Nazi Pony Zombies of the Gods
There was a blinding flash of green light that lit up the entire room. After the resulting glare, five of the most unlikely travel companions were standing around in a circle on a pad in the center of an amphitheatre. Dust covered almost every object as the five companions stumbled about in their disorientated states. Amongst the group stood a cynogriffin, one of the winged wolves of old, a timberwolf, one of Terra’s protectors, a bugbear, notorious in his own right, a demon, with a fist of stone, and a very confused pegasus with a bubbly cutie mark.
“Ugh, where the fuck are we?” the cynogriffin pondered aloud as he took in his surroundings. It looked surprisingly familiar to him. Wreckage was across the entire room, with two staircases on either side of an entrance hallway that had a door blocked off. To his right was what appeared to be a concessions stand where a bright blue vending machine stood. As he approached he could read ‘Quick Revive.’ Unfortunately the machine wasn’t powered.
“Who forgot to pay the electric bill?” he shouted out to no one in particular.
By this point, the cynogriffin’s other companions were noticing the wooden boards covering holes in the wall that seemed to be very poorly built in. The bugbear was the first to respond.
“Zeta, I have no fucking clue where we are. And of course the power isn’t on, how original,” he shouted across the hallway as he examined the outline of a rather sad looking double barrel shotgun on the wall. “You have any ideas Cole?” the bugbear shouted over to the gray skinned Hellboy look-a-like.
Cole for his part was opening a box that had a note on it that read ‘Have fun you four! Here is the starting gun.’ Upon opening it, he found four pristine M1911 .45 pistols, with almost 80 bullets for each of them.
“No idea, but we should go find the power box. Also whoever sent us here gave us a nice gift,” Cole joked lifting one of the guns out of the box. “Come and get them while they are hot! Catch Twiggy.” Cole shouted as he lobbed one of the pistols over towards the timberwolf.
"Oh joy, no power! And I told you guys, it’s Twigleaf. Why do you keep calling me Twiggy? "Twigleaf projected his thoughts into the minds of the others, his only way to communicate with his compatriots as he awkwardly grabbed the pistol. Somehow it managed to stay in his paw, despite the lack of thumbs to grip the weapon properly. "Well that’s new. So Derpy, you know where we are? "
Derpy, the beloved pony that bronies everywhere loved, regardless of the name used, was standing by one of the shoddily built barricades over the windows. She looked amongst the rest of the creatures standing before her, all armed with a pistol and plenty of ammo at this point. So she just went with her common phrase.
Just as she was about to though, about a dozen rotting hooves of ponies with Nazi uniforms on burst through the two by fours and dragged Derpy through. All the remaining four could do was sit and listen to her screams, which only included “I just don’t know what went wrong!!” over and over again.
“HOLY SHIT!!” Zeta yelped out. The other three just stood and looked at the gaping hole in the wall in shock.
“Guys, I think I know where we are now...” Twigleaf thought for everyone to hear. He didn’t get to answer finish though as Cole and Celt simultaneously cut him off.
“Fucking. Nazi. Zombies.”
All four of the living started spazzing out. First they were all shot to the Equestria continent, and now they were being forced to fight through Nazi Zombies? What other cruel joke could Fate play on them?
“Ok, guys shut up and calm down. Everyone grab a window, let’s just go turn on the power ASAP,” Zeta barked at the others as he saw the pony zombies start slowly walking towards the wood covered barriers. “And will someone fix the one that Derpy got taken from!”
Soon the craziness began. Twigleaf ran over to the broken windows and started acquiring points for fixing up the broken boards. “What the fuck am I supposed to use points for?”
Celt answered the question when he spent his starting 500 for the Olympia shotgun. “I’m going to spill their guts all over the place, haha!” he shouted with joy before running back over to his window.
Zeta just finished knifing one of the pony abominations that had approached his window “It tried to take my Vodka! And did you really just buy the Olympia Celt? That thing blows!” Of course Celt couldn’t hear Zeta over the sound of Cole’s rapid pistol fire followed by a clicking sound.
