The Wild Man

by Luckless

Chapter 10

Author's Note:

So sorry about the delay. Started working about 35 hours a week and trying to get in shape don't really mix well with writing. Neither does a computer that keeps randomly shutting off every few minutes. Nevertheless. Here it is! I'm not dead!

Somewhere in New York:

It had been a long day at work, 8 hours of running around like a chicken with it's head chopped off in a deli, and he was ready to drop into bed, and go to sleep. Which is exactly what he did. He'd been working nearly every day just like this, and had stayed up all night several times within the last two weeks to ensure he got to the early morning shifts on time. How he really wanted to have a day off to write, but the overworked man couldn't catch a break.

Nearly an hour into his slumber, the human was visited by a certain pink pony. Being as quiet as she could, she tip hoofed over to the comatose human, and pounced.

"Luckless! Wake up!" She roughly shook Luckless, waking up violently. He grabbed the knife off of the nightstand, and his eyes darted frantically around in the darkness.

"Who's there?"

"Me of course! Pinkie Pie."

"Huh?" Luckless turned on the lamp, and saw the pink pony now standing on his bed by his feet, "What the fu-?"

"No time for swearing! It's time to get back to work!" Pinkie grabbed his laptop, and shoved it to his lap.

"How did you- you... You're a cartoon character, how are you here in my room?"

"That's not important. What's important is you writing your fanfiction again! You've been AWOL for weeks!"

"No I haven't! I've been working on- wait. Hooow do you know about the fanfic? I haven't told anyone I'm even a fan of the show, much less that."

Pinkie Pie gave him a grin, "My Pinkie Sense."

Luckless stared. Not only was Pinkie in his room, but she knew about the fanfiction. A cartoon character with 4th wall breaking abilities, has broken through all the laws of physics and logic, just to tell him he needed to work on a fanfiction.

"Damn it. Alright, fine. It's been too long anyways. A few lost hours of sleep will be worth it anyhow."

"Good! Now get going. I'll know if you stop. And then she was gone in the blink of an eye, back to wherever she came from.

Luckless sighed, opened his laptop, and got to work.

Brian

Admittedly, I wasn't feeling all too good. I wasn't really thinking when I stormed into camp, so I grabbed the first thing I'd laid eyes on. A bottle of 80% alcohol by volume potato whiskey. Unlike it's Russian counterpart, this drink left a mean hangover, which I'd slowly built up a mental resistance to. It still made me feel miserable, I just didn't fully acknowledge besides that it was there.

While I'd been drinking, I thought that I'd seen the ponies come to apologize to me, and I was imagining it. Turns out, no. They really came by, and they stayed the whole time I was asleep. I couldn't decide if I was pissed that they had directly ignored my wishes, or to be impressed that they were this committed to seeking forgiveness.

When Midnight showed up, everything seemed to improve, at least for me. I instantly just felt... better. Happier.

"Sooooo, I take it the meeting went well?" She asked.

I shrugged, "I guess so. Want something to eat?"

She laughed, "Don't you know it!"

I smiled, and went over to the tree I'd stored the meat in. I climbed it quickly, retrieved the bucket, and dropped back down to start cooking. Of course, the uninvited guests were curious about what I was making. They looked a little green after I told them, and even greener once I started grilling it. Fluttershy looked like she wanted to be anywhere other than here.

While the meat cooked, I brought out the bean-bag-chair that Midnight seemed to like. She settled down on it, her smile beaming as she hummed happily. While I tended to the meat, Pinkie Pie, out of all of them, seemed to grow curious over the grilling food.

"What does it taste like?"

I didn't really have an answer for that, "Well, uh, I don't know how to describe it besides that it tastes like meat. I mean, you can add spices to make it taste differently, like add barbecue sauce, hot sauce, lemon pepper and a bunch of other stuff."

"How about cupcakes?"

I blinked, "Uh, I don't think so."

"Have you tried?"

What the hell is this? Does she not know or is she... ditsy? "You haven't eaten any meat, have you ?"

