Dear Faithful Student

by Muramasa

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
SEVENTY-TWO HOURS
SILVER JUBILEE

---

Every drop was torture.

With each labored step, my blood hit the ground below me with a soft plop. There was no point in a bandage, as the wound in my side was far too large to cover. I supposed that I could have at least wrapped something around my side to stop it, but that would take time: I was fortunate enough to even be able to walk at the moment, but I knew that I'd eventually collapse and be absorbed into the earth.

Celestia had likely already sent Equestria's very best after me. I was always taught that the first seventy-two hours were crucial in finding a missing pony. All those little breadcrumbs you leave will start to disappear after that, and it was assumed that the missing individual is likely in grave danger. After a few weeks, the investigation likely stops being centered around finding a pony and starts to be centered around finding a body.

They wouldn't even find that.

I was going to die very, very soon. When I expired, one of the trillion deadly animals in this forsaken place would probably deem me a wonderful meal, and just like that, Silver Jubilee would disappear. Assuming whoever Celestia hired to find me knew where to look -- and they wouldn't -- they'd still come back to her with empty hooves.

Thankfully, the Everfree was not pitch black at night. On top of bright moonlight, the fireflies of the forest did well to light it up, and so I generally knew where I was going as I traversed it. If it weren't for the forest's everything that was attempting to end my life, I'd almost call it beautiful: the ancient trees that hung above me gave me deceptively protective feeling amongst the hostility of the forest.

Despite its beauty, I shouldn't have come here. Any fool knew that: the Everfree Forest had a reputation as a death trap for a very good reason. I justified it by telling myself that I wanted to go to a place where nopony would ever find me and the bald-faced lie that I could handle myself in this place.

All of me knew that I may well meet my end in the Everfree Forest. A part of me didn't care.

I'd fended off parasprites, I'd bested countless Timberwolves and I'd dealt with two cockatrices, but by the time I turned the corner and butted heads with a fully grown manticore, my prowess and luck had run dry. My exhausted body had managed to kill it out of sheer necessity, but a massive swipe to my side that connected all too well ensured that it would get the last laugh.

I could feel my breath growing shallower by the second as I rounded yet another corner to nowhere. It was dark out, that was for sure, but I could still make my way around, and anything that wanted to finally finish me off probably would make that intention rather clear with me. At least the Everfree had that going for it: nothing here was going to lie to you.

I'd just been attacked, so my adrenaline rush had only just begun. My forelegs were all shaking involuntarily, making it a bit harder to walk, and that shallowness in my breath was getting worse and worse by the second. There would be a point where it would fade and the pain from my gash would begin to set in, but I knew I had at least a few moments until that happened.

I came to a long, wooden rope bridge after a short while. It looked relatively unstable and I knew I'd have trouble walking over it, so onward I went: if I tumbled down into the ravine it was crossing, I'd only ensure the inevitable was delivered just a bit quicker than expected.

It reminded me of home.

There was a wooden bridge that stood across the moat at Canterlot Castle. I used to run up and down it as a kid, letting Celestia watch me zoom back and forth with glee. I'd pretend I was a tyrannical foreign invader, and she'd let me conquer the castle and eventually slay her to claim it as my own. She was a horrible actress -- Celestia was far too genuine to be anypony else -- but she was certainly good enough for me.

I missed those days.

Those were the days of summer, and summer was always my favorite time of the year. It was when the school fillies and colts were only focused on fun and when the ice cold drinks tasted that much better, but most importantly, it was when the sun burned the hottest. I used to stand outside and lie on the grass for hours, letting the blades tickle me gently and the sun beat down upon me, basking in its warmth. And when my long days were over and I'd completed another lesson or learned another spell, Celestia would wrap me in a loving embrace, and it felt just the same.

Until one day came when it didn't.

The bridge was shaky as I took my first steps, but that didn't matter: I'd overcome tougher trials while I was here, and there was even a trial that I couldn't. My legs were already unstable, but with the rope to my right as support, I slowly began to crawl my way across.

When I blinked, I saw her.

A few yards ahead of me stood Princess Celestia, a stoic look on her face. She stared me directly in the eyes, piercing through to my very soul as she gazed. The bridge was wobbling back and forth ever so slightly, but she stood steadfast, moving not an inch as my already-lacking walking speed slowed to a crawl. It looked as if she had been waiting for me all this time, longing for me to stop and confront her, but I simply couldn't afford that. I couldn't stop moving -- the moment I did, I'd never move again -- but she'd reduced me to a weakened stagger as I clumsily advanced towards her.

"I'm dying," I shouted weakly, hearing my hollow voice carry ever slightly across the canyon below. "You're not real."

What I knew to be a hallucination said nothing, staring me down all the same. Celestia looked as vivid as she ever had, and I could even see her coat blowing softly in the midnight wind, but I wasn't fooled: I was bleeding out, and as a cruel, sadistic joke, my mind began to play tricks on me. As I passed by her at the middle of the bridge, she turned her head to face me, and our eyes met ever briefly as I stumbled along towards the homestretch.