“Shit I’m out of ammo. Oh well, I will crush them with my bare hands!” The demon spawn declared as he crushed one of the Nazi Pony’s skulls with his barrel sized hand.
Twigleaf wasn’t do as hot as the others. A couple of the zombies had broken through and one managed to bash the timberwolf across the back. “I can smell my own blood. FEAR ME!” the injured party howled as he filled the offending zombie full of bullets.
“Um guys, can we go to the next room now?” Zeta shouted back, having just dispatched another two pony zombies. “Hey guys, look what I did!” the cynogriffin exclaimed as he ran up the stairs. Twigleaf and Cole were right behind him, but Celt was stubbornly standing by his window, blasting away with his crappy shotgun.
Soon the bugbear was surrounded though. He managed to blast a hole into two of the zombies, but one on his back managed to hit him hard. Celt spun around quickly and knife killed the offending Nazi Pony Zombie, “K to the I to the A zombitch!” He happily exclaimed watching the body drop. Celt’s victory was short lived though, as three more zombies struck him down. Celt collapsed to the floor.
“Shit! We gotta help Celt!” Cole yelled, as he crushed another zombie’s skull with his hulking brick of a hand.
Zeta glanced at the massive horde closing in on Celt, and then looked at the two members beside him. No one had any ammo left, and their knives were not nearly effective enough to save Celt. “Well since Celt is neither a woman or child, and doesn’t have my booze, I vote no.” Zeta declared as he used some of the points he had acquired to open the door behind him and continue towards the theater. The other two looked at each other grimly before chucking a grenade towards the zombie horde that was bearing down on Celt before leaving.
The last words that the other chess pieces heard of their former comrade was “I hope you choke meatsack!” before the explosions drowned out any noise that could follow. The three remaining survivors have a slight moment of silence before scouring the new area for anything else that may be useful.
The new area, composed of two rooms, was mostly bare. Only two new boarded up holes in the wall, with another set of doors in the second room. The only object of curiosity was a glowing blue box, that had question marks on it.
“Fuck yeah, Random Box!” Cole exclaimed as he ran to spend his hard earned points. The jingle started to ring through the room as the weapons started flashing about faster than the eye could see. At the end of the tune, there floating above the box was the Ray Gun. “This gun fires pure honor!”
A yelp from his wooden companion made Cole do a quick 180 to see Twigleaf pinned beneath a couple of zombies. With Zeta on the other side of the room handling his own miniature horde, Cole went out to save the day. Blasting through the undead ponies with green rings of death, the Hellboy look-a-like charged towards his fallen brother-in-arms screaming “With the force of one thousand wombats, YOU DIE!!”
Zeta just face pawed upon hearing Cole’s stupid battlecry. Twigleaf on the other hand, gratefully accepted the aid. As he was being helped out, he projected his thoughts stating, “Ja Danke,” before running off to get a new gun from the Random Box.
Zeta and Cole were busy holding off the line of advancing zombies when all of a sudden, a grenade flies over their head and blows up a large swath of the undead before the two besieged warriors. Spinning around, the two survivors see Twigleaf standing there with a China Lake in his paws. In an almost sadistic voice Twigleaf exclaimed his joy with his new weapon.
“They will be all over the floor! Und de valls!! Und the ceiling!” Cole and Zeta looked at each other rather concerned over the maniacal grin plastered across the muzzle of timberwolf.
“Is that natural?” Cole leaned over and whispered to his other canine companion. Zeta simply shrugged and went to take his turn at the Random Box. Cole and the crazed timberwolf held off the advancing horde for a while as the jingle ended.
“FUCK YOU MONKEY!” Zeta cried as he took the toy monkey strapped with TNT. Cole gave Zeta a ‘what the hell?’ look after his outcry. The cynogriffin’s reply was a simple “I don’t like its beady little eyes,” before turning around and trying to get a gun from the box.
Cole just shrugged as he returned his attention to the nazi ponies before him. He was getting a little nervous for Twiggy, who was blasting the zombies with the grenade launcher with little regard for himself, and his leaf parts were starting to burn.
