Twilight Sparkle is at it again. Having just finished a big project, she finds herself capable of teleporting long-distance. Unfortunately, she is the only unicorn powerful enough to actually use the method she invented. Still, success is success, and she allows herself to devote a week to her personal project.
That project being - defining the logics of romance. Will be she able to use the acute powers of her mind to achieve the successful romance, or will her efforts embarrass everypony within blast radius instead? (What do you think, huh?)
Chapters (6)
I like where this is going.
1021836
Heh. The thing is, I`m not sure where this is going, to be honest.
1022535
Nah. I have my reasons.
Only you, Twi....
A great read.
1025320
It ain`t over, yet. ^_^
1025346 I figured.
Though the question arises, will AJ start thinking about this a little TOO much after Twilight takes her leave? Perhaps even reconsider her proposal?
1025363
As cheesy as it sounds, read on to find out. Once I post the next chapter, that is.
(Well, factually... No, not likely. AJ can admit she feels hot and bothered from Twilight`s teasing, but she is also well aware her fancy ultimately lies elsewhere.)
:1025425 Ah, shame that. :ajsmug
1025446
I do have some ideas involving AJ and Twilight, so I might give that pairing a swing eventually.
Also, early hint. This story has a good deal of parallels with another story on this site. (No, not by me.). As I get to the culmination, it would be more and more clear what I have in mind... but I do wonder how soon people will notice with this hint.
So is it with Rainbow Dash?
Another great start of what will likely be an excelent story!
Liked and faved; keep up the good work!
1025950
If you saw the clues, next chapter`s gonna be all about Dash, so... I guess you will find out pretty soon.
Ah Twilight, approaching romance from a scientific perspective, always a fun troupe.
1027728
Yeah, well...
Dammit, I`m itching to say something, but... spoilers.
I came here to see what the pairing would be. So now we have Straightjack. Rainbow might also be straight for comedic effect. I know what my preferred ending is but I really want to see where this goes.
1035468
And who do you project?
1035575
Project? Don't know. Not enough data is available. My PREFERRED conclusion is Pinkie Pie, but that's just me
1036097
Well, at the moment I can`t confirm nor deny this publicly. ^_^
It`s a possibility, that much I can say with certainty.
1025462 As a supporter of AJ/Twi, I approve of AJ thinking looooong and hard about Twi's proposal.
Though I still wouldn't object to some Twilestia (my favourite pairing) if you feel like heading in that direction.
And that story you're hinting at wouldn't be 'Romance Reports' by SleeplessBrony, would it?
I'll happily read anything involving "exorbitant torque."
1053426
I don`t think so.... Hrm, NO, most definitely not that one.
As for Twilight/AJ, I have some ideas on backburner, but... not going to promise anything. I have tons of ideas, but most of them never make it past idea stage, sadly.
As for Celestia?... I am rather cautious about invoking her - Buddha paradox tends to be particularly unforgiving in case of good-natured deities.
1053510
There might be more torque as the story unfolds. Maybe. Not sure yet.
1053739 Shame.
No? Guess I'll have to keep guessing then.
On the AJ bit, I'll just keep hoping. 
Perhaps.
Though as an Immortal, Twilight's relatively young age would likely be immaterial to her. 
1053795
I question not the age difference, but Celestia`s capability to actually be in love. In it`s most basic form, love is a need, and divinity is characterized by waning needs - truly omnipotent being has no needs whatsoever, not even the need to exist.
1053823 Ah, I see.
I see your point, though I'd have to respectfully disagree.
In my opinion, just my own naturally, I'd say that Celestia has time and again demonstrated her love for Twilight (romantic or otherwise) through her actions.
I'd say that Celestia likely delays, or even outright defies the 'emotional numbing' of divinity through her connections to those closest to her.
Luna, Twilight, Philomena, etc. Though, as I said before, this is just my opinion. I'm not trying to poke holes in your story if that's the way you wish to take it. 
1053885
Oh, I don`t doubt that Celestia can make sure Twilight feels loved. The question is if Celestia herself has any reason to escalate this relationship. As things stand, it`s entirely up to Celestia to decide if she should forever be a mother figure to Twilight or if she wants to amend that into romance. Try as I might, I can`t see why Celestia would want to go through with that change.
