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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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9732616
Okay I'm writing the next chapter right now.
Get an Editor please
9850091
I don't know how to get an editor
This was a awesome and adorable chapter, I hope one of them get Celestia in there harem and that there will be harems.
And I'm done. I'm sorry I know I said I'd give the next chapter a shot, but this is more then I can handle. The Grammer is completely out of whack. The dioulge is mashed up. The pacing is too fast. The characters reaction is to unrealistic. And then there is the POV.
I'm sorry but you really need an editor/proofreader.
10337190
I know
They fall they don't react they instantly become knights with no question of why and instantly don't question Magic.
it just feels dead but it's just the start of the story I know that's very important and they don't explain anything and just go along with it instantly