“Guys I think we should move on to the stage, what do you all think?” Cole shouted above the explosions caused by Twigleaf.
Before anyone could answer, a light machine gun mowed down the rest of the zombies. Standing with the smoking barrel leaned against his shoulder, was Zeta. “If that’s all they got, maybe I’m not drinking enough?”
Cole just shook his head as he dragged the timberwolf by his tail towards the stage where the power switch was located. The moment they entered the room however, an eerie fog rose from the ground.
A little girl’s cruel laughter could be heard before issuing a resounding command. “Fetch me their souls!”
“You don’t want my soul, it probably tastes like vodka...mmm vodka,” was Zeta’s response prepping his HK21 for combat.
“Was that Rachel??” Twigleaf wondered aloud. Before anyone could answer him though, a bolt of lightning summoned none other than Echo the diamond dog, Griffin the griffin, Aoi the Lunar Legend, Knightmare the perverted changeling, and Ember the dragon. All five of them were rotting and on fire, with glowing orange eyes in their skulls.
“...Sonuvabitch...” was all Cole muttered out before he started blasting at the demonic versions of his old friends.
Griffin and Knightmare took to the air to drag Zeta to his death, while Aoi, Ember, and Echo charged towards Twigleaf and Cole. The only positive was that none of the demon-spawns was that they had neither any of their magical abilities or weapons. Cole and Twigleaf managed to obliterate the three charging them in a combination of green energy blasts and high explosives. Just as the two turned to check on Zeta’s status, two more bodies dropped onto the stage before vanishing.
“Well that wasn’t too hard was it?” Twigleaf joked. Zeta facepawed as Cole gave the timberwolf the biggest deadpanned look in recorded history. “What?”
As soon as he finished that sentence, five more bolts hit the stage, releasing every other chess piece in a demonic form. Shortly there after Rachel again announced in her D’AWW inducing new voice, “I said FETCH ME THEIR SOULS! I need to sacrifice them to keep the Feature Box!!”
The new horde of chess pieces charged their former comrades as the three prepared for the defensives. “You just had to fucking say it didn’t you Twiggy! At least we know how ‘The Spoken Word’ stayed in the feature box for so long now.” Zeta joked as he took to the air, spraying a hail of bullets into the offending pieces. His HK21’s rain of metal split Mango Jack in half, along with Gorath and Ivan, though Zeta could never tell one zebra apart from the other. He then saw Marty, the weird snake person thing, slithering up behind Cole. Zeta landed on top of him, crushing his skull and spine in one fell swoop, before taking off again.
Cole nodded towards his winged friend as he flew off. For his part, Cole just stood there, blasting away. Thanks to the efficiency of the Ray Gun, he had time to ponder as he slaughtered those before him. He pondered things like how did Giza the Sphinx managed to gather the other two spirits around in the necklace as Cole blew off the sphinx’s upper body. His next thought was captured solely by Jack, the goddess of Tartarus. How exactly was she turned into a demon spawn by Rachel? Was Rachel’s control over the power of D’AWW greater than that of a god? Cole would never get a chance to ask her though, because the Ray Gun’s blast decided Jack would look so much better without a head.
Twiggy was having a blast, quite literally, over on his side. He had just finished blowing the legs off of Law the Dragon, Disdain the Kirin, and Rook the Gargoyle before knife killing the three of them. He didn’t get much of a break before Bronze, Thud, and Fudge charged to smash Twigleaf into toothpicks. Luckily Zeta did a quick fly by, unloading into the three heavy hitters and ending them.
“I’ll buy you some vodka!” Twigleaf projected his thoughts as he blasted Tyler, the weird four legged eagle, out of the air. Spinning around he pumped another grenade that blasted away a cow and three separate manticores.
Finally, as the demon horde was winding down, Twigleaf saw a two headed hydra dragon. It seemed to be arguing with between its two heads. Zeta and Cole both looked over and saw the timberwolf’s determined gaze to bring down the abomination to all things sacred.
