Great start. You have a lot of potential here.

A very interesting start. I look forward to what the future brings. Take as much time as you need to flesh out your ideas.

Also I love the title of this chapter. It sounds like an epic one-liner from an action movie.

Hey, this is a pretty interesting read. Not bad for your first story.

Wow this is amazing. I'm on the edge of my seat and I can't wait till the next chapter.

This is nice. I like the story.

This is pretty well written so far got a few mistakes that plague even more veteran writers like using "here" instead of "her" or even towards the end at:

...no one knows who or let alone what it maybe and that their...

When the words "may" and "be" were jammed together. Overall for a first attempt at writing it was pretty high up there for fanfiction.

Gripping my head with one hand, I finally managed to get my eyes to open and what I saw made time feel like it just stopped for a moment. "Where did I.....how did i get here!?!" I mentally shouted as about thirty two hundred meters out was what looked to be some kinda of bright sunny kingdom right in the middle of this frozen wasteland.

When i see this quote i IMMEDIATELY Know your going to have potentials!