Shining Armor's life as a private is going great, rigorous training aside. But when a letter from one Sunset Shimmer shows up next to his bed one day, his life goes from great to amazing, and then shortly after, he finds himself drowning in mares.
8672659 It'll work out. I just needed an excuse to actually build this one up, and with what I mentioned in the first chapter when I didnt know what I was doing with Cadance, it just seemed like the best way.
Besides, it makes the perfect backdrop for angry sex between Sunset and Cadance.
8672393 Yeah, classic Cerebus Syndrome. It'll go back to being completely light after this though.
“Well, do remember that the castle maids report to me,” Princess Celestia reminded her, with a slight smirk. “They’ve had to change the sheets several times now.”
Maids know everything
Shining’s first thought was his own sister at that. Sounded right up her alley to overthink something like that.
That went from being silly to suddenly being serious rather quickly. Well, if all goes well, this'll make the ShiningxSunsetxCadance scenario worth the payoff.
Anyway, what I'd meant to post before was that I am liking this story but I felt the joke in this chapter went too long the first time you did it... and then you did it a second time. It went on way, way too long. The chapter is almost 7k words and the joke took up like 1.5k of that or something. Felt like a bit of wasted space and time.
I mean, it was funny when I first realized what you were doing, it made me smile, but halfway through the first instance of it I rolled my eyes and skipped to the end. I skipped it entirely on the second go-around. This sort of thing doesn't work as well in print as it did in the movie in my opinion because while the joke only takes 30 seconds to a minute to pull off in the film, reading takes far, far longer so it felt like a waste to me since it didn't add anything to the story, really. It was just silly nonsenese, which I'm not entirely against, but it was too much for me.
You drama llama!
8672659
It'll work out. I just needed an excuse to actually build this one up, and with what I mentioned in the first chapter when I didnt know what I was doing with Cadance, it just seemed like the best way.
Besides, it makes the perfect backdrop for angry sex between Sunset and Cadance.
8672393
Yeah, classic Cerebus Syndrome. It'll go back to being completely light after this though.
8672369
Why's your comment blank?
Maids know everything
That it does
That went from being silly to suddenly being serious rather quickly. Well, if all goes well, this'll make the ShiningxSunsetxCadance scenario worth the payoff.
Oh, behave!
Heh.
Good work on this fic! It's plenty deeper than you'd think at first glance.
8672914
That's a good question. I have no idea.
Anyway, what I'd meant to post before was that I am liking this story but I felt the joke in this chapter went too long the first time you did it... and then you did it a second time. It went on way, way too long. The chapter is almost 7k words and the joke took up like 1.5k of that or something. Felt like a bit of wasted space and time.
I mean, it was funny when I first realized what you were doing, it made me smile, but halfway through the first instance of it I rolled my eyes and skipped to the end. I skipped it entirely on the second go-around. This sort of thing doesn't work as well in print as it did in the movie in my opinion because while the joke only takes 30 seconds to a minute to pull off in the film, reading takes far, far longer so it felt like a waste to me since it didn't add anything to the story, really. It was just silly nonsenese, which I'm not entirely against, but it was too much for me.
That bit with Sunset clopping while Shining tells her about him and Dash..... unnfff
I cannot WAIT to read more of this.
8673885
That's fair. It did seem to drag on when rereading. I'll try not to drag jokes out next time.