Ballistics of Romance

by Cytotoxin

Monday - Experimental Physics

Twilight looked over the device on her worktable. She felt both right and wrong in the same time. Right, because she proved her theory correct - it was indeed possible to launch mnemomatrix as if it were a cannonball, teleporting into the target location precisely. And whole process required only a fraction of concentration and fine-tuning that limited the range of teleportation spells so. With this device, she could teleport right into Canterlot or Manehattan in a matter of minutes - compass, sextant and logarythmic ruler provided her with everything necessary to calculate the ballistic trajectory.

But there was also wrong. Wrong, because she hoped to revolutionise the transportation of Equestria, to make the trains and chariots obsolete. Instead... Instead she found out that she was likely the only pony in the world, aside from princesses, who had the oomph to spin up the ballistic teleport. So while she indeed found a way to perform long-range teleport, it would be available to her, and her alone in the foreseeable future.

Time to put her device to the test. She carefully wiggled into harness that secured the device around her body, slipped padded vest and kneepads on, then put on helmet. Still, even with all the precautions, she felt the need to have someone safeguard her - just in case. And who would be better for that then Rainbow Dash? Carefully, she trotted out of library, heading for Dash`s cloud home. With any luck, she`d be napping.

___

That was indeed the case - Dash was napping. After she was done laughing at Twilight`s ridiculous getup, nonplussed unicorn explained the circumstances. Idea of magic experiments was certainly exciting, but in the same time worried pegasus, and she did not hesitate to let Twilight know that much - "I don`t know, Twi. Your, er, experiments can be fun, I guess, but I`m not looking to be a chicken. Seriously, Twi, that was whack thing to do. Squirt`s still craving birdseed at times. Birdseed, can you imagine that?" Sighing, Twilight pulled out her trump - "Help me with that, and I`ll take you to Wonderbolts show on Wednesday."

Judging by Rainbow`s expression, things just got 20% more interesting - "Whoa, Wonderbolts?... Uh, huh, wait, isn`t it in Cloudsdale?" Twilight nodded smugly, and pulled out two tickets out of her mane - "It is. But see? I have tickets. So help me, and we can go see the show the day after tomorrow." Rainbow Dash looked over the tickets and cracked a wide grin at Twilight - "Weeeeell... Sold! Whatever do you need me to do?"

"Well, I`m going to teleport around. Your job is to fly to the spot I call, and be ready to catch me in case something goes wrong." - unicorn explained, as she checked her gear for the last time, - "OK, to start with... That hill next to Sweet Apple Acres." Dash gauged the distance habitually, muttering - "Are you sure, Twi? That seems a mite too far to teleport." Twilight beamed - "Exactly, Rainbow! I`m testing a new type of teleporting. The long distance kind!"

"Alright... I`ll be there in a minute. Just one question, Twi... What kind of range you`re thinking of getting with this new spell?" - offered pegasus as she took to the air, hovering above Twilight. Unicorn chuckled - "Well, actually it`s not a spell, it`s a dweomer. See? It`s technically assisted arcane surge.... Oh, er, distance? Well... It depends on how well things work out now. If everything goes as I expect it to go, then maybe from here to Canterlot in one shot."

"Whoa! Alright, see you at the hill!" - Dash was certainly quick on the uptake. Twilight doublechecked her calculations, using sextant to measure the bearing, elevation and necessary magic impetus to attempt the first shot. She saw Rainbow Dash waving merrily at the spot. Time for the show. Twilight turned around slowly, aligning the horizontal notch with calculated azimuth. Carefully raising head, she aimed her teleport cannon with proper elevation and spun the spindle sharply with her magic. Space around her suddenly collapsed, then bounced out again - and Twilight found herself in the air a few hooves off the ground, landing on her hooves with soft "oof!" Flapping of the wings next to her told her she`s at the spot.

"That was AWESOME, Twilight! Not like teleportation at all! When you teleport you just pop here, pop there.. Not this time. It looks like you`re becoming a magic cannonball or something." - exclaimed pegasus, stopping next to Twilight. Unicorn turned around, her temple pressing to Dash`s for a second as she magically plucked Dash`s memory of the event and copied it over. Rainbow Dash by now was used to the procedure, weird as it was for her the first time she agreed to help Twilight in her experiments. Thankfully, it was utterly impossible to copy anything older then ten minutes this way - otherwise, Twilight would`ve probably never tried to learn the spell due to ethic concerns.

"Alright. Let`s try it again. This time, let`s see if I can manage elevation as well. I call the top of cliff over the quarry." - Twilight offered, as she processed the data from the first jump. Rainbow saluted and dashed off, leaving Twilight to calculate the trajectory. Soon enough, pegasus waved her readiness from above the cliff - just as Twilight finished aligning the trajectory. Wasting no time, she spun the spindle again, spacetime continuum around her collapsing and expanding again, as she found herself a yard away from the clifftop. Unfortunately, that was a yard to the side, not upwards. With a shriek, she fell, frantically casting the buyoancy spell. Sharp yank and wing flapping later, Twilight was standing on top of the cliff next to Rainbow Dash, both ponies panting and looking downward.

