Celestia of Equestria's tonic experiment

by Acologic

Day XVI

Luna pulled herself close to her cards. Celestia could tell she was debating feverishly inside her head whether to hit or stand. Sunset’s scowl gave nothing away. Tirek had just whitewashed Cadence three to nil. He’d made the final, which admittedly rattled Celestia just a tad. And here they were tied, one game apiece – this decided his opponent. She privately hoped Luna was as good as she claimed. Tirek could not be allowed any nearer the jackpot.

‘Hit,’ said Luna eventually. She took another card. Sunset’s eyes flickered upwards.

‘Stand,’ she muttered. They splayed their hands.

‘Eighteen.’ Sunset’s hand, two aces and a six.

‘Nineteen!’ shouted Luna, swinging around her ten, four and five like a – well, like a blackjack. Celestia ducked so as not to pick up a paper cut. Luna lost it completely and leapt onto the table, booting away the dealer’s deck.

‘Pick up fifty-two, you lot!’ she announced delightedly. ‘I win! I win!’ She brandished a hoof at Tirek, who gulped and tried to make himself look as small as possible. ‘You’re next! Just you wait, Tirek, old boy! I’m going to gut you for garters! Figuratively speaking, of course.’

Tirek recovered via choosing instead to direct his comment at Celestia. ‘Well, Your Highness, there you have it. I’ve played twice, won both. The final’s next, and once I’ve – well.’ He eyed Luna nervously, then cleared his throat. ‘Anyway, prepare yourself! I take it you’re a fan of the taste of defeat? Beguiling flavour! I do hope so for your sake, because that’s what the kitchen is serving!’

‘I hardly think so!’ sneered Celestia, though internally she felt quite different.

‘And I’ve had plenty of time to think about what I’ll be buying,’ continued Tirek, his voice brimful of maddeningly deliberate glee. ‘First I’ll have myself a sofa – and a television set, you know, to pass the time. And perhaps a bookshelf or two – one for fiction, the other for . . . other. And then the books themselves – well, I’m sure you shan’t begrudge me a title or two from the regal shelves of –’

His monologue was cut short by an almighty crash. Trixie and Suri cried out, Cadence choked, Luna toppled off the table, and Sunset’s scowl deepened. Panting on the floor, garbed in military motley and covered in mud, scratches and bruises, was –

‘Shining Armor!’ gasped Cadence, her eyes wide with mingled astonishment and worry. ‘What – what happened?’

Shining Armor’s likeness picked itself up and managed, ‘R-rebels . . . annexed Wilbur . . . couldn’t stop . . .’

And he was out.

---

‘Ready a dispatch to each of the nobles,’ snarled Celestia, ‘requesting levies and funds. Bring Fyrien to the castle, make sure he’s soundly debriefed! I want soldiers on the periphery at once! My Own Sixth Regiment, airborne cavalry, along with a couple of yours, Cadence. We’ll flush the beggars out, you mark my words! Luna? Convene a wartime meeting of the Closed Council! I shall summon Twilight.’

‘They’ve a small embassy encamped three miles north of the village,’ explained Shining Armor. ‘Their terms, I imagine, will be steep.’

‘Hang their terms!’ said Celestia furiously, fighting not to blast a hole in the dishwasher. ‘The insolence! The cowardice! Despicable cowardice!’ She paused, chest heaving. ‘Luna, Cadence, why are you still here? Get out!’

‘Right,’ they said together before pulling out of T-Kam. Celestia turned to the nearest DAG.

‘These prisoners are not to be moved,’ she said, speaking quickly and firmly. ‘They are not to do anything except stay in this room under lock and key until I return, which in light of these events could be a very long time!’

‘Now hold on just a minute!’ said Tirek, appalled. ‘What do you think you’re doing? We can’t stay here! We’ll starve!’

‘It’s a mess hall, isn’t it? Cook yourself a meal! I’ve more important things to worry about than your well-being! Oh, and by the way,’ she added, speaking once again to the nearest DAG, ‘make sure he keeps drinking that tonic! Crisis or not, this isn’t over!’

‘Wait!’ yelled all four inmates as Celestia’s likeness vanished with a pop and the DAGs formed a large, impassive circle around the room.

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