard in the frog of the hoof and… well, it wouldn’t be pleasant or clean. However, the area it covered was much smaller than Icy would have thought. Especially since the window directly above it was intact, meaning one of the upper windows must have been broken. Although...

“All this glass out here...” Icy pondered out loud as she came up besides the others.

“Yep, break-in, looks like.” Said the chief. “Gotta say, it's one of the weirdest ones we've seen in a while.”

“But the glass is all out here.” Icy had read enough detective comics to know this clue when she saw it. “Doesn't that mean the window must have been broken from the inside?”

The chief looked down at her in an “impressed-at-the-child” kind of way. “Good deduction – that's what we thought too, at first.”

“At first?” Icy finally looked up to the window that was smashed. Except it wasn't. Most of the window was fully intact, but a perfect circle had been cut out of it's centre, just big enough for a grown pony to squeeze through. A very neat job, it looked like from this distance. “So why...?”

“All the smashed glass?” The chief finished for her. “We're not sure at the moment. Weirder still, there's just as much glass inside as out and some of the stuff inside isn’t broken. Just cut into rough squares.”

“But that would mean...” Icy started, before realizing she had absolutely no idea what it would mean. The chief chuckled at her expression.

“Yeah. We're not sure what happened, or why whoever did this would do it just to steal a bunch of lenses.”

“Lenses?” Pip asked, having been quietly contemplating so far. Icy looked around to see Dinky working her adorable magic on a couple of other policeponies and Alula landing with wings that hadn't been there two minutes ago.

“Correct, area behind window is opticians, seemed to have stolen lots of lenses for glasses. Also, hole in window was small enough that any grown pony would have to squeeze through, despite roughness of glass and presence of shards on inside of hole, would cause damage to skin or clothes. However, no remnants noticeable, indicating culprit did not touch the side. Would suggest...” She looked at the chief, who had given her his full attention. “...that culprit was smaller than adult.”

Icy didn't have time to wonder about Alula's change in syntax as the Chief, for the first time, seemed to regard the matter seriously. “You think it might have been one of your...”

“Possible, not definite.” Alula replied.

“Right...” The Chief thought for a moment. “Well, the only major clue we found was this stuff.” He held up a small pouch full of some sort of red powder. “Was all over the place, particularly among the glass, might be something to do with that... I dunno.”

“Thank you, Mister Book.” Dinky said, having rejoined them at some point during Alula's analysis. “Sorry we have to butt in like this.” And she seemed to mean it, too, but the Chief just laughed.

“Not a problem, li'l miss! Always happy for the help.”

As the four of them walked away, Icy was still speechless. The Chief had actually been helpful, forthcoming and thankful for their assistance. That wasn't how it was supposed to work. The police were only supposed to be a source of information or a hindrance for the detective.

She snorted, and promised she would never read another detective comic again.

Well, maybe one or two more, just to check…


20 issues of Batmare later, it was evening and Icy was sitting down with her mother for dinner.

“...came out of nowhere to ask when our party should be, no context, just...”

The conversation was on the expected topic.

“...started to say we might be able to come next saturday, but she said “but that's only a week before Nightmare Night!” so I asked...”

Icy was beginning to wonder if installing a panic room wouldn't be a good idea. Sure, with her newfound abilities, unfamiliar as she was with them, and her mom's experiences, they should be okay, but...

“...of course, since I'm actually ten thousand spiders in a pony suit, I should be able to burn down Canterlot without a problem.”

Icy shook herself out of her thoughts and looks at her mother's smirk. Sunny Flight knew her daughter and could see when she was going off on a mental tangent, so she'd made a game of how much nonsense she could spout before Icy noticed.

Icy smiled apologetically. “Sorry, Mom.” At this point, the question of what she'd been thinking was unspoken between them. “Just thought we should think about... security stuff.” She shrunk, feeling silly saying it out loud. Sunny, though, just looked thoughtful.

“Makes sense.” She said after a few seconds. “Especially if and when anything happens with you and your... group? Team?” They hadn't yet decided on a term that sounded neither overly- or underly-dramatic.

Icy nodded. “Might happen sooner than we think.” At her mother's questioning look, she told her what she'd seen and heard at the hospital. Sunny listened carefully until Icy finished with “...and to be honest, I don't know if I want it to be something we can deal with or not.” That fact had been making her uneasy since they'd discovered the possibility. “I know it's silly, but...”

Sunny smiled at her. “Not silly at all, Icy. You want excitement, to get a chance to be a part of a team and use your new... icyness!” She finished with a chuckle

Icy fidgeted, but began to smile in spite of herself. “Maybe...”

“Who said “May you live an interesting life” was a curse, anyway?” Sunny continued. “I'd rather have an adventure any day.”

Icy rolled her eyes at her mother. “Geez, I never would have guessed.” She looked to Sunny's left ear, at where the real one ended and the prosthetic began, then down at the ravioli in front of her. “If nothing else, your meals are always an adventure.” She felt her mom's magic give her a gentle swat and giggled.

Her mother’s cooking wasn't bad, by any stretch. It tasted fine, it was just... robust. It could be eaten or, in a pinch, used as building material, or possibly insulation. Of course, in some of the places Sunny Flight had been, she might have needed that, but still...

As Icy went off into her thoughts again, Sunny smiled. The two continued their meal in a comfortable silence.


Almost a week passed, and nothing much seemed to happen - no new thefts, no developments, no suspicious kids in school with striped shirts and sacks marked with bit signs. Icy had put forward that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon might have had something to do with it, but it seemed unlikely (although the others had told her that that particular bit of wishful thinking was quite common among the team). Besides, that week, they were mostly picking on Twist for being slightly more clumsy than usual. None of them liked it, of course, and Truffle in particular was spending a lot of time helping and comforting her, but it did seem to indicate the two bullies had other priorities.

