What a great addition to the community. Superkappa

Well. Auto-cannibalism. There's something I never expected to see fetishised.

Well written, I'll admit, though I glossed over the death itself. Manually un-translating the Swahili was a pain in the ass though. That could have been handled better. I dunno if better is making it all English or making it all gibberish to remove the temptation to translate it, but a translated chapter is probably a good idea.

Still though. Boiling Alive. In a pot with cum and urine. With Auto-cannibalism. Yep. Good night internet.

Not enough clop like this. Thank you for writing this.

Why not translate the Swahili? You reply to comments by moving your mouse over to the right-hand corner of the comment you want to reply to then clicking on the >> that appears.

8432862
I... am aware, yes. And I feel like it does add to the experience by at least leaving it initially untranslated, so you sympathize with Daring's confusion better, and it leaves what they're actually saying as a fun surprise to those who actually do translate it.

8432804
Awww, you're welcome! Agreed, there needs to be more of it. HeadlessRainbow does an okay job, but I like to hope this goes hard into the fetish without just making it as wacky as they do, at least unless I'm specifically going for that.

Very lovely, good job, I didn't bother trying to translate, but in a weird way, it was a good idea to do that, as it doesn't take much away to not know, and at least you didn't make it all gibberish, so people could translate it if they want.

Oy what's this? Another vore fic from Vraddock? Dare I roll the dice on this one?

I'll have to give it a shot later.

Update: It was awesome

This was necessary. In the words of a famous review, it fills a much needed gap and I will waste no time in reading it.

Lovely like-dislike ratio

And then they all died of zebra kuru.

8434664
It's good to see some good, healthy male cannibal porn created in mature self-respect, instead of gross shemale cannibal porn created in frustrated childishness, huh?

That was something to say the least.

Fucking filthy. Just the way I like it. Have an upvote. That ratio ain't fair. This was quality. Vore isn't even really my thing, but that whole scene with Daring contemplating what it's like to be cooked alive was an interesting departure from the norm. Existentialism is my fetish. I'm a really sick fuck.

this was actually done really well. good job, amazingly perspective writer

I get what you were going for with the different language thing, but honestly that bit ruined it for me. I spent a lot of time translating it in the beginning, then got bored and started skimming, then just got bored and put it down. I think I'm more into being inside the character's head than the whole talking to your inevitable killers thing but this one REALLY bored me.

Maybe I just like spitting. Really that was the only scene that did anything for me, and even that felt... really weird. Dunno. I just didn't like this one.

Update: Reading the translated version was way better.

I've found that when dealing with different languages in stories, rather than actually writing the language, just describe that they're saying something. Otherwise it completely snaps your reader out of the moment because there is no easy to way read words you do not understand. Make it clear that they're talking in a foreign tongue, and then tell the reader when they are talking with description rather than quotes.

8445386
Huh. But what if you happen to be a conlanger and you want the audience to see your made-up language? What's the best way to show it to them without breaking the flow?

8447579
That is... a hard question. It really depends entirely on certain words or phrases. A single line of dialogue or a few words in another language, as long as it's Latin based can actually be quite immersive, but if it's sustained over long periods it starts to draw your reader out.

8447719

8447579
I haven't done this (pre-existing languages are complex enough to keep track of and diverse enough for most purposes) but if I were, I'd have them speak the language in the story, but often have a someone translate it in the story for another character. Often, this is why a lot of Sci-Fi stories have interlopers, people from outside the setting. They act as a stand-in for the reader, asking obvious questions about things that other characters know as fact to catch up.

Of course, then I'd probably screw it up by having the translator do his job poorly, or having whoever he's translating be really snarky in their own language and the translator is trying to just give plain information, or something like that. Another good reason to stick with a pre-existing language, so some readers can double-check and actually get that joke, without having to comb through and try to learn a language improperly explained.

8432763
"There's something I never expected to see fetishised."
Have you forgotten rule 34?