"I actually have! I was in Griffinstone and Gilda gave me this HOT soup. I drank it and was like '*BLEH!* what is this?'. and she was like 'venison soup' all grumpily, and then-" I stopped her right there by shoving my hand into her mouth. Her rapid fire talking was giving me a headache. Seriously, she spoke for only 4 seconds, and already I wanted to plug my ears. It wasn't that I didn't like her talking, it's just with her voice and how fast she was talking, I just... couldn't take it.

"Pinkie, when you tried the soup, did it taste like it could be made to taste like cupcakes? Yes or no."

I took my hand out, "Not really, I mean it just tasted so weird and unnatural."

"There's your answer. My people have had nearly 200 some years to make cupcake flavored meat, but no one has managed. Besides, it would taste... wrong. Meat isn't supposed to taste like that."

Obviously uncomfortable about talking about this, Twilight cleared her throat, "Right! Well, let's talk about something else, shall we?"

I grunt, "Yeah, like what?"

"Like gettin' you inta Ponyville. Ponies are scared witless about ya. I heard some talkin' 'bout formin' huntin' parties tuh capture you." Applejack says.

What the fuck? How did that come around? I barely spent a few hours out in public, and even then I doubt any of them saw me. Makes me wonder though, why didn't Midnight tell me? I decided not to ask her about it, "And how do you think bringing me to town will solve this?"

Twilight took up the mantle of explaining this impossibility to me, "If they can see that you aren't all the things that they think, they'll stop fearing you!"

"And parading me through town is the best way to do that? Sounds like a good way to get a black eye, or start a riot."

Twilight chuckled self-assuredly, "Oh please! Ponies wouldn't be that bad."

"You're right, they wouldn't be that bad."

"Exactly!"

"They'd be worse. I'll be lucky if they don't kill me."

"Hu... what? How'd we go from black eyes to killing you?" Twilight asked.

"Twilight, I've had a long history of observing people. When a group of people are together, and they're all afraid of something from rumours, the rumours get worse, and they'll take the most drastic action they have to combat what they're afraid of."

"Right, but these are ponies we're talking about. Come on! You can't seriously want to live in the middle of a death trap you're whole life!"

I shrug, "That was kind of the point. No one goes to where they think they'll die. Best place to hide."

They stared, dumbfound and horrified looks on their faces.

Before they could answer, I announced, "Meat's ready Midnight." I'd cooked a meal that Midnight seemed to find her limit to eating, three large portions of venison that would have lasted me a week or two.

She gave me a big old smile, and a pony version of a bear hug, but putting all her weight on me since she couldn't balance right. It was an odd, sort of awkward hug. She was ridiculously taller than me, so when she hugged me, my face was pressed up against her bulging belly, and she was squeezing me against it. But hey, it was fine by me, she was like a giant warm teddy bear. Then she descended onto the grilled venison, eating like it was the first meal she'd had in weeks, which I knew wasn't true. I'd fed her myself.

The ponies all recoiled, sickened over seeing a pony actively eating an animal. Rarity all out fainted (where'd that sofa come from?) and Fluttershy looked ready too. Everypony else looked away excent for Pinkie, who looked longingly at the grilled goodness.

Within a minute, the food was gone. Midnight sighed contently, burped quietly, and went back to the bean-bag-bed with a satisfied smile. Once there, she pat her distended belly a few times, and dozed off.

"Oi, she could eat me outta house and home with how much she can put away." I observed.

"Then why don't you ask her to eat somewhere else?" Rainbow asked.

I actually thought about it for a second. No really, I did. First thing that came to mind, was that she was like me. Couldn't eat just vegetables and whatever else they eat, so she was malnourished, and I wanted to help. Another was that she was a really close friend. My only friend in fact. Then out of left field, came the thought, and she's kinda cute too.

I didn't even get the context of that thought. Just those words, "she's kinda cute". Was is sexual? Was it innocent in a "AWW! Look at that cute puppy playing with his mom!" way? It actually bothered me that I didn't know the answer to my own damn thoughts.