Twilight was first to break silence - "Thanks, Dash. That was a close shave." Pegasus nodded, her brash attitude suddenly absent as she muttered - "No kidding. I almost missed you. Let`s try someplace, um, bigger?" Nodding, Twilight pointed to the meadow next to Fluttershy`s house. "How about there, Dash?" - she offered, peering through the ocular of sextant as she began calculating another jump. Rainbow streak across her field of vision told her about Rainbow moving to the place.

"Heya, Twilight!" - exuberant shout almost made Twilight Sparkle topple off the cliff for the second time. She turned around, heaving a little sigh - "Pinkie. Hello there. What`s up?" Pinkie`s face lit up as she offered cheerfully - "Oh, I just wanted to see how you`re doing! I was cleaning my party cannon and suddenly I thought about you and.. here I am!" Twilight nodded thoughtfully - "I see. Actually, Pinkie? I have two things I wanted to ask you about."

Pink pony sat down and pulled horn-rimmed glasses out of nowhere, perching them on her nose comically - "Professor Pie is ready to answer all of your questions, Twilight Sparkle!" - she offered in a low voice. Twilight chuckled. "Well, first... Do you want to have some sweets together tomorrow? I keep hearing about the blueberry pie you`re now selling at the Sugarcube, but I had absolutely no time to go try it yet. This should be fixed, I think." - she posited, giving Pinkie an earnest smile. Pinkie Pie returned it tooth to tooth, exclaiming - "OOh, sure! I`ll make us mors and... and... um..."

Pinkie`s hindlegs suddenly drummed against the stone. In the same time, Pinkie`s face fell. "...Ooh, I`m sorry, Twilight." - she offered miserably, - "I just got twitchy-twitchy-twitch and it means you can`t make it tomorrow." Twilight`s face took on a far-off expression as she quickly recalculated her projected schedule - "Hm. I can`t make it, you say... Well, alright. How about we do it on Saturday instead?" Pinkie`s face lit up again with a wide smile - "Ooh, yes, sure, that works! Oh, oh ohhh, I`ll make something extra tasty!"

Twilight chuckled - "Saturday it is, then. Now, the second thing?... Pinkie, grab my tail." Blinking at the unusual request, Pinkie Pie chomped down on Twilight`s tail, waiting eagerly for what was about to follow. Twilight spun her teleport cannon again. "WEEEEEEEEEE!" - apparently, Pinkie Pie quite enjoyed new way of transportation, if her excited yelp was of any indication. Both of them arrived to the spot right above the meadow and went down in a pile of limbs and giggles, much to the amusement of Rainbow Dash hovering nearby.

"Wowie-zowie-powie-kablooie! Twilight, what was that? What, what WHAT?! It was awesometastic!" - hollered Pinkie, jumping around Twilight excitedly. Twilight, for her part, stood up and brushed herself off with as much dignity as she could master, answering proudly - "That, Pinkie Pie, was my latest invention. Teleport cannon. With the help of this neat device I`m no longer limited to just a few paces worth of distance - no, now I can teleport clear across Ponyville in one go. Uh, unfortunately the gain of range comes at expense of exorbitant torque needed to spin up the primary vortex, so, uh... I`m the only one with magic strong enough to use it, aside from princesses."

Sighing, Twilight pulled her helmet off and shook head, letting the mane flop around freely. "Well, that`s it for today, Rainbow. I got the feel for it, and now I know what to adjust and what to leave as is." - she offered, as she gauged the distance to the library. "...Um. What`s going on?" - that timid voice, without a doubt, belonged to Fluttershy, whom just appeared out of her cottage, - "Oh... Did they prank you, Twilight?" Fluttershy cast mildly disapproving glance on Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.

"Hm... nope! But thank you for the idea! C`mon, Dashie!" - and with that, Pinkie Pie grabbed surprised pegasus by the hoof and dragged her into the bush. Twilight waited five seconds, then kicked the bush open. As she expected, there was no trace of Pinkie, nor of Dash, despite the fact it would be quite impossible to get out of bush without being noticed. Sighing, she turned to Fluttershy, offering her a tired smile - "Pinkie Pie. Can`t understand, but can`t dispute either."

Yellow pegasus smiled back shyly - "She`s not doing that on purpose, Twilight. She`s just being Pinkie Pie." Twilight nodded, as she set the helmet down and turned to face Fluttershy properly. "To answer your question, no, it`s not a prank. I`ve been experimenting again... And you know that safety is important when you are doing something nopony ever tried to do before." - she explained seriously. Fluttershy nodded quickly - "Oh my yes, that`s really responsible of you, Twilight. And courageous too. I`d never dare to try something like that."

