Umbra has never been good with Colts, but when her friends drag her out to a bar to get her some tail, she finally musters up the courage to talk to one. Only problem is, she chose Anonymous. An RGRE story
But.....if this is from Umbra's viewpoint why is it second person? And if it's Umbra telling the story, why doesn't the human have a name? It makes no sense for him to be called anonymous.
Um, with an established personality and name...wouldn't first person perspective be better for this story? "You" is a bit jarring when there is little to nothing vague about the character.
Especially if you intend on shifting perspectives.
I get the feeling the reason everygilly fails is because they never get to actually know him. They're after that D, end of story. And the end of theirs as well.
9812947 It could also be because he finds the idea of tiny pastel marshmallow horses putting on the tough guy routine adorable, rather than sexy. I know I would.
I am entertained. Jolly good show. Please keep it up.
Garbage at best...
Hah, loved this part
Anyways, in my opinion this has potential, keep on the good work☺
9427885
Dude, don't advertise your autobiography in the comments, thats spamming.
But.....if this is from Umbra's viewpoint why is it second person? And if it's Umbra telling the story, why doesn't the human have a name? It makes no sense for him to be called anonymous.
Um, with an established personality and name...wouldn't first person perspective be better for this story? "You" is a bit jarring when there is little to nothing vague about the character.
Especially if you intend on shifting perspectives.
Hey, what formatting tags did you use for the military report thing?
Also, mind if I use that idea? I’m -achem- asking for a ‘friend’.
Ugh. Second Person. Alright story, I'll give you a chance but know that you're on THIN ICE MISTER.
9433761
I never will understand the immediate distaste y'all bois have when it comes to second person stories.
I'm havin' a good time
9441408
Your not the only one by the way the story is going. ^^
9435572
I'll never understand why theres distaste for any story cause it's first, second or third person.
Badass on the field but shy vs other gender. I like it
9428355
That sir is by far the classiest burn I have ever seen on this website ever.
I get the feeling the reason everygilly fails is because they never get to actually know him. They're after that D, end of story. And the end of theirs as well.
I couldn’t help but imagine Umbra’s friends all doing something like this when she was talking to Anon:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/2/7/236113__safe_artist-colon-valcron_trixie_animated_female_flailing_frown_looking+at+you_mare_pony_solo_the+plan_unicorn_wide+eyes.gif
9812947
It could also be because he finds the idea of tiny pastel marshmallow horses putting on the tough guy routine adorable, rather than sexy. I know I would.
Cuteness overload! Diabetes inducing adorable Batpony mare! Im sold
For some reason this came to mind when Anon ordered drinks...
Kinda funny to see the roles reversed 👍
9427885
I don't think I've ever seen so many dislikes on 1 post before. Lol