"Derpy, if you want to do this, I'd be more than happy to help you, but I'm not going to abandon you. You're too precious for me to leave, not to mention you're so adorable and beautiful at the same time. So, here's what I found out from a good friend of mine: They said that here in Equestria, it's not uncommon for a man or stallion to be seen with multiple mares. To be more specific, a harem."
You knew she was being sincere and you were a forgiving kind of guy at heart. Besides, even if you weren't forgiving, you just couldn't stay mad at a cute face like hers. You reached for the muffin and grabbed it, smiling at the mare and chuckling. "Thank you very much, miss... uhh."
This would have more weight if they weren't interacting with each other for the first time. There's no relationship history, no emotional investment, no memories of the time the two spent together. Basically this guy is inviting a complete stranger into his harem/herd. Right upon meeting her for the first time too!
*sigh* Great to finally see this updated again. You know the drill. Great job, and I enjoyed it. So is Twilight next, or someone else?
Awe! I loved that Derpy moment!
I also love the fact that you put cartoon things in your stories! Keep it up, dude!
Good to have you back and yo see more of the story.
This was a great chapter.
This was a awesome and sweet chapter him and Derpy are adorable together.
I want more MORE!!!!
This would have more weight if they weren't interacting with each other for the first time. There's no relationship history, no emotional investment, no memories of the time the two spent together. Basically this guy is inviting a complete stranger into his harem/herd. Right upon meeting her for the first time too!
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dude I wrote this just for fun, I don't need people getting on my case about how a story be written.