Twilight, almost in spite of herself, puffed out her chest proudly... and then deflated with a soft sigh, as she recalled her plans. Convenient coincidence, too. She smiled at Fluttershy - "Well, experimenting is fun and important and all, but... I wouldn`t want to to it all the time. Sometimes, I just want to relax with a cup of tea and good book. Speaking of which... Fluttershy, would you like to come over to my place on Thursday? Princess Celestia promised to send me some Bastian Rose Tea for tasting, and I could really use second opinion." Pegasus blushed faintly - "Oh, I`d love to! Though, um, is that OK if I come in the afternoon? I`m not sure I can clear an entire morning."

Lavender unicorn lifted her helmet and placed it on her head snugly, responding - "Actually, I was going to suggest that myself. Call me old-fashioned, but I do believe that five o`clock is the best time for tea. Oh well, it`s settled then. Thursday, five o`clock, at the library." Fluttershy giggled demurely, nodding - "Thank you, Twilight. Oh, should I bring something for the tea?" Unicorn paused, mulling things over. "Well... Maybe you can pick some sugarlump biscuits at the Sugarcube Corner. I`m sure they`ll go well with the tea. Other then that, no, I think we`re all set." - she offered after a few minutes of consideration, nodding - "Now, though, I really need to get back to library. It`s getting stuffy in all this gear."

Nodding, Fluttershy waved at Twilight, staring in amazement as unicorn concentrated and used her device again, disappearing in a blink of an eye. Shaking her head, Fluttershy trotted back into her cottage. It was easy to forget just how powerful Twilight really was... up until the very moment when she`d casually perform a miracle like this. Fluttershy was well-read, unlike some of their other friends, and she was well aware only exceptionally gifted mages could teleport at distances beyond few yards. To see Twilight warp all the distance to her library? Even though she used some kind of device for that, the capability to do that was nothing short of outstanding - outstanding enough to awe Fluttershy completely.

Back in the library, Twilight pulled off her helmet, then unbuckled and cast off kneecaps, tossing the vest over them haphazardly. It was rather warm day, and being outside in padded gear made her coat sheen with sweat. Hurriedly stripping remaining gear off herself, Twilight trotted into the bathroom, leaving her stuff here and there over the floor. She`d pick everything up after the shower, she promised to herself.

Unfortunately enough, when she exited the bathroom, fresh and rejuvenated, she was met by a foot-tapping Spike and neatly folded safety gear. Her experimental device had been placed on the table. "Sorry, Spike." - she offered, looking sheepish - "I meant to put everything in place, honestly, but I needed that shower first." Little dragon continued to tap his foot, his eyes unrelenting for a few seconds more. Then he sighed and chuckled - "That`s alright, Twilight. I`m your assistant, after all."

Unicorn still felt sheepish, however. "Still, it wasn`t very right of me to just toss things everywhere." - she offered in contrite tone, opening the gem chest. It was a mistake, to be sure, but Twilight had pretty good idea about how to smooth things over with little dragon. She rummaged through various gems, finally coming up with a piece of lapis lasuli. Spike noticeably perked up as he spied Twilight carrying the gem back to the bathroom. She came back a few minutes later, holding the stone in telekinetic grip.

"OOh, water infused? Thanks, Twi, you`re the best!" - proclaimed Spike as he grabbed the stone with both paws and took a hefty bite. According to dragon, enchanted gems compared to regular ones as an icecream would compare to a glass of milk. In short, they were a tasty treat - particularly so if the element helped to mitigate the weather conditions. Given that it was summer, refreshing watergem sure tickled his fancy.

Having had squared things out with her assistant, Twilight levitated the fresh parchment on the table and started jotting down Weekly Checklist. First of all, she wrote down each day. Then she penned in Teleportation Experiment, Success for Monday and immediately checked it off. Skipping Tuesday, she penned Wonderbolts Show at the Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash for Wednesday, Tea at The Library, afternoon, Fluttershy for Thursday and Blueberry Pie at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie for Saturday. For Sunday, she penned in huge question mark. That left Tuesday and Friday. Tentatively, she penned in Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack for Tuesday and Canterlot?, Rarity for Friday.

"Well, things start to shape up." - she muttered under her nose, rolling up the scroll. That grand experiment would bring her a whole new understanding of the magic, friendship, and love in general, she hoped.

Comments

[Gabriel LaVedier]

I like where this is going.

[Cytotoxin]

1021836

Heh. The thing is, I`m not sure where this is going, to be honest.

[Cytotoxin]

1022535

Nah. I have my reasons.

[Aridifolia]

Another great start of what will likely be an excelent story!

Liked and faved; keep up the good work!

[Dusty Sage]

I'll happily read anything involving "exorbitant torque."

[SIGAWESOME]

Small typo:

compass, sextant and logarythmic ruler provided her with everything

Should be logarithmic.

Your writing has a very strong accent which made parts of it a bit hard to follow, but I love the premise of this story and your unique take on the Slice of Life genre.

The teleportation cannon reminds me of Unreal Tournament's Translocator gun. Hopefully it does not telefrag things too close to the destination point... Also Pinkie Pie's Party Cannon + Twilight's Teleportation Cannon = Tactical Long Range Party Strike?