I looked at the ponies around me, looking expectant, Oh shit, I forgot to answer! "Well, she kinda needs my help. She has a diet like mine, and your people don't take too kind to it. Plus, she's the only real friend I've ever had. I'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe and happy. Even go through with your crazy bullshit."

Only after I saw Twilight's eyes light up did I realize my mistake, "Me and my damn mouth."

Hours later

I swear, one of these days I'm going to learn to shut up.

I screwed myself twice over. One, I'd given Twilight the idea to get Midnight to pressure me into going. The other mistake was to cook more meat for Midnight. She'd barely digested anything from the previous meal, and was now so full, that she was getting winded from walking. WALKING! I just... I can't... eugh.

Now, I have a pony on my back. A pony who was bigger than me on all fours and now filled up with a load of food. I was hunched over, trying to keep all hints of stress subdued and unnoticeable. At the same time, my legs were screaming in pain, and I was repeating a mantra to myself to keep moving. Don't stop. Keep moving. Don't stop. Keep moving. Over and over I told myself this, trying to keep myself from stopping. I really should have been in better shape. I carried deer with less trouble, and often too. Why is this so bloody hard?

"Hey Brian, ya doin' alright?" Applejack asked.

"Yeah, 'm fine."

Applejack gave me a look, like she was both suspicious and slightly confused, "Ya sure? You look a bit... exhausted."

"You can put me down if you like. I can make from here." My heart fluttered a bit when I heard Midnight speak.

"Nah, I'm perfectly fine, unless you want to walk on your own."

She hummed in thought, "Well, if you're offering a free ride, then I think I'll take it."

I snorted. Don't really know why that was funny to me, but it was.

The journey continued for another mile or so, and I was really feeling the effects. I couldn't feel my legs from the knees down, and everything else just hurt. If that wasn't enough, my head was swimming in an oddly lethargic pleasure. Finally, we were at the village outskirts, and not a moment too late. I thought my knees were gonna buckle.

I set Midnight down, and asked Twilight, "You're absolutely sure about this? What I've heard the townsfolk say about me isn't too flattering."

Twilight snorted, "Oh, I'm sure Rainbow got them to see reason. They should all be in town hall waiting for our arrival."

Rainbow Dash, getting others to calm down? Right. I can see this going SO well. I took out my flask, and downed a little bit of whiskey to help my increasing nervousness calm down a bit.

"Ya think drinkin' right now is a wise thing?" Applejack asked.

"Probably not, but it's helping me calm down. I know I don't express myself well, so I'm telling you right now. I am outright terrified. Here I am, walking into a town full of people who are terrified and likely to get into a frenzy, without my guns, not trying to sneak, in DAYLIGHT, and hoping everything goes alright. Every nerve, which has never been wrong before, in my body is telling me to run, and I'm going against that because you two," I pointed at Midnight and Twilight, "because you asked me to. I NEED something. And right now, that something is alcohol followed by a cigarette."

I had just reached into my pocket to retrieve my cigarettes when Fluttershy asked, "What's a cigarette?"

I pulled one out, and lit it, "Some tobacco rolled up inside a tube of paper. The nicotine in it relaxes me."

"But isn't tobacco bad for you?"

"Everything taken to excess is bad for you. Cigarettes are just a little more so. In any case, being set on fire is way worse, and I'm still here. So why not?" I breathed in some of it, and let out a small cloud of smoke, "Come on, let's get this over with."

We finished the last leg of the walk into town, me finishing the cigarette with a faint buzz in my head. Twilight guided us to the center of it all, and without a single pony in sight, which I found incredibly strange. At night, they hadn't come out of their houses, which would make sense if they were day trodders right? But they still weren't outside. Was this a ghost town. Eh, maybe they were just at the town hall.

We went around the back so we'd come out on the stage just as it started to rain, "Ok Brian, wait until I give you the signal. You'll know it when you see it." Twilight told me. I just shrugged and waited off to the side behind the curtains.

