Article written by Written Script
CANTERLOT- In what was an unexpected and unprecedented event, a saucer shaped object descended from the sky and landed in the west castle courtyard in Canterlot. Many ponies ran from the object but the unicorn guards surrounded the object with their horns flared up, ready to strike it. When the door opened, an orange skinned biped alien with a very ugly toupee descended down the stairs, followed by other bipeds clad in black along with another one with a camera. When the alien reached the bottom of the stairs it asked the guards to take it to their leader.
The guards did as requested with their horns glowing the whole time. When they arrived in the throne room, Celestia too flared up her horn upon seeing the alien. The alien claimed that it came in peace and that its society had been listening in on radio and TV signals coming from our planet, Equestria in particular and was curious about our society and wanted to get to know more about us.
Princess Celestia was unsure what to think of the alien and noticed that the aliens clad in black appeared to have objects that could be used against her. This did unnerve her so she summoned her daughter, who she knew would have no problems or regrets in putting them in their place to join them and watch them. When Princess Starlight arrived, her horn was glowing bright and the aliens became very nervous.
During the introductions, the alien identified itself as Domp. This brought out suspicion from our princesses but they allowed the alien along with its guards to join them on a tour of the castle grounds. Starlight in particular kept an eye on the aliens clad in black knowing that those objects they carried could be used against them. After the tour, the alien that seemed to be their leader challenged the princesses to a game of golf.
Our princesses agreed and while the alien claimed that it was a master of the game, it flat out sucked. The alien wound up finishing 26 over par which was pathetic compared to Princess Celestia's score of 17 under par and Princess Starlight's 22 under par. When the alien was throwing a fit, Princess Celestia couldn't help but laugh, "Damn, you're worse than an earth pony at this game!"
After throwing a fit and shouting a few profanities, the alien calmed down and decided to have a luncheon with the princesses where matters of warfare were discussed. The alien discussed these things known as nuclear weapons, which are rather popular in the My Little Human comic series with our princesses. He began to discuss how destructive the weapons could be and immediately our princesses knew that something wasn't quite right about the alien.
After a threat from the alien, our princesses ordered it and the other aliens to board their ship and leave Equestria forever. The aliens did as requested and took off. While Princess Celestia was certain that we wouldn't have to worry about them using these weapons against Equestria, Princess Starlight did not trust the aliens one bit. Once their craft got airborne, she fired a powerful bolt of magnetic magic at the craft, causing it to short-circuit and crash. When our princesses arrived at the crash site, it was discovered that there were no survivors.
When news was released involving the aliens, their meeting with the princesses and what they said, the nation was thrilled to learn of their demise. While Princess Celestia seemed to show a bit of sadness in revealing the news of the deaths, Princess Starlight was not in the same mindset. In an address to the nation she shouted, "Buck yeah, I taught those freaks a lesson! If any more of them come, I'll wipe them out too!"
Princess Celestia is a bit worried that her daughter may bring about an interstellar conflict but given Princess Starlight's powerful magic, most of the nation believes that she could wipe out any invasion from any aliens that may cause us problems and I for one think she could easily conquer any planet she wanted to on her own.
Bit of a nitpick, but I don't think you have a proper understanding of golf. The lower the number, the better. You got the strokes being a bad thing right. That's the number of times your club hits the ball. But you're supposed to get under par. The lower the number the better. For example, a 3 par would mean you have 3 hits to get the ball into the hole, if you take more hits, your scores goes up, which is bad. The lower the score in golf, the better. 18s and 19s would actually be really shitty scores lol.
Unless I'm overthinking this and you're saying they all suck at golf, which would definitely be a correct statement.
9562391
Ok, I know the lowest score wins. When I watch ESPN, they will normally show both their score, like -4 along with their stroke count (70 for example). That is where I got that from.
I haven't gotten to this yet, but I recall buying Weekly World News at the local supermarket. Man I miss it. I hope this story encompasses everything that made WWN so enjoyable.
9562462
Oh it will, I plan on doing plenty more, including more obscure ones. I remember one that, on the cover, showcased a story about a chair that had killed everyone who sat in it....and I'm planning on bring in vampire ponies and so much more. I have three more chapters written so far, and I plan on doing plenty more.
9562490
You've made me so happy right now.
9562520
I am happy to have made you happy. Whenever someone tells me that, I too am happy.
9562391
I altered the scores on the golf game to what they were over or under par.
I'm going to go on a limb and say that aliens, or anything, better not mess with Equestria. Princess Starlight doesn't play around!
9563993
Nope, if anything tries to mess with Equestria, Starlight will destroy them.
9573856
Yep, you did. I got the name from DOnald TruMP (Domp). I'm guessing the orange skin and ugly toupee gave it away as to who the alien was though, right?
9562391
I altered the scores to reflect over and under par rather than stroke count.