• Member Since 8th Mar, 2017
  • offline last seen 37 minutes ago

Acologic


absolute total madness

T

'So much of life, it seems to me, is determined by pure randomness.'

'Comradeship consists of rubbing shoulders jocularly with a competitor.'

A story of madness, coincidence, truth and mundanity, and all of it delightfully bonding.

Princesses Celestia, Luna and Cadence have long enjoyed subjecting their Tartarus inmates to a variety of gruesome tasks, including tiddlywinks and Monopoly. It's time to up the ante, however, for when a bet is struck between sisters, it simply must follow through. Enter the most extraordinary substance known to ponykind, aptly named, suitably avoided – Granny Fanny's Cold-Fire Brewed Filly-Delphian Tonic Water, with the Kick of Two Very Angry Mules.

Featured on Equestria Daily! (29 Oct 2018)
Reviewed by PresentPerfect! (15 Nov 2018)

Chapters (21)
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Comments ( 36 )

I look forward to Celestia getting her comeuppance.

You know, I’m not sure the Princesses have groked why Sombra had hidden that tonic water, especially if they did not also find an accompanying stash of gin.

Or a large colony of frozen mosquitos.

This is freaking bizarre, but I am intrigued to see where it goes

8810508
I'm glad you're interested, man.

...wtf is going on?

Don’t do it, Tia! You’ll end up betting the farm.

What will Granny Smith say when you lose Sweet Apple Acres?

8812766
Hehe, and she may well, that's the thing.

Ok I was suspicious at first but now I'm confidant that Celestia's cold is somehow directly connected to Tirek not getting any bad symptoms from the tonic.

Tirek's right. It's just weird without Celestia.

Hmmmmm????

So where's the gin?

I am distrustful if this.

Well seems we're now moving from 'Celestia is about to die' to 'Cadance is about to get overthrown but rebels'

This story is weird, but very intriguing

I'm curious how the hell Sunset got there, what the hell Trixie did that was bad enough she went to Tartarus, and was put there without a trial no less, and how Suri got a friggin job there?

8831812
Yes~. Curious is good.

8831821
... you're a cheeky one aren't you :trollestia:

8831835
Oh, most definitely.

WHAT IS GOING ON

... we’re not where I thought we were....

We’re not where I thought we were! Everyone, come quick! The truth is about to be revealed!

Is Granny Fanny related to Granny Smith?

I await for more nonsensical humor.

Oof and wouldn't Luna know about boredom, she didn't have anything to pass the time for 1000 years except, maybe, her hoof and..., right let's not go there.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

What the hell is a DAG?

What the hell is a T-Kam?

9295682
Aren't proper nouns delightful?

Edit: Also, what on earth brings you to these parts?

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

You sure took your time with this plot...

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I've never read a story more opposed to letting the reader in on what's going on, and yet you strung me along with fascination for the whole thing.

And what the hell is a DAG? D:<

9295773
I'm flattered you actually read this thing, my man. Didn't expect that, not going to lie.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

9296410
Hard to ignore a story with a description like this one. :)

9296588
Well, thanks for the read and review, bud. Real shot in the arm.

The thing this fic needed was a whole lot more time to flesh out its ending. A lot happens in the span of 2 or 3 chapters, compared to the ten or so just made up of everyday slice-of-prison-life stuff.

Generally, this weakened the ending and everything it could've been. You clearly have a knack for writing, but it takes diligence to slog through actual character building not to mention proper pacing.
The group of Trixie, Sunset, and Tirej were built up as a team, but then after they escaped that whole dynamic is thrown aside for the sake of rushing to the end as quickly as possible.

Was this a NaPoWriMo novel? That would explain a lot.

9303977
It wasn't a NaPoWriMo story but certainly written in a similar vein – daily updates for nineteen days. The story itself has more to do with creating a camaraderie between 'out-of-characters' than developing characters, but it's still a story... with characters, so... why shouldn't they be better developed? I see that. I do. This story, funnily enough, was going further and into some more serious development. BUT!

What I produced, although I felt that it worked and was nice on-paper... it defeated the purpose of the entire exercise.

This was all about tone and how a reader reacts when faced with that of the story. What I had written and planned for the future certainly killed/dragged changed the tone, albeit developmentally desirable. I realised the story had fulfilled its function. Extending it beyond its already relatively sizeable self would serve, I thought, to labour the point and the gimmick. And for that reason, I wrapped it up as initially planned and where. 20 chapters, 20 days. (And perhaps an upcoming illuminating sequel...)

Now, after writing all that, I realise it's only vaguely connected to your point. Do you know, I agree with you – the end comes a little too quickly when compared to the slowness of previous plot developments. My above reasoning had something to with that, I think. A chapter or two more – not to develop things as I mentioned above but simply to consolidate what has been created. Very good advice. (I wonder if it's not too late to have a bash?) Thank you for your comment, man!

9304152
So, you said that what you had planned for the future changed the tone somehow, away from what your original agenda for the story and its tone was going to be.
What was the original tone you were going for, and what were the elements of the story that shifted the tone away from that?
Are you talking about the war and all the political stuff that went down in the last few chapters?

Also, generally regarding writing: I've found in the stuff I've read that when comparing to my own attempts at writing, the speed at which you write is a whole lot slower than the rate at which the reader reads. So when trying to bring a story towards a certain event, i.e. the end, it's always best to take your time. What seems like unnecessary detail and fluff to you might provide the pacing needed to give an event the time it needs to properly be built up and be written well.

9305202
Well, as I said below, this sense of camaraderie shared between characters rather than their justification and justification of circumstances. Relying on heavy dialogue to create this atmosphere of the reader almost tagging along as the oddness unfolds. Functionally, the work as it is must feed the reader just enough to whet his appetite and have him read on, and in that, I think, I succeeded. I find it hard to describe any work's tone, if that is indeed the preferable word. When I use it, I refer to the overall 'feel' of the piece – what you come away with emotionally(?). That which is created and impacted by everything? I'm not sure. I did, in case you ask, intend to shift the (sub)tone(s)(?) here and there, the black-market-magic plot and ending, for example, being two points at which everything becomes more grave.

The direction was more serious plotlines, certainly those regarding war and conflict. The intention was to return, eventually, to the old ways, the slice-of-prison-life formula, as you said, after a journey – and then keep going a little longer if it seemed appropriate. But what I had sounded far too serious, which I believe would have warped negatively the story's overall mood. Think of it, perhaps, as introducing a new taste that doesn't combine well with what you have in your mouth already.

But this is good, solid advice, this. Thank you for it. I'm just starting out at a higher level and have much to learn. And you're bang on with those speeds there. I'll certainly keep that in mind as I tackle Frontman.

... What the hell even was this story? :rainbowhuh:

9340791
Hehe, that's the reaction we want to see.

I am not quite sure what to make of this story. It feels rather disjointed and in medias res like it is a sequel to an established universe series or the middle few chapters from a larger story. There are a few plot threads that are introduced, but they are left 'as-is' and never really get developed. There is an intriguing undercurrent of a black comedy where Celestia, Luna, and Tirek play games and make wagers with the lives of mortals simply because they are bored immortals looking for a friendly evening game of cards, but the plot is never exploited...

Meh. Not really my cuppa.
:applejackunsure:

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