Twilight
The morning couldn't be better! Today I had no princess duties, so the obvious answer was to spend time with friends.
After we gathered up at the Sugarcube Corner, Fluttershy decided to show us her new bear. She said she found him in the forest, with a broken leg, so she decided to take him in and call him Brownie. She took us to her cottage, finding that he and Harry (Fluttershy's first bear) had become best palls.
Watching her introduce Brownie to Rarity was quite the fun spectacle. Rarity seemed quite uncomfortable though.
After a tea party (in which everyone drank at least 16 cups of tea) our tea drunk group parted with Brownie, and headed to my place.
We usually spent most of our indoors time in my castle. The castle, even if small outside, was larger then the Canterlot Palace inside. I always was amazed by the sheer magical power of the Tree of Harmony. We would usually explore the castle, or play hide and seek, while trying not to get lost.
Sometimes, the castle got quite creepy when I was alone, especially when hearing my hoofsteps echo into the depths of the castle. That, was the only times when I hoped I had servants and royal guards.
We played a lot of things, from poker, to pin the tail on the pony. Later, the group slowly began to smallen. Pinkie left for Sucarcube Corner, Applejack for her applebucking, and Rainbow for her 'Bolts practice.
"Bye Fluttershy."
"Bye."
I closed the castle doors, and headed towards my bedroom.
Suddenly I wobbled and fell on my face, as I felt as if my brain has been punched. My mind grew cloudy, as I was still struggling to get on my hooves. I managed to lift myself up and crawl all the way to my bed. 'Shees... I'm sick again... Where is Spike when you need him?' I fell onto my bed, and sleep claimed me.
That was my last day as a pony.
===*===
Twilight
I was hearing voices. There were a lot of them, but something told me there far too few. My mind was still cloudy.
I opened my eyes, seeing a ceiling made out of a dark magenta chitinous material. I threw off myself a blanket of similar material, which gave me a shiver. I sat on the edge of the bed, and checked my surroundings.
I was in a room, barely bigger than a hospital one, with a fairly small furniture assortment. An oak bookshelf, a bedside cabinet, and the bed I was in. There were no windows. The source of light was a single glowing bulb on the ceiling. The floor was made out of some sort of purple rock. The walls were also covered in chitin. 'What's with this place's love for chitin?'
There was a wooden door at the end of the room, that looked quite tempting. Not as tempting as the bookshelves though.
I stood up, wobbling on my hooves as I did so. 'Why do I feel like a newborn?' I thought as I reached out towards one of the dozen of books sitting on the shelf. 'Ways to spy on Celestia' The title said. 'Hmm, this name sounds familiar...' I flipped the cover. What I saw, took me aback. The page was filled only with the sentence 'It's impossible.' All over and over again. I turned the next few pages. They were all the same. 'Whoa, depressing.'
<Our queen has awakened.> A smooth, confident voice announced that from somewhere in her head.
"What? Who is there?" I spoke there. My voice was high-tuned, but also smooth. I liked my voice. 'Wait, who am I?' All my thoughts stopped, as I struggled to remember my identity. 'Ah, that's right, it's Twilight Alor. Wait, that doesn't feel right...
I looked down, noticing my chitin covered forelegs. They had only the slightest hint of magenta. There were holes covering all of my arms.'I think this isn't right.' I turned my head backwards, seeing my back was also covered in chitin. Two insect-like wings sprung from it. They had a purple color, and reflected the light coming from the very weak light source. 'Now that I think about it.. How can I see so well in this level of light? I was able to read no problem!'
Suddenly I heard a creak come from the direction of the door. It opened, revealing a changeling drone.
He was black, and his eyes glowed with a purple color. "My Queen, I see that you're awake." He said. 'It was his voice that announced that thing in my head.' I realized. "My name is Rosch."
'Wait... my queen?' "What do you mean?" I asked.
"You are the current queen of this hive, Your Majesty." He said it like it was no big deal. "Don't worry, it's no loss of memory. The previous queen- Chrysalis, chose you for the next ruler of the hive. Your old memory should be restored completely in about a week."
I nodded. "I am unfamiliar with the body of a changeling queen. Could you tell me what should I expect?"
"First, we will run an inspection to be sure that your transformation went right." He turned around and prepared to leave the room. "Meanwhile I can show you the hive." He then stepped out of the room, me shortly following suit.
