Ponies in Hogwarts [Edited]

by KittyrinnAiko

Chapter 39: Poop

“Wow, I mean wow.” Hermione offered as we walked down a back hall of the main Keep of the castle.

“I feel like I just escaped a Manticore’s den.” Nova offered. Goldwine was on her back, but he’d had enough of that meet and greet.

“Now I’m glad I wasn’t able to go to her majesty's garden party.” Rose groused. The three foals had grown weary of the ‘party’ shortly after arriving and had attempted to escape the first chance they got. The presence of guards in armor inspired them to make sure they didn’t get separated from the rest of the group. At the moment she was back on Scootaloo’s back, and Alya back on Alalme’s back. It had become rather obvious that the three were ready for a nap when each decided to get under hoof of their mothers.

When the opportunity came, they all escaped in mass. As for Harry, Harry and Airry had snuck out a long time ago.

“So… do we have rooms?” Scootaloo asked. “I mean while we are here at the castle?”

“I suppose I could always teleport us.” Nova offered. “I mean back up to the portal room.”

“You can do that?” Hermione asked astonished.

“It’s wizard magic that I don’t know, Hermione. Pony magic I’m kind of good at.”

“Kind of she says,” Sweetie said as she caught up to them. Poor Loki was still stuck with all the nobles as he’d no ready excuse that would get him out of there. “I know that was kind of rough, but I think she did that to assuage the curiosity of the nobles a little. - Anyway, you’ll be in Luna’s wing, second floor.”

“And passes, we are kind of going to need passes until the guard force has become a little more accustomed to our presence.” Scootaloo reminded.

“What happened to the one you had?” Sweetie asked. Sweetie is wearing her pass badge. Her experience with finding herself drafted into the household staff had taught her to be sure to have a pass on her whenever she was in Canterlot. She was also mindful to carry a small hoof bag with a few basic items to include a bit of change in case she felt like sneaking out for some of the more common fair which could be found downtown. Not to mention shopping. Any excuse to go shopping.

“I think mom’s got it. Not like I needed it.” Scootaloo mused.

“You’ll just have to ask for a new one.” Sweetie offered. “You are taller, more mature now. More – how should I say it – regal. And looking more mature, I think.”

“You mean all the awkward questions as to who’s the father, don’t you?” Nova asked. “At least I can honestly say I rescued Goldwine and don’t have to do a lot of explaining.”

“I don’t like telling every pony I’m a widow,” Scootaloo said softly as they stepped out into the front entry hall.

“It’s alright, I understand.” Sweetie offered while cautious to keep her voice down as well. “The tabloids will be pushing the limits of propriety as it is.”

“You have tabloids here too?” Hermione asked as they started up a grand staircase in view of what looked to be a tour group.

“As assured as death and taxes.” Nova offered. “Tell someone not to gossip and they put it in print so they can spread it to even more ponies or people as the case may be.”

“It’s alright, they are special guests,” Sweetie called to the two guards at the top of the stairs. From there they made their way to the Moon wing.

“By the way, I didn’t see any of those fancy saddles?” Hermione asked as she gazed out the windows that looked out over Canterlot. They’d turned down the front lounge that ran the length of the south wing. During legislative sessions, the area was often used for informal meetings by the few who had the privilege to be up here. The view was breathtaking.

“Hermione, Equestrian ponies don’t typically wear saddles and riding gear in public,” Scootaloo informed her. “Why do you think we were all giving Nova funny looks about having riding gear?”

“I don’t understand? I wasn’t.” Alalme said sounding confused.

“In Equestria, riding is typically an act done by lovers and foals.” Sweetie offered. “With the notable exception of period and or cultural dress.”

“Oh,” Alalme offered while blushing ever so slightly.

“Aww, come on!” Sweetie protested.

“We are of age. Sorry.” Scootaloo quipped.

