Fred Justice was just another junior student at Canterlot High helping out Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity until things started to go crazy. Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, and questions about his very origin come up.
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nice chapter great work, i hope to see more chapters in the near future.
This chapter was well written. I'm sorry to hear about you sick. I also want to thank you for writing, even though it takes time. It was time well used.
Happy holidays
have a speedy recovery and thank you for the fantastic story so far!
10485495
only one chapter a month? really that is cool, but usually regular updates only occur when the author has enough time on his or hers hands and enough of said chapter finished, for again said chapter to be published, i know this is just a comment, but i would like to un-officially rate your story, if thats ok with you that is?
context: 98/100
alure: 97/100
romance: 96/100
sensual content: 100/100
OVERALL: 321
10528983
Thank you for your unofficial rating, I appreciate it very much. What do you think I need to work on?
10519316
I haven't thought of that movie in a long time. Nope, nope, nope. But I do remember it. Yep, yep, yep.
10530597
you need to work on improving your story chapters with either more character interaction, (a), less character rambling,(b), or both, (c). that's just part one of what you need to work on, part two, is simple, and easy, capital letters in some sentences that need capital letters at the beginning either don't have them, they do have them but are not used properly or they don't have any at all. overall great story one i would recommend to be given either a tv-tropes page, or being featured on the front page of this site as featured.
10530599
*smiles* now that i think about it, there making a new one in September of next year, called journey to sharptooth mountain. i think about it now.
10547007
Thank You
10547142
your welcome
I wonder how Fred human friends would react to the things he’s done in equestria when that chapter comes up
10550411
Hey now, no fiar getting ahead of me. Seriously though, since I'm close to finishing this. I've been thinking about that very thing. The part where he returns to the human world during Rainbow Rocks is something I'm putting together. He has to return for many reasons. One of which would be to deal with Sunset Shimmer, but I don't want to give too much away. It won't be nearly as long as this one though.
The scene at the end was extremely sensual . . . But time and place! Getting an over the clothes handy during a presentation by a group that empathizes with your cause, is a little uncouth for a prince and his herd to do. If it was during a meeting with rambling, pointless nobles I could better understand, but this was kind of a big deal, politically speaking, and, despite the darkness, it would be near certain that VIPs would be keeping an eye on the royal box(not that kind of box, one for sitting . . .).
10993510
I'm glad you thought it was sensual, thanks for that. And while you're right about the time and place, that's why I had them do that at night where all eyes would be on the ceremony and not on them. Kind of like being in a dark theatre and fooling around in the back row sort of thing. I've always wondered how my readers thought about the sex scenes, especially if there are any female readers.