Captain Goodking and the Nightmare Knights

by Leondude

Chapter 13 - Goodking Day

Goodking woke up screaming from what he just experienced. When he woke up, he was still in his royal golden bedroom. While he now has a massive headache, he was relieved that it appeared to be just a bad dream.

"Trouble sleeping, your grace?" a deep but raspy voice asked. Naturally, seeing who it was shaken Goodking up a bit.

"Eesh! Anyone ever tells you it's rude to sneak up on people like that?! Anyways, it wasn't much. Just a bad dream."

"Ah, I see. Maybe it will give you something to talk about when Lord Dapperpaws comes over for dinner"

"Didn't he already do that?"

"No, he didn't."

Goodking looked at General Snake suspiciously. He could have sworn that his dinner with Lord Dapperpaws has already happened, courtesy of Trixie appearing out of thin air to have a private chat with Goodking.

"Well, could you tell him to cancel? I'm intending on freeing all the people we enslaved."

Snake just rolled his eyes at Goodking. Goodking then felt a sense of deja vu. And since he apparently knows what's going to happen, he planned accordingly. And what better way of gaining his former slaves' approval than by throwing a great big pizza party. But before he could do that, he had one more thing to do.
"General Venomous Snake, you're fired!"

Snake just gave Goodking a confused look. Did he really just fire someone who has helped him through his many conquests. Perhaps he read somewhere that by removing wicked officials from his presence, his throne will be established through righteousness. Naturally, Snake just thought of that assumption as a crock of horse apples.

"With all due respect, your grace, do I really look like I'm ready for retirement?"

"No, which is why I'm firing you!"

"I admit, that one was clever, but don't you think you're acting irrationally?"

"If I want the people to love me, that means getting rid of anyone that the people don't really like."

"And what makes you so certain they will like you?"

"I'm freeing them, restoring their lands and giving them free pizza! Why wouldn't they like me after that?"

"Perhaps some of the slaves are lactose-intolerant."

"Then I'll give them Goodking brand lactose-free cheese."

Snake just put a hoof to his forehead and groaned. While he's not even going to ask why Goodking would produce lactose-free cheese, let alone dignify what he said with a response, he won't deny that one possible reason for the existence of the cheese was so certain slaves don't gas themselves and other slaves to death. So as Goodking prepared for the pizza party, his first order of business was to literally kick Snake out of the castle onto a truck of manure, much to Snake's displeasure. It became evening and Goodking, his big furry minions and the slaves he just freed are all busy enjoying themselves in a quiet little bar. Well, the bar used to be quiet until they started celebrating themselves with pizza and cider. Since that the bar was not part of the castle, clearly it was not filled with gold. It may have been filled with liquid gold but that's not as valuable as actual gold. It was filled with wooden chairs and tables, all occupied by everyone from freed slaves to Goodking's foot soldiers. Everyone was busy enjoying the merriment. But alas, it was not meant to last. When no-one was looking, a dark alicorn with a starry mane and a pair of blue snake-like eyes charged a blast of magic directly at the bar. Goodking managed to get a glimpse of the alicorn out the window and only had enough time to recognize what was coming his way.

Goodking woke up again screaming. Same as last time, he was still in his royal golden bedroom with General Snake keeping an eye on him. However, in spite of the "nightmares" he kept suffering from, he still persevered. It proved to be a costly mistake since that every single time he tried free the slaves or make any positive change in his kingdom, it literally blows up in his face. In fact, every attempt eventually became worse than the last. He had a war with the Abyssinians, he once fell on the great and powerful Trixie's horn by accident, he tried taking on the alicorn himself only for the alicorn to levitate him and snap his neck. I'd tell you more but there's only so much death and misery you can fit into an E rated story. Honestly, he was this close to giving up. Until suddenly, for a brief moment within the darkness, he saw a familiar face.
It was Luna

Author's Note:

Hey, it's Goodking Day!
Now you gotta pick up the phone!
Hey, it's Goodking Day!
Can't you just leave me alone?!
It's Goodking Day!
It's Goodking Day!
I ain't picking up the phone on Goodking Day!
It's Goodking Day!
It's Goodking Day!
I ain't picking up the phone on Goodking Day!

PS: I was paraphrasing this BTW: