Sometimes life can throw you so many curve balls it gets repetitive. But now life has thrown me the ultimate curve ball. Now trapped in Equestria as an Alicorn with little to no real power I'm gonna have to adjust. I just wish they'd make it easier f
Well you've gotten my interest for the moment. Though you really need to either get an editor or go though your stuff a bit better. Your biggest issue is you tend to miss whole words for some sentences. As an example "You look Kyra." its easy enough to guess what word was missing, but it happens a few time each chapter and is kind of jarring. Even with that problem the story is amusing enough to keep reading.
I personally like this story and am looking forward to the next chapter, chapter 6. I give you a lot of points for not following the formulaic and beaten to death, HIE story format/formula. Also I give you points for not making the Mane Character (See what I did there) a sexually stunted shut-in that hyperventilates into a paper bag from sheer terror every time the story gets the least bit sexually suggestive. (Seriously that really bugs me about the stories on this sight) Seriously WAY too many characters are written to be sexual phobics. whose panic responses and second guessing and utter terror over a basic beginning of a "Make Out Session" would throw up red flags to any sexually healthy adult.
Any way, like I said. This is a great story, you have avoided these two main HIE Story pit falls. And I wan to see more.
"Your friendship with her is great. And speaking of video games, we were hoping to get your gamertag for some multiplayer gaming sometime." Shit Luna, Princess Luna wants to play video games with me? I guess that headcannon is true at least.
I just thought of the Funniest headcannon... Luna is NoobMaster69...
Well put! Muphry's Law has been appeased.
Well you've gotten my interest for the moment. Though you really need to either get an editor or go though your stuff a bit better. Your biggest issue is you tend to miss whole words for some sentences. As an example "You look Kyra." its easy enough to guess what word was missing, but it happens a few time each chapter and is kind of jarring. Even with that problem the story is amusing enough to keep reading.
Mmm... good story, this says. Some errors here and there, but over, it is good, so keep at it.
I personally like this story and am looking forward to the next chapter, chapter 6. I give you a lot of points for not following the formulaic and beaten to death, HIE story format/formula. Also I give you points for not making the Mane Character (See what I did there) a sexually stunted shut-in that hyperventilates into a paper bag from sheer terror every time the story gets the least bit sexually suggestive. (Seriously that really bugs me about the stories on this sight) Seriously WAY too many characters are written to be sexual phobics. whose panic responses and second guessing and utter terror over a basic beginning of a "Make Out Session" would throw up red flags to any sexually healthy adult.
Any way, like I said. This is a great story, you have avoided these two main HIE Story pit falls. And I wan to see more.
The Monk
I just thought of the Funniest headcannon...
Luna is NoobMaster69...