Celestia of Equestria's tonic experiment

by Acologic

Day XIII

‘I bet you’re wishing you hadn’t made that bet now,’ said Tirek, grinning broadly as a DAG threw up from storage a fresh bottle of tonic and poured. ‘We went and proved it – the tonic was dangerous, but now that we’ve removed said danger . . . it’s case closed. I suppose this means you’ll soon be bowing to High Queen Luna.’

‘I’ll do no such thing,’ said Celestia, fiddling with her horn. ‘You forget it was the totem magic that was undone. The tonic may have lost a touch of kick, but its properties remain. Black-market-magic still poses a very real threat.’ She smirked. ‘It’s a shame you must die, Tirek. I’ve grown rather fond of you over the last couple of weeks. We could have been friends if things were different.’

Tirek’s grin grew. ‘But we are friends, of course! For what is an enemy but a friend with whom you love to disagree? We are not nemeses, no, no, no! You can only truly hate a person if you loved them once – and given that neither of us has ever . . .’ He cleared his throat. ‘That is the way of things, yet civility need never depart our capital interactions.’

‘Wise counsel,’ said Celestia, nodding. ‘Yes, I suppose we’ve established a certain camaraderie here. I’ll be sorry to see it go.’

Luna’s likeness announced itself with an ear-splitting crack. Celestia winced, and Tirek cried, ‘Proliferating parasprites!’

‘I don’t believe it!’ exclaimed Luna, dashing the air with a hoof. ‘Those villains at the Regal! Will they ever stop?’

‘What is it this time?’ asked Celestia, displaying more interest than she normally would. She hadn’t forgotten Luna’s behaviour during their most recent crisis and felt she had a debt to pay.

‘Slang Dunk’s been switched to a 12A, and it’s screening tonight! These box-office types! Money, money, money – that’s all they’re ever interested in! They don’t have to deal with fillies and colts crying out in the night, terrified on account of the movie’s miraculously approved adult scenes! It’s a disgrace!’

‘Quite,’ said Celestia. ‘Unacceptable is what that is, yes. Perhaps I could say a word?’

‘Would you?’ said Luna, sounding surprised yet pleased. ‘They might just listen, you know!’

‘Of course,’ said Celestia, smiling perhaps a little too easily. ‘I’ll see to it you rest well tonight.’

‘Thanks!’ said Luna, grinning. ‘I’d better go. There’s still time . . . see if I can convince them . . .’

She pulled out of T-Kam. Tirek blinked.

‘What the hell was that?’ he asked, watching Celestia frown.

‘Big-sister stuff,’ she replied briskly. ‘You wouldn’t understand.’

‘Try me.’

‘All right, then, I will. Put yourself in her hooves. This silly bet has gone on long enough. It’s irresponsible, dangerous, and my sister nearly paid big time on its account.’ Celestia sighed. ‘That’s exactly what Luna thinks.’

Tirek raised a brow. ‘No kidding.’

‘But she’ll come good, don’t worry. Once she realises I’m no longer in any immediate danger. And so long as I provide a suitable distraction –’ Celestia smiled ‘– I daresay the process will hurry itself along, which brings us to our little tournament.’

‘What’s new?’ asked Tirek, grinning.

‘I’ve been hard at work on the organisational front,’ said Celestia. ‘We’ll play elimination rounds, bracket-style. I’ve already spoken to a few of the inmates.’

‘And?’ prompted Tirek eagerly. ‘Who’s in?’

‘The con artist, the architect, the shammer – you know, your high-security lot.’

‘And what about the other one?’

‘Her? Not a chance.’

‘Right.’

Cadence’s likeness sputtered into being. She looked exhausted.

‘Sorry I’m late,’ she gasped. ‘Bit of – trouble – on the border – again . . .’ She curled up, panting. ‘Only just got away.’

‘Well, you’re just in time,’ said Tirek, raising his tankard. ‘Here’s to your border dispute. I hope things smoothen out from now.’

‘Thank you,’ mumbled Cadence. ‘Very kind.’

Tirek drained his tankard and smacked his lips. Celestia licked hers.

‘Do you know,’ she said, ‘I really could use a drink. I wonder whether Luna would join me . . .’

‘I would,’ said Cadence, wincing as she rubbed her sides. ‘It’s just –’

‘No, it’s OK,’ said Celestia, rubbing her horn. ‘Until tomorrow, then, you two.’

Tirek smirked as she pulled out of T-Kam.

Comments

[Pontiac56]

Well seems we're now moving from 'Celestia is about to die' to 'Cadance is about to get overthrown but rebels'

This story is weird, but very intriguing