“Guys, tell my wife and kids, I love them,” the timberwolf ordered as he took out a frag grenade and placed it in his mouth. He then unloaded his China Lake, popped the two primers for the grenades, and charged at the bastard of creation before him.
Cole and Zeta both saluted their comrade and turned away and started a slow-mo walk right as the explosion went off, because, as everyone knows, cool guys don’t look at explosions.
About half a foot later though, they both stopped at the same time and turned to look at each, both thinking the same thing. ‘Since when did Twiggy have a wife and kids?’
“I say we pretend none of that ever happened” Cole announced to his fluffy friend next to him. Zeta just gave a curt nod, with a confused look still on his face. “Let’s turn the power on finally,” continued as he reached the lever. Yanking it down, what little lights that were not broken turned on as the curtain opened.
Zeta and Cole stood on the stage of a massive auditorium. The seats and two other windows were barricaded with massive chunks missing from the ceiling above. On the stage to the right of them, was the infamous teleporter. Before either could cheer over the discovery of the machine, a deep rumbling and heart wrenching howl echoed across the entire building.
“Uh, uh oh. That sounds like trouble,” Zeta muttered to Cole as he loaded in another clip of ammo. “How about we fight our way to the Random Box and try our luck again?”
Cole simply nodded at the cynogriffin’s suggestion before he took off, the winged wolf right behind him. Sudden blasts of dirt erupting out of the ground caught his attention for a moment. Climbing out of the holes were malnourished, zombiefied crawling diamond dogs. “You have got to be shitting me...”
After mowing down a room and a half full of zombies, the two survivors arrived at the Random Box. “Ladies first,” Zeta snickered at Cole as he threw a monkey bomb downstairs.
As Cole waited for his weapon to appear, he heard the monkey explode, killing most of the ponies and diamond dogs surrounding it. “Ha, the monkey is better at killing zombies than you!” His insult was met with a the middle claw of the cynogriffin as he restarted firing his HK at the approaching line. The drone of bullets was too loud even for the heightened senses of the air’s top predator to hear the end of the jingle. So when a massive blast of air threw the entire approaching horde into a pile of messy red, needless to say Zeta was shocked.
Spinning around rapidly, Zeta saw Cole standing there with a smug look on his face and the best weapon on his shoulder. “I have acquired the Thundergun.” Zeta shoved his way past the lucky demon as he took his turn at the box.
Cole held the line blasting through zombies left and right with ease at his two infinitely powerful weapons, happily humming along with the tune behind him. Just as he starts to end the tune, Rachel’s laughter starts filling the room. Cole turns around and sees the a teddy bear floating above the box before the box joins it and vanishes in a flash of blue light as Rachel declares “You guys killed all my little pawns, so no weapons for you!”
“Why hasn't anyone tried nailing this down?!” Zeta yelled in exasperation. Cole was just laughing at the misfortune of his companion, idly blasting apart zombies with the Ray Gun. “Fuck you too!” the frustrated cynogriffin yelled.
The pair made fought their way back to the teleporter and were sitting in it, waiting for it to finish the charging. The massive waves of the undead started to become too much even for the Ray Gun and Thundergun, and the two were started to panic.
Eventually, Zeta snapped. “Fuck this man, every person for themselves!” As he spread his wings and flew over the oncoming horde. Just as he left however, as Fate or a cruel joke of the author, the Teleporter completed its charge and sent Cole off to the Pack-A-Punch machine. As Cole stood there, waiting for his two weapons to come back to him stronger than ever, he glanced out the window into the theater.
There being brought down by the Nazi Pegasi Zombies into the horde was Zeta, blasting all the way to the cold embrace of ground. There was nothing that Cole could do but watch on in horror as his friend and last companion was ripped to pieces by the zombie horde, though he did laugh at Zeta’s last cry.
“DON”T LET THEM TAKE MY VODKA!!!”
As Cole gathered the Zeus Cannon and his Porter’s X2, he was teleported back to the main room where earlier that day he stood with four others. With a heavy sigh, the helpful demon walked towards the horde that killed his last friend. With four blasts of the all powerful Zeus Cannon, the entire horde was wiped out.
