Her Mother's Diary

by Church

day four

...Day four...

They tell me that I have to rest. They tell me that I can’t see my foal, not so much as a peep, for she is resting, and I need much of the same. My energy is severely depleted. For no particular reason, and of inexplicable consequence, I feel worse than I had the previous two days. It goes without saying that this blasted cup of yogurt and this crummy slice of supposedly whole wheat bread is not nearly enough to satisfy my immaterial needs. I only want to see her. That’s it. That’s all I ask. I want to see my Rainbow Dash. If the doctors felt the urge to witness a mother on a rampage, bashing walls and slicing the serenity in the air with this plastic butter knife in my grasp, then I needed no other reason to go berserk.

Well, perhaps I’m overreacting. There is no pretense for such nonsense, and it’s been, what, a couple of days?

I’ll cope.

However, if the nurse asks me one more time how I am feeling, I might just roll my eyes to the back of my head and spontaneously begin to spasm, just to see what they might do. To make my performance half believable, I can even foam at the mouth. Interesting, such a mess I could cause. I must be a bother to them by now, nothing more. I’m fairly positive my disgruntled disposition is what’s locking me in this room in the first place, what with their constant checking in on me, only to be turned aside without hesitation. They must think I’m hormonal. That might be a joke in itself.

Contrary to whatever their belief may be, I could say that all I truly desire to do is rush back home, Dash in hoof. But, how much do I really want that? Mother told me that raising a foal is tough stuff, and knowing she raised me to be at least slightly cordial and well-mannered, I have no reason to doubt that one bit. I hate to ask for guidance... but in all honesty... I do not know what I’m doing. All mothers must say that, but that just about sums up the entirety of the truth. Of course, raising a foal requires some sort of simple sensibility, and a copious amount of patience... but there’s that one thing that all new mothers must think of, but don’t dredge to the surface for fear of being deemed unfit to be granted custody of their foal. That thought is-

“Gee... I don’t wanna kill it...”

Simplistic. A dark and melancholic thought, stated concisely. The point is made quite clear though. And it is true. It is so very true. It isn’t like I’ve ever taken care of a foal before. I didn’t go to a preparatory class for future mothers. I didn’t go to “foal raising school”. For whatever reason, though, I wish that such a thing existed. I’m sorry, asking for help doesn’t exactly follow my forte, but...

gee... I don’t wanna kill it...

My thoughts are running rampant today. I apologize for the vulgar nature in which this might be coming across, I can’t say that I’m trying for it. I suppose that it’s the sleep deprivation. I’ve stayed up every night since. Every night since my Rainbow Dash was birthed. Sleep seemed unnecessary, and for reasons currently unexplained to my brain, I figured time would fly if I could find the depravity to stay in a constant state of wake. As I’ve come to find, that was a gravely ill-minded idea. Just ask the nurses and the doctors.

I was cleared to leave my hospital room a good while ago. I didn’t though. I basically denied my opportunity to leave so that I could sit in this hospital room and wait for Rainbow to come back. I’ve been a royal pain for the entire ride. The doctors are fed up with me and my antics. But the hospital bed, and this may come as a surprise, isn’t Equestria’s most enticing stay. In which case, I’ve made full use of my visit...

Did you know that impersonating a doctor is some sort of heinous crime around here? Hmph.

I’ll leave soon enough. If the staff has to forcefully shove me out, I will not give them a rough go of it. But not without my foal. I won’t leave without her. Otherwise, I can’t wait to hear the unanimous, exasperated sigh as I exit those hospital doors for good, the groan of the hinges as they twist behind me. The building itself might sag a bit in the humbled relief of my leave. I can’t imagine the looks on the faces of the staff as I bid them farewell, bid them a calmer tomorrow in my absence. And I can’t wait to plan my glorious return.

I’m such a troublemaker, Rainbow Dash. Your mother is such a troublemaker. When you grow old, I pray that you acquire more of a taste for grace rather than the sort of brashness that characterizes your mother.

I digress. I'm attempting to avoid what's really on my mind. In all honesty... I must say this-

I think I’m ready to learn. I’m ready to become a mother, no matter how scared I am of this inescapable sinking feeling settled into my gut. I promise that I’m up to the challenge, Rainbow. I’m ready for you.

You are going to teach me so much over the course of our many years. Though I admit that I’m afraid... I promise that I will enjoy every moment spent together with every fiber of my being and every ounce of my heart. I promise to always love you when you get in trouble. I promise to hold you when the world grows dark. I hope that you can forgive me when I perform some sort of misdeed. It is inevitable. Nopony is perfect.

But we can certainly be as close to that as Celestia herself allows us.

I’m not only ready to be your hero, or your savior, or your guardian, Rainbow Dash. I am ready to be so much more. And if the wind changes course and I have to seal you under my other wing, I will not hesitate to apply the transfer. Because not only am I ready to be your friend, your doctor and sometimes even your adversary...

Rainbow...

I am ready to be your mother.

Comments

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Oh Rainbow Dash you're more like your mother than you know.

[KiaraKovu123]

952160

Eeyup.

[bigchibz110]

Curious I am where you are going with this...