I`ve also considered the vice-versa - Twilight developing a sharply romantic feeling towards Celestia. That is plausible enough, and I can see Celestia deciding to humor Twilight Sparkle by spending the lifetime of aforementioned Twilight as her lover. The problem is that sooner or later Twilight would figure that out.
Lastly, I`ve tried to picture Celestia as a being given to passions enough to actually be capable of falling in love - the consequences of such were so awful that I`ve erased the file and solemnly sworn not to attempt that again.
1053938 Then I respect your opinion.
Our views on this matter will likely never change, but I respect how much time and thought you've obviously put into this particular matter.
On the subject of your aborted Twilestia attempts, I suspect that perhaps the idea just doesn't seem plausible to you in any way? If ever I try to write anything I really can't bring myself to believe in, it almost inevitably ends poorly.... Usually with myself looking like an idiot in the process.
1053993
I do believe that romance is a concept that requires equality, and as hard as I tried, I failed to conceive any arrangement that would permit for Celestia and Twilight to be on equal footing.
Status quo posits Celestia as Twilight`s mentor very firmly, and with it in effect, nothing worthwhile could be garnered.
Considering the possibility that Celestia might be actually not too far from Twilight - that was the abortive attempt I`ve erased. It was pretty much a "no, it`s not possible, she`d a`splode the universe long before now if she were that fallible" case.
I`ve tried to envision vice-versa scenario - where Twilight is elevated to be on equal footing with Celestia. However, even if Twilight were suddenly an alicorn, it would take a couple hundred years for her to approach the level on which Celestia operates daily - it is indeed necessary to see several generations be born and die to actually grasp the concept of reality`s frailty.
I do have some notes on rather dark cases of Twilight gambling with powers way beyond what Celestia would deem safe for her - as a logical consequence of lovehate she develops from understanding Celestia could never reciprocate the simple romance as it were. I`d leave those ideas dormant for a while, tho. Dark matter is best when it`s aged properly.
At first I thought Twi got drunk on that black salt stuff(maybe even high)
But sometimes I love being wrong cause what happened is much funnier.
HAHAHA! Twi's confidence can give Iron will"s a real run for its money.
1055647
Slightly different things. Iron Will`s confidence trainings were all about "my way or highway" kind of attitude.
Twilight`s supposed more to be "I fear not the experiment" kind of confidence.
Spike, look at the upside. She wants you to babysit, which means she thinks your responsible and good with kids. This is a good sign for you!
Well if she want's um sweet my guess is for Pinkie as well. Can't get much sweeter.
Spike is going to feel so betrayed come Friday.
1058139
Maybe not. Clever Twilight is clever.
___
As for "thinking you`re responsible", it`s a very BAD sigh for a would-be suitor. Heard the term "friendzone"? The way things are going, Spike`s hurtling in that direction so fast it hurts to even look at it.
1058805 That's actually a popular misplaced belief. For a long term relationship, the friendzone is a great place to start. It gives you a chance to actually learn about her, her interest, and her friends. It gives you the opportunity to show off your strong points and actions without making it seem like your just trying to just get in her bed. The key is being able to up the ante. The "friendzone" persona most people think of involves the guy (or girl) never really making romantic gestures. Never taking the leap, because they end up fearing it'll ruin the friendship. Spike make's romantic gestures, and Rarity at least seems attentive to them.
Most people just can't handle the scenario well.
1058919
My personal experience suggests otherwise.
If designated "male" enters the friendzone, s/he already provides all the benefits of dating without asking anything in return just yet. This is a glaring mistake - designated "female" will NOT be happy about any notions about paying the piper. On the contrary, s/he will stalwartly resist any and all attempts to amend the situation. Any attempts to turn the situation into relationship will be met with sabotage.
In the end, it comes to the good old law of supply and demand. You have to posit some kind of reasonable demand for your supply - that is the basis of mutual effort. If you present your supply at no charge, it`d damn well better be absolutely unique and necessary - otherwise, you will be expected to continue provide at no charge and any attempts to receive even the nominal fee will cause a situation where any supply, even at most exorbitant demands will be taken over yours, as a way of punishing you for attempting to "cheat in" a fee that wasn`t there before.