The corridor was similar in structure to my new bedroom. The only difference being the doors and tunnels that went along it. Some drones similar to the one that I was following.
"The hive has a population of one hundred and fourteen drones. This is very little, for a hive that has a queen. You may have realized that from the hive mind."
"The Hive Mind?" I asked as I heard a few faint voices in my head.
"It is a way that changelings from a single hive can communicate between themselves. The center of the hive mind is the queen, so if something happens to her, the hive mind will get disabled."
I then stopped, looking around. I saw a female drone leading a dozen of nymphs. They were playing, and running around the drone, which I suspected was their caretaker. One of them stopped, to look at me. She stared at me, with her huge eyes. Her face showed respect awe and fear. I sat down face to face with her, before nuzzling her. She gave out a surprise yelp, before giggling and running to join the other nymphs.
Only now, I seemed to notice that I was a head taller that most of the drones around me. 'Guess it comes in a pack with being a queen.'
I hurried after Rosch, who turned opened a wooden door. I followed suit.
The room was also simple, and two drones were sitting on a wooden chair, having a dispute. Once I came in, both of them stood up simultaneously. "My Queen! It's an honor to meet you!" said on of them. "Please take a seat." She pointed towards a stool in the middle of the room."We'll check how your transformation went. Please do not move."
The two nurses started going around me, checking my wings, shining lights into my eyes, even poking me between the chitin place on the belly.
"This is interesting... Rosch come here." Said one of the them. 'Is something wrong with me?'
"What?" He came closer. "Is something wrong?"
"I'm not sure. Check out her hive mind connection crown." 'The what now?'
"This is weird..." By now, I was quite nervous.
"What's wrong?" I finally asked.
"Your Hive Crown has five branches instead of four." Nurse Number One announced as she gave me a large mirror shard.
When I saw my reflection, my feelings were pretty mixed- Interest, horror and satisfaction. My face was covered in chitin, two sharp carnivore-like fangs poked out from my upper teeth. My horn was crooked, and filled with holes. Unlike the other changelings, I had a faded purple colored main, with (of course) more holes in it. My eyes were magenta, a feline slit running through them. And finally, behind my horn there was a black crown. It looked as if five short, thick branches were growing out of my head. To me, it looked quite natural.
Off to a nice little start, would like to see where you go with this.
interested
C'mon son, if you can't be bothered to catch a you/your substitution in your short description, why is a reader going to open the fic itself?
8565378
I can't understand what exactly do you mean...
Do you mean that I should make the idea of the story more understandable in the short discription?
a good start in my book already, I put this story aside for later.
8565934
"But sometimes a situation's outcome is so important, that they may change you life."
See above sentence. You're looking for the possessive form of 'you' here, which is 'your'.
very good. While I could accept some of the new changelings, I was dissapointed and even hated how Thorax looked.
1. Thorax didn't had to be the new king just because he was the first to want to change, it could have been that he just helped a new Queen or king to grow and getting a very good funtion because he helped the new king/queen into existence (I'm talking about the transformation)
2. That and I don'T like Raindeer Thorax or that kind of bug he makes me think of.
Well the story is alright so far, I might have some wishes for potential adjustments to the story later, but you can decide if you want to react on that or not.
8566282
You could argue about when a downvote is justified or when not, but it is funny how easy one can get a downvote. If I write something what I could consider a better reason for someone to hate my comment or opinion, then I never get a downvote.
If I write something like "I like coffee and Fluttershy", then I get at least 1 - 4 downvotes.
I mean I just dislike Starswirls because I disliked him for a certain reason when only the first three or four seasons existed and Starlight wasn't created.
Back then most of the authors reacted like there could never exist a unicorn that has even half of his abilities or power for some stupid reason. (Of course there could be someone that is at least somewhat strong or on his level).
Now since he existed I was kind of affraid of what that would mean, if that shit was going to happen again or not.
Then again, at least Starlight exist and should give an easy reason for why a unicorn oc or other Unicorn character could grow into a strong character.
8577483
Glad you like it.
Also, i'm open to suggestions.
Also Im planning on the opposite. Twilight will help Thorax. <- second rate spoiler
8577486
To be fair, up/downvotes are fundamentally flawed because they conflate "this is good/bad" (reasonably objective assessments) with "I like/dislike this" (subjective assessments).
(Especially in a situation like YouTube, where they're tied into both global ratings and a "recommended for you" system.)