Twilight and everyone else went out on stage, and her introduction started with something of a speech. Mostly about how everything they knew about me was wrong, and that I was a nice guy, even if I was a bit abrasive and paranoid. I saw my cue when she waved her hoof towards me, saying, "And please give him a Ponyville welcome, Brian!"

I walked out on stage to a silent, terrified audience. "Uh, hey. What's up?"

"It's the monster! Get it!" A stallion cried. With that single shout, the crowd was boiled up into a frenzy, surging to the stage where I stood in a stupor.

"Oh, fuck this shit! I'm out!" I turned tail, and ran for the door I came in, only to find it blocked by an earth pony that scowled at me. In a flash of desperation, I jumped out an adjacent window. It shattered with a loud crash, and I before I hit the ground, I bashed my head against a trash can. When I finally came to rest against the muddy ground, I came to the harsh realization that something was in me. That something, was a foot long shard of glass in my abdomen. I groaned, rolled over onto my back, clutched the bloody glass, and pulled. I stifled a cry, groaned, and chucked the glass back into the window.

"Eat shit assholes!" I got to my feet, and started stumbling away from the noise in town hall. My every step brought about growing pain in my body, quickly squashing any ideas on any speed faster than a stumbling walk. I found myself leaving an alley into the main street. Looking both ways was beginning to kill any hope of escaping. The street was filled with angry ponies carrying, of all things, torches and pitchforks.

Well, at least it can't get much worse than this.

"Hey, there it is!"

I cursed under my breath, I just had to think that, didn't I. I turned around, and found a group of small ponies. One was orange with a wild purple hair, another was mostly white and soft purple mane, and lastly, a yellow filly with red hair. All of them staring at me with both terror and a strange curiosity, and blocking my only way out.

I took a bad step on a tin can, and fell against a wall to a house. My strength seemed to fade, and I groaned as I slid down the wall, moaning quietly in pain and wincing. I glanced down at my hand, which had been covering my wound. Even in the dim light, I could see the blood dripping from my fingers. Damn, I'm loosing a lot of blood. I won't be able to last much longer if I can't stop it. How was it that vet told me how to stop deep wounds? Fuck. I remember now.

I made a *hush* motion with my fingers, took off my shirt, and braced myself. I really wasn't looking forwards to this. I sucked in a breath, and held it. Here we go now. Do this, you live. Hesitate, or mess up, you... are... dead. I rapidly shoved my shirt into the wound. The idea, the ex-marine had said, was that the cloth would stop the bleeding from the inside and out. Bad damn, did it hurt like hell. Almost as bad as the fire.

Unlike the fire, though, I was able to keep quiet. For the most part. Unlike the three fillies in front of me, who all let out their own, "Ewws," and, "Ughs." They all stepped backwards, "Why did you do that?" The orange one asks.

I growled in pain, "So I don't bleed out. I ain't ready to die." I stuffed the rest of my shirt into my stomach, clenching my teeth together and breathing slowly. I gasped as I finished the last push, and rested. I realized that I had been keeping my eyes shut, and when I opened them, my vision was blurry, two images of the same picture swaying in and out of focus. Ok, enough screwing around. Time to go.

I pushed myself back up the wall, and turned towards the fillies, "Alright, outta the way. I'm leaving." I took a shaky step forwards, and it was as if I was Moses splitting the Red Sea. They took to the walls of the alley like they could melt into it. I sadly eyed them, and shook my head.

"I guess rumours are more interesting than the truth, isn't it? It's a shame that another planet has become a personal hell for me." I left them behind, trudging through watery mud, cursing the day I was born, cursing why I was who I was, cursing everything, and questioning the same things. In a few short seconds, I'd drained my flask, and left thirsting more.

I wanted to pay no attention to my surroundings, and just wander off to no where. But as angry and depressed as I was feeling, I didn't want to run into that mob and die. Nah, I had to perform the best impersonation of every half decent spy in every spy thriller I'd ever seen. Ok, it was Snake from a walkthrough of a perfect stealth run of Metal Gear Solid 5 the Phantom Pain, but still, that was pretty damn sneaky, and these ponies were easy to avoid. They stayed almost entirely to the lit street, and only ventured into the alley's when they carried torches. Not to mention their angry shouts were difficult not to hear, so it was easy to avoid them. Those three from earlier must have been an outlier.