After another two waves of equal melancholy combat, the evil D’AWW worthy voice spoke up once again. “The last batch didn’t work, so I’ll send these new ones. NOW FETCH ME HIS SOUL!!” Rachel yelled as three bolts of lightning brought down Cole’s next opponents.
There before him in a new demonized view, were the Mane 6, Celestia, Luna, Cadance, Shining Armor, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, all the popular background ponies, and every other character that caused Cole to become a brony.
The friendly demon...monkey...thing, fought valiantly against his impending doom, his heart shattering with each character he destroyed. He swore he saw a tear fall from Bon Bon’s orange glowing eye as he blasted Lyra into a dozen pieces. Celestia was killed as she threw her body in front of Luna’s, all for naught as the Zeus Cannon put an end to both goddesses.
A hoof striking his back nearly toppled the lone survivor, but he quickly spun around with the Porter’s X2 ready to blast away this latest threat we he came face to muzzle with the famous wall-eyed mare. Derpy’s glowing orange orbs still in their comedic position as if it was still the pilot episode, in a much more creepy and scary sort of way. In Cole’s moment of hesitation, the rest of the cast descended upon him, and began to tear him apart.
“I have fallen into darkness!” was Cole’s last words, before all that could be viewed of him was his massive barrel sized fist sticking above the crowd.
Rachel’s cruel, yet still adorable, laughter echoed through the entire building as the last soul fell to her onslaught. “Now the feature box will be mine!!”
-------------------
Three dimensions over, a bunch of gods and goddesses were joking around in the basement of their parents house. Eris leaned over towards the Basilisk Collective and handed over the Xbox controller to her.
“I have to admit Bertha, switching it from a chess game to Nazi Zombies was probably the best idea Discord has had in a LONG TIME!”
Bertha nodded with a hissy laugh of its own. Tzeentch joined in on the laughter as he grabbed a controller from Loki. Discord and another being of power grabbed the other two controllers to start a new game.
------------------
There was a blinding flash of green light that lit up the entire room. After the resulting glare, four unusual traveling companions stood in the center of a dusty room, on what appeared to be a pad. The group composed of a diamond dog, with glowing purple claws and a jagged scar across his throat, a griffin, fueled by hatred with red markings across his face and chest, a green minotaur, the strongest there was, and a gargoyle, wingless and amoral.
“We need to bring light to this dark place!”
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Rachel the Queen of D'AWW's
I approve
I really just don't know what to say.
I say... epic.... I didn't even know Twiggy had a wife and kids...
The more ya know
Haha! Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.
...but i'm afraid I'm not sure what the second scenario is. LOTR?
Soooooo... this is a crossover about ponies and what? from the title "Nazi-Pony" I think about cod 5 and black ops zombie mode so it's a crossover with cod's zombie characters?
And did I mention that one of the things I hate the most are when an author posts a Crossover and doesn't even say what's the crossover about?
You made twilight angry cuz of your lack of explanation
926331
It's a little hard to explain. If you have seen the massive influx of 'Chessverse' stories around it is a crossover between some of those characters, who play out the roles of the respective Russian, American, German, Japanese guys, with Nazi Pony Zombies trying to kill them.
926349
Ok thanks, now that I know I'll give it a try.
I'll tell you what I think afterwards
You call it the "Random Box" but wasn't it the "Mistery Box"? maybe I'm wrong but I always called it that...
Overall it was a nice story, and you just received a Thumb Up
So, when Gods play Xbox, they get to choose from the Pieces? I want one. We need more real life games consisting of Mega Crossovers, and more Mega TV/Movie Crossovers (good ones, mind you)
HA HA HA
I love this, it is hilarious
We should totally have a conglomerate spoof thing where anybody can submit a chapter!
1039715
That's the idea I'm planning to have for this one. I'll make an announcement about it to the other Chessverse authors.
You mentioned my character!!! Yay! I am NOTICED! But, uh, his name's Truenis now. Only problem. And he would probably have used air magic to use Razor Wind. But still, I happy.
Loved it, keep it up.