Captain Goodking and the Nightmare Knights

by Leondude

Chapter 6 - The friend your friend needs

Capper walked casually walked, jumped and crawled through whatever spaces in the labyrinth he can find. When one has spent an inordinate amount of time in Klugetown stealing from people and running away from anyone he's in debt to, one does learn how to take shortcuts in the most unlikely of places. While doing his thing, Sacanas suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"Impressive, I guess you can even say purrrfect! Haha! Somepony stop me!"

"Woah, didn't your mother ever tell you it's rude to sneak up on people?"

"My mother abandoned me in a distant land."

"Yeah, I can see why surviving on your own can mess someone up."

"Oh don't worry, I had a very loving and caring centaur look after me and.....teach me....magic......b....be....fore.....I'mgonnaneedaminute!"

Sacanas then produced a hanky (or hoofky I should say) and proceeded to wipe the tears welling up in his eyes and then blowing his nose in it, something which grossed Capper out a bit. Then Sacanas breathed in and out and pulled out a pack of cards.

"Anyways, pick a card! Any card!"

Capper then rather carefully picked a card from Sacanas' hoof, especially since that was the hoof he was holding his hanky in. And on the card, he saw himself living like a king.

"The king of spades, and trust me when I say you got fortune in spades!"

"What's the catch?"

"GASP! Capper! I'm shocked that you think I'm doing all this with an ulterior motive! You make it sound like a dark magician can't be generous every now and again! I'm not some brute who lives for destruction like my departed apprentice! But in order to get such riches, you will have to complete this maze. And to do that, you will have to jump up twice, then crouch down twice, then go left, then go right, then get to a sign labeled Point A, then walk over to a sign labeled Point B and by Celestia you would have a new life as promised. Maybe even more than just the nine you've got if you're lucky"

While Capper was very suspicious of Sacanas, especially since the last time he accepted betraying his allies for a life of luxury was with Princess Eris, he decided to go along with it anyway just to see what Sacanas would do. Once Capper was out of Sacanas' sight, Sacanas giggled to himself while looking at the King Capper card.

"Come to think of it, there is one catch" Sacanas said quietly "And that is you will have to climb your way to being king! Ohoho, aren't I tricky?". But before Sacanas could continue giggling to himself, he noticed Discord lying down on one of the hedges behind him with a bored expression on his face.

"What do you want this time?"

"Oh, nothing much. It's just I noticed on the invitation you given the Nightmare Knights ended with the phrase 'Somepony stop me!', which you just so happened to repeat when making another bad pun. More evidence of your unoriginality, I suppose."

"What can I say? I want to make it my catchphrase whenever I make the worst puns known to ponykind. After all, I am a bad guy, so I don't see why I can't make bad jokes while I'm at it."

"You know Sacanas, I was wrong to accuse you of stealing my shtick."

"You are?"

"Yes. Instead, you're stealing my cousin's shtick. Well, except for the bad puns thing, everyone does that."

"Aha! But that's where you're wrong, because your cousin didn't use aliens as a diversion for our usual heroes while corrupting these losers now, did she?! Besides, don't you have to be chaotic somewhere else?"

Discord then pointed to the horned alien from Chapter 2 holding a big balloon resembling his laser sword, swinging his legs around while screaming "HELP ME!". Sacanas, noticing the smug look on Discord's face, just trotted off in an annoyed huff.

Meanwhile, Discord just walked out of the labyrinth before teleporting to Fluttershy's cottage to attend to her animal friends.

Author's Note:

Just when you thought the Jim Carrey references were exclusive to A series of unfortunate events that leads to another redeemed villain, yay!!