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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Sooo much was revealed and shown in this chapter. The sheer length of it kept me away for some time. I feel like this could have easily been cut into two chapters. And maybe the reveal of Amelio being Fear's sister could have been kept at bay a little bit longer instead of giving it a "by the way--" feel as the group went into the stable, where they just found out that Fear's grandmother was there, whose giving off some pretty bad vibes!
On to the next chapter.
10118366
Yeah. That was my mistake. I should've cut it at the intro and made it into two. You live and learn. I get a tiiiiiny bit better at this but not by much, later on. Where I cut the Abyssinia chapters of the second novel into three sections and the Denouement into 2 or 3 sections as well.
As for the reveal, I wasn't sure where to put it aside from that, because that was the most likely place it would finally 'click' for Amelio. She's a smart filly, just in denial up until that point when something seems so off the charts impossibly correlative that ends up having to take a second.
Hope you enjoy the next chapter! :D