Finally, I reached the outskirts of town, without having alerted a single pony. The tavern I found myself in front of, however, was going to change that. The Bottomless Draught taunted me with the aspect of more alcohol in my veins, something that promised to satisfy the nasty itch I had grown. Of course, I could go home and do that, but a bar has a certain atmosphere that I could never resist. Maybe the locals were ALL out hunting for me. Maybe, they were secretly avid drunks and wouldn't be able to tell whether or not I was real or not, and the bartender a merciful soul who'd start a tab with me.

I stepped through the door, sopping wet, my boots squelching with the thump of boots striking wood. There were only two ponies in here. The black furred and maned bartender, and a two tone purple pony who was trying to sing, but slurring her words so badly I couldn't understand a word of it. At least she was still happy with her booze. The bartender was, as the stereotype went, washing glass beer mugs.

The pony stopped momentarily to look at the drenched human, but while she immediately continued washing the mug, she kept an eye on me. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall behind the bartender. 2:30.

My boots continued their montra as I walked up to the bar, "Afternoon. I'd like to start a tab, and get the strongest rotgut you've got in stock." I sat down on one of the stools, which was a little short despite ponies being larger than me.

The pony nodded, pulled a large, black bottle from underneath the counter, and filled the glass that had been freshly cleaned. I drank deeply, emptying the glass. Halfway through, I thought it was a bad idea. When I finished, I knew it had been a bad idea. This wasn't the average whiskey or cider or whatever. This was something special.

"Homebrew moonshine yeah? Wheat and corn base with some strawberries mixed in?"

The pony blinked, "How'd you know?"

I smiled, "If you drank as much as I do, then you can tell the contents of any alcohol you guzzle. This stuff is as close to pure as you can get with a backyard distillery, and it's going to kick in really soon, and kick hard. Good thing too, I won't be feeling the hole in me then." I breathed in the sweet smell of a bar. Sweat, a ting of blood, some must from the rafters, and most of all, alcohol that had come and gone.

"So why ain't you panicking? Mobs out there are ready to execute me over some rumours."

She raised an eyebrow, "This is a bar. Stories here are about as reliable as a the customers I serve. You learn to take it all with a grain of salt unless it's something you know is for a fact."

"Good to know someone around here isn't so easily swayed. Can I get another one?" I raised my glass.

She nodded, and poured the glass half full. When I gave a questioning look, she said, "Look, if you keep drinking like I think you want to, you're going to die."

I guzzled down the moonshine, thudding the glass back down, "Maybe that's what would be best, eh? That'd solve all my problems in and with life. Hell, it's like an abusive relationship, and I'm too much of a dumbass to leave it. Kinda reminds me of a song from back home. Wanna hear it?"

"Sounds like I don't have much of a choice. Get on with it."

I sucked in a deep breath, and sang out my song from memory,

Somehow, in ways that defied my understanding, while I sang the music behind it played just like in my memory. The mare in front of me had a pained expression, on the verge of tears, while the purple pony who sat a few stools down was already crying her eyes out.

"Wha cud make ya feel suh bad? *HIC!*" She asked through her tears.

"All the crap that happens to me. That's what. Sometimes I want to say fuck it and kill myself. But I always remember that death is not an option. It's a cowardly way of surrendering, of losing. And I sure as hell hate to lose. Living on is a great big middle finger to the world, and I'm keeping that one finger salute erect as long as possible." The bartender filled my glass again, all the way this time. I smiled, "Cheers."

Comments

[Spc jacko]

Townsponies are the worst.

[Knight of Crows]

Where is the 'slap the dumbass' button when you need it?

[No0one]

Please continue

[Shattered_Moon]

9049021
Eeyup.

[ShortCaveman]

Be careful about working your self into OBLIVION with no R&R.Good story👍