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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Doing good so far. Definitely some grammar mistakes.
As well has a space between the words as and well, it's not a joined word.
Also you used know as now in a few sentences. Otherwise just some smaller mistakes, loving the story.
Can't wait to see just how far you take this adventure and to what extent.
8280632 Thanks for pointing out the mistakes. I'll be sure to correct them when I can. Have to do some research on animals for their wonderful genetic trails.
You are very pretty.
I can dig or I can now dig might fit better in this case.
Any other errors that I noticed have been mentioned by Star ShaDe.
There ar some mistakes but the story is nice so dont stop!
*Dermal. Durmal isn't a word.
I'm really starting to like this MC
gelbooru.com/images/b7/a8/b7a826bf3f79cb810dfbd05c8a207275.png
Bit of a mary sue, isn't he.
8892555 Yeah... Thats what i'm going for. Although, if you read more you'll see he isn't unbeatable.
I get you're trying to go for a satire mary sue here, but you could at least work on your spelling my dude.
8892555
It's garry-sue not mary-sue
8892555
9453940
So? There are two ways you can go with a fic like this:
- throw some limitations at the protag to see how he handles (the sensible approach), or
- throw the protag at shit and see wanton destruction, Serious-Sam-style
It's supposed to be funny. He's gonna fuck shit up, that's what he went there for.
I want to see shit being fucked up. It's ridiculous, and I want more. It caters to the darker version of me, buried deep under layers of being an idiot white-knight, a goody two-shoes, a social paranoiac... the works. It'd feel amazing to just let loose like that...
freeway I have no idea how to imagine that. FELLOW READERS, I NEED ASSISTANCE!
9513267
This!
FINALLY SOMEONE REMEMBERS THE GAME BULLETSTORM