I'd left her behind as I trudged along, but when I was just about to put my front hooves across the other side, the ghost spoke.

"You shouldn't be here."

I whipped around (still walking backward) only to find that Celestia was gone. I didn't have to look too far for her, however, as her voice quickly spoke up from behind me once more.

"You came here to die."

She was actually there when I turned back around again. This time, however, her visage was stern, and she had a knowing fire in her eyes. I found myself shaking my head as I walked towards her and when I answered, I could hear just how shallow my voice had become.

"No. No," I began, using slightly more effort to pick my hooves up. "No, that's not true." Even I knew how unconvincing I sounded, and Celestia sneered, clearly not impressed by my answer.

"Then what is it you tell yourself?" she asked me. I blinked, and she had moved from a spot on the side of the path close to where I was to the middle of it some feet away, right at the top of an uphill climb. "What are you running from?" I don't know why I was answering to something that clearly wasn't there (and likely only inviting another animal to finish me off), but I answered her nonetheless, the pleading in my tone evident even to me.

"Everything," I started. "The castle, my studies, my feelings, you. All of it." The guardian of the pathway shook her head again, and she walked backward to disappear over the hill. I quickly gritted my teeth and grunted as I slowly trudged my way up the incline, knowing well that the effort was only speeding up the bleeding out process. When I emerged over the hill, panting and coughing as I forced my legs to keep moving, I could feel my own eyes widen as I saw what greeted me.

It was once a beautiful castle, I knew. I could almost see it in its heyday, with gleaming pearl spires and steadfast fence to guard them, but that was nothing more than a dream now. The structure was dilapidated and crumbled, and only the brilliant double doors appeared to remain in one piece. Even they, though, were worse for wear, and I knew that it wouldn't take long before the Everfree claimed it as yet another prize in its vast collection of forgotten memories.

I'd never seen it before, but I knew what it was.

"This was yours," I muttered as I limped, watching the castle's structure grow bigger and bigger. Celestia began to walk alongside me with perfect pace, though her hooves made no noise as they hit the dirt path.

"The Castle of the Two Sisters, as they called it," she said. I tried to nod knowingly, but the action was interrupted by an involuntary wince: the pain in my side was slowly building, and I knew that it would only be a few minutes before it became unbearable.

The path to the front of the castle might as well have been a lifetime. Every step began to shoot pain through my body, and the bountiful air around me put out by the millions of trees began to feel not enough. It took absolutely everything in my power to keep my eyes open, and when I looked down at the ground as I reeled forward, I could see I'd made a path of my own in my still-dripping blood.

I was worried I wouldn't have the force to enter the castle, but when I reached its front steps, I was relieved to find that wouldn't be the case. The massive doors were already open a crack, and thankfully, it was large enough that I could slip through them with very little effort.

The castle must have been rotting for a thousand years or more, but for it looked surprisingly steady for its condition (and unfortunate location). The outer walls were pretty much crumbled, but the base of the castle and some of the stairs and arches that made up its decor was were very much there, and I was certain that I could envision the servants and guards moving to and fro if I closed my eyes.

I didn't dare to.

Celestia, who had been standing beside me when I walked in, once again disappeared. She wouldn't have traveled far, and the next time I blinked, I saw her leaning by an archway that presumably led to a bigger room from where we were.

"I could die in worse places," I croaked, advancing towards her the best that I could. She didn't seem to want to hear it, though, and for the thousandth time in the last few minutes, she stared me down with a scathing sternness.

"No, you couldn't," she began. "Nopony will find you. You know I'm probably crying myself to sleep right now like I have been every night. Like your parents and your sister and your friends. And even when the crying stops and they move on with their lives, they'll spend the rest of it wondering in vain what happened to Silver Jubilee." I found myself shaking my head again, but it was no use: even when I replied to her, my words came out hollow.

"No," I began. "T-That's not what I--"

"That's not what you meant?" spat Celestia, watching me as I passed under the arch she'd been sitting by. "Not what you intended? Not what you wanted?" The arch had led to the castle's throne room, and once again, she disappeared. In another flash, I saw her sitting upon what I knew had been the seat of her power in days long past: the sun emblem above her chair was decaying and fading, but it was just brilliant enough to make out.

I stumbled towards her, and I could see my vision beginning to tunnel. I simply didn't have the steps left in me, and so I headed towards the throne to the right of her that formerly belonged to her sister, Princess Luna. The pain in my side began to sear, but it hardly compared to the pain in my heart as Celestia continued to talk to me from her throne.

"You knew just what would happen by coming here," Celestia said. "The souls you'd crush. The torment you'd cause. And you ran away anyways. You didn't even leave a note." I could feel her gaze burning into me as I sharply inhaled with every step of the stairs, taking liberal pauses with every level. "Why?"