1059024See now I watched my best buddy in High School becomes friends with arguably the prettiest, smartest, and most talented (well the combination of the three at least) girl in the school. She turned guys down all the damn time. Never even seen her date before. And he spends about two years as her friend, doing little things for her and making his interest shown without making it glaring. Out of nowhere he ignores her for a few days, at which point I'm having a fling with her best friend cause between the two of them we spent time together. Suddenly without him there all she can think about his how much she misses him, as I heard from her mouth and her best friends. He comes back and shes fawning over him, my fucking minds been blown. Not even a week later and their going out on there first date. They've lasted three years now, past graduation. So maybe it's the girl, or maybe it's how it's played, but it does work.
1059087
Missed important details here. As in, being capable of walking away. That capacity is the crux of what decides if it`s friendzone or not. Another important note is "never dated anyone". Chances are that they were quietly dating throughout the two years and the whole dramatic "first date" was just a public reveal.
A little example of bone fide issue.
1059320 Trust me on this one, I've know the guy for years. He ain't the best poker player if you catch my drift.
1059347
Trust you? Hah. Don`t make me laugh. Trusting an optimist is a prime way of getting screwed over.
No, it`s out of question, I know you not - and it`s equally likely that it`s not your friend who`s transparent, but you who`s not a good judge of character.
___
Also, we`re getting noticeably sidetracked by this topic - especially so by personal anecdotes. For future reference - yes, friendzoning can be broken, but not without effort. When I refer to friendzone, I`m talking about a case of psychological abuse, not "touching friendship between man and woman".
1060795 I'm a pessimist, but I won't argue with results.
I'd probably be a tad insulated, if I actually gave a damn
Yes we did. My main point was that she's not treating him like a little kid.
1061961
Well, then we have no argument. I`m not saying that friendzone is unbreakable - merely that it`s common and rather... unpleasant, both to witness and to break.
1062259 Fair enough. To be fair, that's what Twilight is trying to do in every case here. Not very successfully either. Of course, her decision to attempt to break into a relationship is kind of random, as in, she didn't really have strong romantic feelings for them in the first place.
Another fascinating chapter. Your unique views of the other members of the cast are interesting. Especially asexual Dash. I had an asexual best female friend and now that I think about it, she acted a little like Dash. And I guess that means Gilda is free to date other ponies. I hear Trixie is single.
1062351
Not even close. For a decisive friendzoning, the one-sided attraction HAS to be obvious to both parties involved. As things stand with Mane 6, none of them had exhibited any obvious sign of interest in each other so far, so Twilight`s blindsiding them one by one. Sooner or later they will start comparing notes, however - it`s pretty certain Rarity would know the score on Friday, and I`m not even sure about Saturday.
1062515
It`s very... common trend to see Dash as the libertine of the group - her personality does suggest she`d be the one to get into sex early, if the notion occurred to her. However... I like to think of other possibilities. It seems plausible to me that Rainbow Dash might have no sexual drive to speak of - she sublimates through the flight, it`s her only real passion. She is often thinking about Sonic Rainbooms, and it`s not too farfetched to think that this is what replaces orgasm for her - the breach into different aspect of physics, careening on the jagged edge of rainbow. Certainly sounds like a great rush feeling to me.
1062575 That's what I was saying.
1062755
No, you weren`t.
This tidbit is patently false.
It also occurs to me that you somehow lump friendzone and friendship together. Which is absolutely horrible thing to do. I don`t know how to state it any clearer - friendzone is a case of ABUSE. Abuse, ok? None of that happens between Mane 6, but it`s one of the possible outcomes of Spike/Rarity, because both of them are actively encouraging the movement in that direction.
1062799 Well, I was referring to the advancement of friendship, so in a sense you'd be right there, into romance. However, I did make it clear that this progression was being attempted without previous romantic interest or tendencies. Which was how I was stating, it wasn't a friendzone situation. And while I personally would like Spike and Rarity to happen, I do agree Spike could end up screwing himself, or Rarity could screw him, and not in the fun way. Still, call me a romantic, but I'd like to see him prevail.