So, it didn't seem like any children they knew were responsible and the police hadn't brought in any suspects. It was beginning to seem like a one-off robbery, if a bizarre one.

Not that that stopped Iota Force from being prepared in case something else happened. There wasn’t much they could do to prepare, but they still kept their ears open. And it paid off.

That Friday, Icy was just finishing settling down to bed (after only three “last” comics) when she heard a ping from her bedside table. She turned over to look and saw her Iota badge light up.

“...anyone hear me?” Truffle's voice crackled out from the badge. It was soft and quick and, as such, barely recognizable as Truffle. “I heard the sound of glass breaking across the street. Took a look out and there's a window with a hole, just like at the hospital.”

“D'ya see who made it?” Archer's smooth voice asked, sounding curious but not worried.

“No, I'm going down to see for myself.” There was a pause, filled by the slight crackle. “It's Haute Cuisine's cafe, on Barrel Lane, anyone else close enough to er... lend their aid?” A touch of his normal boisterousness had snuck into his tone at the end there, but Icy paid it little mind. Barrel Lane was only a couple of streets away from her house.

She picked up the badge and pressed down on the iota symbol. “I am, on my way.”

She attached the badge to the fur on her chest, went over to her open window and glided out in the direction of Barrel Lane.

She landed just as she reached to top of the street and, seeing Truffle's distinctive shape in silhouette, scurried quickly over to him.

As she reached him, she saw the glass glinting in the moonlight. Just like at the hospital, it was spread around a small area below the window. Even smaller, this time, since the window in question was on the ground floor. Unlike the hospital, there were a lot of larger, more intact pieces as well, just as the chief had described. Still, the broken glass was widespread enough to stop anyone getting close without risking hurting their hooves badly.

She trotted up to Truffle's side and whispered “How are we going to get to the wind-woah” Without warning, Truffle had picked her up, put her on his back and started trotting casually over the shards. She felt the material beneath her and remembered. “Right, yeah, super-suit, forgot, sorry!” she whispered, Truffle responding with a deep but quiet laugh.

When they reached the window, Icy put her head and front legs through, carefully to avoid the sides of the hole, then pushed forward into a glide, landing a fair way into the cafe's interior. She turned around to see Truffle climbing through, his stomach ballooning slightly over the lip of the hole as he did so.

A shuffle was heard from the kitchen, and Icy turned around to look, only now thinking that she should have brought a torch. She took a step towards the kitchen, then another, moving as silently as she could. Three steps, four steps, five ste-

She stopped as she felt her hoof fall on something strange. Soft, rough... and moving. She looked down to see some sort of tendril beneath her hoof. She couldn't see exactly what it was in the darkness, but it felt like-

Before she could finish the thought, the tendril writhed out from beneath her hoof and, joined by many others, wrapped itself around her legs, pinning her in place. A “What?” came from behind her and she turned as best she could to see that Truffle had been caught as well. As they struggled, a small, dark form floated from the kitchen door, hanging off a massive tendril seemingly attached to its back.

“Well, well,” the figure said in a filly's voice, her red and green eyes shining in the darkness behind a pair of goggles, “even here, in... in a new world, there are... there'd be a meddling do-gooder or two looking to cut me off early.” Her words came out strangely haltingly. It was as if she needed to continually check her own words. “Not that it... would matter, it would appear.” The tendrils around Icy's legs seemed to vibrate as the figure laughed insanely.

“It appears not.” Truffle said, not seeming bothered. “It seems we're at your mercy, Miss... sorry, do I know you?”

A hissing chuckle came from the figure. “Could it be? Could it truly be that I am not known here? That my reputation… didn’t reach here? Not even a highlight? Well, don't you worry.” Icy could feel the tendrils sliding up her legs and beginning to tighten. “Your world will find out... quickly enough. A pity you won't be around to...” A longer pause, this time, as another large tendril emerged from the kitchen and slithered through the hole in the window, carrying something Icy couldn't see, “behold it.”

“I'm sure!” Replied Truffle casually, despite the strain audible in his voice. “If only these things were a bit more brittle.” He emphasized the last word while looking Icy in the eye.

It only took a moment for his meaning to register, and another to gather the energy in her wingtips before she flapped them at Truffle's legs, the tendrils around them freezing.

The figure screamed as Truffle quickly smashed his way out of his bonds. “NO! Do you have any idea how badly the cold can damage my-” Icy felt the tendrils around her hooves start to tighten, threatening to crush them before they stopped. “No matter.” At the sudden change in the filly’s tone, the main tendril on her back, which Icy could now see all the others came from, slid out of the hole in the window. “No matter at all. I'll have to trim my plan tonight, but we'll meet again! That I guarantee. AAAAHahahahahaha.” And with that, the tendril yanked her out of the window, her laugh echoing into the distance.

Immediately, Icy felt her bonds shorten into nothingness. She looked down at her hooves, just about seeing powder fall in the moonlight. No doubt the same red powder as they had seen at the hospital, though she still had no idea what it was. One thing she did have an idea of, though...

“Truffle? That stuff she was holding us with? Was that...?” she looked at him, and he just nodded.

“Hair!” They said in unison.

Author's Note:

Credit for Chief Book 'Em's name goes to Darth Link 22. Admittedly, when I asked him for permission to use it, he informed me that he got it from the english dub of the Kirby anime. However, I was not aware of this and gained my fondness for the name from his stories, thus he gets credit for it.

Also, I've heard some people say that Pinkie Pie is difficult to write well. Personally, I didn't find her that bad, so I presume either that I failed at writing her and don't know it (damn you, Dunning–Kruger effect!) or that I might be closer to her mentality than I thought. Not sure how to feel about that.