The night of the Summer Sun Celebration, of Nightmare Moon's escape, a stranger appears to Twilight and her friends to offer them a way to change the future if they'll play his board game. Sounds good. The one catch? The game's perverted.
You know, I'm supposed to have people who are supposed to catch this sort of thing, and I may just quit commissions altogether if I keep making that same mistake.
Thanks for the encouragement. It is a little frustrating when I try to put out good work and discover there's errors in it, some of which are actually entirely my fault (though missing who fought the slime is something that I would hope a proofreader would catch ...). But I'm feeling better now. Besides, I can't quit; this is my only real source of viable income!
Contrary to what Cell things, perfection isn't possible. I would recommend rereading your chapter once it's done to catch any errors, run it through Word or Google Docs, see if they can catch any spelling mistakes though, that might help.
8958427 Most of my spell checking is from my browser. And sometimes I skim over details. And some things get missed because what your mind saw was what you expected. That last one is why proofreaders exist.
Nice beginning, but some of it seems a bit forced, and Discord hovering around them all the time is a bit bothersome for my taste. A good "GM" should guide the players not push them, so I hope he will take more of a background role after the six got into the swing of the game.
Wasn't it Rarity and Rainbow Dash?
I am loving this story. I eagerly await the next chapter!!
Keep up the amazing work.
I think you left in something that wasn't supposed to be posted.
8957463
Yes, I missed that in review.
Rob is going to hate that when he sees it.
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8957463
8957618
You know, I'm supposed to have people who are supposed to catch this sort of thing, and I may just quit commissions altogether if I keep making that same mistake.
8957644
noooo!!!!!!! don't. i want to see where this goes.
8957644
Come on, don't do that. Everyone makes mistakes. You're as human as the rest of us, mistakes happen. This is a fun story, I want to see where it goes.
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8958008
Thanks for the encouragement. It is a little frustrating when I try to put out good work and discover there's errors in it, some of which are actually entirely my fault (though missing who fought the slime is something that I would hope a proofreader would catch ...). But I'm feeling better now. Besides, I can't quit; this is my only real source of viable income!
8958421
Contrary to what Cell things, perfection isn't possible. I would recommend rereading your chapter once it's done to catch any errors, run it through Word or Google Docs, see if they can catch any spelling mistakes though, that might help.
8958421
8958427
Most of my spell checking is from my browser. And sometimes I skim over details. And some things get missed because what your mind saw was what you expected. That last one is why proofreaders exist.
Nice beginning, but some of it seems a bit forced, and Discord hovering around them all the time is a bit bothersome for my taste. A good "GM" should guide the players not push them, so I hope he will take more of a background role after the six got into the swing of the game.
8958888
Valid point. He should back off as they become closer friends. Won’t stop him from playing favorites though.
While I do enjoy this little story, there just some errors I can’t overlook in good conscience.
like this one
either the “to” leaves that sentence or “making” changes to ‘causing’, either way it fixes the problem.