1062876
Not gonna happen without some drastic changes. Most of all, in Spike. It`s easy enough to amend Rarity`s fancy to include adolescent dragons in, but Spike? He`s a problem. Puppy crush is not a good start for a meaningful relationship - which means that even if Rarity is amenable to the idea of being with dragon, Spike has a LOT to learn and to change about himself before it might be considered a plausible connection.
For future reference on positive outcome, peruse Like Fine Wine - it contains one of the most plausible cases of such.
1063016 It's a great fic, favorite personal clop fic of all time, but it's also a pretty shitty overall situation. In the end Spike won the day, but it's quite late in her life. Sleepless did a wonderful job expressing the bitter-sweetness of the end. Spike's ties as Twilight's personal bodyguard is going to keep them apart even further.
Spike is advancing in maturity in the show. His actions in the Owlicious episode is a complete opposite to Dragon Quest. Secret of my Excess is another good perspective point, he gives Rarity the Fire Ruby of his own volition (the story board writers actually explained at one point that Rarity's "flirting" was just a dramatization by Spike). While this falls under your giving freely point, Spike does receive a reward of affection. Equally important in the episode is when Spike is absolutely crestfallen over his transformation. Rarity is the only one who seems to notice, and instead of leaving him to wallow as she very well could of (let's face it Spike wouldn't have changed his feelings for her. In fact, with the way he felt, he wouldn't of even blamed her, and therefore, your continuously getting without receiving would come into play), she takes it upon her self to cheer him up and again kisses his cheek. In Dragon Quest, Rarity flips out when Spike declares that he's leaving, commanding Rainbow Dash to, "Quick do something, stop him before it's to late." Now this behavior might be expected from Spike if Rarity was leaving for a unspecified amount of time, but not Rarity, not in your belief that Spike is falling quickly down the slope of friend-zone abuse. Sure you could argue she just wants her wiping boy, but Rarity is the strong dependent women type. She doesn't rely on Spike. It could be assumed that the only reason she gave in so quickly to him leaving is because she knew they were going to fall them, being the first to bring it up. Let's face it, there's no way a perfectly calm and in her right mind Rarity would think that costume was one of her, "finer creations".
So while you see their chances going down, I see them going up.
1063167
And this is why you can`t trust an optimist.
OK, the situation with Fire Ruby? It`s one of the early alarms for friendzone.
Spike DID mention the gem was artificial - he was aging it. Naturally occurring gems have the aging of centuries, they would not benefit from a few more months. It means that Rarity merely had to be patient - Spike could`ve grown her another Fire Ruby within a few months. Instead, she cajoles the gem out of Spike, being fully aware he was greatly looking forward to eating it (his birthday present to himself, mind). Normally, this would be a no-go situation. Rarity had nothing to do with gem to begin with, and Spike has good reasons to anticipate this little snack. However, Rarity values gem more then she values Spike, per ce, and so she obtains gem without considering that he`s giving up his birthday present. The bite is? Even if she were to have a change of heart and give the ruby back, Spike would be unable to eat it now - he`d insist Rarity keep it. In the end, as you could see, the question of returning the gem does not even come up. Instead, Spike is treated to a few trite and banal truisms. Not an adequate trade, if you ask me.
The RIGHT thing, the loving thing for Rarity to do would be to shut the ***k up and be quiet until the birthday is over, and then talk to Spike about growing more Fire Rubies. It`s bloody obvious he WOULD give it up if Rarity were to express even a passing interest in having it - and the only decent thing to do in that situation for her would be to feign disinterest until he`d have his treat.
As for Rarity flipping out at the notion of Spike leaving in "Dragon Quest"? You just said it yourself. He`s convenient to keep around, simply because he is eager to help and does not require to be compensated for it. Think about it - if there was anything decent to speak of, Rarity would`ve had MUCH more tangible arguments for Spike staying then calling on Rainbow Dash. She gives up on this simply because appearing too interested hurts this simple and efficient arrangement - her game is to manipulate Spike into coming back, not beg him into doing that much. A token show of concern is all that it takes - the glaringly obvious fact that Spike has NO CLUE about how to be a dragon will make do of the rest. Migratory species always have a healthy dose of xenophobia in the group - helps to weed out the undesirable castaways of other groups. It was pretty much predestined that Spike would not be able to fit into the group with his views developed in pony society.