"Because I'm a coward," I spoke. My own voice was unrecognizable, and I could physically feel myself deteriorating as I limped to Luna's throne. I was about to sit down, but I quickly noticed a slew of strange objects that had apparently been placed upon the seat.

There were candles burning brightly on the throne's handles. A pattern had been inscribed on the seat -- I couldn't quite tell what it was and I didn't want to give the effort to try -- and it appeared to glow faintly red with a magical influence. There appeared to be hair on the seat, an array of amber and stark white locks, and a half-full vial of what looked to be slightly discolored water tucked away in the corner.

While I would normally be very adverse to be sitting on what appeared to be strange magic and hair, I didn't particularly have a choice, and the jar of what looked to be either tears or sweat wouldn't have impeded on my ability to take a seat. It certainly was extremely disturbing that something or someone could have been here moments before I arrived, but I was far more than half-dead at this point and didn't care about the means to which that end would be reached. I plopped down on the chair, and though my body instantly thanked me, I knew the gesture was fatally deceiving.

"Because I couldn't bring myself to face them. Because I thought it would be better for them to never know what happened to me than to find out why I left." The blood from my side had slowed a bit, but it was still dripping steadily onto the chair, and so I pressed the right side of my body against the armrest in an unsuccessful attempt to stop it.

"You've been lying to yourself," Celestia said. "Why did you leave?"

Maybe this apparition had appeared to force me to make peace with myself before I expired. Maybe it was nothing more than delirium from blood loss. Maybe I had created it for some other weird purpose.

But as much as I thought I was ready to, I did not want to die alone, and so I gave my reply with all the strength I could muster.

"Because I was unhappy," I said softly. I could feel tears running down my eyes as I spoke, and I was almost surprised that I even had the strength to cry at the moment. "Because I was being taught friendship and I just couldn't feel it anymore. Because I no longer wanted to be your apprentice, but because I still wanted to just as much. Because... because... "

The show was over, and I was being ushered off the stage. I was beginning to lose feeling in my limbs, and that tunneling in my vision was twisting narrower and narrower by the second. I turned my head to Celestia, who had entirely disappeared from her throne: I knew she wouldn't come back. There were a thousand more things I could have said as to why I'd snuck out in the middle of the night and abandoned all that I had built and lived my entire life, but as the very last of my lifeline was fading and my tears and blood dropped to the seat below me, I managed to croak out a final string of words before my eyes forced themselves to close.

"Because I loved you," I whispered, letting them shut for the final time. "And I couldn't bring myself to disappoint you."

In my final moments, I dreamt of Canterlot summers.

Comments

[PaintedPony]

Wow.

[Starlight Nova]

If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?

[Muramasa]

9586315
Violet has an accent in a bit of a high register, but it isn't shrill, and it's derivative of Luna's "Royal Canterlot" accent but a just a bit off from that. It's very smooth and pleasant.

Cobalt has a pretty rough Canterlotian accent, so you can think of a Cockney British accent, in an average register.

Silver has a very neutral voice that is lower than normal, and her voice kinda sounds cool and punkish, if that makes sense.

For Zephyr, I would imagine a voice that you'd think an accountant stereotypically has: it's mentioned a few times that one of the creepiest parts about him is how normal and plain his voice is, and that's kind of what I was going for.

[tsaukpaetra]

Interesting... Pattern pieces are coming together, but what was that rune arrangement?
Keep going! ;)

[whitemew]

I sure hope Starlight is ok.

[Spritzkrieg]

After over a year, the question only now comes to mind: were the characters in this story created for this story? Or did you come up with them beforehand, then designing a story around them?

There's not a right or wrong answer, I'm just curious.

[Muramasa]

9588663
These characters were created for this story. I knew I wanted five OCs, but I only had Violet, Cobalt and Zephyr really "created" by the time the first chapter published. Silver and Melody came later!

[Yutah123]

You know, I'm probably missing some subtle detail here that'll hit me like a train later on.

[Emperor]

So I'm guessing Silver loved loved Celestia in the end and ran away because she felt she wouldn't be able to live up Silver's own self-imposed standard, but I feel like I'm missing some subtext here that's more important than that. I suppose it's only fitting she dies in the Castle of the Two Sisters, though it's rather strange she chooses Luna's throne instead of Celestia's throne. Though I guess she also doesn't feel herself fit to be with Celestia so of course she avoids Celestia's throne.

I see the mention of the white and amber hair. Nothing particularly comes to mind, unless that's supposed to be either the changeling student Melody's hair who lived somehow, or maybe the presumed antagonist who somehow revived all of Celestia's students.

Still...I can't see many monsters actually going inside the Castle, which means somepony, at least the Mane 6 at the series premiere, would have likely found Silver Jubilee's bones. Unless her being the last student before Sunset and Twilight was still centuries away and not mere decades.

[Super Trampoline]

Damn.

[Super Trampoline]

Also wow I’m halfway through the story