Yes! Defiantly interested in ...'

did you mean "definitely"?

I don't want to sound overly critical, but the first half of the chapter is such a massive exposition dump, it feels a bit rushed.

Furthermore there is a certain dissonance in the language used. I don't think anyone who didn't grow up in Jane Austen's last bunker would refer to any part of ther anatomy as a bosom. Just a thought.

The amount of grammer errors in the story is insane. Along with the mixture of past and present perspectives from the "reader" makes it both slightly cringey and hard to read. Although the story is decent and I honestly laughed alot while reading every single error, it could definitely use a touch up or re-write. Dont get me wrong, it's a decent story which I mostly enjoyed, theres still room for improvement. I wish you the best of luck in any future works you come up with.

~TheManliestMustache~

Grammatical errors aside, I did appreciate the fact that the reader insert is an anthro pony. Too often the protagonist is a human that every mare inexplicably has the hots for. That, or one of the characters is a futanari.

So yeah, this was a refreshing change of pace in that regard.

Sequal please!

This chapter would be a lot easier to read if this guy didn't come off as a socially awkward 14 year old.

"B-Back breaking... You don't say," I commented, trying to avoid making more blatant innuendos.

C'mon, dude! Just let Sapphire get it off her chest, all right?!

"O-Oh, nonono ! I work quietly, and I don't regularly go out drinking or parties. I-I'm pretty chill!"

Drunk ones can cloud the writer's mind

Her gaze had softened, an almost tender and motherly smile on her shadow painted lips. "It's easy for you to feel lost. You're so caught up in one thing that you can barely have time to notice your surroundings or when something is wrong. Yeah, being mindful is important, but the sheer joy and peacefulness you feel when you're in the zone are just as important. You just become so clueless or doubtful once you've realized what's happened, and it hurts you so much. And it's not fair that she made it out to be like that."

Are you saying it's his fault his ex cheated on him, because he was too busy with his own work to give enough attention to her?!

She would reach into her pocket and pull up a small purple pouch with golden like a string holding it in. Pulling on it, she opened to pull out a small purplish-pink crystal before handing it to me. "It's an Amethyst. It's good for when you feel lost and need some help finding yourself. No charge."

Soooo, do I ground it up and sniff it, oooorr...?

She winked and stuck out her pierced tongue. "Gotcha~ I don't need to know crystals and auras to tell someone's been ogling my tits whenever they get the chance."

If you knew already, then why the hell didn't you kick him out the first time you met him?!!

"Though I suppose I can't blame you fully for gawking at them. It's not your fault puberty hit me like a freight train at a young age. And no matter what I did to isolate myself from others, wither it be through clothes or makeup or putting up a bitchy attitude, I just drew more attention. And after some time, I just grew to love having the girls keep my chest full and warm. Not every day, Celestia blisses you with a rack that could rival her own~" she teased, letting them drop and bounce majestically in place.

Some dudes just love a feisty bad girl

"H-Hey, that's not it at all! I-I mean, how could I not!" I exclaim, surprised while my composure slowly fell. "Like my goodness. They're so huge! It's almost like any food you've eaten solely went to making your bust size bigger."

It's that or she has macromastia

"... Most men would die for a piece to see what supports all that flesh! To feel how soft and perfect, they must feel in the palm of your hands. To be able to lap at the teats in hopes that the sweetest milk may grace these lips! To have them wave and bounce around with such grace. To squeeze and caress them if only to relieve so much stress and tension from both parties! Like CHRIST LADY ! YOUR BOOBS ARE SO AMAZINGLY BIG !" I loudly exclaimed while I was left panting as if the weight of the world had finally lifted from my shoulders in finally just coming out to say it.

Calm down, William Shaking Spear!

"Let me tell you a bit about me," She said, her tone low and dark with a hint of silky softness. "I was bullied a lot in school because of this body. Many girls got jealous. I drew so much unwanted attention from the guys and called me a lot of things. Bimbo, Gutter whore, bench slut, you name it, I've was called it. And for a while, it would hurt me so badly. My self-esteem was in such a poor state; it sent me to dark places — thoughts about hurting myself to get rid of all this extra bit of flesh. But I got over it. I decided not to give a fuck about what anyone thinks of me."

Please tell me you don't have scars on your chest!!

"So hearing you gush about my breasts... It's depraved, but it's also comforting in a sense. It makes me very happy to know someone thinks highly of my body not just for tit sakes, but finds me beautiful."

Honestly, I don't hear how's that different to what the perverted bullies talk about you

"Ohh, your white aura's flaring up, which is good... though it's somewhat dim. Probably from the negative energy that bitch of a girlfriend left behind."

I hope you're not talking about his dick!

"Trust me, I've seen and had bigger, but this is the perfect size you want to have when it comes to sex. And the fact that your ex couldn't see that is mind-boggling. Whatever, though, more for me~!" And with that, she set to work me up more by slowly licking her way towards the tip of my cock, sucking and playfully nibbling the head before she licked back down. This motion continued while she groped and felt up my leathery sack, making me moan soft and airy sounds. The sucking noises and sloppy kissing she was made only increased the fire burning in my loins while her hand stroked all that saliva around my length.

(Un)fun fact: Women are more likely to have one-night stands (and are more likely to cheat on) partners with very huge penises ( because there is NO way she can take on wide girth so for too long, especially in a marriage)

Big Tiddy Goth GF for the win!

Niiiiiiiiice

Hey! This is nice!