“I think you’ve given Hermione a little too much education.” Moonie offered as she trotted to catch up with them. Hermione had turned beet red.

They were greeted a moment later by the massive black doors that opened into the Moon wing, two guards, and the doors were shut. Nova eyed Moonie suspiciously as she took Nova’s pendant and placed it in the spot that activated the door lock.

“You weren’t going to just pass into the door or something to unlock it?” Nova asked as the door opened.

“I think I ate too much.” Moonie offered, and then trotted on in.

“What’s your hurry?” Nova called.

“I need to poop,” Moonie called back.

“Since when?” Nova called.

“Since right now,” Moonie called back, turned, and passed through an archway.

“Since when does she have biological functions?” Alalme asked as they stood staring in the direction she’d gone.

“Maybe we should ask Twilight. She’s the one who made that particular portal.”

“Should we be talking about this in front of the guards?” Hermione asked.

“The portals are a security issue. They’ve all been briefed on what it is, and does.” Sweetie offered. “And they’ve been briefed on Nova’s amulet.”

The two guards gave us a curious look.

“Hermione, Moonie is, or at least was a magical construct, that much you know, right?” Nova asked, and Hermione nodded. “The spell that makes her work is contained in my amulet. Pooping is not something she’s programmed to do.”

“Well, she has been eating though,” Hermione said as though thinking out loud. “Where does that go?”

“She said she was converting the food into magical energy. How I can’t even begin to know.” Nova offered. “And it never stopped her from going intangible.”

“Perhaps she was storing up the material that couldn't be converted to magical energy, and there is a limit as to how much she can store?” Hermione theorized.

“You’re not suggesting she’s created a pocket of displaced space in my amulet for shit are you?” Nova asked as her mind worked to solve this latest puzzle.

“Well, that or she’s created a little pocket dimension.” Sweetie offered. “Might be that’s what she’s done, and it acts as a sort of bladder that expands. It can’t expand indefinitely, and the walls push back allowing only so much at a time before the strain of holding it forces her to dump it.”

“Yes, that would make sense. Otherwise, there would be no need for urgency.” Hermione added.

“By Jove, I think you’ve got it,” Rose said. Even she was curious about Moonie’s behaviour. “Wonder which toilet she’s assaulted?”

“Discord!” Celestia yelled. She’d just been given a rather bizarre report from the palace waste management manager in charge of the sewage. The system simply hadn’t been built to handle a discharge of Super bowl proportions. “Discord! Show yourself!”

“Don’t blame me, it was Nova’s toy pony that blew up the sewage system.” Discord offered as he walked past with a tray of goodies. He was also dressed much like a French waiter.

“Oh, hi… are we too late to meet every pony?” Fluttershy asked.

“They have retired to their rooms if you’d like to go see them,” Celestia said with a scowl on her face.

“Somehow, I don’t think you want to go back there right now.” Discord offered.

“Hi, Aunt Tia.” Nova offered as she walked up to Celestia. “I hope you don’t mind, but the foals are taking a nap on your bed. I’m afraid the Moon wings are going to need to be aired, and there’s a bathroom that needs replacing.”

“Don’t you mean a toilet?” Discord asked.

“No, I’m pretty sure the whole facility is going to have to be refurbished.” Sweetie Belle offered as she too joined them. “It’s pretty bad.”

“I must say, I hardly feel like I’m even needed around here.” Discord offered and then walked off.

Author's Note:

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Yes, I went there.
It's a shit post.
I'll make up for it in the next chapter.

Comments

[RenaTamer]

And suddenly the episode of Family Guy flashes before my eyes where Chris standing next to a treadmill, twinkie in hand happily stating "I'm going to turn you to poo!"...

Followed closely by a police station bathroom exploding from the Fast and the Furious 5.

[harts fire]

it looks like this chapter has blown up.

this is a grate story that i will be watching close for up dates.

[Teraunce]

lol heh.

[harts fire]

moony had to poop.